The Reformed Vampire Support Group (31 page)

This gun was surrendered to me only after we left the flat. As instructed, I guided Horace all the way to the blue hatchback, where I shoved him into its front passenger seat. I then positioned myself
directly behind Horace, while Dermid was being strapped in next to me. It was Dave who did the strapping. Since Father Ramon had to be protected, he was sent straight back to his own car once Dermid had been safely deposited in Dave’s smaller, more modest vehicle. I should tell you, by the way, that all this was done in complete silence. Neither Dermid nor Barry was able to talk, and the rest of us were trying very hard not to attract attention. Even Horace kept his mouth shut – presumably because he was scared of what might happen if he opened it.

He was still pretty sick, you see.

Dave passed me the pistol just before we set off. He asked me to shoot Horace in the back of the head if Horace so much as reached for the doorhandle. ‘I know it won’t kill him,’ Dave added, ‘but it should at least slow him down a bit.’ To this day, I don’t know if he was being serious. (It’s hard to tell with Dave, sometimes.) All I
do
know is that Horace was appalled.

‘You can’t do that!’ he slurred. ‘That’s … Nina, you ask Sanford … that’s not allowed …’

‘Oh, shut up.’ I almost
wanted
to shoot him in the back of the head, after seeing what he was capable of. And Dave seemed to share my feelings.

‘We’re not interested in what you think,’ he informed Horace, his voice creaking with the effort of restraint. ‘What you’ve done is bad enough.’

‘I did the right thing,’ Horace insisted, fumbling his vowels.

‘Just give it a rest, mate.’

‘I did!’ bleated Horace. ‘If you fang the bad guys, they’re not a problem any more!’

‘What do you mean, they’re not a problem?’ I couldn’t believe my ears. ‘Don’t you know what this means, Horace? It means that we’re going to have to put up with
Dermid McKinnon
in our support
group!’ I paused for a moment, to let this dreadful prospect sink in. ‘It’s bad enough being stuck with
you
,’ I finished, ‘let alone Dermid McKinnon!’

At first I thought that Horace had been struck dumb by this reminder, until I saw his head loll forward. Then I realised that he’d dozed off, and that my argument hadn’t silenced him after all.

It was Dave who reacted.

‘Oh, man,’ he groaned. ‘You’re right. We’d
have
to let Dermid join – it would be against the rules not to.’

‘Unless we change the rules.’

‘What a nightmare.’

‘I’m sorry, Dave.’ This needed to be emphasised, in my opinion; Dave had to understand how sorry I really was. ‘I should have known not to trust Horace. He probably planned this whole, stupid escapade, just so he could fang someone.’

‘Maybe.’

‘I was sick. I wasn’t thinking. I’d never have done it, otherwise – not even for Reuben’s sake.’

‘Yeah, well …’

‘You believe me, don’t you?’ It was desperately important that he did. I couldn’t bear the thought of Dave looking at me the way he’d looked at Horace. ‘The minute my head cleared, I decided not to do it. I was about to go straight back home, only …’ I paused.

‘Only
I
arrived, and you persuaded me to take a chance,’ Dave finished. His tone was level. ‘If I hadn’t agreed, none of this would have happened. It was my fault as much as anyone’s.’

‘No. It wasn’t.’

‘I was showing off,’ he lamented. ‘I’m always showing off. It’s crazy. I must be out of my mind.’ He flipped on his indicator, then pulled away from the kerb. ‘I have to stop
caring
, or I’ll end up shot full of holes.’

Needless to say, I was mystified. There’s maybe one person in the entire universe who’s more self-effacing than Dave, and that’s Bridget. I couldn’t imagine why he had suddenly accused himself of showing off.

But before I could air my objections, he told me to ring Sanford.

‘I forgot to turn on my mobile,’ he confessed, clumsily passing me his phone with one hand as he steered with the other. ‘There’ll be a million messages on here, and they’ll all be from Sanford. You’ve got to call him back. Tell him what’s happened.’

‘
Me?
’

‘I’m driving.’

‘Couldn’t Father Ramon—?’

‘He’s driving too.’ Dave glanced up into the rear-view mirror, his eyes shielded by his sunglasses. ‘Would you rather do it over the phone, or face-to-face?’ he said grimly. ‘Your choice, Nina.’

Naturally, I chose the first option. I knew that, while breaking the bad news to Sanford would be hard enough over the phone, it would infinitely more difficult face-to-face. Though Sanford didn’t often lose his temper, it was most unpleasant when he did; I fully expected a thunderous dressing-down if I arrived back home without giving him time to work off his initial outrage. By calling him up, I was hoping to avoid everything but the tail end of the storm.

He answered immediately.

‘
Hello? Who’s that?
’

‘Uh – Sanford?’ I mumbled. ‘It’s Nina.’

‘
Nina? What’s happened? Where are you?
’

‘We’re heading home. Look—’

‘
Who’s with you? Is Father Ramon with you?
’

‘Yes, and so is Reuben. And Horace. But—’

‘
What about Dave? Is he all right?
’

‘Listen. There’s some bad news.’ I took a deep breath, conscious that Dave was listening intently to my side of the conversation. ‘Horace fanged Dermid.’ I finally forced it out. ‘Dermid McKinnon. We’re bringing him in – and his dad, as well. They’ve both been tranquillised.’ Hearing nothing at the other end of the line, I waited for a few seconds. At last I said, ‘Hello?’

The pause dragged out for a while longer, until Sanford eventually stammered, ‘
You – you can’t be serious
.’

‘I am. I’m sorry.’ In an attempt to sugar the pill, I hastily continued. ‘The good news is that Dermid’s blood was full of anaesthetic, so Horace isn’t hard to control. I mean, he’s actually asleep at the moment. He’s not out fanging people or anything.’ Sanford’s stunned silence convinced me that he wasn’t reassured. ‘But I guess we’ll have to be careful when the drug wears off,’ I had to concede, in a lame and halting fashion. ‘With Dermid, too.’

‘
Oh my God
.’

‘I’m really sorry, Sanford. I was feeling so sick, I wasn’t thinking straight. And then Barry turned out to be asleep, and we thought we had a good chance.’ Ignoring Dave’s wince – which was reflected in the rear-view mirror – I added, ‘It would have worked out really well, except for Horace. He completely screwed things up.’

‘
For God’s sake
.’ Sanford sounded more astonished than angry. ‘
What’s wrong with you? Are you mad? You know what Horace is like!
’

‘Yes, but—’

‘
How could you do this? Where’s Dave? Is he there?
’

‘He’s driving,’ I replied, as Dave hunched his shoulders. ‘He can’t talk right now.’

‘
This is a disaster. A complete disaster. Do you understand what’s going on? You’ve spread the infection. You’ve created another vampire
.’

‘I know. I’m sorry.’

‘
You’re sorry? Is that all you have to say?
’

‘I didn’t mean to—’

‘
You didn’t mean to what? Disobey your mother? Ignore all the rules? Put everyone at risk by pursuing some selfish fantasy of superhuman power in an ignorant dream world?
’ The initial shock had clearly subsided; Sanford was beginning to fire off his first volleys. ‘
You’ve never had to attend a transformation – you’ve no idea what it entails
—’

‘Sanford? You’re breaking up.’

‘
Because of your adolescent infatuation with this werewolf
—’

‘Can’t hear you! Be there in a minute! Bye!’

I broke the connection.

‘Not good?’ said Dave, as I returned his mobile.

‘Not good.’ I delivered myself of a full-body sigh. ‘He was just gearing up, by the sound of things.’

‘Then he should be over the worst of it before we get there.’

‘Maybe. I hope so.’ But I wasn’t about to bet money on it. ‘Dave?’

‘What?’

‘Um … did Horace ever ask you to come to Nefley’s place with us?’

Though Dave lifted an eyebrow, his expression was hard to read behind the inscrutable expanse of his wraparound sunglasses.

‘What do
you
think?’ he replied.

‘No?’

‘Of course not.’

Bloody Horace
, I thought.
What a
liar
he is!

The drive back
home might have been grim, but at least I wasn’t in Father Ramon’s car. He later informed me that Reuben spent the entire journey vilifying Barry and Dermid. In fact Reuben’s threats became so vicious that when we all arrived at Mum’s place, he was told not to go anywhere near the McKinnons; instead he was forced to stand apart with his hands in his pockets, while both cars were being unloaded.

‘Are you sure you don’t want me to help?’ he queried, as Dave and I wrestled with Dermid’s limp form. I’m convinced that Reuben wasn’t intending to kick anyone in the head. I daresay he genuinely wanted to be useful. But Dave turned him down flat.

‘You can keep well clear,’ Dave said shortly. ‘This guy isn’t safe for you to touch.’

‘He’s not reformed,’ I added, by way of explanation. Whereupon Reuben cleared his throat.

‘The priest told me this was your idea,’ he announced, his eyes glittering in the darkness. ‘This whole rescue deal. He told me I’ve got you to thank, Nina.’

‘Uh …’ I glanced at Dave, but he was halfway inside the car by then, and his face was hidden. ‘Actually, I wasn’t the only one …’

‘It took a lotta guts,’ Reuben continued, as if he hadn’t heard
me. His expression was grave, his manner uncharacteristically calm. Nevertheless, I could feel the banked-down heat radiating from his tense, wiry figure. ‘What you did – I mean, you risked getting yourself killed. Just to save my life.’

‘Not really.’ I was feeling very uncomfortable, by this stage. ‘It’s pretty hard to kill a vampire.’

‘I still owe you. Big time. Because you’re the one who didn’t give up.’

‘Well – okay. Thanks. But don’t tell Sanford that,’ I begged. ‘He’s mad enough as it is.’ And I glanced over to where Sanford was busy with Horace, who was so heavily drugged that he couldn’t make his own way into the house. Neither could Barry, of course; Father Ramon was having to drag him up the front steps.

At the top of those steps I could see my mother, framed in the vestibule doorway. Her arms were folded.

‘Who
is
this Sanford guy, anyhow?’ Reuben wanted to know. ‘And why should he be mad at you?’

‘Oh … he’s just a vampire,’ I said vaguely, distracted by Mum’s threatening demeanour. ‘And he’s always mad at me.’

‘Not while I’m around,’ Reuben declared. His tone had an edge to it. ‘If anyone starts tearing strips off
you
, Nina, I’ll do the same to them. You won’t ever regret what you’ve done for me, swear to God.’

Mystified and bemused, I shook the hand that he thrust in my direction – conscious all the while of Dave’s wordless disapproval. Not that Dave was
impolite
, exactly: just rather aloof. And he wasn’t the only one. I soon realised that nobody else was warming to Reuben either, despite his many attractive qualities. And this became even more obvious when we all piled into the vestibule.

It was a tight squeeze. Though George and Gladys were shut up in the basement (well away from any tempting cuts or nosebleeds), there still wasn’t enough room for everyone. Yet despite the lack of
space, Bridget and Sanford and Dave seemed to shrink away from Reuben, as if from something radioactive.

I suppose it doesn’t take much to alarm a vampire; you just have to look as if you could kick down a door, or throw a punch. Reuben certainly conveyed this impression. And the fact that he was a known werewolf made things ten times worse.

‘Uh – this is Reuben, everyone,’ Father Ramon announced, after a brief and awkward silence. ‘Reuben, I don’t think you’ve met Sanford, or Bridget, or Estelle. Estelle is Nina’s mother. This is her house.’

‘Hi,’ said Reuben, gruffly.

Bridget’s response was a timid half-smile. Sanford grunted. As for Mum, she didn’t seem interested in Reuben at all. Instead she fixed me with a stony glare. ‘You’ve got some explaining to do, my girl,’ she said. And I braced myself for a tongue-lashing of biblical proportions.

It was Father Ramon who came to my rescue.

‘Not now,’ the priest broke in. ‘Let’s sort things out first. Where are we going to put these three, for a start?’ He surveyed the unconscious bodies cluttering up Mum’s vestibule. ‘We can’t just leave them lying here.’

‘You’re bloody right, we can’t!’ Mum exclaimed. ‘I’ve already got one upstairs – I don’t want any more! There aren’t enough beds in the house for all of them! And what’s going to happen when they wake up?’

It was a good question. It certainly galvanised Sanford, who wrenched his gaze away from Reuben’s teeth and began to fire off orders. Thanks to Sanford, we suddenly stopped dithering around. We started to organise ourselves.

Firstly, Bridget agreed to take Gladys home – because we were no longer at risk of being attacked by Nefley Irving. It was felt that
Gladys, especially, should be kept well away from Barry and Reuben, since we didn’t want another unfortunate fanging incident. And when Father Ramon offered the two women a lift, he was told to go back to the presbytery as soon as he’d dropped them off. ‘Have a good, long sleep,’ was Sanford’s advice, ‘and don’t come back until you’re feeling refreshed.’

‘I’ll try,’ said the priest, running his hands through his hair, ‘though it won’t be easy. I have a parish meeting at eleven, but I can always postpone that until next week.’

‘Oh, we’ll have everything worked out by next week,’ Sanford assured him, then turned to Dave with another set of instructions. Dave was given the unenviable job of driving George and Horace over to Sanford’s place, where Horace would be locked in the old bank vault for a while. (‘Just to be on the safe side,’ as Sanford put it.) Meanwhile, Sanford would remain at Mum’s house; he wasn’t yet in a position to take charge of Horace, because he had Nefley and Dermid to look after.