Authors: Anne Leclaire
“No.”
“No more questions.”
Faye smiled at me as she left the stand.
“Mr. Nelson,” Judge Savage said, “do you have any further witnesses you wish to call?”
“No, Your Honor. At this time, the commonwealth rests.”
Then Judge Savage checked her watch and, following her usual instructions to the jury, adjourned until the morning, when Gage would begin his defense.
I
WAITED
inside the courthouse for Irene, Lily at my side, who was fuming at the protesters gathered outdoors. Dirt-eating vultures, she said, fierce and protective on my behalf. They raise my blood. For a moment, I feared Lily would storm into the parking lot and confront them, but Gage hurried us along to the cars and we escaped without incident.
Lily and I followed the routine of the previous afternoon. We stopped for groceries on the way to the carriage house, and then changed out of our court clothes and headed out to the bay, walking until we were forced to return by a darkness that fell earlier each day. This evening we shared no confidences, no talk of death. We ate on trays in front of the fireplace, a scene so comfortably domestic, it struck me as absurdly normal given the circumstances. We didn't discuss the events of the courtroom until we had finished dinner and had poured the brandy. With Lily's arrival, my self-imposed monasticism had come to an end.
“At least Nelson is finished with the prosecution,” I said. I was unutterably relieved that this part of the trial was over.
“Faye certainly didn't do you any favors,” Lily said.
“I thought she was strong. The jury liked her.”
“That isn't the point. The one the jury needs to like is you.”
“Actually, Mama, what they need to do is find me not guilty.”
“Well, Faye could have been more of a help.”
“She just told the truth, Mama. What else could she have said?”
“She could have fought for you.”
“I think she did fight for me. I don't know why you're on her case, anyway, Mama. She's been good to me this year.”
“And what have you given her?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don't think Faye gives anything without expecting something in return.”
“You're wrong. Besides, what in the world do I have that Faye could want?”
“Good question. I've wondered that all winter,” Lily said.
“You don't like her,” I said, surprised by this sudden realization.
Lily didn't answer.
“Why?” I pressed. “What has Faye ever done to you?”
Lily stared into the fire. “Some people don't change.”
“Mama, Faye has been wonderful to me. She's treated me like a daughter.”
“Exactly,” Lily said.
“Meaning what?”
“She takes what she wants.”
“I don't understand.”
“She always wanted children, you know.”
I stared at her. “What? Are you jealous of Faye?”
Lily gazed at the fire.
“That's crazy,” I said.
“After your daddy died,” Lily said, “I always felt I failed you.”
“How could you think that?”
“You and Lowell always had a special relationship.”
“Like you and Ashley,” I said.
Lily ignored this. “I wanted to reach out to you, but after he died, I didn't know how. So, yes, I guess I am jealous of Faye.”
“But why?”
“She's taught you things this year, things I should have. She's mothered you in a way I couldn't.”
“She's just been a friend, Mama. That's all.”
Lily splashed more brandy in her glass, held the bottle toward me.
“I'd better not. Tomorrow Gage is putting me on the stand.”
Lily read the fear in my voice. “You'll do fine, Jessie.”
“I don't know.”
“You will. Just sit tall and proud, like your daddy taught you. Tell the truth.”
I swallowed. The room had turned dark, but I didn't switch on a lamp, welcoming the dark. “The truth,” I said.
“Yes.”
I looked through the shadows at Lily. “The truth is, I lied, Mama.”
Lily set her glass down, drew a breath. “Tell me,” she said.
I searched my mama's face. “I lied. To the police.”
She waited for me to go on.
“I lied when I told them Luke never mentioned suicide. He wanted to die.”
“He told you this?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Did he tell you he intended to take an overdose?”
“Oh, Mama, it was awful at the end. He was wasting away. He said he didn't want to go like that. He said he had it planned. He had a bottle of Seconal. And something to take to avoid vomiting.”
“Jessie, why didn't you tell this to the police?”
I shrugged. “I don't know. I guess I wanted to protect Nona. He didn't want her to know. I don't think it ever occurred to him there would be an investigation. Why would there be? He was dying.”
“Does Gage know this? Or Faye?”
“No. I didn't tell anyone.”
“Well, now you have to.”
“Do you think anyone will believe me? They'll think I'm making it up to save my skin.”
“Jessie Lynn, tomorrow you get on that stand and you tell the truth.”
The truth. I searched Lily's face. Was anyone ever prepared to face the truth?
G
AGE OPENED THE
defense by calling Rich. He looked uncomfortable as he made his way to the stand. He was dressed in the same suit he'd worn to Luke's funeral.
“Please state and spell your name for the court.”
“Richard Eldredge. E-l-d-r-e-d-g-e.”
“What is your occupation?”
“I own a landscape business.”
“Please tell the court where you live.”
“Chatham, Massachusetts.”
“Mr. Eldredge, were you acquainted with Luke Ryder?”
“Yes, I was.”
“What was your relationship?”
“We were friends.”
“Good friends?”
“Yes. I'd say Luke was one of my best friends.”
“Please tell the court how long you had been friends.”
Rich paused, considered. “Ever since Luke moved to Chatham. Twenty-three years. I was best man at his wedding.”
“Had you seen Luke in recent months?”
“Yes.”
“How many times?”
“Twice. Maybe three times.”
“You were good friends, best friends, and you only saw him a few times?”
“Well, I wanted to.”
“But you didn't?”
“You have to understand. When he got really sick, he didn't want to see his friends.”
“He was clear about that?”
Rich nodded. “Well, at first, he'd still drive around town, go down to the shore, look me up where I was doing a job, but after he got real bad, he stayed pretty much at home.” He looked over at the jury. “I don't think Luke wanted people to see him like he was.”
“How was that?”
“He looked pretty bad, you know?”
“No, Mr. Eldredge. I don't know. Please tell us.”
“Well, he'd lost a lot of weight. He was real thin. And sickly looking. Yellow. I think he was kind of embarrassed. He'd been so strong.”
“Now, shortly before he died, you had occasion to see Luke twice, is that correct?”
Rich nodded.
“I need a yes or no, Mr. Eldredge.”
“Yes.”
“Please tell the jury about the first of those two times.”
“Well, I was stopping by to check on Nona. I tried to do that about once a week. See if there was anything I could do to help her out, pick up the trash for her, that kind of thing. When I pulled up, Luke was in front of the house. He was getting out of Jessie's car.”
“You are referring to Jessie Long?” Gage gestured to where I sat.
“Yes.”
“And what, if anything, happened next?”
“He was sick, puking on the lawn.”
“Anything else?”
Rich looked down, embarrassed. “And he… he shit his—”
Judge Savage cleared her throat.
Rich reddened. “Excuse me, Your Honor. I mean he, you know, defecated in his pants.”
“Outside? On the lawn?”
“Yes. I mean, he was trying to make it to the house but couldn't.”
“Did you help him?”
“No. There was someone there with him, helping him. And it was pretty clear he didn't want me there, you know, seeing him like that. I know I would be. I mean, Christ, shitting himself like that.”
“And did you see him after that?”
“Yes. A couple of days later, he called and asked if I would come over.”
“He called you, after not wanting to see you for months?”
“Yes. He asked if I'd come over.”
“Did he say why he wanted to see you?”
“Yes. After I got there, he told me he wanted me to take Rocker for him.”
“Rocker was his dog?”
“Yes.”
“Did he say why?”
“He didn't have to.”
“Why was that?”
“Well, earlier in the winter, when he knew what was wrong with him, he asked me if I'd take Rocker for him after he died. He was real worried about that dog, ya know? He didn't want it going to Animal Rescue or anything.”
“You mean after he died?”
“Yes.”
“So he was making arrangements for his death?”
Nelson leaped up.
“Withdrawn,” Gage said. “No more questions.”
“M
R.
E
LDREDGE,
” Nelson began on cross, “you have given testimony that you were one of Luke Ryder's best friends.”
“Yes.”
“So close he trusted you with his dog?”
“He gave him to me, yes.”
“And did your close friend ever once mention any intention of wanting to end his life?”
“No.”
“Did he in any way hint that he planned on taking an overdose?”
“No.”
“Not even the day when he asked you to take his dog?”
“No.”
“Mr. Eldredge, are you familiar with the defendant?”
“Like I said, I've seen her at Luke's.”
“Is that all?”
“Maybe a couple of times around town.”
“Please tell the jury where you have seen her.”
He hesitated. “Well, I saw her once at the Squire.”
“That would be a bar in town?”
“Yeah. A bar and restaurant.”
“And please tell the jury the nature of your relationship with the defendant.”
“I just knew who she was.”
“Didn't you have a romantic involvement with the defendant?”
Rich glanced at me. “No.”
“Did you ever have a date with her?”
“No.”
“Mr. Eldredge, remembering you are under oath, please tell the jury if you ever remember kissing the defendant.”
I felt my cheeks grow hot, regretted that Lily was there, sitting behind me. Was she remembering the times she'd accused me of kissing anything that would stand still?
“It was just the once. I guess we'd both had a little too much to drink.”
Paige, I realized. I now understood the queer smile of triumph.
“C
ALL YOUR
next witness,” Judge Savage told Gage after Rich left the stand.
Gage turned toward me, smiled. “The defense calls Jessica Long.”
I had taken a Xanax, but it might as well have been an aspirin the way my heart was pounding. My palms were slick with sweat. As I crossed to the witness stand, my knees trembled.
“Please tell the court your name.”
“Jessie Long,” I said. “Jessica Lynn Long.”
“Where do you currently reside?”
“Harwich Port, Massachusetts.”
“And before that?”
“In Virginia. Richmond, Virginia.”
“Please tell the court your occupation.”
“Well, I make jewelry. And I'm a schoolteacher.”
“What do you teach?”
“High school art.”
“Do you like teaching?” Gage was smiling at me, his voice friendly, curious.
“Yes.”
“What do you like about it?”
“The students. I really like the students.”
“Now please tell the court if you are currently employed.”
“No. I'm not presently teaching.”
Methodically, Gage led me through the questions that we had reviewed during pretrial preparations. This is your chance to gain the jury's sympathy, he'd told me. Make them imagine that it could be one of their daughters up there. I told the jury about my job being downsized, about moving to the Cape for the year, about how I had come to volunteer for hospice, about the training. He led me finally to the first day I had gone to Luke's home. I told the jury about staying with Luke while Nona went out.
“How did you feel about Nona?” Gage asked.
I looked over to the seats directly behind the table where Nelson sat with two assistant DAs. Nona and Paige stared up at me.
“I loved Nona.”
“And Luke?”
I fell silent.
“Jessie.”
“I cared about Luke. Of course.”
“Jessie, we have heard the state's witnesses testify that your fingerprints were found on medicine vials in Luke Ryder's home. Do you have any explanation for that?”
I remembered Gage's cross-examination of the detective, his suggestion that I might have moved the bottles while straightening up the kitchen. I looked over at Lily. Tell the truth, my mama had said.
“Yes,” I said. “A couple of times, when Luke was in pain, he asked me to get his medication for him.”
“And you did?”
“Yes.”
“Even though you had been told volunteers weren't supposed to?”
“Yes.” I turned to the jury. “He was in pain. It didn't make any sense. Why should he have to wait around for someone who was allowed to give it to him? I'd do it again, if I had to.”
Gage nodded. “Now, Jessie, in the last days of Luke's life, during the hours that you spent alone together, did he confide in you?”
“Yes.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He told me he was ready to die. He said he wanted to die, that he'd saved some pills. He showed me where he kept them. In the bottom drawer of a desk.”
Paige shot to her feet. “She's lying.”
Judge Savage rapped her gavel. Nelson turned and motioned for Paige to sit down.
“Any further outbursts and I'll have you removed from the courtroom,” Judge Savage said to Paige. “Is that clear?”
Paige nodded, sat down.
Gage ignored this interchange. He swept his hand through the air, a theatrical gesture. “Luke Ryder was dying. We have heard his
own doctor testify he had only weeks, perhaps days, to live. Why would he choose to take his life?”