Sure, I could guess how important it was, but I often opted not to. “So then what if I elected you to take her place?”
“That would make you a co-conspirator. And you
probably
don't wanna go there.”
Darn.
She kept going, still mindful, but I could tell she was somewhat serious as well. “Look, I'm gonna assume you're pretty much just thinking out loud here, but you really shouldn't be joking around with stuff like that. People take it pretty seriously with regards to Knights and regular Paranormals in positions of power. As a general rule of thumb, we're not allowed to tell civilians what to do. Knights are trained and can hold rank in the military, but at the end of the day, it's just temporary. Were here to help, first and foremost.”
I had heard the stories the same as anyone else and I had somewhat listened to the news, so why did it feel like I was hearing about this for the first time? “I've never heard about any Knights abusing their power before.”
“That's because it almost never happens. It's kind of a touchy subject. Most people are afraid to even bring it up in public, but it's taken extremely seriously in the Order.” She pursed her lips. “You're probably gonna hear it a lot more now than you have before.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the man who pretended to be Knox fed his anti-Paranormal agenda. He didn't go as far as attacking the Order itself, but... it's not impossible.”
It was strange. She had just said it for the second time, yet I hadn't bothered to notice until now. I clocked my hand like a windmill, trying to get the words out. “You keep talking about the guy who started the whole Sed thing, but you always mention him as the man who
pretended
to be Knox. Why not just call him, Knox, like everyone else?”
Back when it had all started, Knox had never been identified, but Ryan and Kyle had made it perfectly clear that he existed when I had overhead their conversation just outside of Arrino. They had said he had been looking for Paranormals and for some reason me in particular. I hadn't taken it as something super personal, but instead as an omen of a shitty existence. To be sought out by someone of his caliber didn't bare as many questions as it did fears. After everything that had happened since then, I had almost forgotten about it until now.
Olivia took a moment to think about it, only driving me closer. “Not many people know that the real Knox was a strong Paranormal, but she died a long time ago. Amelia Knox founded the Order and ordained the first Knights. She was ruthless. She practically committed genocide and formed her own cult. Her closest followers worshiped her like a God.”
Seriously?
I had been going to school for who knew how long and I had the internet to boot, yet I had never heard of anything remotely close to what Olivia had just told me. “I had no idea.”
She frowned. “That's the idea. Keeping it a secret has probably been the Order's biggest accomplishment since its creation.”
“Why didn't they tell anyone?”
“It's not exactly something you'd want on a resume, much less anything you'd pin onto the history of an organization that tries to help people.”
Right...
Dumb question. I leaned back and let the thought sink in. It was hard to believe that even something as grand as the Order held a skeleton as dark and sizable as Knox, but that still didn't make any sense. “So if the real Knox was a Paranormal, then why would someone want to kill other Paranormals in her name?” Wouldn't they have done the opposite? “And why now?”
Olivia only stared me down, completely serious. I thought she might have glitched out before she finally let me at it. “I was actually hoping you could explain that to me.”
Why would I know?
I shifted in my seat and opened my mouth just as Ellie began to stir. I must have accidentally woken her up. I gazed back at Olivia, but she still wouldn't budge. I thought she might have been messing with me. I had never seen her so still even during our first conversation. I hadn't been expecting her to stay so committed to act the part. What I didn't know was what I didn't understand—she
was
serious, and she only had to say three little words to let me know.
“Amelia
Emma
Knox.”
I could feel the tension in my muscles slowly melt away as the full meaning began to bore into my chest.
“She's still alive, isn't she?”
“Tess?”
I could barely hear Ellie call my name as the thoughts continued to wash through my brain. I couldn't think. I had to force it. I had to find a way to prioritize before I exploded in front of everyone. I slowly turned towards Ellie and watched her blink past watery eyes before taking her hand and stuffing her ring back into her palm. “I'm glad you're okay...” The words had come out hollow, but it was all I could muster. I stood up without bothering to wait for anything else and stumbled through the tent until I made it back outside, only to stop dead in my tracks and lose myself in it all.
I had seen the witch's memories. She had called herself Emma. She had created Juno to come after me, but she had already existed everywhere at once. She had surrounded me in the thoughts of millions for months at a time. She had been Knox the whole time. Why had I not let myself see it before?
I could feel a soft prick itch against the back of my mind and I instantly recognized who it belonged to. I could feel her familiar presence press against my own before I even turned around to see Olivia stand in front the tent's entrance. Why was she following me? Had she come to rub it in my face? She took a step towards me but stopped when I held my hand up. The anger began to take control again.
I could feel the warmth automatically seep into my body and onto the ground around us. It flowed over onto the tents, onto her arms and legs and poured itself into her joints, and at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to unleash a tidal wave against her and fling her back into the air until she was miles away from me.
“You don't wanna do that.”
Or what?
I eyed the pistol on her hip. Even if she had been unarmed, I was sure that she wouldn't be defenseless. I had wanted to see how strong she was. There would be no better test than to see it for myself. I held my breath and could feel the energy choke itself up in my lungs as she slowly got close enough to gently lower my arm back down. She never took her eyes off of me. Even as I finally let the force harmlessly evaporate through my skin and let the pent up air escape out in a controlled stream, she showed no sign of defending herself.
Olivia had seen my memories through my artifact. She must have known all along that I had met Knox when I had almost died in the middle of Arrino, yet she had never said anything until now. She had kept the truth hidden from me. “You lied...”
She slowly shook her head. “No—”
“That's bullshit.” I let her have it in front of her own face. How the fuck was lying by omission any better than flat out altering the truth? “You didn't tell me about Emma.”
“Why?”
What?
The thought cut into my rhythm like a piece of steel and she still persisted.
“
Why
didn't I tell you, Tess?”
How the fuck should I know?
It pissed me off even more when she wouldn't answer her own question. I didn't want to be anywhere near her. “Stay away from me.” I began to walk away and she called after me, prompting us to stare at each other for a moment. I thought I might have seen some of the pain in her eyes. It was enough to make me question it, but I didn't understand. Was she as stupid as I was for caring about a complete stranger? And what could I possibly have learned within the short amount of time that I had spent with her? The words escaped me faster than I could think about them. “I don't know you.”
She tensed at that, and I thought I could have struck a nerve.
“Just—leave me alone.” I turned my back on her without hesitation and stormed past a line of tents, quickly cutting her off from view. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care. I only put one foot in front of the other to match the pulsing rhythm in my ears. Olivia had been nothing but patient with me, but she should have known that she had gone too far by keeping the truth about Knox from me. I wanted to hold everything there was to know about Emma. I
needed
to. The thought of someone keeping me apart from the witch that lived in my dreams was unbearable.
I continued my directionless march through lines of tents and trampled, dead grass until I practically ran into someone face first as soon as I crossed a corner. I looked up to see a middle aged, heavyset man with unkempt hair pull a younger woman by the arms while she begged for him to stop. They fought against each other, but he easily over powered her and practically dragged her across the grass in between tents. The idea of a confrontation silently drew my body closer like the odorless scent of a pheromone.
A few curious eyes pattered around to look, but nobody did anything. All they did was watch. I couldn't understand how they could all stand so idle while others struggled right in front of them. It pissed me off even more. The words fell out louder than they should have. “What are you doing?” I could see heads start to turn my way, but the asshole barely paid me any attention.
“We're fine.” He continued to pull the woman along and I could make out the soft blemishes of spent makeup just above her cheeks as she passed. She had been crying.
“HEY.” I got in front of their way again, this time already deciding a split second in advance that I wouldn't be moving. “She doesn't look fine.”
They both took a second to look at me, one scared and the other angry. The latter made it worse for himself. “Mind your own goddamn business.” He put a hand against my shoulder to push me away and I immediately flung my fist straight up into his face as hard as I could. A subtle
crack
rolled across my knuckles and he backpedaled while putting a hand up to his mouth. I had either broken his nose or did something else that would have explained the pain in my hand, but I didn't bother to look.
He set off a steady string of curses while blood began to pour over his fingers, his words nasally and muffled underneath his hands. “You bitch! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Me?
I could barely believe he had the audacity to ask something so hypocritical. I took a step closer even as he showed no sign of advancing and the woman tried pulling me away. I pawed at him and instantly felt like I was stepping up to Kyle again. “Leave her the fuck alone.” I tried to get closer when the woman got in the way and shouted at me in between the streams that ran down her face. I couldn't believe she was defending him.
I pushed her away and she tripped over her own feet to fall ass first onto the ground. As soon as I had turned back, the man stepped forward and somehow straightened his back so that I was looking up at him again.
He took his hand off his nose and I could just make out a small indentation amongst the blood. He was pissed. He was in pain and he wanted to hit me, but one quick glance at the formulating crowd around us made him think twice about it.
I didn't care anymore. Between Olivia, Emma, and him, I just wanted to see something burn. I wanted to let him have it, so I got up in his face. “You wanna hit a girl, asshole? Hit me. I fucking dare you.”
His eyebrows dropped at that. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Go ahead.” I pushed at his chest like a fly against a wall. “Hit me.”
He effortlessly shoved me away and I fell onto my back. “You're insane, you know that?”
I strained to get a hand underneath me. He was a lot stronger than I had realized, but the information had never reached my mind. The notion that he finally caused me any pain and fought back finally threw me over the edge. If he thought I was crazy, then I had no problem showing him the truth of the matter.
He turned away just as I got up and I yelled at him.
I caught him off guard and speared his body into the nearest tent. The canvas immediately came down and lengths of nylon wrapped up his arms well enough for me to clock him straight in the face again and again as I sat on his chest.
He tried to fight back, but the resistance quickly broke off as I kept the pressure on, his face gradually smearing underneath patches of red each time I connected him with my knuckles. I could start to feel my hands blister and warm as the skin began to tear off, but I absorbed the pain. The fire in my chest had long gone caught a flame while I forced air into my lungs and the motions through my arm no matter how much it hurt.
“ALRIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH!” A voice from behind us tried to pull me away by the shoulder, but it quickly ended as soon I flew my elbow back to stop at something hard. I heard another solid curse before the same person grabbed me by the waist to throw me off and onto the ground.
I looked up to see Martinez pull a hand away from his eye and a thick crowd that had somehow grown to encircle us. He was the last person I had been expecting to see.
He threw a finger at me. “STAY down, Tess.”
There was no way I would end up listening to him, not after I knew he had worked under Ryan's thumb. I got back up and tried running again when Martinez caught my arm and used the leverage to swing me down chest first. I struggled to breathe past the spent blades of grass in front of my face as he put his weight down into my back. I could feel my ribcage put up with the pressure until it was dwarfed by the sharp pain in my arm while it was forced behind my back and bent up towards my head.
“Are you gonna stay down now?”
I tried to thrash my body around in an effort pry him loose, but there was no way it would happen. He was heavier and stronger than me, and he had placed me into a solid arm lock that by now felt like my elbow was about to break open and introduce itself to the sky.
“Let’s go.” He pulled me back up and pushed me away from the scene, past the remaining prying eyes that still bothered to look while the rest of the crowd was quickly broken up, and I made sure to glare at them. If all they could do was watch, then they were no better than those that sat by from the start. Others looked away as soon as they saw me and it made me wonder if they were scared. They probably should have been.
I forced myself to go through with the march and realized the walk would be cut short as soon as Martinez turned and guided me towards another tent before pushing me inside. It looked similar to Hayes', although with a smaller table and nobody inside. I turned around to see Martinez step through, a soft patch of purple already swelling up underneath his eye from where I had hit him. He looked more annoyed than angry, but I questioned his motives once I saw his holstered sidearm. He could have led me somewhere secluded to easily finish the job that Ryan had started just a matter of days ago.
“What the hell do you think you're doing?”
The question caught me off guard. I hadn't expected his demeanor to change so suddenly once we became secluded from everyone else. It felt like he was scolding me.
He ran a hand over his face and took a breath. “Wait here.”
“Why?”
He glared at me but wouldn't answer. For some reason I had always thought that Martinez had been different than the rest of Ryan's men. Even now he didn't show any desire to hurt me any more than he had to. He put a hand on his hip and seemed to calm down a bit. “Look, I have no idea how the hell you got here, but these people are already pissed off enough at us without you stirring more shit into the pot. I have to make sure they get a good excuse before someone comes back down here to kick our ass.”
I thought about the truth behind the words. Olivia had said that nobody had wanted the people of Arrino to join the group. The stigma must have stuck after their arrival, which meant that I was only making things worse.
“So are you gonna wait or do I have to cuff you like the other guy?” He threw a thumb over his shoulder. “'Cuz I'm sure he ain't getting' the same treatment as you.”
I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but he must have taken my silence as an answer.
“Don't move.” He walked back out and left me to myself before I could ask any more questions.
I wasn't sure of what to do. I could have easily left, but if what he had said was true, then I would only be doing more harm than good showing myself in public. I looked around the immediate surroundings and walked up to the table to see papers and a map of the county strewn out on top. I may not have been in Hayes' tent, but whoever it belonged to must have been in charge of something. I picked up a random sheet and watched it shake until I absentmindedly put a hand to my wrist and winced when I grazed my knuckles.
The entire back side of my hand was torn and red and shook uncontrollably as I tried to hold it up. Now that the excitement was gone, the pain came in and flushed itself throughout the entire extremity. I tried not to think about how long I would have to deal with it when someone spoke up from behind.
“It feels good, doesn't it?”
I turned back around and my heart skipped a beat. I had to swallow the sudden knot in my throat. “What?”
Jeremy took another step into the tent and crossed his arms. “Beating the shit out of someone you think deserves it.” He still had the same faded marks on his face from where he had been beaten and he was still a little too skinny, but he looked better—and cleaner. A light colored collared shirt rested on his frame with his sleeves pulled up to his forearms, while the rest fell down above a holstered revolver on his leg. He looked good. Better.
I took him in for a moment, unsure of what to say, though part of me realized that this was the real Jeremy that I had never seen—clean hair, clean clothes, armed and in charge. I could feel my stomach flutter while I wondered what he thought of me now. I had left him back in Arrino. All I had wanted to do then was to inflict pain and now I had gotten caught in the same act again. I thought back about the man I had just beaten. “Nobody was doing anything.”