The Ultimate Inferior Beings (24 page)

*

anaX stepped out onto the
flat, black ground for the first time and walked towards the group of Mamms and
humans, wrinkling her nose at the unpleasant smell in the air.

jixX was the first off the
mark to greet her. “Thanks for coming,” he said in a whisper, shaking her hand.
“You’ve probably saved our lives.”

“That’s nice,” said the
gynaecologist. A warm glow filled her and helped alleviate her slight,
lingering feelings of guilt over the neutrino bomb.

jixX briefly and succinctly
explained the contest they were engaged in and how Jeremy was going first in
the first of three sports.

“Ah, Jeremy,” said the
gynaecologist, raising an eyebrow. “Henry told me I should watch his every
move.”

“You’re more than welcome to
do that!” said jixX, glancing over at Jeremy.

“Henry?” asked Randolph, overhearing and turning towards her. “Do you mean our Henry? The inferior one?”

anaX nodded. “He’s in The
Night Ripple.” She nodded towards the ship’s glistening hull.

“What’s he doing there??”
asked Randolph, amazed.

“Shaking with fear.”

“Ah, that figures.”

*

Meanwhile, fluX had spotted
something which had suddenly put him into a state of deep, deep thought and
puzzlement. He stared at the cause of his consternation for a long time trying
to fathom its significance. He knew it was important, but couldn’t work out
why. Most fundamentally, he was sure it had some bearing on his work proving
the existence of God. It was trying to tell him something, but he couldn’t see
what. He wracked and wracked his brains for an explanation. But none was
forthcoming. He would need to sit somewhere quietly and think this through.

For fluX had noticed some
writing on one of the screens surrounding Jeremy, in the bottom right hand
corner of the frame. It was in English, and it consisted of just three words:
‘Made in China’.

*

“I think I’d better have a
word with Henry,” said Randolph. “Would you mind taking me to him?”

“Certainly,” said jixX. And
then a thought occurred to him. Here was their chance to escape. “Do you mind
if my crew come aboard for a little food and to freshen up?”

“By all means,” said Randolph. “It might be a long wait for Jeremy to finish.”

jixX looked excitedly at the
others, trying to signal his idea to them with his eyes. This is too easy, he
thought, so long as nothing goes wrong.

“I’ll wait out here,” said
anaX.

Something had gone wrong.
“No, no,” said jixX, signalling more urgently with his eyes, hand movements and
facial contortions. “Come inside and have some food with us.”

“I’m not hungry,” replied the
gynaecologist and walked off to look at Jeremy and all the paraphernalia
surrounding him.

“Shall we go?” said Randolph slightly impatiently.

“Yes, yes,” said jixX,
exasperated by the gynaecologist ruining his escape plan. He watched her for a
while, wondering how he might get her into the ship, but then shrugged. “Er,
walk this way,” he said, turning and leading the way into The Night Ripple.

*

Left on her own outside, anaX
soon got bored watching Jeremy, unlike the Mamms who seemed absolutely
transfixed.

She turned away and idly
wandered back to the glistening hull of The Night Ripple surveying its
exterior. She spotted a small inspection flap in the side of the hull and went
to open it. Inside was a mass of complex circuitry.

anaX glanced about her to
check no one was watching and then started examining the circuitry in more
detail. She took a small screwdriver from behind her ear and started making
little adjustments here and there.

*

As jixX, fluX and sylX
entered The Night Ripple with Randolph, they were puzzled at how dim it was
inside. The corridors were unlit, and it was eerily cool and silent. jixX and
sylX exchanged puzzled glances, but neither said anything.

jixX showed Randolph the way
to the main control room before returning to the others.

“What’s with the lights?” he
pondered aloud.

The other two shrugged.

“LEP,” said jixX in a
whisper.

No answer.

“LEP,” he repeated, slightly
louder; still no reply.

“LEP, this is serious,” he
said in an annoyed tone. “We’re in danger here and we need your help. And
what’s wrong with the lights?”

But still there was no reply.

“Vot can ze matter be?” asked
fluX, turning his scientific brain to the mystery.

“Maybe someone’s switched LEP
off,” suggested the stowaway.

“Why would anyone do that?”
asked jixX. “Apart from all the obvious reasons, of course,” he added.

“Hmm,” said sylX thoughtfully.
“Could be sabotage...” She frowned.

“Sabotage?” asked the other
two together.

sylX nodded. “Statistics show
that over 90% of Top Secret Space Missions have a saboteur on board.”

“Really?” said jixX
pointedly.

“Don’t look at me,” said the
stowaway defensively. “It’s my job to spot them and stop them!” She frowned
even more deeply. “I may have missed one here.” She looked at fluX.

“Iz not me!” said the latter.

“Hmm,” mused jixX. “That
leaves us with two chief suspects. twaX and anaX.”

“Not the carpenter,” said the
stowaway, shaking her head. “He’s too genuine.  No one could put on such a
convincing act. He’s a nutter, through and through.”

“What about the
gynaecologist?” asked jixX.

“Yes, could be,” said the
stowaway. “She’s been behaving very strangely.”

“Ya, I agree,” said the
behavioural chemist nodding vigorously.

jixX nodded too. “That’s what
I was thinking. All right, I’ll go back out and challenge her. You two get
something to eat and... whatever else you need to do.”

Chapter 8

“
Ah, there you
are, you dog,” said Randolph on locating Henry
under a control panel in the main control room.

Henry jumped back, startled.
“Aahh!” he cried in surprise and fear.

“What do you think you’re up
to? Eh?” demanded Randolph.

“I-I-I’m t-t-terr-rribly
s-s-sorry, oh Master,” stuttered Henry, cowering away from him. “But I only
m-m-meant t-t-to...”

Randolph
sighed. “Meant to... what?”

“I-I-I...” Henry was shaking
so much that he seemed unable to speak.

“All right, take it easy,”
said Randolph soothingly. “Calm down and tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Did...?” started Henry,
struggling over every word. “Did the h-human... did she...?”

“Go on,” urged Randolph.

“Did... did... did...,”
started Henry again, almost in tears now. “Did... did... did she come out...
and...”

“And what?”

“And... attack you?”

Randolph
looked puzzled. “Attack me?”

“Th-throw a b-b-brick at
you,” said Henry, shrinking further away and beginning to shake more violently.
“Or any of th-the others?”

Randolph
looked even more puzzled.
“No, she didn’t. She didn’t even have a brick. Was she planning to attack us?”

Henry’s shaking suddenly
escalated, becoming more and more pronounced. He closed his eyes, gave a
dramatic tremble, and dropped down, unconscious.

*

As she made various minor
adjustments to the wiring, anaX kept shaking her head at the appalling
workmanship of the electronic circuitry behind the inspection flap. The layout
was a mess and there were blobs of solder everywhere.

Suddenly she heard a cough
behind her. Guiltily she swung round and found herself face to face with jixX.

“Doing anything important?”
asked jixX, his voice heavy with suspicion and accusation.

“No, just checking some
circuits,” answered anaX with a guilty little laugh. A shudder ran through her
on seeing no change in his serious and suspicious expression. What did jixX
know? What had he discovered back in The Night Ripple? Had LEP told him
anything?

“Checking some circuits?”
echoed jixX tonelessly, fixing her with a curious gaze. “You’re a
gynaecologist.”

anaX laughed her guilty laugh
again. “Yes, this is just a hobby,” she said, indicating the inspection flap
behind her. She gave a smile and a shrug.

“Does your hobby have
anything to do with the ship’s lights being off?” asked jixX accusingly. “Or
with LEP being uncharacteristically quiet in there?”

“LEP?” asked the
gynaecologist. “Has something happened to LEP?”

“You tell me,” said jixX. “He
didn’t utter a single word while I was in there. No quips, no wisecracks – and
not a single practical joke.”

anaX looked shocked. “I didn’t
do anything to him, I swear.”

jixX cast a telling glance at
the open inspection panel behind her. “Well, something, or someone, must have
done.”

“I’m innocent,” said anaX as
tiny beads of perspiration broke out on her brow. And then, she had a thought.
“Ah, wait. It
was
me!”

“Aha!” said jixX
triumphantly.

“I turned him off.”

“Now we’re getting
somewhere!” he said, anticipating a full confession.

“I cut the ship’s power to
save energy. I completely forgot about LEP. Oh no! Sorry, LEP.”

Without another word she
turned and ran off into The Night Ripple with jixX staring open-mouthed after
her. She burst through the dioxystable modulo-cystometric airlock, tripped over
the brick she had left in the corridor and – not for the first time in this
mission – went tumbling to the ground.

*

When Henry came round he
found himself in Randolph’s arms. For a few ghastly seconds he thought Randolph was trying to strangle him. Henry started struggling to get free, so Randolph released him and patted him comfortingly.

“I’m really sorry,” said
Henry.

Randolph
nodded understandingly,
feeling a twinge of guilt and pity. He feared he was personally responsible, to
a significant degree, for Henry’s current psychological state.

“Why did you think the human
was going to attack us with a brick?” he asked gently, without accusation,
speaking softly and reassuringly. “Was it something you suggested she do?”

Henry started quivering.

“Well?” pressed Randolph gently. “Was it?”

“I’m very inferior,” said
Henry, still quivering.

Randolph
looked away, feeling more
and more guilty. This was his fault; all those years of insult and abuse. “I
understand,” he said, sighing heavily and sadly. “You had every right to, I
suppose. After the way we’ve all treated you. I think anyone would have done the
same in your position.”

But Henry didn’t understand.
“What?” he asked, baffled.

Randolph
patted Henry gently on the
head. “You were hitting out,” he explained. “Getting even. You wanted to get
your own back. You were after revenge and retribution.”

“No I wasn’t,” said Henry,
still baffled.

“I think you were.”

“No.”

“Subconsciously. Without
realizing it.”

Henry drew back from Randolph, looking thoroughly confused. He didn’t want to argue with Randolph, but Randolph seemed to be missing the point somewhere.

Henry frowned. “I’m very
inferior,” he started by way of indicating he knew his place.

“Yes, I know,” responded Randolph automatically.

“But...,” began Henry, a lump
forming in his throat. “I... I wasn’t after revenge. Honest, Randolph.”

Randolph
looked kindly down at him.
“So what was the reason?”