The Optician's Wife (8 page)

When all the dishes were clean Larry kissed his mum on the cheek and told her we were going for a walk. I was disappointed I didn’t get to see his bedroom. I thought he’d be eager to show me. But he seemed distracted and we left the house, never saying goodbye to Mr Miller.

‘Sorry about that.’ Larry rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. ‘Let’s go to the cemetery.’

I’d never really visited that part of the town before. There had never been any need. We followed the pavement until we came to a small path on the other side of the street.

‘Come on,’ Larry grabbed my hand and pulled me along.

I was expecting a small churchyard but what I saw was something very different. It was a large open green space with long grass and a few wild flowers, interspersed with headstones. We walked for a while hand in hand silently looking at the names of people long gone.

‘I think we shouldn’t have a big wedding.’ Larry stopped by one of the graves and bent down on his heels so he could read the stone. ‘Look at this, Dee, a husband and wife buried together. That’s nice.’

I stood awkwardly, my shorts feeling even tighter since consuming a large helping of roast dinner.

‘We won’t do it in a church. I’m not religious and you’re not either, are you?’

‘My mum was Catholic, but lapsed. So no, I’m not.’

‘We’ll go to the registry office and do it there. I’ll go in the week and see when they can fit us in.’

‘I think we need to tell our parents first before we make any plans.’ The reality of telling my dad was dawning on me and I was wondering what had stopped Larry mentioning it at lunch, like he’d said he would.

‘I’ll tell Mum tomorrow before I go to work. I think she’s had an argument with dad and I don’t want to get in the middle of it.’ He stood up and kissed me on the nose. ‘You can tell your dad when you get home.’

‘You’re not going to be there with me when I tell him?’ I was horrified.

‘I don’t think it would be a good idea if the first time I meet him is when we announce our engagement,’ he laughed. ‘Much better if you tell him first and then introduce us.’

‘OK,’ I agreed meekly.

‘Oh, and next week speak to your manager and see if you can get more shifts. We need to start saving.’

‘I suppose we do. Weddings are probably expensive.’

‘Not for the wedding.’ Larry was laughing at me and I felt foolish. ‘We need to save for somewhere to live. We can’t stay living with our parents.’

‘No, I suppose not.’ I hadn’t made that leap yet. It hadn’t occurred to me. Everything was happening so quickly.

She was pretty, that was for sure. I’d seen her about. Flirting with all the men, like she didn’t have a care in the world. It made me sick. She would be my second. I knew that the minute I laid eyes on her. This time I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I had a plan. She was going to be punished. I would see to that.

The afternoon I’d spotted her I’d followed her home. She worked in the centre but lived off Barton Road to the southwest of the city, in a little place on Hardwick Street. She wasn’t very old, probably in her early twenties, and lived in what appeared to be a shared house.

On that day I finished work and walked straight through the town. It was dark so early and that gave me an advantage. I knew the way she went home on her bike. She cycled through the town and cut across Lammas Land, that large grassy area where homosexuals meet in the bushes at night to do their filthy acts.

That evening I found myself lingering behind a large shrub waiting for my opportunity. I didn’t have to wait long before I saw her tootling along the path on her bike. I stepped out from the bushes and waited for her to get closer. I began to walk so that we were both heading in the same direction. In my right hand I gripped a thick stick I’d found beneath a bush. The path was nice and narrow and so the moment I heard her approaching me from behind I readied myself. From my peripheral vision I caught a glimpse of her passing and just at the right moment I swung the stick with all my might sending it crashing into her skull. She went flying off her bike and ended up in a heap on the ground a few feet away.

It was dark but it was still early evening so I had to act quickly. She groaned on the grass, trying to sit up. I sat on top of her and punched her repeatedly until she wasn’t moving. Despite the fact is was freezing cold she’d chosen to wear a short denim skirt. Slut. Quickly I pulled if off of her and wrapped it tightly around her neck and twisted the fabric. Eventually I heard a pop in her spine and she was gone.

I removed the penknife I’d brought with me from my trouser pocket and set to work on her eyes. I had to work fast. There was no time to prolong things with her. After her eyes were removed, I dragged her half-naked body to the edge of the river and pushed her in.

Then I calmly returned to her buckled bike and wheeled it into the bushes. It was like she was never there. I straightened my clothes and casually made my way home.

We were married in August 1983. It was a low-key affair. From my side Dad, Dawn, Aunt Mary, her husband and kids came. When I told Trisha, at work, she was so excited I ended up inviting her. Her brown eyes shone with excitement and her bosom jiggled up and down as she hopped on the spot with delight. She appointed herself my maid of honour and insisted on coming dress shopping with me.

Dad’s reaction took me by surprise. He was normally so damning but in that instance he said it was time I grew up and moved out. I realised he was pleased that I was no longer his responsibility. It freed up more money for beer.

Dawn has been shocked. The look of her face was priceless. When it sank in she, too, was pleased. It meant she would have our bedroom all to herself.

Larry’s parents and brother were at the ceremony along with his boss from work and an old school friend who I’d never met before.

I wore a beige crêpe crochet lace maxi dress Trisha picked out at the charity shop. To begin with she was horrified I wasn’t going to buy a new dress. But I explained we needed to save money to afford a home. I told her I didn’t want to wear white. Larry said it was wrong since I wasn’t a virgin. I didn’t tell her that.

Trisha insisted we went into a florist to order a bouquet. I told her that it seemed like a waste of money but she said I’d already cut too many corners.

‘You only get married once,’ she said. She helped me to choose some pink roses. I was carried away by her enthusiasm.

Larry looked so handsome that day. He wore a dark blue pinstripe suit he bought from Debenhams, with a white shirt and black tie.

We were married in the morning at the Shire Hall register office and went to a pub down the road from the council offices for lunch. Dad got drunk and offended Larry’s mum and Dawn flirted outrageously with Larry’s brother. He lapped it up and that annoyed me.

We didn’t really have a honeymoon. Larry’s mum was very kind: she insisted we should spend our first night as a married couple together and booked us into a smart hotel in the city centre. Clearly she was desperate for a grandchild.

A week after the wedding we moved into a two-bed, on Gunhild Way in the south of the city. I couldn’t believe it when Dad offered to help us with the rental deposit. I was grateful even though he couldn’t disguise his pleasure at getting rid of me.

The house was sparsely furnished with old cheap furniture but I didn’t care. It was home. Over the months I did my best to make it look nice and welcoming. I bought knick-knacks and furniture from junk shops and Larry would restore them. I discovered he was good with tools and a paintbrush.

Larry was still a trainee optometrist and would take his final exam in the autumn. I was so impressed and proud of him. He was happy working at Rook’s. Mr Rook was a great mentor, Larry said.

Another body was found in the river. I heard about it from Trisha at work.

‘You know they dragged another body from the river yesterday?’ She was loving the drama.

‘No I didn’t know. What happened?’

‘A young woman apparently. Found in Grantchester Meadows by some kids bunking off school. One of them was my friend’s friend’s little sister and apparently the body was really beaten up.’ She moved closer and whispered. ‘The eyes were missing.’

‘How horrible.’

‘It’s like something out of a film, isn’t it,’ she mused. ‘I’m going there after work.’

‘Where?’

‘To the site of course. Apparently there’s loads of police and it’s all taped off, but I’d like to see the action. It’s quite exciting really.’

I didn’t share her enjoyment.

‘Do they know who she is?’

‘Apparently but they haven’t come out and said yet. I suppose they need to tell the family and stuff first.’ She picked at her chipped purple nail varnish. ‘Do you want to come with me?’

‘No thanks. I’ve got to get home to make Larry’s dinner. He loves it when I cook for him. Says my food is almost as good as his mum’s.’

‘Proper little wife, aren’t you.’

The next day it was all over the news. Journalists were speculating that there was a serial killer on the prowl. The police refused to comment on the possibility. All over the city people were talking about it. There was fear in the air and people were being cautious with strangers.

The victim was a woman called Jane Shanks, aged twenty-two. She had worked in a record shop. Her parents had reported her missing two days earlier when she didn’t come home. The officer on the case said women should remain vigilant and not to walk alone after dark.

That evening Larry told me he knew Jane. ‘Yeah, I knew her. She worked in the record place on Bridge Street. I go in there to browse albums sometimes. She was really nice. Friendly girl, always happy to stop and talk.’

‘When did you last see her?’

‘A few weeks ago, I think. Popped in one day after work.’

‘I didn’t know you liked music that much.’

‘As much as the next person.’ He chewed his dinner. ‘How come you are so interested all of a sudden?’ Larry pushed the peas around his plate with his fork.

‘Just sad what happened to her.’ I didn’t have much of an appetite and slid my plate away.

‘Something wrong?’ he stopped eating and put his fork down. ‘You don’t seem yourself.’

‘Was just thinking about her. That’s all.’

‘It’s not nice but there’s nothing to worry about.’

‘I know that. It’s the idea of her being in that freezing cold water.’

‘She was naked apparently.’

‘Naked? Had he hurt her?’ I hadn’t heard that before. ‘How do you know?’

‘Overheard a conversation between Mr Rook and a customer. He works with the police. Had some inside information.’ He picked up his fork and shovelled some pie into his mouth. ‘She had been strangled with her own skirt. It was still around her neck when they pulled her from the river. They think it’s linked to Ms Faulks. Similar wounds or something like that he said.’

‘A serial killer?’

‘That’s pretty much what he said.’ A piece of mushroom was stuck in his white teeth.

‘Did he say anything else?’ My stomach felt like a washing machine and I suddenly felt very sick.

‘Like what?’

‘Oh I don’t know. Did he talk about suspects or evidence or anything like that?’

‘Nah, he didn’t. It’s not like you to ask so many questions. Why are you so interested?’

‘Well, I mean, you know if there’s someone going round killing women,’

‘Hey. No one’s going to hurt my girl.’ Larry winked. ‘You’re safe with me.’

I discovered I was pregnant in April of 1984. Larry was over the moon but I was shocked. We hadn’t been using protection but we hadn’t been trying either. It wasn’t something we’d discussed. But Larry had a way of making even bad news seem good. ‘Change is good,’ he would say. My purpose in life was to make him happy. He was my world.

For the first few months the morning sickness was debilitating. I had to take time off work and Stuart, my supervisor, was less than understanding.

Larry’s mother was thrilled. Linda was longing to be a grandmother. I was pleased to be able to give her a grandchild but not that happy when she started to turn up at the house more and more often, with gifts and suggestions.

She had always been very respectful and never interfered before. The news that I was expecting seemed to send her into overdrive. With hindsight, I believe she saw it as a good excuse to spend less and less time at home with her husband. They were having problems. Big problems.

Jim Miller had been suspended from his teaching position after an allegation of inappropriate behaviour with a student. The thirteen-year old girl had complained to her parents that Mr Miller had come on to her. Jim denied it but the school had no option but to suspend him while they investigated her claims. After this all came out Larry confided in me that his father had left the last school under a similar cloud. Jim Miller would never get a job in education again.

Poor Linda, who was a good honest woman, had moved out of their marital bedroom and into the room Larry left vacant. It turned out that our wedding was a blessing for a number of reasons.

I asked Larry if he thought his parents would divorce. He didn’t know but it was clear then that he disliked his dad. Finally, I understood where all the tension in the family stemmed from.

By September I was really beginning to show. I’d always been overweight but now my stomach was bigger than ever before. I loved the feeling of my baby moving around inside of me. I would talk to my bump for hours, stroking my belly.

Until then my sex life with Larry had been extremely active but the moment he discovered I was pregnant he refused to touch me. It was as if I was made of glass. I couldn’t help but feel neglected and unattractive. As the months passed he came home later and later. I knew he couldn’t be at work. Mr Rook kept very strict hours and the moment half-past five arrived the shutters came down. I used to wonder where Larry went. Every night I made his dinner and sat at our dining table waiting for him in vain. I didn’t understand what had changed. I loved him and he was the most important thing in my life.