Authors: Tricia Goyer
“Oh, Grace.”
Grace held up a hand, and Lydia knew. Grace didn’t want her sympathy. Grace wanted
to be heard. “I didn’t believe anything would be all right again. I felt so empty
after you left. I wanted to keep you, to raise you, but I loved you too much for that.
I couldn’t have loved you more, daughter. I hope you see that.”
Lydia nodded, realizing Gideon was right. “I do see that, Grace. I know the truth
now…and I’ve never felt so whole.”
The truth was like water seeping into parched ground. Lydia’s soul soaked up Grace’s
words. How long had she been wanting to hear them?
“When we give God our problems and bitterness, He is faithful,” Grace said. “God doesn’t
promise to keep us from all the troubles in this world, but when trouble comes He
will be with us. My husband—God rest his soul—would remind me of that. When he knew
he wasn’t going to make it, and that the cancer would prevail, Sam told me he was
going…but that God never would leave me. Sam told me to lean into God as I leaned
into him all those years. It’s something I’ve done, and it’s the one thing that got
me through—”
Grace’s words were interrupted then by the sound of voices. “What’s that?” Lydia asked,
rising and moving to the window.
“It’s a gathering for you, Lydia. An ice-cream social. There are so many from town—from
our family—who wanted to welcome you home.”
Is this where I belong, Lord? Me and my father?
L
ydia forgot how tired she was when she saw the gathering of people at her brother
Matthew’s house next door. She lost track of names beyond that of her mother and brothers.
She received so many hugs that she had to readjust her
kapp
twice.
She lost a game of horseshoes to her two twin nieces, Emily and Katie—neither of whom
she could tell apart. She also ate her fill of ice cream and tried to burn some of
it off by pushing numerous children from their community on the tire swing.
She was just about to get off her feet and spend time sitting near Grace when Isaac
approached.
“Lydia.” Concern was on his face. “There is someone here to see you. Said he came
a long way.”
Gideon?
Her breath stilled, Lydia turned, following Isaac’s gaze. She knew she should explain
who Gideon was, but she couldn’t think. Instead she hurried to the edge of the yard
where he stood.
“Gideon? What are you doing here?”
“
Vell
, I came to deliver a message. Flew in a jet plane to get
here too, if you can imagine that. The bishop said it seemed like the only right thing
to do, considering the situation.” He had a serious look on his face, but Lydia was
happy to see that the anger was gone.
“I have to tell you, Gideon. I’m sorry I hid the truth. And you were right: my motives
weren’t completely pure. I did want the job, a book, and…” She let her words trailed
off. “I wanted you.”
She offered a sad grin. “But God used that in a way to bring me to Him. Even when
I was thinking of me, soon He became the most important part. If I could do it over
I would have told you everything. I would have admitted my desire for the teaching
position sooner. I would have made you read every word the moment I wrote it.”
“I know, Lydia. I shouldn’t have focused so much on the ‘why.’ I should have concentrated
on the woman you became. Sometimes people hide the truth because they’re afraid of
causing pain, but sometimes…well, what they set out for is different than what they
get. Truth does that.” Gideon’s gaze narrowed. “Now, will you let me share my message?”
Worry rushed over her again at his words and the serious look on his face. What could
be so important that he’d come all this way?
“A message? Is everyone all right? Is it Dat?”
“Your dat is fine, but I’m supposed to give you this.” Gideon reached into his pocket
and pulled out her cell phone, handing it to her. He attempted to hide a smile, but
he wasn’t doing a very good job.
“You forgot this,” he said.
“
Ja
, I know.” She frowned and looked down at the phone. It was turned on and the battery
was fully charged. The notification said there was a voicemail. She shrugged and checked
it.
Lydia, this is Bonnie, and I need to apologize. I messed up and I’m certain you believe
I’ve ruined your life. I didn’t understand your text. I thought you were sending your
manuscript to be submitted to the publisher. I went to West Kootenai and explained
everything. Your friends are great. Gideon’s a keeper. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Because I need to ask your forgiveness too. Because I did something else you might
not forgive me for. I let the others read the manuscript. I only had one copy but
they passed it around. Edgar said to tell you he smiles more than you said he did.
I believe Gideon has a note from the others. Don’t hate me
.
Lydia hung up and looked up at Gideon. “Do you have a note too?” she dared to ask.
He nodded and reached into his pocket to hand her a folded square of paper. She unfolded
it and saw that it was written in a neat handwriting. Marianna’s signature was first,
but then dozens of others followed it. Annie, Susan, David, Julia, Edgar…and many
more. Even Ellie’s name was written in scribbly script at the bottom.
Laughter spilled from Lydia’s lips, followed by tears of longing. “Ellie’s practicing
her letters.” She glanced up at him. “What is this?”
Gideon smiled and nodded to the paper. “Jest read.”
Dear Lydia
,
We hope this letter finds you well. Yer dat told us where you’d gone and we’re keeping
you in our prayers. I filled in for school, and though I’m sure I’m doing fine all
the children miss you and send you love. They can’t wait for you to return. They’ll
probably be upset with me for saying this, but they talk about you like Englisch children
speak of rock stars. After all, they’ve never known someone famous. But I’m getting
ahead of myself
.
I have to admit I was shocked and hurt by the arrival of that publisher. To hear that
you’d been writing about us…We all felt betrayed. Mem later told me she went to confront
you. Annie said the same. They both said they were glad you were sleeping at the time.
They were thankful for the gut Lord for keeping their words where they belonged—in
their mind, not on the tip of the tongue
.
We heard you left Sunday morning. Your dat gave us your note apologizing on leaving
without setting up a teacher first. We called a special meeting after church service.
Many were mad, angry. We felt we’d been fooled. That’s when an unexpected visitor
showed up
.
Bonnie caught a special flight from Mexico to Kalispell. I can’t even imagine such
a thing. She’d come to apologize to you…and to clear the air. She said you sounded
distraught on your messages, and she felt horrible for the miscommunication. She also
told us that from what she’d read she believed you truly had a change of heart and
had returned to the Amish with pure motives. She let Gideon read a few parts first.
Then we thought it would be wise to let our bishop read your words too
.
His wife, Katie, sat beside him while he read, and when we noticed tears in their
eyes we demanded we know what was there. Elton read us a few parts aloud—about the
first time you read a note from the Promise Box and what God’s promises meant to you.
Not one cheek stayed dry that moment. All of us rejoiced at God’s gut transformation
.
One man didn’t seem too happy about the pages being read. Micah rose and we thought
he was leaving the room, but he walked to Gideon instead and offered an apology. After
that Gideon stood and told us the story about Mose’s death. He confessed to us that
his words to you had been
unkind right before you left, and he wept and questioned how he’d accused you when
he’d been freed from so much. Only a few of those who’d been around awhile knew about
the words on the tombstone, and all of us agreed that part of the story needed to
be written too. So you have more work to do
.
All that to say that we understand, Lydia, that you wrote the story in the notebook
for yourself, Gideon, and your dat. But, dear friend, would you honor us by sharing
your story with the world…and our part in it? The lady from New York said she is still
interested. Edgar was the one who went to the guest cottage where she was staying
and asked. He also asked if the book would make enough money for the publishing company
to be able to donate enough to pay for an indoor bathroom and running water in the
school. She said she believed it would
.
Lydia reread Marianna’s signature and all the others again too. She chuckled. She
couldn’t help it. Joy flooded over her. She looked to Gideon and thought for a moment
that his smile was even larger than hers.
She turned the piece of paper over, expecting there would be more to the letter on
the other side. Instead the page was blank.
Lydia’s forehead wrinkled. “I don’t understand.”
“That’s because I asked Marianna to stop there. I told her I wanted to fill you in
on the rest.”
“
Ja
, what’s that?”
“It’s time to go back now, Lydia.”
“To West Kootenai?”
“
Ja
, it’s time to come home. There’s something else too.” Gideon sank to one knee.
Lydia gasped. “What are you doing?”
“Edgar told me this is how the
Englisch
do it. And since you like stories I thought I’d share one.”
“A-all right.”
Cheers rose up from behind her, and Lydia glanced back over her shoulder. The eyes
of all the guests at the ice-cream social were fixed on her. It only seemed right
that her family—
her family
—should be part of this.
Lydia turned back around and offered a smile to the man she loved with all her heart.
Gideon cleared his throat and peered up at her with emotion in his dark eyes. “You
know, Lydia. I’m not from Montana. I went for hunting. I wanted to take home some
antlers and have a
gut
story to tell.”
Despite her nervous excitement, Lydia chuckled. “Well, you didn’t get what you bargained
for, did you?”
“
Ne
, I didn’t get what I bargained for. I got better than that. For all my life I just
wanted to be noticed. I wanted to belong. Now I realize where my true home is.”
“Where’s that?”
“Because of Jesus my eternal home is with my Father God. But on this earth, as far
as I’m concerned, home is where you are.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, if you still have the first Saturday in December free, I’d like to occupy
your time that day by making you my wife.”
Lydia tapped the side of her cheek. “Well, I’ll have to check my schedule…but I think
I’m free.”
Free
. The word echoed in her thoughts. What had that Scripture said: “
The truth will set you free
”? She hadn’t understood that a few months ago. To her, freedom had been setting off
on her own path, living by her own rules, plotting her own course. But true freedom
was not only turning your life over
to God and letting Him have control, but also looking back and seeing His path—seeing
where He’d been and what He’d already done.
True freedom: it was something inside. Something beautiful.
What had Gideon said once? A free horse wasn’t one that roamed the hills. A free horse
was one that submitted to his master in trust and understanding. She’d never felt
freer than at that moment—not even when she’d packed a bag and headed into the
Englisch
world.
Lydia opened her arms. Gideon stood and swept her up in his embrace. He placed the
softest kiss on her lips, and then he pulled back.
“Will you promise to love me…even when I mess up? Even when I don’t always do the
right things, say the right things?” he asked.
“
Ja
.” Lydia nodded. “Because I know it’s in those hard times that God will use the pain
to mold us into the people He’s designed us to be. People who can love, who can forgive,
and who can point others to freedom.” Lydia sighed. “And…the truth is, Gideon, you
are jest as handsome when you’re angry as when you’re happy with me.”
Gideon chuckled. “And you’re jest as beautiful when you’re seeking an answer as when
you’ve found one. And I have a feeling on this earth there will be plenty of both.
And also enough of God’s grace to lead the way.”
“
Ja
.” Lydia smiled. “I agree. And to you, Gideon, I make a promise: that I will always
tell you the truth from now on. Unless you ask about who ate the last piece of pie—then
there are no guarantees.”
Gideon kissed her once again. “Is that a promise?”
“
Ja
, it’s a promise…one I’ll write down and slip inside Mem’s Promise Box.”
“Or write in a book?” Gideon cocked an eyebrow.
“Or write in a book.” Lydia smiled. “If that’s what the good Lord wants. But we’ll
just have to wait and see.”
“Just as long as you write me as dashing and handsome.” He smirked.
“I have no reservations about that.” She snuggled her cheek into his neck. “Then everyone
will know what a
gut
God we really have. One who brings hope out of pain and love. Well…” She looked up
at him. “One who can introduce love on a beautiful summer day when two ordinary people
least expect it. And One who can remind us that some things are worth living for.”
“I like that, Lydia.” Love radiated from his gaze. “I like that a lot.”
Lydia pulled back and took his hand. “Now come and meet my mother. Oh yes, and my
brothers too. I’m sure they’ll put you to the test to see if you’re the man for their
little sister.”
“I won’t mind.” Gideon chuckled and hurried forward, leading the way. “And for some
reason I think the prayer of a young boy is being answered. A prayer he prayed as
he gazed down at his baby sister.”
Lydia glanced up and met Matthew’s gaze. “
Ja
, Gideon. I think yer right.” The tears in her eyes matched those of her brothers.
“And you know it’s a
gut
God to design something like that. A
gut
God indeed.”