Authors: Jean Nash
“That proves my point, Susanna,” he said with a smile. “I was talking solely about the owl. You read something else into my words.”
Susanna straightened up and faced him directly. “That’s not true, Jay, and you know it. Let’s stop fencing with each other, shall we? You were talking about Teddy. And while I don’t want to interfere in matters that don’t concern me—”
“Teddy?” he said in genuine surprise. “I wasn’t talking about him. Why do you—?”
“Jay, for heaven’s sake!” she burst out. “What’s happened between you and Teddy? On Easter Sunday, you acted so strangely about him. You’ve treated him well for the past few weeks, but tonight— Well, I just wish you’d tell me what’s wrong instead of filling my head with all sorts of preposterous notions.”
“Susanna, what the devil are you talking about? I tell you, I wasn’t talking about Teddy. And what preposterous notions do you mean?”
She paused, then said reluctantly, “It occurred to me that you might be jealous of him.”
“Jealous of Teddy?” His voice went suddenly quiet, that same cat-quiet voice, which earlier had escaped her notice but which now raised the hairs on her arms. “Do I have reason to be?”
“Certainly not!” she said, indignant. “But by the way you’re behaving—”
“If my behavior distresses you, I apologize. But it suddenly occurs to me, Susanna, that you’re inordinately protective of Teddy.”
“Protective of him? Because I want to know why you act so oddly whenever I mention him? No, Jay. That’s curiosity, not protectiveness. What’s Teddy done to turn you against him?”
Jay stood up, slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and looked out to sea. His posture was relaxed, but there was an ominous rigidity to the strong line of his jaw.
Susanna rose, too. “Jay, please tell me what’s wrong.” She was concerned for him now. “I know Teddy has displeased you in some way. And if it’s not jealousy—”
He turned to her so suddenly that she stepped backward in alarm. “Maybe it is jealousy,” he said roughly. “Maybe I don’t like the way you always take his side, or the way you look at him sometimes.”
“Don’t be silly,” she said sensibly. “It’s you I love, Jay. Teddy is a special friend, that’s all. He’s been so good for the Sea Star. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to him.”
“You’ve told me that ad nauseam, Susanna. Your letters were filled with praise of him. It’s difficult for me to believe that his professional expertise is what’s made him such a god in your eyes.”
“That’s absurd,” she said, but a dart of unease tightened her nerves. “If you’re suggesting that I consider Teddy other than a business associate, you couldn’t be more mistaken. He’s simply a sympathetic and—”
“You needn’t reiterate his virtues,” Jay stopped her. “It begins to grow tiresome.”
She stared at him, bewildered. This was totally unlike him. She knew he had much on his mind, and that the Excelsior was consuming all his energies. But Jay was such a sensible man. Surely he must know that she loved no one but him.
“Jay, listen to me,” she said reasonably. “You’re tired and overwrought. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Perhaps I do go on too much about Teddy. But you must understand—”
“Be still!” he commanded. “You’re not dealing with one of your feebleminded local yokels here. I understand more than you think I do.”
Jay’s face was hard, suffused with a fury Susanna had seen only once before, on the night he told her of the man who had betrayed him.
“Jay, stop it,” she said. “This is all a lot of nonsense. Teddy is only—”
“Goddamn you!” he said fiercely, and seized her by the arms. “Stop talking about him. I’m sick to death of hearing his name on your lips.”
She was frightened now. His hands were bruising her arms. His eyes, dark and dangerous, sent a tremor of fear through her.
He shook her once, hard, driven it seemed by some deep-seated demon. “Do you know what you’ve done to me, you little sea-witch?” he grated. “You’ve turned my world upside-down. Until you came along, my life was my own, no distractions, no intrusions. Then you lured me to your island, bewitching me with your sad song, playing the innocent virgin. And the minute my back is turned—”
“Jay, for the love of heaven, what are you saying?”
“The minute my back is turned,” he raged on, “you start practicing your sexual wiles on someone else. Do you think I’m blind? I know how you feel about him. Every word out of your mouth is in praise of him. You smile at him as if he’s the axis around which your entire world revolves.”
“That’s not true!” she cried, outrage and insult superseding her fear. “How dare you suggest such a thing? Get out of my sight. I never want to see you again!”
She twisted out of his grasp. When he reached out to seize her again, she drew back her hand and struck him hard across the face.
Neither of them moved. Susanna was instantly sorry she’d resorted to violence. She never once stopped to think that Jay was the one who had initiated the violence. Her throat ached. Her mouth began to tremble.
He stared at her in silence. She thought he was going to turn away, walk out of her life, and never return. But with a suddenness that immobilized her, he reached out for her roughly, pulled her hard into his arms, and his mouth came down on hers with a passion that swept the breath from her lungs.
Her arms went around his neck, and her mouth submitted to the onslaught of his. She forgot that he had frightened and insulted her. All logic deserted her. She knew only emotion. She knew only that she loved him—more than life, more than honor—and that without him, life and honor had no meaning at all.
He pressed her closer, his kisses grew fiercer. Susanna felt dizzy and faint, helplessly spinning in an inescapable eddy of longing and love. Jay sank to his knees, pulling her down alongside him. He eased her down on the blanket, then covered her body with his. “I want you,” he breathed. “I want you now, I want all of you. I’ll never let you go.”
A thrill of desire shot through her. She wanted him, too. She loved him so much. She could feel the heat of his passion, no less violent than hers. His hands caressed her face, her throat, her quivering breast. Breathless with wanting him, she drew his head down to hers and pressed feverish kisses to his sensuous mouth. He fumbled at her clothing. With a trembling hand, she aided him. After a moment, she felt his flesh on hers, burning her, scorching her, exciting her, thrilling her.
She caught her breath sharply as he entered her, hurting her, but pain became a memory when the ecstasy rushed in. For a time he didn’t move. She could feel him inside her, she could feel his racing heart keeping tempo with hers. As inexperienced as she was, she knew that he was fearful of hurting her further, but her desire was such that she no longer felt pain, only a swift headlong yearning such as she’d never felt before.
Her arms tightened around him. The muscles of his back were corded with tension. She entwined her legs with his and arched her body closer to receive the full measure of his love. His lips parted hers. She felt him shudder with pleasure, then with one long erotic movement, he slid himself deeply inside her.
A moan escaped her lips as he grasped her hips and drove into her with a passion that equaled hers. She couldn’t have enough of him. She kept kissing him, touching him, moaning his name, aching for more of him. His mouth and hands possessed her. She was completely in his thrall. As he pressed her even closer, her passion crested and broke, sending torrents of rapture through every vibrating fiber of her being.
An hour might have passed, or a day, or an aeon. Jay lay heavily atop her, his lips at her throat, his fingers entangled in the masses of her hair. Susanna’s mind hummed with pleasure. She stroked his quivering back. He belonged to her now, as fully as she belonged to him. No vow of marriage, no earthly sanction, could rival the blessed union that had joined them together on this night.
“I love you,” she whispered, her lips brushing his jaw. “I love you more intensely than I ever thought possible.”
He was still a part of her, he had not withdrawn. He raised his head and kissed her mouth, a deep, slow, penetrating kiss that reawakened the hunger he had so recently sated in her.
“You
are
a sea-witch,” he said in a low voice. “When we’re apart, I can think of nothing but you. When we’re together, when I touch you, my will is not my own. No one’s ever gotten under my skin the way you have. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
“Just love me,” she said softly, “the way I love you.” She took his face in her hands and looked deep into his eyes. “You do love me, Jay? You haven’t said it in so long.”
His hands covered hers and he kissed first one palm, then the other. “I love you so intensely that sometimes I can’t breathe for the pain of it.”
He moved over on his side, adjusted her clothing, and brought her snugly into his arms. “Susanna....” His tone was sober. “I want you to forgive me for—”
He said no more, but she knew what he meant. “For making love to me, Jay? But I’ve been wanting you to do that for the longest time.”
“So have I,” he said, “but that doesn’t make it right. We shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have forced you.”
She nestled against him. “You didn’t force me, you foolish man. Well, in a way you did.” She gave him a searching look. “Jay, you do know that I love only you, don’t you? That business about Teddy—”
“Forgive me for that, too,” he said sincerely. “I must have been out of my mind to suggest such a thing.”
“Then you
were
jealous?”
“Yes,” he said frankly. “If you want to know the truth, that’s why I came back to
Atlantic City
. Every time I read your letters, filled with praise for Teddy, I’d gnash my teeth and wish you were with me so that I could choke the life out of you. When I got to the Sea Star and saw you together, it was even worse. I wanted to murder both of you. I couldn’t think clearly, I couldn’t sleep at night. Every night I’d toss and turn in bed, seeing you smile at each other, knowing that he had shared so much with you that I hadn’t. I even went so far as to—“ He laughed self-consciously. “I began devising ways to do away with the both of you. I asked myself which way would be best. Bullets? A blade? A garrote? I’d fall asleep planning grisly deaths. It was more effective than counting sheep, I promise you.”
His words gave Susanna pause. Such murderous rage was beyond her comprehension. And for a rational man like Jay to be so violently swayed by jealousy was even more difficult for her to assimilate.
“Jay,” she said warily, “I don’t want to start another quarrel, but I think something else is bothering you about Teddy. Can you tell me what it is?”
He raised himself on an elbow and looked moodily out to sea. His eyes, so candid a moment ago, became dark and obscure. Susanna thought he might reveal the truth at last, but he only said distantly, “There’s nothing else, Susanna.”
She knew he was lying. She knew he didn’t trust her, and she couldn’t, for the life of her, think why. She’d just shared her soul with him, she’d given him her all. Was it unreasonable to expect him to confide in her?
Fifteen
On October 1, 1900, the Excelsior Hotel opened its doors with a fanfare that drew well-wishers from virtually every major city in the country. At twelve noon, under a dazzling sun in a cloudless sky, Jay Grainger cut the satin ribbon that spanned the hotel’s threshold. Mayor Stoy shook his hand. Franklin Murphy, the governor of
New Jersey
, gave a laudatory speech. John Philip Sousa conducted a medley of his marches, which brought foot-stamping cheers from the jubilant crowd.
The Boardwalk seemed too narrow to contain the elegant assemblage. Biddles and Rittenhouses had come from
Philadelphia
and now waited impatiently to sign their names to the hotel register. In the
Boston
contingent were Lowells, Lodges and Cabots. Leland Stanford’s imposing widow had traveled from
San Francisco
in her private railroad car. Astors and Vanderbilts were there, along with the most famous New Yorker of all, Theodore Roosevelt, the Vice President of the
United States
.
After the ribbon-cutting ceremony, hotel guests filed into the lobby, which was decorated with fragrant autumn flowers. Smilax twined gracefully about the great marble pillars. Two bronze chandeliers cast a sunburst of light on
Isfahan
carpets. Marble veneering and colorful mosaics on gold backgrounds reflected the Byzantine mode of the architecture.
People milled about, drinking champagne, nibbling on savory hors d’oeuvres, lavishly praising the happy proprietor. Susanna, at his side, was even happier than he. The success of the Excelsior was only half the source of her joy. She suspected—no, she was sure—that she was carrying Jay’s child.
This past summer spent with Jay had been the most glorious period of Susanna’s life. Ever since that night at Absecon Inlet, he rarely let her out of his sight. He insisted that she spend her days with him, whether working at the Sea Star or overseeing the completion of the Excelsior. With Teddy gone to
Boston
, it was like the old days, working side by side, each day a precious jewel because she was sharing it with the man she loved.
And the nights—ah, the nights! They would stroll on the Boardwalk or on the moonlit beach. They would talk or be silent, whichever mood struck them, but always they would touch, as if one could not exist without the life force of the other. Later, they’d retire to Jay’s suite at the
Brighton
, using the private entrance reserved for special guests. They would have some light refreshment, then, by silent agreement, they would move into the bedroom and leisurely disrobe, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
With each piece of clothing Susanna shed, Jay would kiss the warm skin she exposed for his view. His eyes would explore her, his hands would chart his progress, his mouth would stake claim on his priceless possession. Aching with desire, Susanna would twine her arms around him and press burning kisses to his plundering mouth. He would crush her to his heart, then take her to bed, and for hours on end he would make love to her.
She never spoke to him of marriage. She felt more like his wife than if their union had been sanctified by a dozen clergymen. No religious or civil ceremony could have bound them more absolutely than their physical love. The coming child was their pledge, proof of their mutual promise. For weeks Susanna had kept her blessed secret in a special corner of her heart. But today, the hour of Jay’s triumph, she would make him a gift of it.
Augusta and Ford had come down from
New York
to join in the festivities.
Dallas
was with them at the buffet, looking as smart as any New Yorker in a stylishly cut blue suit with a blue silk tie pierced by a platinum-based sapphire.
“You’ve lost weight,” he said to Susanna after she drifted away from Jay to spend time with her family.
“No, I haven’t,” she said, when in truth, morning sickness had taken its toll on her. Her tone was sharper than intended. She was on the outs with
Dallas
. For months now, at regular intervals, he’d been borrowing money from her. She was both angry and worried that he was in some sort of trouble.
“You have, darling,”
Augusta
chimed in, surveying Susanna’s figure with maternal concern. “Jay must keep you so busy that you haven’t time to eat a proper meal. Ford, what do you think?”
Ford looked not at Susanna’s figure but at the secret that glimmered in her eyes. “You do look thinner than when I last saw you.
Is
Jay overworking you?”
Susanna’s cheeks flooded with color. Surely Ford knew what she was trying to conceal. “I have been working hard,” she admitted, “but no more so than usual. Jay and I do a lot of walking. Perhaps that’s why I’ve lost a few pounds.”
Augusta
caught sight of some old friends across the room. “There are the Ballards! Let’s say hello to them.”
“You go on,” Ford said. “I’d like a word with Susanna first.”
Augusta
didn’t press the issue. She linked her arm through
Dallas
’s, and they went off to greet the Ballards.
Ford said after they left, “Now tell me the truth, Susanna. Is everything all right?”
“Yes, of course it is,” Susanna said cautiously.
“You’re sure?” Ford regarded her keenly. “There isn’t something you want to tell me?”
She very nearly said, “I’m carrying Jay’s child.” She wasn’t ashamed of it. She was happy and proud. But she couldn’t very well tell Ford when she hadn’t yet told Jay. “No, Ford, there isn’t.” She lowered her gaze.
“Susanna.” He cupped her chin with a hand. “Look at me, trust me. I’m your mother’s husband. I feel as if you were my own child. Jay can be unpredictable at times, even...volatile. I know how much that business in Baltimore bothered him. I hope he hasn’t done anything rash.”
Susanna was relieved. Ford knew nothing of her condition. He was simply worried about Jay. Oh, how kind he was! She had to restrain herself from throwing her arms around his neck.
“Ford, I’m grateful for your concern, but I think Jay’s over that now. I really do. He never talks about it. But then again, he rarely talks to me about things that bother him deeply.”
“Don’t take that to heart,” Ford said. “I’m his attorney, and there are matters he sees fit to keep secret even from me.”
“How odd,” she said, surprised. “Jay trusts you implicitly. He once told me that you were so rich he never had to worry you might betray him.”
Ford smiled thinly. “He said that, did he? How like him. I can count the people he trusts on the fingers of one hand.”
“How did you meet?” Susanna asked. “Jay never told me.”
“Under unfortunate circumstances,” Ford said. “Jay and my brother were co-owners of a hotel in Hartford.
Susanna was mystified. “Weren’t you angry with Jay?”
“No, I wasn’t. It was my brother I was enraged at.
“What an extraordinary story!”
Ford smiled and pinched her cheek. “You think anything concerning Jay is extraordinary.”
Susanna frowned a denial, then returned Ford’s smile.
“In any case,” he said, “I consider myself more Jay’s friend than his attorney. That’s why I was concerned about his reaction to the trouble in Baltimore. He won’t discuss it with me. He keeps saying, ‘It’s a dead issue; it’s over. Forget it.’”
“But the police haven’t learned who killed Alan Devlin, have they? Don’t you think Jay would want to know that?”
“I don’t know what he thinks anymore, Susanna. He no longer confides in me. I don’t know what I’ve done to lose his trust.”
The injury in Ford’s tone reminded Susanna of a similar situation. “Ford, you haven’t done anything. Jay behaved the same way with Teddy Addison. He never told him about the embezzlement, or that Alan was dead.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Ford said. “Where is Teddy, by the way? I haven’t seen him.”
“Jay sent him to
Boston
to manage the Fenway.”
“The Fenway? What about Tony Adams?”
“He’s been sent to
Baltimore
.”
“Why all the maneuvering? Why didn’t Jay keep Tony in
Boston
and send Teddy to
Baltimore
?”
“Ford, if you don’t know Jay’s reasons, I certainly don’t. He’s as much an enigma to me as when I first met him.”
“Susanna, do me a service,” Ford said abruptly. “Don’t tell Jay we had this conversation.”
At first she was mystified, but then she quickly agreed. Though their conversation had been innocent, she had a guilty suspicion that if Jay should learn of it, he would be very displeased that they had discussed him.
The celebration went on all day and far into the night. For a select number of guests, a lavish dinner, compliments of the management, was served in the grand dining room. Susanna sat at Jay’s side, resplendent in jade green silk, wearing an emerald necklace he had given her for the occasion.
After dinner, there was dancing. While Jay charmed the ladies, Susanna danced with the mayor, the governor, and even the boisterous Vice President, who bounced her around the dance floor like one of the broncos he liked to ride. At midnight, when she was finally alone with Jay, standing on the ballroom balcony, she rested her head wearily on his chest and was grateful that the day was nearly over.
“Are you tired?” he asked softly.
“I’m exhausted,” she said. “I can’t wait to go to bed.”
“I wish I could tuck you in,” he murmured against her hair.
She looked up at him questioningly. “But you will, won’t you? I had planned—“ She bit back the words, not wanting to spoil her surprise. “I especially wanted to be with you tonight...to celebrate the opening of the hotel.”
“That’s very tempting, Susanna, but have you forgotten Augusta and Ford are lodging at the Sea Star? How would it look if you creep up to your room in the wee hours of the morning and your formidable mother is waiting up for you?”
“Oh, bother my mother!” she said crossly. “Why does she have to spoil everything?”
“It’s just as well.” Jay released her and lighted a cigarette. “I have to leave early tomorrow morning.”
“You’re leaving? What are you talking about?”
“There’s some unfinished business I’ve been putting off,” he explained. “Now that the Excelsior’s been launched, I have no reason to stay here any longer.”
“Did I hear you correctly?” Susanna went rigid. “Did you say there was no
reason
to stay in Atlantic City?”