Authors: Nancy E. Turner
This wagon is a treasure chest and I am suddenly struck greedier than ever in my life. I want it so bad I am just beside myself. All these words to read and know is more than my insides can stand and I am trembling all over with excitement.
Mama, Albert, Savannah, Harland, Ernest! I shouted. I can drive this wagon, we have two extra horses, and the foreigners horses and, Rose. I cannot force her to a yoke says my heart, but look at all these books!
Well, Albert says the Army has got those foreigners horses and he doesn’t want to spare the extras without a double yoke, in case they are needed by the family. And why would I want all that, he says, obviously someone else dropped it as useless trash.
These books are not trash, I said, as I know they are the opposite. They are the only thing I wanted in my life more than I could name. They are pearls in my hair and scarlet velvet gowns but I could not say that out loud because they would think I was touched.
Before I know it I am off to see Captain Elliot again. Just as I found him riding along and he tips his hat to me, I feel like I must fly back to that wagon and find out what a velocity is before I can go another step. Captain, I said, has the Army got the right to those killed settlers horses, or are you just keeping them for spares?
Well, he wasn’t used to being spoken to so directly by a woman, I ’spose, because he kind of laughed and looked at me queer again. No, we don’t have the right to them, Miss Prine, he says, but they need to be fed and I guess we could keep them if we wished since the Army is feeding them.
Well, I said, I wish for someone else to feed them. Me. I have found a wagon, a good, sound wagon and it is loaded with good books someone left behind and I need just two horses because we have two spare and I don’t want to yoke up Rose and she is not a draft horse and I want the loan of them horses. If you Please.
Suddenly he got this mean look in his eye and he tipped his head way back and looked at me under his hat and sort of laughed again. Books? he says. A wagon of books? Show me, he said as he got off his horse, and so I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him quick over to the wagon and showed him inside.
He looks down at me and goodness, but he seems tall, and he says, Now, Ma’am, I can’t loan Army property to a civilian, but I could sell those horses, for something of equal value of course.
I know my face is red and I am trying not to think of his twinkling eyes looking right through my head. What do you want? I said.
Well, he says, he wants a book, a book for each horse, and he gets to pick which ones. I had to think really hard and really fast. To give that man a book was more than I could stand, but if it meant to have all the others, I just had to do it. So up he climbs into the wagon, and says Come on, you can decide the value of the book, if it’s worth a horse or not. I don’t know what he means but I am up in the wagon with him and I can smell the pages and the ink and the glue of the books.
He picks up a red covered book and holds it up to me and blows off the dust and then reads out the title, A Study of Animal Species of the Northern African Continent.
So I said, What is that about? He opened it and there are drawings of strange animals and monsterous things and it looks like something I truly want to see.
He snapped it shut and said right away, This one’s for one horse. Then he picked up another and read out, Annotated Expositional Sermon Texts from the Right Reverend Simon Thomas Brown, and I said Fine, right away. He looked at my face, not at the book, and said, No, this one ain’t worth a horse. Then he picked up the magical book with a big word what started with a D which I can’t even say, the book with all the spelled out words in it, and he is eyeing me and says, This one.
Oh, no, I said, not that one, and I started to reach for it.
He stuck out his chin and said, This one’s worth a horse.
Oh, no, I said again. It’s not, really it’s not, and I could not stand to see that book in his hands.
Maybe, he said, this one’s worth more than one horse.
Well, I said, then you got a horse and a half and you can’t do that so you got to find a one horse book.
I get the feeling he is laughing at me under that mustache but I don’t care I just want him to rob me of my books and get out fast. Pretty soon he comes up with a book called The Duchess of Warwick and Her Sorrow by the Sea and I frowned hard. He opened it up and flipped the pages all gilt edges and shiny.
This isn’t worth much, there is a page gone, he said. Page eighty-seven is gone.
Oh, Oh, was all I could say. Page eighty-seven! As I thought those words I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding. The Duchess of Warwick was the scarlet velvet lady with the tragic letter clutched to her bosom!
This one, he says, with pure meanness in his heart, I just know. He says This one is a one horse book, as after all, those are big horses and strong enough to pull this wagon of lead. I bet this weighs a quarter ton, he says, and stands up with the Scarlet Velvet Lady book and the Animals of Africa. Sold! he hollers and laughs, and says to me, let’s go get your horses, Miss Prine.
The hateful scoundrel.
December 27, 1881
Yesterday the Indians came again. Ernest jumped on my Rose and chased them with a rifle and got Rose shot in the bargain. She is limping but it appears the bullet went in and out her flank and I was stroking her and cleaning her up.
That sergeant in charge of our group said, Back up, honey, to me and pulled out his carbine and aimed it at Rose.
Well, I charged at him and said No, no, and he fired and it went over Rose’s head and into a wagon. It was luck that no one was hit, but I won’t let him put Rose down. She can get well.
I got that Ernest Prine alone and told him he was a mule headed, low down skunk and he better not lay a rope on my horse again. He just looked at me puffed up and said he was defending his family. Well, I said, that doesn’t give you leave to put aside all sense and judgement and go acting like you had the right to my horse. So he called me selfish and said if Papa was here he’d make me give him Rose to apologize. I said right back that Papa would whip his tail for what he done. We parted mad, and I don’t care. It ain’t often you are given a horse like Rose. It ain’t right to steal her, I don’t care what for.
I just turned around to walk away, and I saw that Captain Elliot watching us. I hope he didn’t hear me fussing at my brother, but if he did he didn’t seem to notice.
December 28, 1881
Rose is real sick and for once I am glad for our slow pace. Much work with the horses and poor Savannah cannot walk at all for the sick stomach complaint, so it is nice that we have this extra seat and now she sits by me sometimes and sews baby clothes and croshays little socks and soakers of woolen and mittens and hats. Her baby is going to have more clothes than all us Prines put together.
Harland has been not wearing his coat and has a fever and sniffles so he must stay away from her, and he sneaked away to play with Rudy Willburn and came back burning up feverish and did not eat supper but went right to bed.
December 29, 1881
Just about dusk we stopped by a stream to water, and it was getting dark early because of a new bank of clouds forming. It had stopped raining that morning but looked like it would start heavy any time and sprinkled on and off. Well, I went to the stream to fetch water and was filling up our barrel, and there was some wild blackberry bushes growing there, so I came back again with a pail and began to pick some tender stems and dig for some roots. There are several medicines you can make from blackberry stalk, and besides, if I cut carefully we can carry some to our new home to plant. I followed the little bushes quietly, not wanting to make a commotion. If all those people rushed over here, they’d spoil it all and no one would get any, and maybe they will do us some good. Savannah needs the bark for tea as she is having some bad stomach sickness these days.
Before I knew it I was far away from the wagon, and I reached under a stem and stood up with a start. There I saw a person’s hand laying under the bushes. I peered over the bush and I wish I never did that, for what I saw on the other side would take a river to wash it out of my mind. There was a woman’s body all naked and bloody. It was cut open at the stomach and the eyes were poked out. Her legs and arms were blistered up and red and black from burned marks and her scalp was almost all gone. It was a white woman and ants were in her face and one foot was trimmed off as if by coyotes or wolves, and there were several arrows in her all over.
As I looked on this horror, all I could think of is that Mama and Savannah mustn’t see it. Mama might never come back from yonder in her mind. Savannah might lose the baby. Oh Lord, I thought, if I never do another thing, help me be strong now. So I took my pail of cuttings and put a smile on my face and went right away and found Captain Elliot.
He looked mighty surprised to see me wanting to talk to him, because I have not been at all friendly toward him since he got my books. I had to tell him twice, Captain, there is something I must talk to you about, please come with me. He said Talk here, but I said again, We must go for a walk, please! just as strong as I could for there were other folks around and if anything was stirred up, Mama and Savannah might come to see what it was they were looking at.
I know he thinks I am just a girl but he finally followed me, and when some fellow tried to follow along, I turned to him and said, Please wait for us, the Captain will be right back, in my sternest voice I could manage. The Captain was puzzled for sure, but I took him to the place in the bank and said, It’s over there, and I don’t want my Mama or my sister to know or to see it so it must be kept quiet.
He pushed apart the bushes and looked for just a second. Then he said to me, I will see that this is taken care of and you can put your mind at ease, Miss Prine, just like I was a lady and I had asked him to saddle a horse or something.
He looked at me real queer, like he was sizing me up or something, but I just said back, Thank you, Captain. He touched the edge of his hat and went back to the soldiers quickly and I seen them later with a shovel beyond the bushes, burying that dead woman.
Then, when we were making supper, Savannah hugged me for bringing her the bark, and wanted to share her tea but I could not.
Captain Elliot came up and took off his hat and said hello to everyone, nodding at my Mama. Is everything all right, folks, he says, and although he doesn’t look at me I see his eyes flit this way for a second.
Well, wouldn’t you know Mama would pick this time to come back to us a little, and she asked him to have a cup of coffee and some supper. Savannah has not cooked tonight as she can’t stand the smell of meat cooking right now, but there is rabbit stew and biscuits, and that Captain just sat right down and had some and my Mama refilled his coffee just like he was company. She doesn’t know what a low down man he is, I thought to myself, but I cannot tell her what I know about him so I kept my peace and watched it all and went to do the dishes.
The fire was hissing because little raindrops were hitting the rocks now and then, and he sat there and talked polite like company for some minutes and then said he had to go and he pitched his cold coffee into the darkness and handed me the cup, touched his hat again and was gone. Toobuddy who is named after my first dog Buddy wagged his tail and whimpered when he left like it was his best friend and I told him to hush. Bear just lays there not moving anything he doesn’t have to except his eyes, he is older and tired from the trip.
Harland says, Sarah what are you so mad about? but I told him to hush, too.
December 30, 1881
I have done the worst thing I ever thought I’d do and I wonder if this is how a fancy woman feels when she is thinking about her sinful life. I cannot believe I let myself fall into this like a wanton or a harlot. I cannot face Savannah and Mama and the others, and I claim that I have a sick headache, but in truth I just cannot look them in the eye.
Before bedding down last night I checked to see that there was no water running in on the books. The tree bundles could go outside and be watered so I would have a little more room, so I set them all around my wagon, making a little shelter for the dogs underneath, where it would stay pretty dry. In the night the rain continued, thunder and lightning, lightning and thunder cracking like the sky is opening up. After a while it was raining harder and harder. I don’t know how late it was but it felt darker than midnight when I finally fell asleep.
I woke up suddenly knowing my wagon and I were on fire. If it was from the lightning or from an Indian arrow I didn’t know, but I knew it would burn with me in it. All my books, all my life, everything gone, I was on fire and the smell of smoke was everywhere and I screamed for my life.
Suddenly there was a shape of a man in the open flap, and it was a huge shape, wet and shiny in the lightning flash and smoke coming from it. I picked up a pistol and aimed and the man tore it out of my hands. I saw a soldier’s uniform coming for me and I began to scream and he grabbed me and I felt a huge hand on my mouth.
Don’t, he says, don’t cry. It is only me, and I was stupid, I stopped under your wagon to have a smoke before I changed the watch, his voice says, and in a second I see it is Captain Elliot. He threw his cigar out into the night and held me as I was still struggling against his hands. You’ll wake everyone, and your sister is sick, don’t scream, please, he says, but I stumbled and the wagon swayed and we fell down on the plankbed.
Then I don’t know why but I started to cry, and I felt myself get limp as I cried and cried. I told him I thought I was on fire, and I didn’t want to burn to death, and I was so tired of fighting Indians, and traveling, and dying children.
I’m sorry, he says, I didn’t think about the smoke, and then he loosened up his hold on me but I couldn’t stop sobbing. I didn’t even realize it at the time, but as I began to shiver all over and weep like a baby, he wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair.