The Reluctant Wolf (Book 1 Cloverleah Pack) (15 page)

Kane snickered as he looked at Shawn.

Don’t even think about it

Aww, not even once?

Not even once.

“Mrs. Matthews,” Shawn spoke quietly, his calming power evident in his voice.
The Shaman looked at him closely but Shawn was focused on Kane’s mother. Cheryl looked at him and stopped crying.  She wiped her face on the tissue Kane’s brother had given her and looked carefully at the man her son was now mated too.  “Mrs. Matthews, I am sorry I can’t wear a dress, even for your son, but I do promise I will always protect him and always love him, no matter what happens in our lives.  Can that be enough for you?”

Taking a deep breath, Cheryl nodded, but then she looked anxious again.  Looking directly at Shawn she said, “
But you two don’t have very long together at all.  Xavier is going to be here in two days.  He said he intends on killing you and Kane.”

“He is going to try, Mom,” Kane’s voice was firm.  “But we have plans in place to see that doesn’t happen.  Xavier is coming to kill Shawn because Shawn is the true Alpha of his pack.  He has been sending human hunters after Shawn for years, which in a way is a good thing because that is how we met up.  Since we have mated Shawn put Xavier in a position where he had no choice but to come here and face him in a wolf challenge, so that the threat to me and the other’s here,” Kane indicated to the other men that were still standing in the doorway, “will finally be over.  Me, my pack and a few of my friends will be here to support him.”

“Shawn, you’re an Alpha?  Why don’t you want to lead your pack?”  Cheryl spoke to Shawn directly for the first time.  Shawn looked at Kane.

What should I tell her?

The truth, as much as you want to share. 

“I wasn’t kicked out of my pack because I am gay, ma’am. I am gay but I kept that hidden. I got kicked out of my pack by my father because I was different.  I am not an ordinary wolf shifter. I don’t want to lead a pack of people who don’t appreciate an individual’s differences.  I never wanted to lead people, period.  Now I have met my mate, I feel I have found my place, with this pack and I am happy here.”

“You would give up being an Alpha to be with my son?”  Cheryl sounded surprised.

Shawn looked at Kane, noticing anew his hard handsome features and the love in his eyes.

“In a heartbeat,” he said firmly. Cheryl sat quietly absorbing the new information, leaning on her younger son who was still silent but looking at Kane with new respect in his eyes. 

“What about your mother?”  It was the Shaman who spoke up now.

“My mother is dead, I presume after giving birth to me.  That is why I don’t know what this ‘Other’ is.  I had always been told she was human, but obviously she was more than that.”

“I think I might have the answers you seek, son.  I need to spend a bit of time outside first, do you mind?”  The Shaman looked at Kane.

“No, of course not.  Take all the time you need.”  Kane graciously showed Shaman Paulo to the door and then turned to the others in the room.  “Now, I know my mate here hasn’t had his coffee this morning, so how about we all get something to eat and drink.”

“Can I help in the kitchen?” Cheryl went to stand up from the couch. 

“No,” Kane grinned at Shawn, “We’ll let Shawn handle it if that’s okay.”

Shawn, relaxing for the first time since they came downstairs, flicked his fingers and all of a sudden smells of food came wafting through to the living room.

“Lunch is served,” Shawn said putting out his hand to Cheryl, who with a little shake took it.  Tugging her hand under his arm he escorted his mother in law out to the kitchen table leaving Kane staring at his brother on the couch.

“You have been very quiet, Vincent.  Are you all right?”  Vincent stood up and came across to Kane, throwing his arms around him in a huge hug.  “Oh Kane,” he said muffled in Kane’s neck, “I have missed you so much.”

“I know brother, I have missed you too.
  But I have to be who I am, you do understand that don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do, more than you know.”  The younger man looked up at his older brother and decided to trust him.  “I am gay too and I don’t know how to tell Dad.”

Kane threw his arm around Vincent’s shoulders, leading him into the kitchen.  “When you do tell him, and you will have to, you know, unless you want to live your life in a lie, then always know you can have a place here.”

“Well I am kinda hoping it won’t come to that.  That is why I came down with Mom today.  Saul and Michael told the pack that you two were mated and I thought if it could happen for you, despite being gay, then it might happen for me.  Mom’s gonna have to tell the Alpha the truth, and Shaman Paulo will back her up.  Maybe things in our pack can change.”

Well, I hope for your sake that is true, but if it doesn’t there is always a place here for you with me.”

“Would you come back, Kane, if things were different?”

“No,” said Kane quietly. “I am the Alpha here and I am happy with my mate, my pack and my life.  But it would be nice to come and visit once in a while” And with that they headed into the kitchen. 

Chapter Twenty

The luncheon went surprisingly well given the tension from the morning.  Once she had relaxed, Cheryl turned out to be an amazingly funny woman who had no problem telling embarrassing tales about Kane and Vincent’s childhood to the other men at the table.  Given they were the type of stories a mother in law would typically share with her prospective daughter in law Shawn felt quite pleased that she felt she could speak so freely in front of him and the rest of Kane’s pack.  She even seemed to be more relaxed with Griff, which given the number of times Griff laughed at her stories, made him feel better as well.

You know part of this is because of you, don’t you?

What do you mean me? This is you Kane, you and your pack and part of your family.

My Mom feels relaxed with you…who knows in time she may even accept who and what we are and that is partially to do with what an amazing man you are.

You are being sweet, but I think that maybe she is finally realizing how much she misses being a part of your life.  How do you feel about all this, hon?

Confused mostly.  I guess I never acknowledged how much I did miss my family.  Not my dad so much, but definitely my Mom and Vincent, although I wish she didn’t have to embarrass me like she is now.

I think it is cute.  You were clearly a rascal as a pup.

I don’t do cute.  Please know that I am growling at you right now and being the mean Alpha wolf I am.

Shawn looked at Kane, sitting beside him with his face relaxed as he was laughing at something his Mom had said. 

Still look cute to me.
 

Still talking to his mother, Kane reached his hand under the table and slid it up, Shawn’s thigh, cupping the bulge above.  Discretely Shawn moved his own hand down, and shifted Kane’s until it was
further away from his dick.

You are so NOT giving me a boner while your mother is at the table.

Kane moved his hand higher again, this time running his nails into the skin underneath Shawn’s jeans before cupping Shawn’s bulge again.  When Shawn grabbed his hand for a second time, he flexed his fingers forcing Kane’s fingers between his.  Then he settled their joined hands on Kane’s thigh and used the strength of his wrists to hold them there.

I am a lot stronger than you
Kane’s teasing voice came through to him.

Don’t make me flick my fingers at you.

Oh, oh, what would you do to me, show me.

Grinning to himself Shawn sent Kane a set of images showing Kane in various states of undress and bondage.  He positively chuckled under his breath when he felt Kane start to fidget in his chair.

“I think we should go and see how the Shaman is getting on.” Looking at his mother he asked, “Will you be all right here for a bit?”

Cheryl smiled knowingly at her son.  “Sure Kane, I am sure these guys will keep me amused. 
Take as long as you need.”

Excused by his mother Kane strode off tugging Shawn with him as he went.  Once through the front door, which he slammed behind them, he pushed Shawn against the wall of the house and grabbed Shawn’s
ass plastering their bodies together.  Seconds later he was kissing Shawn like his life depended on it.

It was quite some time later, that they both heard a discrete cough behind them indicating they weren’t alone.  Turning, Kane saw Shaman Paulo standing behind them smiling at them.

“Come with me, please, I think I have the answers you are looking for.”  Paulo turned back towards the trees and after a moment Kane and Shawn followed him.

Great now I have a boner in front of the Shaman.

Well we are a matching pair.

Later?

Sooner if I have my way.

Satisfied that Shawn was as aroused as he was, Kane was quite happy to follow the Shaman into the trees.  He knew that anything Shawn could learn about his magic would help in his fight against Xavier.

The Shaman kept walking until he came to a small, grassy clearing in the trees.  Sitting himself down with his back to a tree trunk he indicated that Kane and Shawn should sit in front of him.  Only once they were settled did the Shaman start to speak.

“Firstly I need to apologize for taking a bit of time before speaking to you.  I needed to communicate with my own wolf spirit and make a couple of
discrete calls to be sure the information I give you is accurate.” Noting Kane and Shawn’s nod, the Shaman Paulo continued, focusing on Shawn.

“What you are is a mix of wolf and
Shifter Guardian.  Shifter Guardian’s have been around for all time although there are only about six of them on earth at any one time.  They are the beings that help packs to heal both spiritually and physically. They bring packs together during times of conflict.  They set up and enforce pack laws that are fair to everyone.  They have the ability to draw people to them and they are the Guardians of all types of shifters, not just wolves.”

Kane looked at Shawn who was just sitting quietly, absorbing all the older man had to say.

“You Shawn will always have more power than most.  There is no person or shifter who can permanently kill you now in any form, in any way.”

“But wh
en Shawn was shot the other day with two bullets he almost died.  Didn’t he?”  Kane had to ask.

“Yes I am sure he almost did but that was before he was mated with you, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”  Shawn knew in that soft reply that Kane was blaming himself for keeping his distance from Shawn the week after they first met.  He reached over and took Kane’s hand in his before nodding to the Shaman to continue.

“Because of the unique nature of your parent’s coupling you have been blessed with a trio of spirits - your human side, your wolf side that you inherited from your father and your Guardian side that you obviously got from your mother. When you claimed your mate you infused in him enough magic to hold at least one of your spirits at any one time.  Your Guardian spirit can never be harmed by any on this earth.  If either your wolf or your human body dies, then that spirit will automatically seek Kane, and he can bring you back.  With Kane by your side you are virtually immortal and by extension, he will live as long as you both desire.”

Shawn dipped his head down, hiding his face behind his hair as he always did when he was troubled.
  Who in their right mind would want that type of responsibility?  Sure mates looked out for each other, and protected each other, but giving Kane the power to bring him back from the dead effectively made him as different as Shawn.  Shawn had been shunned for being different his whole life.  He didn’t want that for Kane. Struggling with his thoughts he almost missed Kane’s question.

“So Shawn
will never need me to protect him like a mate and an Alpha should?” Kane was growling which was not a good thing.

Oh crap, and then there was the whole Alpha thing.  Kane is going to feel
emasculated by Shawn’s very existence.  This was worse than Shawn had ever believed possible.  Feeling the tension in Kane’s hand, Shawn pulled away from him and wished the earth could just swallow him up. If he thought losing Kane before they had mated was bad enough, now the feeling of loss was a million times more.

“Look at me, both of you.”  Shaman Paulo’s voice was firm
and both men looked up - confusion and aggression on Kane’s face, and sadness on Shawn’s.

The Shaman addressed Kane first.  “You Kane were fated to be with Shawn because you are an Alpha of incredible power in your own right.
Not just physically but mentally and spiritually as well. You have the strength and conviction to be true to yourself.  You are honest and decent and you genuinely care for anyone who needs your help.  Shawn may not need you to fight his physical battles, but in his heart he is not a fighter which is why he has never wanted to lead a pack of his own. Guardians don’t like to fight, it is just some times it is unavoidable. There will be many times when you will want to and indeed will have to fight for him.  And more importantly he needs that from you.”

Kane thought back to the previous day when Shawn had stayed behind and healed Dean and Scott, allowing Kane to do what he did best
with the hunters.  He nodded, willing the Shaman to continue.

“You are also strong enough to ensure that Shawn’s powers
will never be used for anything evil.  Your union protects Shawn from ever being manipulated, coerced or forced into using his magic to harm others.  With you by his side to protect him, his magic will always be safe from harm.”

Kane
shuddered as thought about the potential of Shawn’s power and what it could do for someone like Xavier for example.  Xavier wouldn’t care that his evil actions would strip Shawn of his very essence.  If he had truly understood Shawn’s abilities he could have used it and abused it for his evil gains, without a thought of what it would do to Shawn. The Shaman was nodding now as he could see Kane starting to understand how important Kane was to keeping Shawn safe.  It wasn’t just physical strength. It was the power of their love and commitment to each other that would keep his mate safe.

“But I don’t feel any different.  Wouldn’t I feel the magic that you claim Shawn infused me with
?”

“What did you feel when Shawn claimed you as his own?”  Kane thought back over that incident and grinned to himself.

“Only that I had just had the most amazing orgasm of my life,” he said with an embarrassed grin.  But then he thought a moment more. “Wait.  The electricity.  It went throughout my whole body.  Is that what you are talking about?”

“How did it make you feel?”

“Amazing. Alive. Complete. Whole for the first time in my life.”

“That is because you have been wai
ting for Shawn your whole life. You have been together before and when you pass on from this life, you will be together again in the next.  Guardian’s don’t just mate for life they mate forever - although of course they have to physically claim each other in each lifetime just as you and Shawn have done.”

“But didn’t Kane have any choice in this?”  Kane wondered what must be going through Shawn’s mind to cause him to ask a question like that.

“Of course he did.  He could have refused you as his mate in this life, as is his right.  His wolf wouldn’t have been happy about it, because it would have recognized the magic in Shawn as that element he had been missing.  But Kane could have walked away.  That missing ‘thing’ that he has been looking for in his many other liaisons would have eluded him for life if he had ignored his feelings for you.  But that is the way of anyone who refuses their mate.  Eventually, the shifter spirit goes into despair and no longer wants to live and the human body falls soon after.  Why do you think the need for sex is so great when mates meet?  It is the Fate’s way of trying to ensure the connection.” 

The Shaman grinned at them both. Kane returned the grin but Shawn was still quiet, and Kane realized, still sad.  He quickly reached over and grabbed Shawn’s hand and pulled it to his lap, holding it with both hands. 
Shawn threw him a surprised look but left his hand in Kane’s, returning his attention to Paulo.

“You Shawn have to learn to let Kane help you.  Not because you are weaker than him, because obviously you are not.  But because it is what
both you and your mate needs.  He feeds your spirit. You need him so that you can be whole.  I can tell from your aura that you have spent far too much time alone and your upbringing has made you doubt that you would ever be good enough for someone you love so deeply, like you do Kane.  But he was chosen just for that purpose - to protect you and support you and to be with you so that you don’t have to be alone anymore.  You have searched for this your whole life so don’t let your insecurities cloud your judgment or the way you are with each other.  Trust in him to be strong when you need him to and to support you when it is your turn.  You are true partners in every sense of the word and that is just how it should be.”

Kane and Shawn sat quietly for a
while thinking about what the wiser man had said and the implications those words had for them as a couple. Then Shawn had another thought.

“So my mother and father were never truly mated were they?  Or she wouldn’t have died at birth.”

“No.  Your mother would have known the prejudice your father had about people like her, and I am not sure why she would have stayed with him long enough to have a child.  But she would have had her reasons and it is likely that after you were born, had she lived, she would have taken you from your father’s influence.  Unfortunately she didn’t have the chance. It is hard enough for human females to give birth to a shifter under normal circumstances and I can only guess that your mother knew the risk.  But then she would have been a Guardian too and I think she wanted you, more than she wanted to live her current life without her mate.”

Shawn thought about a woman he had never known.  Someone who commanded the same power he did, just in human form.  For her to decide to couple with a shifter must have been a huge decision and he wondered why she hadn’t waited to find her true mate.  But then of course life is fickle like that and maybe she had waited too long already.
By ending her own life through her decision to give birth, she was hopefully waiting now for her true mate to join her in the spirit world so the cycle of life for her could begin again.