He took his breath and continued.
“That’s why I’m saying you’re selfish and ungrateful. If you don’t like it, you need to suck it up and grow a pair. There are thousands of people who count on the Famiglia to survive. You can’t just walk away and act like you don’t care. All the money that you enjoy today comes from a job – a nice job on Wall Street thanks to a nice degree that all of us have paid for. If you had to live in streets, you wouldn’t be able to generate one single dollar. You hear me son? Not a single dollar! You’d starve to death. So if you think you’re self-made, think about it again. You’re not – WE MADE YOU. Now it’s time to step up to the plate and show us what you’ve got.”
Enzo was speechless.
Nobody had ever talked to him like that. His ego and his pride were badly hurt. His blood was boiling and he wanted to fight – not physically, but verbally.
He wanted to defend himself. He wanted to win the argument. Winning was what he was born to do. But this time, the battle involved too much personal issues and his emotions were out of control.
It took him five good minutes to calm down and let go. He kept silent and walked around, like a caged animal. He was struggling internally. His emotions and his rational mind were clashing, trying to pull him in different directions.
When he was finally able to calm down, Enzo realized that Danny was right. It was hard to admit but he was damn right. It was like a giant bitter pill to swallow. He wished he could fight and argue but there was no point. The truth was standing right in front of his face and he couldn’t escape.
Surprisingly, he wasn’t mad at Danny. He didn’t resent him. He didn’t feel threatened either. Danny and all these men were here to help. They weren’t enemies – they were part of the family.
And most importantly, Enzo was well aware that they were looking for help. Danny could say whatever he wanted but at the end of the day, they were indeed looking for help.
A strange and warm feeling started to grow in his chest and his stomach. He couldn’t explain it at first, but he quickly identified how he felt – he felt protected. There was somebody out there watching his back, and it felt great.
He was upset about the whole situation but at the same time, he knew he wasn’t alone in this mess. He also felt impressed by Danny’s honesty and ability to be so straightforward. That man was incredibly frank and although his words were painful to hear, Enzo instinctively knew that he could trust him.
Danny wasn’t exactly a gentleman but he was reliable and genuine. It felt good to have him on his side and Enzo felt reassured. His experience and wisdom were very helpful, and Enzo understood why his father liked him so much.
“Hum… You’re not afraid to say what you’ve got on your mind! I’ll admit I’m impressed and you’ve got a point. You’re a lot wiser than I expected.” Enzo finally said.
Danny smiled. “There are lots of things you don’t know about us, Enzo. So what do you say? Do you want to take over or not? This is important, you need to think about it and we don’t have much time.”
Enzo checked his watch – he’d been away for way more than ten minutes and Victoria was probably waiting for him. He was late and Vicky hated late people.
“Danny, do I really need to answer right now? I’ve got to get back to work and I need to think about it. It’s all so sudden and brutal. I’ve got a life of my own, you understand? I really need time. Give me… I don’t know, a week.”
Danny patted Enzo on the back. “Alright, think about it.”
Enzo felt relieved. “Thanks.”
Danny turned his back to leave.
“By the way, your mama still doesn’t know. It’s going to be very tough for her… I think you should be there when we tell her, but I can’t promise we’ll be able to keep the secret for very long. She’ll probably feel that something is wrong. We’ll be around the house if you need us.”
“Thanks, Danny…” Enzo sighed.
“Oh and one more thing - we can’t afford to wait for a week. You’ve got until the end of the day to give us an answer.”
Enzo rushed to the restrooms and locked the door. His head was spinn
ing and he felt extremely lightheaded. He was struggling to realize that his father was gone and banged his fists against the door.
The shock was still blocked somewhere in his brain and he couldn’t really absorb it. His mind was resisting the idea that his whole world was about to collapse - actually, it had already begun but Enzo couldn’t deal with reality. Not now.
He couldn’t let everything fall apart just like that. He didn’t want to. He just couldn’t let that happen - the world he lived in was a beautiful place he had to protect at all cost.
He grabbed a little bag filled with white powder inside his jacket and opened his wallet. That was a familiar routine that would make him feel better. If the real world couldn’t give him the reality he wanted then, he’d create his own in the artificial world of his mind.
Enzo emptied the little bag on the counter basin and used his black card Amex to form two parallel lines of cocaine - one for each nostril. Then, he took a bill from his wallet and rolled it.
He bent forward, brought his improvised straw to his right nostril and snorted.
Wooooo!! Hell yeah!
Then, he switched side, repeating the same process with his left nostril.
Hooo!!! Fuck!!
That was it - that was a good way to escape this fucking reality and be a winner no matter what. Enzo shook his head energetically and closed his eyes to fully appreciate the rush of dopamine in his brain - it felt so good!
That was the kind of pump he needed! It wasn’t a lot of coke and he only had about thirty minutes to enjoy the euphoria, before the comedown - but that was good enough.
He could have asked to leave the office to go back home, but he didn’t want to - it was his first day with Doyle Brothers and he couldn’t afford to leave a bad first impression.
Plus, Victoria was waiting for him. He didn’t want to disappoint her again - this time, he had to show up. Enzo had formed the habit of not showing up when he was dating her. And this had driven Vicky out of her mind on many occasions. He would often arrive one, two or even three hours late. Sometimes, he would cancel at the last minute. In that case, Vicky wouldn’t talk to him for several days or even weeks.
Enzo looked at his reflection in the mirror and smiled - that was the good old days.
Now that his mind was sharp again thanks to the cocaine, he vividly remembered how he felt when he couldn’t see her. Seconds felt like minutes; minutes felt like hours; and hours felt like forever. He could literally spend days lying in bed, just day-dreaming about her and how beautiful she was.
Whenever they had an appointment, all problems suddenly disappeared. Everything was just fine and amazing. Life was just so beautiful. It felt so good to be so deep in love. It was
La Vie En Rose
, like she used to say.
It was killing him whenever she had to wait for him, sometimes under the rain or in the cold during winter. But there was nothing he could do about it.
Sometimes his mom would show up in his room and tell him it was a ‘red day’. Basically, that meant that his father’s men had identified a threat and everybody in the family had to stay home, under close protection. And he had to cancel with Vicky.
Sometimes, he would eat out with his parents but instead of going home after that, they would switch cars and go spend the night in a hotel out of town to avoid his father’s enemies. And he had to cancel with Vicky.
Sometimes, his father’s men would pick him up after school and hide him in a warehouse because of kidnapping rumors. And Vicky had to wait for him for hours.
Enzo couldn’t remember how many times this kind of situations happened but at the time, he clearly hated his family for screwing his relationship so much. He wished he was just a normal kid with a normal family.
However, Enzo never compromised his father’s identity and always found an excuse for his weird behavior. That was part of the family - the Code of Silence.
Omerta
.
That single word had haunted Enzo’s entire childhood. He’d heard countless stories about men who had disappeared in disturbing circumstances for talking too much. Nobody outside of the Famiglia could ever know. Ever. Letting an outsider know about the family’s business was considered one of the highest treason within the organization. And the price to pay was extremely steep. Enzo knew it.
He knew it didn’t always make sense for Vicky and sometimes, things were so complicated that his imagination was out of good ideas. But he couldn’t tell her. He wasn’t afraid for his own life though - he was afraid for her. If she knew, she’d become a threat and would be a liability for his father’s business. Meaning, she’d had to be terminated. And Enzo couldn’t let that happen.
Today, ten years later, circumstances seemed strangely familiar - his family’s affairs were interfering again between them. Except that Enzo was now a grown man and he was determined to do things right. She was waiting for him and he had to show up.
He took a tissue and cleaned the counter basin. Then, he took a mint to make sure he had a fresh breath and rearranged his hair. He checked his nose one more time in the mirror, to make sure it was clean. Finally, he took a deep breath and took a moment to clear his mind. He was ready to go.
He unlocked the door and walked out of the restrooms like the King of the Street. He had his usual swagger and nobody could ever guess he had just lost his father.
He walked to Victoria’s office and went straight to her door, ready to knock. When Ellen saw him, she immediately jumped on her feet to stop him.
“No, no! You can’t get in Ms. De Lissieu’s office just like that, sir! You have to wait for me to make sure she’s available!” Ellen looked really upset about Enzo’s lack of good manners.
“Come on, it’s me. I have an appointment with Vicky.” He replied with his ‘I don’t care’ look on his face.
“Vicky? Sir, excuse me but you have to wait. Ms. De Lissieu is on the phone right now. And you can’t just do as you please, you have to go through me first - that’s my job…” Ellen insisted.
Enzo looked at her from head to toes. She seemed pretty stuck-up but lucky for her, she was also very cute.
“Aww, sorry my dear… I came earlier this morning and there was nobody. How come we didn’t meet?” He said, changing his approach.
Ellen seemed to calm down. “Yes, I know, I saw you. I was probably away for a while but usually, I’m always here and I’m supposed to announce you…”
Enzo looked inside Victoria’s office and saw that she was busy. “Alright, alright… Can you tell her I’m waiting at my desk then? And very nice shoes by the way.”
Ellen blushed and smiled. “Aww… Thank you! I just bought them yesterday and wasn’t sure they’d match with my suit pants. Okay, I’ll let her know you came to see her. Err… What’s your name again, please?”
“I’m Enzo Fancelli. Nice to meet you.” He said, walking back to his desk.
Enzo returned to his desk where Jeff was waiting for him.
“Your coffee is cold… Do you want another one?” Jeff said.
“That’s fine. So do I have my login and password or not yet?”
“Yes, it’s all good. The guys came while you were away. Here’s your login and temporary password…” Jeff said, sliding an envelope on the table.
Enzo opened it and turned on his computer. It took several minutes for his PC to prompt the identification window, and Enzo found himself lost in his thoughts again.
Dad is dead… My God, what am I going to do… He’s really dead. Gone. Forever…
Enzo couldn’t fully grasp the idea that he would never see his father again. It was hard to believe. Hard to understand. Even harder to accept. It was completely new to him and he had no idea how to cope with it.
He wasn’t even sad yet. He was still at a stage of disbelief and denial - it couldn’t be true! His dad was a fucking Don! The Don of the Famiglia! He was one of the most feared and respected man in New York in the underground world. He couldn’t just die like that! He couldn’t have been murdered, that was just so hard to believe. He’d spent his entire life running away from cops, chasing his rivals, eliminating his enemies and avoiding death - why now?
Enzo was staring at the screen like a zombie and Jeff gently tapped his arm.
“Enzo? Sorry, but you have to login now…” He said.
“Hum? Oh yeah, right…” Enzo replied. The cocaine wasn’t as effective as usual. He did feel high but it wasn’t as strong as usual. He couldn’t enjoy it completely.
He finally logged in and turned on all his monitors. He just wanted to check the news while waiting for Victoria and watched Bloomberg TV. There wasn’t anything interesting at the moment. He grabbed his cup of coffee and took a sip - it was horrible.
“Arrg… Where did you get it?” He asked Jeff.
“There’s a machine near the elevators. We all take coffee over there.”
“Well, I won’t put that crap into my body. Go to Starbucks and get me a real coffee. Here’s fifty bucks. Take something for yourself and bring me an extra iced cappuccino.”
Jeff took the money and left the open space. Enzo was now alone. He wanted to be alone. He had no idea how the coffee actually tasted; he didn’t remember. He didn’t care at all - he was scared. He knew a lot of things were about to change dramatically and he wasn’t prepared.
The idea of taking over his father’s business was something he had never considered seriously - it was too brutal, risky, violent and unpredictable. He wasn’t sure he had the guts to do it.
Suddenly, Enzo felt extremely anxious - what if he lost everything by trying to be a Don? What if he really sucked at it? What if he got killed?
He looked around him and felt paranoid. All these phones ringing and all these people seemed hostiles. Everything echoed in Enzo’s ears in slow motion.
All of a sudden, the whole world seemed like a dangerous and crappy place. Enzo felt his forehead and his temples getting wet - he was sweating profusely and didn’t understand why.
What the fuck is going on? I feel like shit, I don’t know what to do… Where’s Vicky?
He checked his watch and realized that thirty minutes had passed. It was the coke! Enzo was getting into the come down, the crash of the cocaine. All he wanted to do is have more.
Shit!
His high was done. Combined with his psychological and emotional distress, it was an extremely uncomfortable sensation and Enzo suddenly felt lethargic. He just wanted to leave and go to bed.
“Hey Enzo.”
It was Victoria.
“I was expecting you in my office about an hour ago and I know Jeff told you - because I asked him. Basically, you made me wait for you half an hour before I had other things to do. You still don’t know how to be on time, do you?” She said with a bit of sarcasm in her voice.
Enzo knew what she was referring to but wasn’t able to defend himself. “Yeah… Sorry… It was an emergency…”
Victoria raised her eyebrows. “Really? What happened?”
Enzo swiped his sweaty face with a tissue and shook his head. “Nothing… It’s okay actually… Not a big deal…”
She frowned and crossed her arms. “Are you okay, Enzo?”
He looked away. “Yeah…”
“You’re sweating a lot… Do you want some water?”
Enzo made an effort to focus and answer normally. “No, that’s okay, thanks. You wanted to see me about my objectives?”
Victoria sighed and put a folder on his desk. “Yes. I’d like you to read this report. It should help you to understand what kind of stocks we trade and the returns on investment we expect from our traders. But…”