The Tragedy of Loving Jamie Clarke (20 page)

-EPILOGUE-

It’s been two months since I lost Jamie and although it’s been hard I’ve managed to survive it. Things are different now though. I am stronger, more confident. This brace isn’t who I am it is just a thing I have to deal with and I refuse to let it define me anymore. I have also been spending a lot of time with Mr. and Mrs. Clarke. It is comforting being around them and reminiscing about Jamie. My parents have also been spending time with them and every Friday we’ve been getting together for family dinners.

I finished the book and titled it,
Brace Yourself, Margo Hunch,
and I plan on submitting it to literary agencies in the next few weeks. I don’t know where it will take me but I’m doing this for Jamie, because I know it’s what he would want me to do and I owe it to him to at least try.

Two weeks after the funeral Liza broke up with Jeremy. She came up to me during lunch one day and told me how sorry she was that Jamie died. She even apologized for trying to steal him from me. I asked her why she and Jeremy broke up.

“I want what you and Jamie had,” she said. “I realized that Jeremy would never love me the way Jamie loved you. I mean he really did.” It was weird to hear that but it was also really flattering. I love that Jamie and I were the type of couple that others have been compared to.

Tonight is the concert in Portland. Amber volunteered to take Jamie’s ticket and this time she promised I wouldn’t have to drag her. I thought it would be too painful to be there without Jamie but he went through a lot of trouble to get these tickets and passes for me and I owe it to him to go. Besides if I don’t go I know he’ll be looking down on me from Heaven and cursing me. So I will go for him but I’ll also go for me.

The day of Jamie’s funeral Amber asked me if I regretted having met and fallen in love with Jamie. I didn’t know what to say then but now I do. Jamie loved me in the way that made me want to live and enjoy every moment so that is what I am going to do. I am going to live for both of us and carry him with me until it’s my turn to join him.

I will always regret the choices I made the night Jamie died. I used to tell Jamie that he was my everything but that night I treated him like he was nothing to me. No one could be for me what he was and is. Instead of telling him how thankful I was to have him in my life I ignored him when he reached out to me and now he’s been taken from me; taken from this world too soon.

We had a developing and growing love and a story that will never have a conclusion -and THAT
is the tragedy of loving Jamie Clarke; but do I regret meeting him and falling in love with him now that he’s gone? Not for one second.