The Royal Pain (6 page)

“T
his has been nice,” she said as they pulled up to the hotel.

“Yeah, a laugh a minute,” he said flatly. He put the car in park and slung an arm over the back of the seat, looking at her. “That's a new one for me. The snow bank.”

She giggled; she couldn't help it. “Not for me. I'm from Alaska.”

At last, at last he smiled. Oh, she loved that smile. “Spare me your snowy lovemaking ways. On second thought, don't.”

There was a pause, and she realized he was waiting for her to invite him up to her room.

“Thanks again for—” The tour. The smile. The fabulous big cock. The laugh. The ride. The other ride. “—for everything.”

“No big. Are you sure you don't…uh…need anything?”

“No. It's been a long day, and Jenny's going to want to debrief me. I'd better get up there.”

“Yeah, okay. Well, see you later.”

“I'm not sure,” she replied, “I'll have to check my schedule.” She opened her car door and stuck a leg out, only to stop in surprise when she felt his arm on her elbow.

“Just a minute here,” he said, squinting at her in the sudden glare of the dome light. “Just so we're clear,
I'm
giving
you
the brush-off. Right? I mean, we had a one-night stand and now I'm the one saying that was nice, see you never.”

“Oh, of course,” she assured him. “That seems fine to me.”

“Wait a minute!”

She stopped again in mid climb. “What?”

“It sounds like you think
you're
the one giving
me
the brush-off.”

“Well, I'm really going to be very busy in the next few weeks…”

“So am I!”

“Okay,” she said, trying to keep her temper. What the hell was this guy getting so worked up over? Not to sound like a reverse chauvinist, but he was a guy. He got laid and there weren't any strings. He should be zooming off into the dark, singing a happy tune. “So I guess this is good-bye.”

“Like hell it is!” he nearly shrieked.

“For God's sake, will you keep it down? There
are
people with guns around, you know.”

“I've got news for you,
Princess.
We're going on a
date
. Tomorrow.”

“But my itinerary…”

“Shove your itinerary up your tight ass.”

“You never mind my ass!” she cried, stung.

“We're going out. This was
not
a one-night stand. Repeat,” he added through gritted teeth, “after me.”

“This was
not
a one-night stand,” she parroted obediently.

“Damn right it wasn't! So cancel whatever you have to cancel; I'm picking you up at seven.”

“We could have a nice dinner in my hotel room,” she suggested.

“You're damn right we could!”

She finally escaped from the car, and watched from the sidewalk as he roared off.

T
he phone was ringing as she stepped into her hotel suite. Jenny rose to meet her, picked up the phone, and said, “Good evening, Your Majesty…yes, she's right here…at once, Sir.”

Alex took the phone, covered the receiver with her palm, and whispered, “I have to shift some things around tomorrow night.”

Jenny looked vaguely alarmed. “Yes, Princess.”

“I'll tell you about it later. Get to your own room; it's late.”

“Yes, Princess, and good night.”

Alex slumped onto the couch, returned Jenny's wave, kicked off her shoes, and said, “What are you still doing up, Dad?”

“Me? How about you? It's, what, three o'clock in the morning there? The hell? What have you been doing?”

“Meeting the locals.” She swallowed a yawn. “Shouldn't you be signing a bill into a law or something?”

“Off my case, you little jerk. Did you know about this?”

“About what, Dad?” she asked patiently.

“That this little trip was going to be practically for a month!”

“Dad, my schedule's been on your desk for over a week.”

“So? I still say they tricked me.”

“Read your damn schedules,” she told the king, “and quitcher bitchin'.”

“Nice way to talk to your father. And your sovereign!”

“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty.”

He chuckled. “Bet
that
tasted bad.”

“I can do the dance when I want. We all can, isn't that right? How's the baby?”

“Fiendishly smart.”

“How's Nicky?”

“Got tossed out of A.L. Prep for blowing up the teacher's lounge.”

“Ooooh, ouch! What a budding sociopath you're raising, Your Majesty.”

“Me! This is all Edmund's fault. I just have to figure out how. The boy's on his way back; he's due in here a couple hours. Then he gets the reaming of his life. You're lucky you're there, because the press is going apeshit here.”

She shuddered. “Makes me glad I'm a thousand miles away. On the other hand, if people think he's dangerous, they won't mess with him.”

“Uh…yeah.” The king coughed. “Anybody giving you trouble out there? Funds doing okay?”

“Dad, it's only been a day, my funds are fine. And everybody's very nice. Except this one guy—Dr. Rivers.”

“So, get rid of him.”

“No, I kind of like that he's so grumpy. Seriously, I don't think he gives a tin shit that I'm a Baranov.”

“I smell fortune hunter.”

“You wouldn't if you'd seen his…clothes.” She'd almost said “underwear.”

“They're the worst kinds. The poor ones.”

“I thought you said the ones who had a little money but were greedy for more were the worst ones.”

“Well, they're more guidelines than rules. I still think you should get rid of him if he's bugging you. Have Jenny take care of it.”

“I dunno, he's okay.” She could hear herself slipping into her father's speech pattern; the first voice she had ever heard, the one she loved the most. “I'm thinkin' about seein' him again tomorrow.”

“Oh.”

“Like I said, he's bugging me, but in a good way.”

“Seeing him, like on a date?”

“That's what he said. Insisted, actually.”

“Well, good for you! And you may, once I get the paperwork on him—”

“Dad!”

“—and Jenny and your guards turn in their reports—”

“Daaaaaaaaaaad!”

“What? It's standard op, sweetie.”

“Embarrassing, is what it is,” she grumbled.

“Tough titty.”

“Language!”

“Look who's talking,” he said, and laughed and hung up with a loud click.

“…and we've moved the fund-raising dinner to Wednesday, to accommodate your…private meeting…with Dr. Rivers.”

“Snarky, snarky,” Alex said, not looking up from the newspaper.

“He isn't worthy of your interest, Your Highness, and I can't help it if that's how I feel.” Jenny's lip actually curled. Alex was amazed. “Dr. Rivers. Hmph.”

“You sound about sixty years old when you do that.”

“He could have shown more respect.”

“Yes, he could have,” she said, smiling. “But he didn't.”

Her suite was on the eastern side of the hotel, and the sun had come up in a blaze of spring glory, making all the silverware and dishes look as though they were on fire. Truly, a gorgeous day. And best of all, no nightmares! Instead, she had paced and thought and fretted and read, the grumpy Dr. Rivers never far from her mind.

“Another thing, Your Highness, if you'll allow me.”

“Mmmm?”

“I don't think—that is—I noticed that—”

She yawned. “Spit it out, Jenn.”

“I don't think forcing yourself to stay awake is the best solution for your…problem.”

Alex turned the page, skimmed the “Lifetime” section, read about her arrival in town, and after the long, heavy silence, Jenny took the hint and busied herself with returning phone calls and distributing the many flower bouquets sent to honor the Princess on her journey to the Midwest.

 

“O
oooh,” Teal teased, walking into Shel's office. “Got a big date?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” He was practically strangling himself trying to get the knot right in his tie, and for what?
She
certainly didn't seem the type to care. “And you're coming with me.”

“Aw.” Teal moved a stack of journals to one side and sat in the chair. “That's really sweet, Shel, but I think of you as a friend. I'm not saying I don't find you attractive, because you're a good-looking guy, but I think we shouldn't risk ruining our friendship by taking it to the next level.”

“Are you done?”

“No. Be gentle, it's my—”

“Shut the hell up and help me tie this thing.” Teal obligingly got up and, with a few deft motions, had a neat Windsor tied. Shel nearly cried with relief. “Thanks.”

“I can tie a fly on a line so fine you can't see it, I can do a tie. Anything for you, beautiful.”

“And you're coming with me, like I said. I'm seeing Alex, and you're going to take her ‘I must be everywhere the Princess is' gal-pal out.”

Teal's green eyes widened. “Jenny? That gorgeous brunette who looks like—”

“Shania Twain, yeah, yeah, I heard you babbling about that while I was rotting in jail. That American singer, right?”

“Canadian, you dumbass. And ninety minutes of cell time isn't exactly rotting—”

“So will you do it?”

“No.”

“Goddammit!”

Teal sighed and looked down at his red T-shirt and faded jeans. “Not that I wouldn't love some face time with the looker, but I'm not really dressed for it.”

“Good. They won't suspect we're trying to break them up.”

“Oh, brain–dead, are they?”

“Just shut up and get your coat.”

“You're so bitchy when you're trying to get laid.”

“Coat. Grab. Now.”

“I notice you didn't deny it.”

“Move faster.”

“Has the Princess seen this side of you?”

“Sure.”

“Just checking.”

“T
hey're on the way up,” Jenny reported.

“‘They'?”

“Apparently Dr. Rivers felt the need for a chaperone.” This in a tone of grudging approval.

Alex raised her eyebrows. “You're kidding.”

“No, Highness.”

“A chaperone?”

“Yes, Highness.”

“Weird.”

“No, proper.”

“Proper!” the princess hooted. “Ha! Exactly the sort of thing that springs to mind when I think of Shel Rivers.”

There was a quick rap at the door. It was pushed open by one of her team members, and in walked Shel and his nice-looking friend, the fellow with the funny name.

“Hello, Mr. Grange!” Jenny said, with a little more enthusiasm than Alex privately thought was necessary.

“Teal,” he corrected her, holding out a ham-size hand for her to shake. “Nice to see you again.”

Jenny flicked invisible dust off her lapels. “It was kind of you to accompany Dr. Rivers this evening.”

“Yes,” Grange replied, pushing his glasses further up on his nose. “It sure as shit was.”

“I'm afraid I only had dinner sent up for two,” Jenny said nervously, smoothing her navy skirt. Alex wondered if she'd start disrobing out of sheer nervousness. Had she ever seen Jenny this jittery? She had not. “But I can certainly call and—”

“Why don't we go out?” Teal asked.

“Oh. Oh! I, uh, couldn't do that.” She gestured in Alex's direction. “My job. I mean, the princess. I mean, I can't do that. But you're very very very very very very nice to ask. Really nice.” She gasped for breath. “Very very nice.”

“Are you all right?” Dr. Rivers asked, honestly puzzled.

“Yes,” she said, fanning herself with sheet six of the day's itinerary.

Alex pinched her lower lip between her thumb and fore-finger, so she wouldn't laugh. She'd never seen Jenny look so defiant and crushed (and cyanotic!) at the same time. “Don't be silly,” she said, after she was sure she wouldn't snort, or giggle. “You and Teal can go out. Dr. Rivers and I can stay here in my suite.”

“Your Highness—”

“Security's a lot better here than at the—than at other places,” Shel pointed out cheerfully. He winked at her and, feeling like a conspirator, Alex winked back.

“No no no no no, I couldn't.”

“Sure you could,” Teal said, grabbing her by the elbow. “You like Chinese? No? Good, because the closest Chinese place sucks. How about American? You like American? I know a great burger place. They serve 'em as big as your head!”

“But—”

“Bye,” Alex said, holding the door for them.

“But—”

“Bye,” Shel said, closing the door on them.

They looked each other in the sudden silence of the room, and burst out laughing.

“F
irst trip to Minot?”

“Yes,” Jenny replied stiffly.

“So, whaddya think?”

“It's very nice.”

“Are you, uh, gonna be this tense all night?”

“I shouldn't be here,” she explained. “My job.”

“Like that Alex gal would let you hang around if she didn't want you to.”

“Well,” Jenny began helplessly.

“Besides, I jumped at the chance to see you again.”

Jenny nearly knocked over her water glass. “You—you did?”

“Sure.” He sucked up a terrifying mound of spaghetti, then downed the rest of his beer, then took another bite. “Your burger okay?” he asked with his mouth full.

“It's fine, I had actually eaten before you arrived.”

“Well, shit, why'd you order it?”

“You ordered it,” she reminded him. “But it's fine. As I said, it was kind of you to take me out.”

“You kiddin'? I haven't been able to quit thinking about you, good lookin'. Has anyone ever told you—”

“Yes.” She couldn't help smiling a little. “Including you.”

“Well, there you go. Not that there's not more to you than being really pretty.”

“Oh, there isn't,” Jenny replied straight-faced.

“Finally, she loosens up!”

“You're very—I mean, I like your outfit.”

“Aw, come off it. I said I jumped at the chance to see you again; I didn't say I had any advance warning. You think I dress like
this
for a date?”

“I'm not dressed well, either,” she admitted.

“What, you kidding? You look like a million bucks.”

“This is a second-day suit,” she explained. “Something I wear on the job. Not at all appropriate for private socializing.”

“Well. I didn't want to say anything, but you
do
look a little…starchy.”

“Oh, that's good,” she said earnestly.

“You should get yourself some jeans and a few T-shirts. Maybe some a' those, what do you call them…the rubber sandals—flip flops!” he finished triumphantly as the words came. “Red ones.”

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes.” He leered at her in a friendly way and beckoned to the waitress. “So, how long do you think those two are going to need to do it?”

This time she did knock over her water glass, then sat in embarrassed silence until the waitress cleaned up the mess and departed. “I—uh—that's really none of my—our—concern.”

“God, you act like you never had to do a discreet vamoose while the princess got some mmm-hmm.” He raised a fist to eyebrow level and wiggled it back and forth.

“It's not part of my job description,” she replied stiffly.

“I bet you could write a book filled with all the shit you do that isn't in your job description.”

“I would
never
.”

“Okay, okay, calm down, I don't have a book contract in my pocket. Listen, I figure, two hours should do it. I mean, I've got to get up early tomorrow for work. And I bet you do, too. And frankly, Shel can't be
that
good.”

“What—what is it you do?”

“I'm a hunting and fishing guide.”

“Oh, how interesting.”

“Yeah? Because you sounded less than thrilled.”

“I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just…I'm from Alaska. Hunting and fishing is a primary way of life for most people.”

“Oh, yeah? So it's like a guy telling you he sells copiers or whatever?”

She smiled. “Something like that.”

“So, what's your dream date's dream job?”

“We shouldn't be talking about this. Your job is fine. Honorable. It's fine. It's really fine.”

“Come on…fess up. What's your future husband's dream job?”

“That's private,” she said primly.

“Stripper? Candygram guy? Cop? Palace guard?”

“It's none of your business, Mr. Grange.”

He beat the table with the palms of his hands. “Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.”

“Mr. Grange.”

He pouted, which was alarming on a man as large as he was. “Fine, don't tell me.”

“As should be clear, I wasn't planning to.”

“Exotic dancer? Cab driver? Kindergarten teacher? Paramedic?”

“I must admit, the more you snivel, the less I want to tell you.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I'm all done sniveling, how about that?”

She stifled a sigh as she stole another glance. It was ridiculous, how wonderful he looked, even in casual clothes. Normally she liked her men in Saville Row, but Teal looked fabulous despite what he was wearing. It was the broad shoulders, she decided. No, the hair. No, the glasses—they made him look smart and tough. No, the eyes. The green, green eyes. A pity he was so childish. So large and childish. And large.

And perhaps the smallest bit insensitive. Imagine, she had mentioned her vegetarian proclivities in the car and he had
still
ordered her a burger.

“—should be safe to go back after dessert.”

“Of course,” she replied.

“You want to split a tiramisu?”

“Of course,” she said again.

The eyes. Definitely the eyes.