The Pledge (37 page)

“But why do you have to stop coming to parties?”

I took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I hurt Alec today, Jules. I did something I wasn’t comfortable with because I didn’t want to let you all down. Agreeing to do the obstacle course with Pickles was a huge mistake. He’ll never respect me or my relationship with Alec. Alec saw the way Pickles touched me, and he heard the commentary you made. That gutted him, and he didn’t deserve to feel that way. I love him.”

“He was hurt? I didn’t mean anything by what I said; I was just having fun. Wait a minute. Did you say you love him?”

The corners of my lips lifted. I should be beaming at the thought of loving Alec Hart, but I was worried I might have blown my chances with him after today. “I love him so much, and I fucked up. I really hurt him. I should have withdrawn from the race as soon as I realized Pickles was my partner. I should’ve known better.”

“I’m sorry you felt pressured to do something you didn’t want to. I might get on your ass about things, but you know we’re friends no matter how many parties you go to or how many events you do. We’re sisters. Always.”

I smiled. “Yes we are.”

“And I love you because you accept me for who I am, flaws and all. You never, for one second, make me feel less than.” She wrapped her bony arms around me in a tight hug. Every time I tried to pull away, she squeezed me tighter, causing both of us to laugh.

“I have to go. Alec is expecting me to be at his show.”

“Fine.” She pulled away, planting a kiss on my cheek before releasing me. “Apologize to him for me?”

“I will.” I stood up, checking my watch and groaning. “Shit, I’m late. I’m going to have to run like hell to get there.”

“Go.” Julie stood up and placed her hand on my back, pushing me forward. I waved as I ran down the steps of Delta Epsilon.

Knowing I had the support of my sisters to be who I wanted to be was empowering, but the time had come to listen to my heart. I needed Alec to understand just how much I loved him.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

ALEC

The arena was full of excited voices and last minute sound and light checks. We only had an hour until show time. I should have been excited. I should have been warming up. I should have been thinking about my acts and all the new skills I’d added in the last few weeks. Instead, all I could think about was Pickles and Taren. Images of Pickles touching her ass, picking her up, and joking with her like they were still a couple tormented me. Thoughts of Pickles kissing what was mine drove me insane.

I couldn’t focus.

“Hey.” Caz patted me on the shoulder. “Help me carry this mat over to the beam. The girls need to warm up.”

I followed him over to high bar and picked up the other end of the heavy mat. My muscles strained as we lugged the mat across the floor, but we didn’t speak. My thoughts were on a continual loop.

I didn’t know you’d be doing your ex.

Christ. If there was an award for asshole boyfriend of the year, I’d won it with that comment. Taren had promised to come to our show tonight, but I hadn’t talked to her since I finished my security shift at Greek Week two hours ago.

Was she upset over our argument? Was she drinking? Was she with Pickles?

We set the mat down next to the beam, unfolded it, and pushed it underneath.

“Thanks,” Amanda said.

I gave her a terse nod and turned away.

Amanda grabbed my elbow. “What’s wrong? You look upset.”

I looked down at where her hand rested on my arm. Where Taren had touched me. “I’m fine.”

“Hey.” Amanda’s voice softened. “You can tell me what’s wrong. We’re friends.”

The sound that came out of me was meant to be a laugh, but it was bitter and tired. “It’s not anything I want to talk about.”

Amanda sighed. “Is this about Taren? You can talk to me. I’ll understand. Don’t let this come between us.”

“Nothing is coming between us, Amanda. We’re partners. That’s it. There’s nothing to come between.”

“Is she coming tonight?”

“Of course Donuts is coming.” Caz shoved between us as he walked away from the beam. “We saved her a seat right up front. Even got some for those hotties she’s always hanging with.” Caz indicated the four seats in the front row that we put reserved signs on—one for my cousin and the other three for Taren and her friends.

“I’m sure she’ll be here.” Amanda rubbed my arm like she was trying to comfort me.

Amanda couldn’t possibly understand. Taren and I were being pulled in two different directions. If today was any indication, we might never be heading the same way. Her obligations to her Greek life had taken priority over our relationship.

My phone rang, and I pulled it out of my back pocket. When I saw the name on the screen, my chest clenched with disappointment. Instead of Taren’s name, it was my cousin’s.

“Hey, Lee.” I walked away from the beam and stared at the four empty seats I had reserved. “You still coming to my show?”

“You forgot to give me my ticket. I am waiting outside.”

“Ah. Sorry, bro.” I’d been so distracted I forgot to put his ticket at will call. “I’ll be up in a minute to let you in.”

I slid my phone in my back pocket and jogged up the stadium steps to find Lee. He was outside by the ticket booth, examining the Testudo statue near the stadium entrance.

“This is just like the one on the McKeldin Mall.” He touched the nose of the turtle, and the spot under his hand was a bright, polished, golden color from being touched so often.

“Yeah, there are a couple on campus. It’s apparently good luck if you rub the nose,” I told him. I reached up to run my hand across the statue. Superstition or not, it was a habit all UMD students followed.

“You don’t need luck.” Lee’s smile was brilliant, as usual—a permanent fixture on his face.

“Everyone needs luck.”

Lee shook his head. “Nope. You just need to make the right choices.”

***

The overhead lights flickered, announcing to the audience that the show was about to start. I pulled out my phone to text Lee.

Me: Is Taren here yet?

Lee: Not yet.

Was she really going to be a fucking no-show?
We hadn’t parted on good terms, but she said she’d see me tonight. I assumed that meant she was still coming to the show.

Me: Can you text me when she gets here?

Lee: Okay.

Tossing my phone onto my bag of costumes, I paced back and forth. I ran my hand through my hair, rubbing the back of my neck.

What if she got caught up in the fun at the talent show and after-party and drank too much? I wouldn’t be there to take care of her.

But Pickles would.

I found myself over by the curtain, pulling it back to check the front row myself. Lee was playing with his phone, next to three empty seats.

“Dude. You’ve got to stop obsessing about this.” Jon put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me away from the curtain. “If you don’t get your head in the game, you’re gonna mess up big time. You can’t afford to be thinking about anything but the show. It’s dangerous.”

“I know.”

“Your warm-up sucked major donkey balls,” Caz added. “Vaulting is first up and we’re depending on you. You’re middle man.” He referred to the fact that I flipped between him and Jon during the alternating runs in the flipping passes.

Caz and Jon’s words were a reminder that my actions not only affected me, but everyone else in the performance. We depended on each other’s timing, strength, and skill to stay safe. They were right. I needed to get my head in the game.

“Have you called her to see where she is?” Jon asked.

“Yeah. No answer.” I could only think of two reasons why she wasn’t answering. Either she couldn’t, or she wouldn’t. Either way, my chest felt like it was in a fucking vice grip, and I wasn’t sure whether I should be worried or pissed.

“She probably just lost track of time. She’ll be here.” Jon smacked me on the back as he walked away. Caz followed him, but not before I saw the look on his face. Pity.

I picked up my phone and checked it again.

No new messages. I tossed the phone back on my bag.

If she meant what she said about trust and me being her now, then why the fuck couldn’t she take the time to call me? Why wasn’t she here yet?

When the lights finally went out, the darkness that blanketed the arena went soul deep. I heard Coach begin his introductions over the speaker system, and I went to join the rest of the Acroletes. I stood in line, watching the glow of my phone from afar until it blinked out.

***

The music was loud. I could feel the beat of it coursing through my body. The noise usually fed my adrenaline, forcing me to run harder, jump higher, twist faster. Tonight everything was muddled by my thoughts as if I was wading through tar. My body remembered the tempo and speed, but I didn’t feel the exhilaration that I normally got from performing. I felt thin and empty. Splintered.

The lights along the front of the stage were bright. But somehow I knew those seats just beyond the edge of the darkness were still empty. I couldn’t shake the worry that maybe Taren
couldn’t
come, that I hadn’t been there when she needed me.

I felt a smack on the back of my head. “Head in the game,” Caz said as he peeled away, running for the other side of the stage.

We were in two lines, ready to alternate our flipping passes. I looked across to the line Jon and Caz were in, waiting for my turn. Jon nodded at me and then started running toward the vault box and his mini trampoline. I waited a second and then ran after him, heading for my own mini trampoline. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Caz following behind him. I had a split second of perfect timing to squeeze between them. We’d been doing this all year. It was almost second nature.

As I leapt for the trampoline, I knew something was wrong. Jon was already landing on the mat. I was too late. Caz was hitting his trampoline at the same time as me. I’d been running too slowly. Panic slammed me back into reality, and the haziness was gone as my heart hammered with perfect clarity.

We both shot into the air at the same time. Bailing was no longer an option. My only choice was to go through with it like a NASCAR driver and hope we could avoid crashing in mid-air. I threw my flip, aware that Coach was yelling my name. I could sense Caz rocketing toward me.

We slammed into each other, two cannonballs of flesh and bone. The force of Caz’s rotation was like getting hit with a wrecking ball. I was rocked off course, my arms and legs leaving my tight tuck as I reached out for safety. Spotters lunged for me, grabbing for my shirt or leg or anything they could hold onto as I soared over their heads.

I saw Caz tumble to the mat in the grasp of two spotters, and in that split second, I was relieved. I careened away from the safety of my own mat toward the floor. I tried to get my feet under me, but only one foot touched down before it buckled with a loud pop. Pain lanced along my leg as I crashed onto the hardwood and my body crumpled like a crushed can. I couldn’t stop my momentum, and my head snapped back, slamming against the floor. Light burst across my eyes in a blinding flash of agony before my vision went dark.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

TAREN

Crap, fuck, hell, shit, dammit.
My heart beat wild in my chest. I was so screwed. Pausing, I checked my phone to text Alec that I was running late. The stupid battery was dead. I ran my hands through my hair, pulling at the ends. I had to haul ass. I pumped my legs, pushing myself to run faster. My life was quickly becoming a shit storm of epic proportions.

I panted, gasping for air. Sweat trickled down my back and my side ached. Damn, I was out of shape. Marathons were definitely not in my future.

With the Xfinity Center in sight, I slowed my sprint to a walk and tried to catch my breath. The sound of sirens echoed nearby. Flashing lights and emergency vehicles were in front of the building.

Shit, shit, shit.
My lungs tightened like they were being squeezed. Something bad had to have occurred at the show. Panic slid through my veins, turning my blood ice cold. Ignoring the pain in my chest, I sprinted toward the entrance.

“Taren!” Jon called my name and waved me toward him.

Why was Jon outside? I whipped my head around. A crowd of people were standing outside in Acroletes uniforms. Shouldn’t they be in the middle of their performance? Where was Alec?

A paramedic slammed the back doors to the ambulance shut, and it sped away. I stood frozen, watching the flashing lights against the dark sky. A chill ran through my body and my heart sank.

“What happened? Who got hurt?” I gasped for air. “Where’s Alec?” I looked around and recognized a few faces, but not the one I wanted to see.

Amanda was standing next to Jon. Her lips curled and her face twisted. “Alec and Caz got hurt.” She spoke through gritted teeth.

No.
My stomach rolled, and a wave of nausea hit me. “Oh my God.” I turned toward Jon as my hand flew toward my mouth. “How bad are they hurt? Is Alec okay?”