The Surgeon's New-Year Wedding Wish (13 page)

Without a word, Danny double-clicked on the game again. Quinn dropped his forehead into his hands, suddenly exhausted, feeling very much like he’d been run over by a cement truck.

He hated to ask for favors, but even once he was discharged, he wasn’t going to feel good enough to drive home. And Delores was in no condition to pick them up.

No doubt about it, he was going to have to ask Leila for help. One last time.

Right before he told her they couldn’t see each other anymore.

“Quinn?” At the sound of Jadon’s voice he prised his eyes open. “I’m going to wheel you back into the ED. Your IV fluids are finished, but I’m not going to discharge you until your vital signs are stable.”

Quinn scowled. “I’m sure they’re fine.”

Jadon cocked a brow. “Maybe. We’ll see.” He leaned over to release the brakes on Quinn’s wheelchair.

“Danny? Shut off the computer now,” he told his son.

“Why don’t you let him stay for a while?” Jadon asked. “Your office is safe enough and we can come and get him once you’re ready to go.”

Danny glanced over at the adults. “Please?”

How could he deny his son anything when he asked so nicely? He’d never get tired of hearing Danny’s voice. Ever. “No problem. But stay here, okay? No wandering around.”

Danny nodded again, his attention already back on the game. Jadon wheeled Quinn back toward one of the rooms in the arena. “I bet you’re happy he’s talking,” Jadon said.

“Yeah.” A massive understatement.

“So what’s going on with you and Leila?”

What? He stared at Jadon. “What do you mean? There’s nothing going on.”

Jadon’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. “Who do you think you’re kidding? I already know there was no lost bracelet. When you were lying unconscious in the
middle of the trauma bay, she told us you’d spent the night at her house but had seemed fine when you left in the morning.”

Quinn winced. “Ah, hell,” he muttered. Now the whole world would know. There were no secrets in Cedar Bluff. None.

“Hey, none of my business,” Jadon said, lifting a hand as if to ward off an attack. “But I was once sitting in your shoes, half in love with the best woman in the world but refusing to acknowledge it.”

“I’m not in love with her,” he said quickly, denying the sudden lurch in the vicinity of his heart. “We had a brief sexual fling, nothing more.”

A footstep behind him made him freeze.

“I see you’re feeling better, Quinn.” Leila’s voice, full of false cheerfulness, nearly made him wince again.

Talk about rotten timing.

He steeled himself to meet her gaze, nearly flinching at the wounded reproach in her eyes. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, that he hadn’t meant for her to find out this way.

But nothing he could say would change the facts.

Their relationship—no, their brief liaison—was over.

“I am better.” His voice sounded polite. Formal. As if they hadn’t spent the night lost in the pleasure of making endless love. “Thanks.”

She stared at him for a full minute, before giving a brief nod. “Good. Take care of yourself and Danny.”

“I will.” He clutched the arms of his wheelchair tightly to prevent himself from calling her back when she walked away.

“You are such a stupid ass.” Jadon’s tone betrayed his disgust.

Maybe.

He’d hurt Leila when he hadn’t meant to. The expression of betrayal in her eyes would haunt him for a long time. And he still didn’t have a ride home.

But Danny was talking again, sweet music to his ears. He had to accept his life as it was, no matter how much his heart ached.

L
EILA
blindly walked out of Quinn’s room, his blunt words echoing over and over in her head.

We had a brief sexual fling, nothing more.

Tears burned her eyes, but she held them back, refusing to cry. Hadn’t he warned her all he wanted was an affair right from the start? How stupid was she to let her emotions get involved when Quinn had made it perfectly clear he didn’t want anything but sex?

This was her fault. She’d known all along lust wasn’t love. And obviously those heated hours they’d spent together had really been nothing more than lust.

The realization made her feel sick. And not with flu.

She had patients to see. Work would help keep her grounded, just like it had after George had died. She could work with Quinn, keeping her distance. And if she couldn’t, she had the option of leaving Cedar Bluff.

She didn’t want to, but she could. She had no ties here anymore. None at all.

Leila left the ED, her path taking her past Quinn’s office.

The door was ajar and Danny was inside, playing games on the computer.

Her footsteps slowed, and then stopped. After a moment’s hesitation, she retraced her steps, pausing in the open doorway. “Hi, Danny. Having fun?”

The boy nodded somewhat absently, his attention on the game, until he abruptly let out a heavy sigh. “Rats. I lost again.”

“Bummer.” She ventured a little farther into the room, even though she knew Quinn wouldn’t be happy she was there, talking to Danny. She suspected he didn’t want her to get too close to his son, but she wasn’t sure why. “I wanted to thank you again for helping out with your dad. You were very brave.”

Danny abandoned the computer, swiveling back and forth on the rolling chair, his cast sticking out and his expression serious. “I was afraid he wouldn’t wake up. Like my mom. I shaked her and shaked her but she didn’t wake up.”

Dear God. She tried not to look shocked. “That must have been really scary for you, Danny.”

Danny bit his lip and nodded. “She died. My dad said she went to heaven to be an angel.”

She’d died? Danny’s mother had died? While Danny had been with her? She could just imagine the poor kid, trying over and over again to wake up his mom. Had he been all alone with his mom when she’d died? Was that the reason he’d stopped talking?

And was that the reason Quinn wasn’t interested in anything more than an affair? Because he was still in love with his dead wife?

“I bet she’s a wonderful angel,” Leila said in a choked voice. “And I’m sure she’s watching over you every minute.”

“Uh-huh.” Danny’s gaze focused on a spot over her shoulder and she turned to see Quinn standing there, scowling at them. “Hi, Dad.”

“Danny, we need to go. Seth is coming to pick us up.”

“Cool.” Leila handed Danny his crutches. He slid down from the chair and she put a hand on it to keep it steady for him. “Can I play with Ben today?”

“We’ll see.” Quinn still looked pale and none too steady, but the anger in his gaze, when he stared at her, was difficult to ignore.

For some reason, she hastened to defend herself. “Danny and I were just talking about how scared he was when you collapsed,” she said, keeping her voice low so Danny wouldn’t hear. “He was afraid you weren’t going to wake up, like his mom didn’t.”

A muscle twitched at the corner of his jaw. “So now you know the truth. You know why Danny stopped talking eighteen months ago. Maybe he was traumatized when his mother died but, as you can see, he’s better now. How dare you bring it up again, risking a serious setback?”

Shocked, she could only stare at him. “I didn’t. Danny brought it up.”

“Because you said something, I’m sure. Stay out of it, Leila,” he said harshly. “Leave the past alone.”

“Danny wasn’t the only one traumatized,” she argued, angry at the way he’d blamed her for pumping Danny for information. She really hadn’t. And, besides, maybe if Quinn had opened up about the past she would have known the truth before now and could have avoided any possibility of a setback for Danny. “You were, too. You lost your wife. I told you my husband
died, but you never said a word about being a widower as well.”

“Leave it alone,” he said, turning away to follow his son. “It has nothing to do with you.”

She reared back as if he’d slapped her. Nothing to do with her? Why? Because she was nothing to him? Not even a friend? He walked away and she sucked in a hard breath, wishing she could chase after him, grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. But she didn’t move. All she could do was stand there, in his office, feeling even worse than before.

Quinn had spent the night with her but, other than giving her the pleasure of his body, he’d shared nothing else with her.

Nothing.

And, obviously, he planned to keep it that way.

Leila was on call, but the trauma room was quiet and when she finally ran out of work to do she headed home, knowing she lived only five minutes away if a trauma call did come in.

Her house was dark. Silent. Empty.

More empty than she remembered.

She checked her computer, and as always went to the reunion Web site first thing, but there was still no word from the woman who’d claimed to be her mother. Obviously, this Maylyn Aquino didn’t have any proof that Leila was her daughter.

With a heavy sigh, she logged out of the reunion Web site. Nothing was going right for her. Not the possibility of finding her birth mother and certainly not the
sexual fling
she’d shared with Quinn. Unable to relax, she wandered around her small house, the unmistakable
scent of Quinn seemingly following her everywhere she went.

In her bedroom, his musky scent was by far the strongest and in a fit of despair she quickly stripped the sheets off her bed, marched them to the laundry room and dumped them into the washing machine. Then she lit dozens of pine-scented candles, including several in her bedroom, determined to get rid of the haunting scent.

She didn’t need any reminders of how stupid she’d been.

Stupid, so stupid to fall in love with him.

The knowledge came from nowhere and hit her hard, sucking the air from her lungs, nearly bringing her to her knees. Numb, she sank onto the sofa.

She loved Quinn.

When had it happened? How?

The love she’d shared with George had been so different. Gentle. Kind. A partnership, until he’d gotten so sick and then she’d cared for him until he’d died.

From the very beginning, being with Quinn had been nothing like the gentle caring she’d shared with her husband.

Yet the moment she’d seen Quinn crumpled on the ground next to his car, her heart had jumped into her throat. Panicked, she’d rushed to him, deathly afraid. Quinn had always been so strong, indomitable.

The passion between them had been earth-shattering. At least for her. Very different from what she’d had with George. Even after everything that had happened, she wanted Quinn. Knew she’d always want him.

She put a hand to the center of her chest, rubbing at
the ache as if it were a sore muscle she could massage better. There was no point in denying the truth—she loved him. With her whole heart and soul.

Too bad he didn’t feel anything even close to love in return.

Physically, Quinn felt better after twenty-four hours. Emotionally, he was as irritable as a badger.

Danny was doing great. Quinn had experienced a rough moment when Ben had asked Danny, “How come you can talk now?”

He’d held his breath, praying that Danny wouldn’t relapse back into silence, but his son had simply shrugged. “I just can.”

“Oh. Okay.” Ben seemed to accept Danny’s answer at face value. Why, Quinn wasn’t sure, and the boys continued to play as if nothing strange had happened.

Delores had wept when he’d told her the news. Tears of happiness, knowing that Danny had moved on from the trauma he’d suffered when Celeste had died, breaking through his wall of silence once and for all. He also called Nancy, who hadn’t seemed nearly as surprised.

“I told you he’d talk when he was ready.”

Quinn vaguely remembered hearing Danny shout out for someone to help his daddy. He’d hated knowing he’d scared Danny, yet he couldn’t help being glad that the result had been Danny regaining his ability to talk.

Now, if only he could stop thinking about Leila, he’d be in great shape. Just fine and dandy.

He walked into the kitchen, not really paying attention to where he was going, thanks to another sleepless
night thinking about Leila, when he stubbed his toe on the leg of the kitchen table.

“Dammit!”

“What is your problem?” Delores asked. “You haven’t been yourself lately. You’d think you’d be happy now that you’re feeling better and Danny is talking again.”

“Nothing is wrong,” he bit out between clenched teeth, reaching down to rub his big toe. “I am happy.”

Delores gave a disgusted sniff. “You could have fooled me.”

Maybe he was cranky. Mostly because he still didn’t feel quite like his old self after that bout of flu. Plus he’d promised Seth he’d come to his wedding this evening and that he’d bring Danny so that Ben would have someone to hang out with. And to make matters worse, he’d agreed to have Ben stay overnight here with them for a sleepover so Seth and Kylie could have a proper wedding night.

Great for Danny and Ben, as the two were becoming best friends.

But not exactly the way he’d hoped to spend New Year’s Eve.

Knock it off, he told himself harshly. Danny is talking, there’s nothing more precious in the entire world than knowing his son was back to his former self.

The scars of the past had started to heal. He wouldn’t risk opening them up again.

“What time are you leaving for the wedding?” Delores asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee and coming over to sit beside him at the table.

“Not until three-thirty or so.” Quinn stood and helped
himself to a cup of coffee as well. Today coffee actually sounded good. “The wedding is at four o’clock with the reception immediately afterward.” He tried to put on his happy face, although it wasn’t easy, considering he’d have to face Leila at the wedding reception. “I’ll have the boys home by ten o’clock at the latest.”

“Great. Danny is so excited. It’ll be good for them to spend more time together.”

Yeah. The funny thing was, Danny didn’t need him as much now that he was talking again. Or maybe it just seemed that way as he didn’t have to read and interpret his son’s sign language anymore.

The image of Danny teaching Leila sign language flashed into his mind.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. He owed her an apology for attacking her yesterday at the hospital. He’d been so angry when he’d overheard Danny telling her about his mother being in heaven as an angel that he’d been unable to see straight.

Worried about Danny having a relapse, he’d jumped all over her.

She’d said Danny had brought the subject up himself, and maybe he had. Leila had never been anything but kind to Danny. His son seemed close to her, especially after yesterday when he’d been sick. And that’s what had bothered him most.

Because even if Leila was good with Danny, it didn’t matter. He didn’t want a wife. Didn’t deserve a second chance.

“Quinn?” Delores said in an exasperated tone. “Are you listening?”

“What?” Guiltily, he lifted his head. No, he hadn’t been listening. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“What do you think about me renting a couple of movies for the boys to watch when you get home tonight?” she repeated. “They can watch them until they fall asleep.”

“Yeah. Sure. That’s a great idea.” He needed to pull himself together, and fast. Not only to get through the wedding tonight but for all the times in the future he’d have to work with Leila.

No, he didn’t want a wife, but he was pretty sure Leila wanted the whole happily-ever-after package. A marriage like she’d had with her precious George.

The one thing he couldn’t give her.

Quinn was forced to admit that Seth and Kylie’s wedding wasn’t too bad, as far as weddings went. It was small and simple, with Simon Carter as the best man and a paramedic friend of Kylie’s as the maid of honor. Even he had gotten a little choked up when the two had solemnly exchanged vows they’d written themselves, their voices full of heartfelt love. And the way they’d included Ben in the ceremony, with the young boy standing at his mother’s side, as Seth took on a family, not just a wife, was a nice touch.

Marriage did work for a few people and he suspected Seth and Kylie happened to be a pair of them.

His wedding to Celeste had been a formal affair, planned for over a year by Celeste and her mother. Any input from him hadn’t been needed.

He’d thought he loved her, they’d seemed to want the same things out of life. He had plans to become the chief
of emergency medicine and Celeste had been content to be a stay-at-home wife, and then, later, mom. But even within the first year, while they’d been trying to conceive Danny, he’d sensed something had been wrong.

Celeste hadn’t been happy. He’d thought things would get better once she became pregnant, and they had for a while. But then Danny had been born and over the next two years things had progressively gotten worse.

Celeste had lashed out at him often, telling him he was a lousy husband and father. Her mood had swung from one extreme to the other and he’d tried to get her to accept help, but she’d refused. He’d suspected she was drinking, had tried to elicit help from her mother, but to no avail. His mother-in-law had jumped on every little thing that Celeste had claimed, as if it were gospel. The two of them ganging up on him hadn’t helped.

He’d been able to tell Celeste was getting worse, instead of better. He’d suggested marriage counseling, but that had created the biggest fight of all. Celeste had raged at him, accusing him of not loving her anymore, and for a horrible moment he’d only stared at her, suspecting she was right.

The next day, he’d left for work as he always had. Halfway through his shift he’d called home, like he always had. But Celeste hadn’t answered. Not at home and not her cell phone either.