She shifts her weight to her other foot and glances up at me from under too much mascara. Her mouth hangs open for a second and her lip curls, like she doesn’t want to say whatever is about to fall out of her mouth. “There’s something you need to know, and I don’t know if you’ll like it or not with everything that’s happened, but you need to know. You need to. And I hate to tell you this now, but maybe it’s best this way. I’d wait if I thought it would help.”
“Maggie, just tell me. What is it?”
She sucks in a bunch of air and spits it out. “Last night while you weren’t home, I walked in on what looked like Neil and Cecily doing stuff that was way beyond the friend-zone.” Her lips are mashed together as she tries to remain expressionless. I can tell she wants to castrate Neil as she fights to keep those lips of hers in a straight line.
I blink, and that’s all. Anger doesn’t spew from my mouth and hands don’t ball into fists. I don’t feel broken or even shocked.
I feel nothing at all.
If I loved Neil, I’d be irate, but I’m not. I nod.
Maggie’s worried face pinches together as she pushes her bright hair behind her ear. “I didn’t know if I should tell you. I hate him, but I thought you liked the guy.” She watches me with such concern that I can’t help but smile at her.
My gaze lowers to the ground and I take in a deep breath, before giving her a sideways hug. When I let go, I mutter, “I’m glad you told me. When it rains it pours, huh?” I offer a smile again, but it’s fake this time. There are too many memories racing through my mind, and the motion makes my skin feel like it will crack.
“Yeah.” She laughs. “At least we don’t have to worry about Victor. I owe you big for that. The papers said one of his men killed him in my apartment. If you hadn’t dragged me out that night I would have been shot, too.”
I’m numb to what I’ve done—at least right now. Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, the thought of what I’ve done slips into my mind, unwanted. Victor is a nightmare that won’t die, but I can’t waste my time.
“It’s me and you, now,” I tell her firmly. She smiles sadly at me and nods. “Maggie, can you go to Neil’s place and grab my stuff? There are only a few boxes. I never unpacked, not really. Neil wanted me to, but I shoved most of them into the back of a closet.” I pull out my purse and write her a check. “This should cover rent on our new apartment and whatever else we need. Make it pretty, okay? It’ll be nice to have a cute new place to go home to when this is over.”
Maggie takes the check and looks down at all the zeroes, before glancing up at me. A lock of red hair falls in front of her eyes. “Hallie, I can’t take this.”
“Yes, you can. Go do it. We need a place to live. I wish I had more to offer, but that fight is for another day. In the meantime, this will put us in a good neighborhood and we’ll be comfortable.”
“Are you going to sue Neil and Cecily? They pretty much spent all your money.”
I nod. “Probably, but not right now. I need to make a phone call.” Maggie nods and I dial my bank as we head to my car. I explain to a very helpful bank employee that Neil’s name is to be removed from my account immediately and any transactions in progress with his signature are to be transferred to his account. Joint checking was his idea. I rub my hands over my face and sit down hard on the hood of my car. The thing is filthy, but I don’t care. The bank employee asks me to come in soon to sign papers making the changes to my account official. When I insist they need to be signed now, she says to come over at my convenience.
I hang up, and stare blankly at the closed doors of the grocery store. “I can’t do this again, not so soon.” My father’s loss still hangs heavy in my heart, threatening to pull me under. My grief hasn’t lessened and fame hasn’t helped. The only thing that makes me feel better is Bryan and now I’m going to lose him, too.
I can’t breathe. Tipping my head back, eyes full of tears, I look at the sky and the billowy white clouds. The sky was here long before I was born and will be here long after. It makes me feel small, like my life doesn’t matter at all.
Maggie bumps me with her boot. “Bagel?”
“I’m not hungry.” I was hungry just a moment ago, but now I just don’t feel like it.
“Tough shit. I’m taking care of you, which means you eat this or I’ll shove it in your face.” She’s smiling at me. “I’ll do it.”
I swipe my food out of her hand. “I know you will.” Unwrapping the thing, I take a bite and realize that I’m starving.
“Life isn’t about death, you know,” Maggie says suddenly. She’s sitting next to me on the hood, staring at a cloud, picking pieces off of her bagel, and popping them into her mouth one at a time.
“Then what’s it about?” I thought I knew at one point, but I have no clue, not anymore. Life seems like a cruel joke.
“It’s about the relationships you make, the kindness you offer, and the compassion you show. It’s your chance to show the world who you are and what you’re made of. Hallie, you’re the strongest person I know. Instead of sitting here crying with me, you should be with Bryan. Here.” She hands me the extra bagel. “Check in once in a while and when you need me, I’ll come. In the meantime, I’ll get our home ready, I promise. Nothing is keeping me away this time. When you need me, I’ll be there—whether it’s at the hospital, or the funeral home, or just when you need a break.”
I pick up a worried vibe from her. “You’re not weak, Maggie. We’re survivors, me and you.” When I say it, I mean to comfort her, but a lump balls in my throat.
She takes my hand and leans in, resting her head on my shoulder. “We’ll survive this too—together.”
Chapter 3
I don’t want to think about Neil, so I head back to the Ferro mansion and sneak inside. It’s still early. The only people up and dressed are the servants. They see me and say nothing. It must be strange to live like a statue, day in and day out, with no one but other staff actually acknowledging that you’re human. I can’t help it. I smile at the butler guy who’s always busy, racing off somewhere. He inclines his head in greeting, but doesn’t slow.
After he passes, he turns back. “Do you need something, Ms. Raymond?”
I smile and shake my head. “No, it’s just nice to see you.” I look at him. This man has been a staple in Bryan’s life for years. I wonder if he knows Bryan’s secret—because nothing escapes him, at least not when we were younger. I remember getting stern looks from him when we were too young and doing things too loudly while Bryan’s mom wasn’t around. But the guy never ratted us out.
“Likewise, Ms. Raymond. Tell Master Ferro that if he needs assistance, he can ask anything of me.” His eyes bore into mine for a moment before he looks away.
He knows.
I nod and go into hyper-girlie drive. Before I can stop myself, I launch my body at him and wrap my arms around the old guy, hugging him in a sloppy bear-style hug. He stiffens with shock and then pats my back. “People will tell you that it will be all right. Over the next few months you’ll hear it again and again, but loss doesn’t work that way. Things don’t go back to normal, but life does go on. Talk to him about it while you have the chance.”
My jaw drops. “What? That’d be so mean. I can’t—”
“It’s not my place, miss, but if you were my daughter that’s what I’d tell you. Dark times are coming, if this man is your ray of light, soak in as much sun as you can, while you can.”
I think I understand what he means, so I bob my head up and down slowly. Talking about death with someone who’s dying seems mean. We’ll end up discussing all the things we wanted to do, but never had the chance. My throat tightens at the thought and my eyes water. “Thank you.”
“Any time, Ms. Raymond.” He bows his head to me as if I were a queen, and turns to hurry away.
I don’t like his suggestion, but part of it calls to me. What if we did talk about it? I shake my head and clench my hands. No! I don’t want to! This isn’t fair and I can’t just accept that I’m going to lose him—not after we finally found each other again. Not after all this time.
By this time I’m on Bryan’s side of the mansion, but I stop short of the door. My intention was to tiptoe back to Bryan’s room, but I’m caught by the Ferro I fear most—Sean. He’s leaning against the wall, his arms folded over his chest. He resembles his mother, every unspoken accusation clearly visible in his eyes. His dark clothes suit him—leather jacket, blue jeans, black shirt, and shitkicker boots. “You and I have something to discuss.”
I mean to shove past him. “I have nothing to say to you.”
Sean unfolds his arms, and steps in front of me. He’s silent and lethal, with crazy vibes radiating off of him like microwaves. Ding! “Well, I have something that you need to hear—about a man named Victor.” My breath catches in my throat as my hand presses to my heart. Sean pulls me by the crook of my elbow away from Bryan’s door. “Yeah, I thought you knew something about that. The papers are saying one of his men killed him, but the cops are nosing around, asking me questions about a fucking drug lord. I don’t like cops and I dislike questions even more. So, tell me, how is it that they tracked you this far? What did you leave behind?”
I laugh, but it comes out way too high. “You think I killed him?” I’m pressing my fingers to my chest, blinking, with my jaw hanging open. Although it’s a stellar performance, something gives me away. Sean can see it.
He steps into my space in a threatening way. His voice rumbles, “I know you killed him.”
“No you don’t,” I snap, trying to push past him again, but Sean won’t let me move. He blocks the hall with his massive body.
Leaning in close to my face, he whispers softly, “If I know, my mother knows, and you do not want dirty footprints leading straight to her front door. You need to part ways with Bryan and get out of here before they figure it out.”
I shake my head and bite my bottom lip. I probably look like a stubborn brat, but I’m not leaving Bryan.
Sean’s eyes lock with mine and his voice drops to a lethal whisper. “I can make you disappear.”
Something wakes up inside of me, that same protective trait that made me slice Victor’s throat in the first place. My spine straightens and I get in his face. “Likewise.”
After a thoughtful moment, the man actually laughs. Sean rubs his jaw with his hand. I can’t tell if he’s amused or thinks I’m crazy. He finally asks, “Why’d you do it?”
“Why do you think? The man was a murdering rapist. Let’s just say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Accidents happen and I wasn’t going to let anything else happen to my friend. She’s the only family I have left.” I suck in air, trying to puff up so I’m not so small, but compared to Sean Ferro, I’m a toothpick.
His blue eyes shift to the side before he runs his hands through his hair. “So, you protect your family and let me protect mine. Walk away. Don’t pull Bryan into this.”
“Into what? Dead people don’t pull anyone into anything.”
“Victor Campone is alive.”
Chapter 4
A tiny squeak escapes my lips and I nearly fall to the floor. My knees give way, but before I go down, Sean grabs my arms. He holds me upright and continues softly. “The cops suspect he’s alive. By the time they got there, the body was gone. Due to the amount of blood they found, their natural assumption was that one of his men killed him and dumped the body. The cops were still going down that path until recently when Campone was caught snooping around my hotel. So, unless they saw a ghost, the man is still alive.”
“He can’t be.” I shake my head and my eyes glaze over as I remember that night. The amount of blood, the way his head hung back and the wound was so deep. “It’s not possible.”
Sean sighs and looks at me with an expression that’s lost somewhere between pity and admiration. Leaning in close, he says, “The cut was too shallow. It’s like aiming for the heart and missing. The guy underestimated what you were willing to do once, but he won’t underestimate you again. And I’d bet anything that he’ll remain dead for a while, letting others do his dirty work, until it suits him to stage a resurrection.”
“How do you know all this?”
He swallows hard, his gaze shifting away and then back to my eyes. “Periodically, our business ventures overlap. I hear things. And I can tell you that if I hear it, my mother has heard it and you sure as hell don’t want to piss her off. If Campone ends up here, you’re dead. If he doesn’t kill you, my mother will.”
He grabs my shoulders and urges me, “Hallie, take your friend and get the hell out of here before Campone finds you.” Sean releases me. “This was a courtesy warning. If you stick around and Bryan is killed because of you, well, you better hope Victor finds you before I do.” His eyes flick over me once, his intentions clear.
I stand there for a second barely breathing. Our eyes are locked, we’re both defiant to the core, but he doesn’t know—Sean doesn’t know about his cousin. Maybe I should take Bryan and run, but I can’t. Not while he’s sick. He’ll need help and hospice care. I can’t give him those things if I run. My voice cracks when I speak. “I can’t.”
“It’s not optional.”
“No, you don’t understand. I can’t leave. I can’t outrun Victor, and I won’t. I’ll take care of this. I’ll finish what I started.” I have no idea how, but I will. If I don’t, he’ll come after me and Maggie. The man is ruthless, he’ll never stop hunting us. I know that for certain.
Sean’s dark brow lifts. “Are you insane? You’ll never get another chance to kill him. He thought you were insignificant before, now he knows better.”
I shove past him. “I’ll take care of it. He won’t come here, and this time when I kill him, he’ll die.”
“Hallie,” Sean almost pleads my name—almost—but I don’t stop.
I head into Bryan’s room and close the door. I stay there for a second and tip my head back, breathing hard. I’ve never even punched a person before this. Now I just confessed to the scariest Ferro of them all that I’m going to take out the city’s most notorious drug lord. Super fuck.
I’m still holding the bag with Bryan’s breakfast. When I tighten my fist, the paper makes a crackling noise and he sits up. A beautiful smile brightens his ashen face. “Hey, Beautiful Girl. Where’d you run off to?”