Read The School of Flirting Online
Authors: S. B. Sheeran
Going Home
…
Even though my heart still ached from time to time, in a way I buried my head in the sand. Classes were becoming more difficult as finals approached and even Flirt School seemed more intense. It was still a lot of fun, but now there was a growing under current of sexual tension. Students may not have been allowed to date each other until after the eight week program, but they weren’t planning on wasting a second afterwards. Cell numbers were exchanged, shoulders were rubbed, and all the flirt techniques were in active use.
Although I generally loved studying with Leann, I drifted away from her during Flirt School. I didn’t need to watch her get every girl’s phone number. Mostly Melanie made that easy by keeping our practice partners varied, but when class was over I was often left waiting while Leann socialized. One of those nights, Sachi approached me. She spoke in Japanese and the soft flow of our native language soothed me. I hadn’t realized how homesick I had become until I heard her.
“Won’t you come home with me?”
“I was just waiting…” I looked over a Leann and wondered why I was waiting. She looked happy. I could just walk away and save myself the discomfort. It wasn’t like I didn’t have my own keys to our rooms.
“I wanted to talk you.”
“Alright… Let’s go.” I tried to give Leann a silent wave to let her know I was going, but then gave up. She’d figure it out. With Sachi at my side, I slipped out of the classroom and climbed the stairs. Out in the cool night air, we hugged our jackets closer and started walking towards the residential buildings.
“I’m in building E.”
“I’m in A. It’s the closest one to the commons.”
“I know.”
That made me smile. She was still so brash. Of course she knew where the building was, but you weren’t supposed to say so. Small talk is just supposed to put everyone at ease. She went on:
“I wanted to tell you that I’m going back to Japan after this semester is over.”
“Oh yes? Are you visiting your grandparents?”
“No. I’m moving back.”
I sucked in a breath. How I’d wished Leann would say something stunning like this. But fate was a terrible prankster. It was Sachi who would wind up back in Kyoto with me.
“My father is being transferred back to company headquarters and the whole family is moving back with him, of course. I thought you should know... In case we run into each other.”
“Are you sad to leave America?”
“I thought I would be. But now… maybe I have something to look forward to at home.”
We stopped under the street lamp next to the dorm entrance. I kept my eyes down on our shoes; wondering what on earth I should say here. As if reading my mind, Sachi said, “You don’t have to answer. It’s not a question I’m putting to you. I know I’m not your first choice.”
There. She’d done it again. Putting it all out there so fast and so boldly that she didn’t give anyone else a chance to catch up or make a decision of their own. I started to get mad. How could she put me in this position? There was nothing I could say that would give me time to think. Anything I said would only confirm or deny; hurt or give hope for something I wasn’t ready to promise.
The pressure of the situation added to all the stress that I was already carrying and overwhelmed me. “We aren’t even friends!!” I blurted. Then I covered my mouth and ran for it.
Tears
…
I was still crying when Leann got home.
She dropped her bag and came running over to hug me. “Mina! Are you okay?”
“You were my first kiss you know.”
“Of course I was. We were thirteen.” She said with a bewildered laugh. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not why you are crying now.”
“It was amazing. I thought it was going to last forever.”
“Oh.”
“And then you moved away. I thought that if I wrote enough letters you’d come back one day. And I know that’s just a child’s day dream but…but…”
“I’m going to miss too. It was really hard back then and it isn’t much easier now.”
“Will you kiss me again?”
“Mina…” Leann looked reluctant. “We said we wouldn’t because it won’t last. You’re going home. I’m staying here.”
“That doesn’t matter!” I said bitterly “You kiss everyone! And more. Your phone is filled with girl’s phone numbers. You aren’t going to be with them forever either. Why not me?”
Leann wiped the tears from my cheeks.” Okay”. She whispered “okay.”
Taking me by the hand she led me back to her room; the same room where we sat around gossiping and painting our toenails. It was still a mess. Clothes spilled out of the closet and it was completely unclear what was dirty and what was clean. Her bed spread was crumpled up at the foot of the bed and the sheets were tangled from the night before. I tiptoed carefully behind her but still managed to step on something. It cracked loudly and Leann looked back at me chagrinned, “I’m sorry. I know it’s a mess.” Suddenly I was laughing even though the tears weren’t even dry on my cheeks.
“This place is more than a mess. It’s a wreck. A complete wreck.
I’m
a wreck.”
Leann stood there awkwardly waiting. Waiting to give me whatever it was I thought I needed. What an amazing friend. A heartbreakingly perfect best friend. And that’s all. I couldn’t make love to her. I loved her, but I wasn’t
in
love with her. Languages can be so limiting at times like this. I shook my head and smiled. Leann received my message loud and clear. She shot me a relieved lopsided grin. We climbed into her ridiculously messy bed anyway, and slept like sisters. Leann wrapped her arms around me and at last I let go of my first love.
In the morning, I felt lighter. All the tears from the night before had left me feeling renewed and, even though my leaving date hadn’t changed, it didn’t weigh on me so heavily. I thought about calling Sachi. I felt bad about how we had left things the night before. I snuck out of Leann’s room and scooped my phone up off the kitchen counter. Rolling it around in my hands I tried to think of what I would say.
The truth was, I was still in the same predicament that Sachi had put me in last night. If I called her to apologize I would be accepting her into my life. You don’t call up strangers to say I’m sorry. You call up people who have some place in your world. I pictured how the call would go. I would say sorry. She would say that’s okay. Then…an uncomfortable silence. One of us might say ‘see you soon’ and that was it. She would wait for me. We would be involved.
I blew the hair out of my face and stuffed the phone into my back pocket. No. I wasn’t ready to commit to even that. It was enough to bask in my current lightness of my heart. I promised myself I wouldn’t think about Sachi soon. Later.
Finals
…
Friday was busy. The weekend was a wild rush because there was so much I wanted to do before I left America. I hadn’t played pool yet! How could I leave without trying that? And the movies!! We had to go to the movies again. Of course there are movie theaters in Japan but they are so expensive. Plus, the movies all seem to be sad stories about pets or heroes fighting rubber monsters. I’m not even kidding.
So, yes, I put off making a decision about Sachi. By Monday night I realized I had to call her right away but…I still hadn’t thought about whether I want to be her friend or acquaintance or friend with benefits. I panicked and pigged out on pizza instead. On Tuesday morning I decided it was too late. I had left it too long and now it would be just weird to apologize for something that happened last week. It phone call wouldn’t do at this point. I would have to apologize in person at the next Flirt school meeting. But I had forgotten the next class was final exams.
Leann and I arrived at class with a few minutes to spare, only to find the folding chairs set out in the hallway and a sign taped to the class room door. It said “Congratulations! Finals are here! Please take a seat until instructed.”
It felt as though the floor had dropped out from underneath me. I whipped around to look at Leann.
“Finals?!” I squeaked in horror.
Leann raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You forgot it was final exams this week? No wonder you weren’t as stressed out as you usually get about tests.”
My mouth worked and I’m afraid I looked like a fish out of water. “Why- why didn’t you tell me??!”
“I thought you knew. But hey, don’t get worked up now. It’s not like we actually get credits for this class.”
“Don’t be so casual!! Melanie put her heart into teaching us and we owe her our best effort!” I was so busy flipping out I hadn’t noticed the rest of the girls filtering in and taking seats. Until Sachi slid by me. I felt her presence like the charged air before a summer thunderstorm. Was she mad? I wanted to apologize but now there was no time!
As if to hammer home that point, Melanie burst into the hallway with her signature clap to call our attention. I sat down immediately and tried my best to focus on the task at hand. I’d figure out my personal life later.
“Girls! It is finally here. Finals! It’s with mixed emotion I give you this last class. You have all done such an incredible job. So let’s work hard one last time and finish off this amazing session of Flirt School. Now for your instruction: for our final exam, you will be working in pairs.” Several girls gasped and tittered. Melanie smiled indulgently before continuing. She did seem to enjoy the showmanship of her role as Flirt School headmistress. “I have a bag full of scrabble letters here. Each of you will pull a letter and the holders of matching letters will do their testing together.”
I hoped I got Leann and then I changed my mind. She would probably make me laugh too much. Pauline would make a better match. She was serious…studied hard.
Melanie continued, “You’ll come into the class room, pretend to be strangers and then, using lessons from each week of classes, you will flirt with each other. But don’t worry if you are the kind person who gets nervous mid oral testing. The lessons are listed up in order on the whiteboard and you are welcome to double check them as you go along. Okay? Everyone got it?” We all nodded. “Oh and please don’t talk out here. This wall is paper thin. I’ll pass out the letters now.”
As I dipped my hand into the letter bag I prayed under my breath. Anyone but Sachi. Please not Sachi.
“Letters A please? Okay! Pauline and Jane are our first match! Come on in.”
Melanie shut the door and the rest of them women left in the hall, silently compared letters. I searched everyone’s faces. I had letter E… Only one person wasn’t playing the comparison game. At the far end of the hallway, with a book open in her lap, was Sachi.
Icebreakers
…
One after another, partners got up, disappeared in to the class room and then came out again. They smiled and waved, whispering good luck before climbing the stairs and leaving the rest of us behind. Finally it was just Sachi and I left. She still hand lifted her eyes from her book and I …I hadn’t tried to interrupt her. Through the wall I could hear the last team thanking Melanie and promising to keep in contact. Any minute now it would be our turn.
“Sachi…” I began. But she stood up abruptly. Melanie was in the doorway, ushering us in.
“Okay ladies! Come on in. You are the last pair. Save the best for last, right?”
My stomach hurt. I’ve always been a nervous test taker and this situation was gas on the fire. I stared at the list on the whiteboard:
Body positioning. Eye contact. Nonverbal communication. Ice Breakers. Small Talk.
‘You only fail if you don’t try,’ I counseled myself.
Melanie took her seat, while Sachi and I took our places at the front of the room. “Okay. You may start whenever you are ready.”
Sachi finally met my eyes and it felt like a slap. She looked hurt. She turn slightly and did that subtle flip of her hair that I remembered so well. But with the pained look in her eyes I suddenly felt like she was speaking just to me and she was saying: I showed you my heart. I was soft for you. Don’t you care?
I wanted to shout ‘But I do care! I’m sorry.’ Instead I leaned towards her. My shoulders and rib cage lifting showing that I yearned to be closer.
She looked away.
I looked at my feet.
Where we just acting or was this our real conversation. I flicked my gaze back at her, searching for clues to her real feelings. But she had already put herself out there… now it was my turn. Softly I smiled and raised my eyes hopefully. Will you accept an apology? Would you let me make up for being so foolish?
She looked at the white board. Her shoulder a bit cold…still mad at me. I wished I could talk and plead my case but we were still on nonverbal communication. Bombing this final for us wouldn’t make her think of me kindly.
Suddenly I had an idea. My bag was still hung across my shoulders. I fished around blindly until I grabbed my bottled soda. Pulling it out I twisted the lid. “Pssst!” the soda hissed loudly and Sachi automatically looked over. I gave her a cheeky smile and lifted the drink towards her in a silent offer. Want some?
She shook her head no.
“Good, good,” Melanie cut it. “Now on to the icebreakers. Sachi, you first.”
Sachi’s eyes still seemed cold to me. She continued to look at my soda and then said softly, “You shouldn’t drink soda. It’s bad for your health.”
Now it was my turn. Relieved to be able to speak again, I immediately opened my mouth… but nothing came out. I looked down at the open soda I was still holding, but she had already used it as her icebreaker. Where did that leave me? What could I say to start a conversation? Suddenly I remembered one of Leann’s old pickup lines.
“Hey. How much does a polar bear weigh?”
Sachi’s eyes widened and then her brow furrowed. I could almost feel her confusion. “Uh…I don’t know…”
“Enough to break the ice.” I said wiggling my eyebrows just like Leann did.
Sachi burst out laughing. And then she smiled at me and it was like sun through the clouds; bright and warm and so very welcome. From there our small talk flowed naturally and it was almost a surprise when Melanie interrupted us again.
“Annnnd that’s it! You are done! What a great job, ladies. I think I really did save the best for last. You two were a perfect pair. My only criticism would be that, Sachi you still look a bit angry during initial eye contact and body positioning.” Sachi frowned slightly and shot me an accusing side glance. Yes, it was my fault but I could still tell that she was going to forgive me.