The Island Of Bears: A BBW Paranormal Romance (11 page)

Smiling, Cora held it up to me. “It’s a state-of-the-art laser gun. Or, at least it was back in the eighties when the scientists were here, but I’m sure it probably still is. They used it to do some kind of weird experiments involving diamond-cutting or something. It’s been stored in a little case in the medical center for decades now, but as far as I know, it’s still functional.”

I stood up from the table to get a closer look at the gun. “Well, is it dangerous?”

“Oh, definitely. One of the scientists accidentally shot himself in the hand with a laser beam from it once, and it caused some pretty serious damage. The hole it made was exactly like a gunshot. That’s why we’re going to be very careful with it, and wear our safety goggles, for whatever good they’d do, not that we’re going to be shooting ourselves in the eyeballs with it anyway.”

“You really think we should try this on the shells? Won’t it just make them explode or something?”

“No, because there’s several settings, depending on how thin and precise of a laser beam you want. Setting one is the thinnest beam, which I think is what we’d want to use for your shells, settings two, three, and four are thicker beams, and five is...well, five, I guess would be the ‘murder by laser gun’ setting. Oh, and there’s safety setting, too, kind of like the safety lock on a regular gun. I’ll teach you how to use it, so you don’t accidentally blow me away. Oh, and, yes, back to your first question, I think we should definitely give this a try on the shells. I think this is going to be all sorts of fun.”

It was. Over the next couple of hours, Cora showed me how to operate the gun, and we each took turns lasering my shells into different beautiful shapes, lasering through the wooden surface of the table in the process, but Cora said that didn’t even matter.

“It’s a work table. It’s meant to be a little beat up.”

Soon, with my heart feeling like it might soar right out of my chest, I completed making a gorgeous necklace strung with pale pink shells carefully cut into tiny, delicate ovals of various sizes. But completing the necklace wasn’t the only reason my heart was soaring, and it definitely wasn’t the biggest.

Cora didn’t know it, but she’d given me exactly what I’d been needing to go forward with my plan to destroy all the Forms myself. I’d do what damage I could do with the four sticks of dynamite that I had, then I’d take out any who survived the blast with the laser gun, which seemed like it would be a heck of a lot easier for me to use than a regular gun, considering that my aim wouldn’t have to be as precise, because instead of single bullets, I’d be able to shoot a continuous laser beam. It was perfect. I was now completely ready to go.

*

The following night, it was easy enough for me to slip away from the clambake. While several dozen of the adults in the village danced, laughed, and ate on the darkened beach, Holden held me close on the blanket near the bonfire, but after an hour or so, he let me up so I could take a little walk by myself. I told him that I just wanted to clear my head and have some time alone on the island I’d grown to love before I had to leave it the next day. I felt a pang of guilt while telling this lie, but I told myself that it was necessary. Once the remaining four Forms were dead, I figured Holden would be so happy he’d forgive me. Especially once he realized what great lengths I’d gone through so that we could stay together.

While I brushed some sand off my shorts, preparing to leave, he stood as well and looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite read. “In light of what happened last week, I probably don’t even need to say this, but please remain strictly within the village on your walk.”

Struggling not to visibly cringe from my guilt, I nodded. “Okay.”

Holden pulled me close and brushed a lingering kiss against my lips. “I’ll be waiting right here.”

I soon walked away from him and everyone else at the clambake, feeling like the biggest villain that had ever lived. But nonetheless, I was still determined to follow through with my plan.

After walking to my cabin and grabbing my backpack, which now not only contained the dynamite and some matches but the laser gun as well, I hopped on a bike that I’d borrowed from Cora and very quietly set out down one of several bike trails that ran through the jungle. From what I’d heard, the particular trail I was on hadn’t been used in a year or so, ever since the Forms had begun often straying far from their lake. I’d chosen this specific trail because it led directly to the lake, or at least fairly close to it, though by way of cutting around to the west in a wide arc. In this way, I hoped to avoid the half-dozen or so guards who were on Form patrol at various points in a half-circle around the north of the village.

As I pedaled Cora’s bike through the darkened jungle, which was dimly lit only by the silvery light from the half-full moon, I realized that surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous or scared at all. I’d imagined I would be. But now that my plan was really happening, I wasn’t. I was just eager to get things over with. I was ready to move on with my future with Holden.

I pedaled down the trail hard for at least twenty minutes or so before glancing down at my wrist to check the time on my glow-in-the dark watch face. The watch, which had a curious habit of sometimes seeming to go backward by an hour or two at a time since I’d been on the island, though it hadn’t done this all week, now said midnight exactly. I knew the shadowy Forms were likely all buried deep beneath the murky gloom of their watery home by now. It was finally time. It was finally happening. And now, in the quiet darkness of the jungle, I was starting to get a little nervous, though just a bit. Just enough to make my palms slightly sweaty on the handlebars of Cora’s bike. Also, apparently, just enough to bring out my nervous habit of talking to myself.

With my voice coming out in a whisper, I peered out onto the stretch of trail ahead. “Just relax, Haley. Just relax and do what you need to do.”

Soon the trail ended, and fairly abruptly, becoming completely clogged with large rocks and fallen trees. I hopped off Cora’s bike and set it against a log, and that’s when I noticed the odor. It was like the smell of rotting garbage, but mixed with something even worse, something even more putrid. It filled my nostrils, and I struggled not to gag, realizing I’d have to make sure to breathe through my mouth only from this point on, unless I wanted to get sick.

Being that I’d heard talk about how foul-smelling the area around the lake was, I knew I was very close. After taking the laser gun out of my bag, talking the safety off, and tucking it in the waistband of my shorts, I began creeping forward, stepping over branches and stones, trying not to make a sound. The last thing I wanted to do was alert the Forms to my presence before I had time to place the dynamite sticks and light them.

I needn’t have worried. Almost immediately after reaching the lake/pond, I stumbled over a stick or a rock or something, causing a sharp pain in my still-healing ankle, and I couldn’t hold back from hissing a curse word. But even after several seconds had passed, the surface of the lake remained as smooth as glass. Cora had told me once that for a body of water so small, the lake was supposedly very deep, maybe even dozens of feet deep, though nobody even knew for sure. Apparently, it was at least deep enough to muffle sound well enough that an explosively uttered curse word couldn’t be heard by the creatures below the surface.

Setting up the dynamite, which I placed at four different points around the lake, turned out to be just as easy as my exit from the clambake. It was lighting the four sticks that turned out to be difficult. Each of them had extremely long coiled wicks, that when stretched out were at least two feet in length, but even still, this wasn’t such a long length that I thought I’d have anything over two or three minutes to light them all one by one, speeding around the lake, and then get the hell away before the first explosion.

I practically flew. Clutching a book of matches, I sprinted around the lake faster than I’d ever sprinted before in my life, lighting the wicks of the dynamite sticks one by one while my heart hammered in my ears. I was all the way back by my bike before the first explosion rocked the stony ground beneath my feet. It was like a brief, incredibly powerful earthquake, closely followed by another, and then two more.

I heaved a sigh of relief that everything was going exactly the way I’d planned so far. “Yes. Perfect.”

Taking the laser gun out of my waistband, I dashed back to the lake immediately, ready and eager to shoot at any Forms who’d survived the blast. Though at first glance, it didn’t appear that any had. It appeared that they were all dying, or were in the process of dying.

Four huge craters sat in a ring around the lake, and in the pale moonlight, I could see that the lake itself was absolutely covered in trees and boulders and all manner of other debris from the blast. I couldn’t even see any water left in the lake, as if it had all been splashed out simply by the force and mass of the debris. Above the whole mess, several inky black shapes so dark that they looked like bottomless holes against the night sky hovered in the air, moving upward ever so slowly. From them, some sort of high-pitched collective wail was emanating loudly, though getting quieter by degrees every moment until presently, after maybe ten seconds or so, it suddenly stopped. Almost simultaneously, the inky black shapes seemed to explode, or implode, or
something
, in the dark it was hard to tell exactly what, and then they were just gone.

Thinking how relatively easy the whole thing had been, I lowered the laser gun, right before an inky black Form in the shape of a wolf began charging over to me from some point maybe twenty feet away, snarling. I had just enough time to raise the laser gun and shoot him with it. A beam of bright white light seemed to connect directly with his forehead, and he went down right away, howling. And then he was still. He didn’t float up in the air or disappear like the others, whether that was because he’d already been in more solid form at the time he was killed, or different from the others in some other way, I had no idea. And I really didn’t care. All the Forms were dead and their mystical underwater home had been destroyed. Now I didn’t have to be parted from Holden. Now we could continue on with our relationship in peace.

After silently taking a look at the scene of destruction I’d caused, feeling more than a bit triumphant and victorious, I began walking back from the lake in the direction of my bike and nearly ran smack into a dozen roaring black bears, who were charging at me so fast they were all nearly a blur.

With Holden at the front, they all came to a near dead stop when they saw me, and right after, Holden shifted into human form.

Not even caring that his men were all standing right behind him, I all but threw myself into his arms, burying my face in his chest. “I did it, Holden. I killed all the Forms. They’re all dead. I used the dynamite from the cellar, and the laser gun that the scientists left, and I killed them all. Three of them died with the dynamite blast, and the fourth I had to take out with the laser. And I did it all for us. I did it for our future. Now I don’t have to leave, and we can stay together.”

The whole time I’d been speaking, Holden’s body had remained curiously stiff. He wasn’t holding me back, and he wasn’t kissing the top of my head all over or stroking my hair like I’d thought he might. He’d just been standing rigid as a board.

But now, he finally moved, though it was only to gently-yet-firmly push me away from him. His expression was a mask of disbelief and anguish.

“Haley, what have you done?”

CHAPTER TEN

I stared at Holden, absolutely stunned. “What do you mean? What do you mean what have I done?”

Holden glanced back at his men, who were all still in their bear forms. “Back to the village, please.”

They all quickly did as they were told and took off, though at a much slower rate of speed they’d been traveling at when they’d approached.

Once the last of them had passed us, Holden turned to look at me again, taking a small step back from me even as did so, as if wanting to distance himself from me.

Completely baffled, I searched his face as best I could in the moonlight. “Look, I know I did something deceitful and sneaky, and I’m sorry about that; I truly am. But I did it for us. For
us
, Holden. Because I felt like there was no other way. I just couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from you for a year, or two, or more. I just couldn’t stand the thought of what happened to Dr. Bradley possibly happening to me, too. So, that’s why I did what I did. And now I don’t have to leave the island. Now we can be together.”

I could see the muscles in his strong, square jaw working, and he spoke through what sounded like gritted teeth

“You’re right. You don’t have to leave the island. You can stay if you’d like. But we can’t be together.”

I couldn’t even speak for a long moment. “But...all I did for us....”

“But you didn’t do the one thing I needed you to do. Apparently you
couldn’t
do it. I just needed you to trust me, Haley. That’s all I asked. And yes, we might have been separated for a while. But things would have worked out just fine in the end. But now, you’ve ruined it. You just showed me, in pretty spectacular fashion, that you can’t trust me, and I can’t trust you, either. And because of that, we can’t be together. What kind of sense would that make? To continue on with a relationship where trust has been completely shattered, by one person, in two different ways.”

Feeling as if some strange invisible weight were descending on my shoulders and pushing against my chest, I took a tiny step closer to Holden. “Please. I thought I was fixing everything. I didn’t think you’d take it this way.”

He snorted, his expression one of clear disgust. “Exactly what way did you think I’d ‘take it'? Did you really think you could promise to make a real effort to trust me, and then immediately go behind my back and steal several sticks of dynamite and a laser gun, and then take those items out here to the most dangerous place on the island, and I’d just be fine with it? Did you seriously think I’d be wanting to continue our relationship?”

“I... I guess I just thought—”

“Haley, I think you have a problem.”

“What?”

“I think you have a problem. And actually, problems, plural. And I don’t mean to sound harsh like this, but it’s the truth. You’re a gorgeous woman with many, many positive qualities that made me fall in love with you, but you’ve also got some problems that you need to be aware of and correct if you ever expect to have a healthy, functioning, trusting relationship. Just for one, it’s become very clear to me that you have a problem with not thinking things through well enough, or not really thinking much at all. This is clearly evidenced by the fact that in the span of one week, you’ve managed to put yourself in danger not once, but twice. And if we want to go back in history a little bit, maybe even you finding the fountain at Ellis Island was my first clue about that. It struck me that any woman very concerned for her own safety probably wouldn’t have wandered off the grounds like that, to a secluded place where she could have very easily been attacked. But then later, to your credit, when I found you, you
did
seem very concerned for your own safety, and you regarded me with what I thought was a very appropriate amount of skepticism, which, when I put all the pieces of what had happened to you together, made me think that maybe you finding the fountain was just a fluke, and not an indication of a possible pattern of lapses in judgment. But, unfortunately, it turns out I was wrong.”

Somewhere nearby in the jungle, some tropical bird cawed shrilly a few times, then went silent.

After a deep breath, Holden continued on, looking directly into my eyes. “You say that you want to be in charge of your own safety, but I just don’t see how that’s possible. I wanted to take complete responsibility for your safety because of my caring for you, but if I’m being completely honest, that was also because a little part of me didn’t think you were up to the job yourself. You’re too impulsive. I also think you’re a little immature in your decision-making for a woman in her late twenties, and maybe that goes hand-in-hand with not thinking things through. For yet another thing, I think you can be a bit selfish at times. I get the feeling that you didn’t really stop to think about how your decision not to trust me would make me feel, and you certainly didn’t think about the fact that if things had gone wrong for you with the Forms tonight, they could have charged to the village, enraged, and done some very serious damage. They could have hurt or even killed many people. But I don’t think you thought about that. It seems that tonight, it was all about you and what you wanted, and maybe this is how it is with you a lot of the time. Again, I don’t mean all this to sound harsh...but you have some serious problems that you need to address.”

A few tears rolled down my cheeks, and I hastily wiped them away.

“Well...well, maybe I do have some problems. But can you forgive me if I promise to try to change? Will you give me another chance?”

“Not right now, Haley. I’m sorry.”

“But—”

“It’s way too soon. If there’s any hope at all left for us, you can’t just give me lip service. You need to take time to think. You need to take time to examine your actions and consider how they affect others. After that, maybe we can talk again, but to be perfectly honest, I can’t guarantee that I’ll be open to that.”

“Holden, please. I’ll think, and I’ll consider my actions, and I’ll do everything you want me to do, but please promise that you’ll at least give me another chance. You’re the best man I’ve ever met in my entire life, and I—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t make this harder.”

“I love you.”

The words had just tumbled right out of my mouth.

Holden just began striding away from me, glancing back over his shoulder. “I’m sure a woman ballsy enough to blow up a lake with dynamite and shoot a laser gun can manage to bike her way back to the village on her own.”

He then shifted into bear form and began sprinting away from me in the direction of the village.

With more tears wetting my cheeks, I just stood for several moments, silently watching his dark shape disappear, before collapsing to the stony ground, sobbing.

I had no idea how long I cried. It felt like it could have been minutes or it could have been hours. All I knew was that I was crying for two different reasons. The first, obviously, was that I’d lost Holden. But the second reason was because I knew deep in my gut that the things he’d said were right. I had behaved selfishly and immaturely. I did have problems with thinking things through. I could see that now. I realized that now. And I was sorry. I just didn’t know if I’d ever be able to convince Holden of that.

Eventually, I got on my bike and rode back to the village, still crying. I trudged into my cabin and fell into bed, still dressed, and still crying. Feeling as if my heart were breaking in two, I cried myself to sleep, and then woke several times during the night to cry some more. By the time I awoke for good sometime during mid-morning, I had no more tears left to cry. I was finally completely spent, though my chest still ached with raw, throbbing hurt.

I’d just dragged myself out of the shower and pulled on some clothes when Cora knocked on the front door. When I answered it, without a word she immediately came in, led me over to one of two overstuffed couches in the living room, and sat us both down before speaking.

“You goofed. I’m sure you know it. But at the same time, you did take out all the Forms last night, which is pretty incredible, so I’m kind of conflicted about what to say to you right now. So, I guess I’ll just say the only thing that really matters. You’re my friend, and I stick by my friends no matter what. I stick by them no matter if they do dumb things, or make a few really bad, dangerous choices. I’m all about giving people second chances, because many have been given to me, so even if you don’t want to talk, I’m going to stay here with you all day, just to keep you company, because something tells me you could use some right now. Something just tells me you need a friend.”

I nodded with my eyes becoming a little misty, realizing that I had a few more tears in me left after all. “Thanks, Cora. I really don’t deserve your friendship. And I really don’t deserve Holden, either, but I still want him back. I can’t help it. I love him. I love him with all my heart even though I don’t deserve him at all. Last night, I was doing some pretty serious thinking while I was having a pretty intense cry, and I decided that I want to become the woman he deserves to be with. I want to be me, just better. Just a me who thinks things through a little more and thinks about other people first. A me that trusts Holden and has his trust in return. I have to believe that this version of me is possible, even though I’m scared that it’s not.”

Cora opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, loud talking and laughing from somewhere nearby outside came through the open windows of my living room.

Cora promptly got up and shut both of the windows, borderline slamming them shut, before coming back over to sit. “Anyway, as I was about to say...”

“Who was that out there?”

Cora rolled her chocolate-brown eyes, sighing. “Nobody. Just two noisy, loud idiots out for a walk. And if they know what’s good for them, they’ll just keep walking right on by your cabin. Unless they want me to come out and very forcefully direct them to do just that.”

“But who were they, though? And why were they laughing so loudly?”

I hoped the answer wasn’t because word had already spread about Holden dumping me, and now people were making fun of me. Though if that were the case, I supposed I’d made my bed by taking the actions that I had, and now I had to sleep in it.

Cora sighed again. “Look. I really have no idea why they were laughing so loudly, other than the fact that they’re both generally loud and obnoxious people, but as to who they were...well, I guess you’re going to find out sooner or later, and it’s probably best that you hear it from me.” She paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “The two women out there are Conner’s cousins, so my cousins-in-law, I guess. They’re sisters, and they started off with our group here in Sun Cove way back when, but for the past five years or so, they’ve lived with the wolves. And it’s a long story for another day about how that came to be. One of them is named Hannah, and the other is Ashley. Hannah used to have a thing with Holden, but it ended badly. Again, probably a story for a different day.”

Feeling my heartbeat accelerating, I tried to remain calm. “Well, what are Hannah and Ashley doing back here in the village?”

Cora shrugged. “When they showed up unannounced this morning, Hannah said they just felt like making a visit to spend some time with their cousin Conner, but I know that’s bull. They’ve never been particularly close to Conner at all, or to me. In fact, Hannah, Ashley, and I never even remotely got along. So, my best guess is that they’re back in the village because Hannah feels like she has some unfinished business with Holden.”

I was still sorry that I’d done what I’d done the night before, but something like this was one of the many reasons why I’d wanted to make it so that Holden and I wouldn’t have to be separated. I hadn’t wanted to leave him alone on the island with so many attractive women around, despite the fact that I supposed if he wanted to be with one of them in particular in the long-term, he could have done so long before I’d arrived.

Absentmindedly twirling a braided tassel on one of the throw pillows on the couch, Cora continued. “But, please...even if Hannah
is
up to something along of the lines of wanting to be with Holden again, please don’t spend even a second thinking about her. Holden knows exactly the type of woman she is, and he decided long ago that she wasn’t the type of woman he wants to settle down with forever.”

Surprising myself, I nodded. “I
won’t
spend any time thinking about her. Or, at least I’ll try my damnedest not to. I won’t get in Holden’s business about her, either. I want to work things out with him, and in order to do that, I know I’ve got to learn to trust him. I know I’ve got to
prove
it to him that I trust him. And maybe this is the first step in doing that. Maybe Hannah coming back to the village is really a blessing in disguise, because this gives me my first chance to show Holden that I realize I’ve behaved badly in the past, but I’m committed to making some changes.”

Cora smiled, crinkling the corners of her eyes. “I think you’re definitely on the right track to making some of those changes already. And I have a feeling that if you stick to this right track, which I think that you will even though it might be hard, you and Holden will eventually be able to work things out and start looking forward to a future together.”

I returned her smile, praying she was right.