This Side of Heaven (10 page)

“Where is that place?” Savannah liked Grandpa Ted. She wished her mama had taken her to meet him before he got so sick.

“It’s called heaven, sweetie.” Grandpa coughed a lot and it took him a few ticks of the clock before he could talk again. “Sometimes life isn’t so good this side of heaven. But, ah”—his eyes lit up and got a little bit of tears in them—“heaven will be absolutely perfect, Savannah. Like a birthday party that never, ever ends.”

“A birthday party that never, ever ends.”

Those words made the most beautiful picture in Savannah’s head and that picture made her smile. She thought about it again and again, especially after her grandpa Ted went there a few days later. There were a lot of scary days with Mama, so what Grandpa Ted told her sounded like a good idea. Trusting in Jesus. Yes, it was a much better idea than anything her mama had thought of.

Jesus, I’m looking at the ground so no one gets the wrong idea.
She held on to the edge of the bench, but it was sticky, so she let go and folded her hands in her lap.
I’m glad You’re in my heart because I feel a little scared about that man Mama’s talking to. Maybe she knows him from our room in Harlem. Or maybe not, and that means he would be a stranger, so Mama shouldn’t talk to him.

She lifted her eyes for just a quick look, and finally her mama and the man were coming back. They were laughing and whispering and the man had his arm around her shoulders. Savannah felt a sick feeling in her stomach, because she didn’t think her mama knew the man, which meant she was letting a stranger put his arm around her. Anytime that happened, her mama ended up hurt or crying or angry at the stranger.

Savannah sighed and looked at the ground again. Where was her daddy right now?
Do You know, Jesus? ’Cause if You do then could You tell me, please? He’s a Prince Charming and he loves me, I just know it. So if You find out where he is, please . . . tell me, okay?

“Savannah?” Mama’s voice was different, all sweet, like there was a song inside her. Not the way she usually sounded, which was sad and mostly angry and frustrated.

She looked up. “Yes?”

“This is Victor.” She smiled at the man and blinked a few extra times. “He’s going to take us to his house by the park today.”

“For a sleepover.” The man winked at Savannah’s mama. Then he raised his hairy eyebrows at her. “Sound like fun?”

Savannah’s heart beat harder, faster. Jesus didn’t like lying, that’s what Grandpa Ted told her. But just then her mama’s look told her,
Listen, young lady, you better tell the stranger yes or else trouble for you!
She gulped at the man and answered him in her most quiet voice. “Yes, sir. But I like my own spot on the floor, thank you.”

“That right?” The man laughed hard from deep in his round belly. “Don’t worry, little one. We’ll have a good time. All of us.” He elbowed Savannah’s mama. “I hope you have half her spunk.”

“Spunk.” People used words like that to talk about her.

Spunky. Feisty. Spirited. Mama said it was because her hair was red and she had freckles. They all three started walking toward the pretty buildings on the edge of the park. Savannah couldn’t read yet, because her mama said school could wait. But the building where the man took them had the letters R-I-T-Z, and a man in a fancy costume was waiting for them out front.

Victor took them through a pretty room to a restaurant and they ate dinner at a table with a white sheet over it and pretty glasses and plates and forks. Savannah didn’t dare say anything, but she couldn’t stop looking around. The people and the furniture and the carpet and the ceilings— none of it looked anything like their room back in Harlem. More like something from a movie.
This
, she thought,
is a place where my daddy would live
. She knew exactly what he looked like so she started checking to see if he was one of the people who walked by.

Victor talked mostly to Mama. They ordered steak and potatoes and Savannah got a hamburger and French fries with a tiny little bottle of ketchup. Savannah kept looking for her daddy while they ate, which took a long time because her mama and Victor had two bottles of wine.

After that Victor took them into an elevator up to his house. “His room,” he called it. Savannah’s mama and Victor were laughing loud and walking very crooked. But when they reached Victor’s door, inside was a whole house with a living room and two TVs and big giant windows that showed the park across the street. Savannah had never seen anything so beautiful in all her life. Victor turned the TV on for Savannah and he found a show with kids singing. “Wait here, little one. Your turn will come later.” He grinned at her, but the way his eyes looked made her feel scared.

Then he and Mama went into another room and Savannah heard the click of a lock. They stayed in there a long time until it was almost night. Savannah got tired of watching TV. She walked to the window and stared at the park and the sidewalks that went along the edge. So many people. Sometimes she wondered if she would ever find her Prince Charming daddy.

A thought, or maybe a wish, filled her heart. That maybe right this minute, wherever he was, her daddy was thinking about her, too. That made her feel safe and sleepy inside. She went back to the couch and stretched out.

“Savannah?”

The voice belonged to a man and Savannah sucked in a quick breath as she blinked her eyes open. She pushed herself into the corner of the couch. She must’ve fallen asleep. This wasn’t her place on the floor in their room in Harlem, so where was she? From the window she could hear pouring-down rain and a little bit of thunder. She blinked fast and then she saw him. That strange man, standing close by her. Light came into the room from the street outside and she could see his grin. The same grin as before.

“No,” she whispered. She tried to move farther into the corner of the couch.

Please, Jesus. . . . Please keep me safe.

The man took a step closer, but just then Savannah’s mama stepped out of the room. “Victor, come back. . . .” She still sounded funny from the wine. “I wanna show you something.”

Victor looked once more at Savannah and touched a piece of her hair. “No loss.” He spit a little when he said the word “loss.”

“I don’t care for redheads, anyway.” He did that belly laugh again. Then he winked at her and went back into the other room with Mama.

Once the door closed, Savannah breathed hard and fast, and her heart pounded like the rain against the windowsill. She wasn’t sure what the man wanted or why he had come to her, but deep inside her she knew that God had heard her prayer, and that He had just rescued her from something very bad.
Thank You for my red hair,
she told Jesus before she fell asleep again. Because maybe that helped her be safe.

Two days later her mama and Victor got in a fight. He yelled and she yelled and then Savannah saw him slap her mama across the face. Savannah ran for the door and covered her face, but before Victor could do anything else bad, Savannah’s mama took her by the hand and they left. In the elevator, Mama touched her hand to her cheek and she started crying.

Savannah thought it was because her cheek was red, and because Victor didn’t want to be her friend anymore.

“Men are pigs.” She closed her eyes. “How could I believe him?” She sniffed and then she rolled her eyes. “I’m a terrible mother, Savannah. I don’t even like children. I should take you to CPS and drop you off. We’d probably both be better off.”

“Is that where my daddy lives?”

Her mama looked at her with the strangest look. “Is that what you want? To live with your father?”

Savannah opened her eyes wide. “Yes, please. At least for a little while.”

Her mama cried harder then. “Fine, Savannah. You’d be happier with him, anyway. And I could do whatever I wanted.”

Mama said that all the time, that both of them would be better off if Savannah went to CPS or to live with her daddy and that then she could do what she wanted. But her mama never took her there. Savannah figured that was because her mama loved her, even though she said she didn’t like children a lot. She probably just didn’t know how to act around children. That’s what Grandpa Ted whispered to her when they talked that time in his hospital room.

Savannah stayed quiet while they walked to the subway and climbed down the stairs. She wasn’t sure where CPS was, or if her daddy was there, but she had a feeling that this time maybe her mama would really do it—take her to be with her daddy. Until then she would keep praying for that to happen, since her mama thought it would be better for both of them. As they got onto the subway and found two seats, Savannah pictured her daddy one more time. God had kept her safe and now God was going to let her find her wonderful Prince Charming daddy. She could feel it. And that must mean her daddy was doing more than just thinking about her. He must’ve been talking to Jesus about her, too.

And that thought made Savannah smile for the first time in two days.

NINE

C
arl Joseph took one egg at a time from his new carton in the fridge and set them carefully in the same plastic container Josh had given them. Along the way he lost track of how many, so he counted them twice. When he was sure he had six eggs, he closed the fridge.

“A good neighbor returns things they borrow,” he said out loud. “And so I’m a good neighbor.” He held the eggs tight against his body, put his apartment key in his pocket, because an independent person always has his key in his pocket, and then he locked the door behind him and walked down to Daisy’s apartment.

He knocked on the door two times fast, then two times slow. That was his special knock just for Daisy and only he used that knock, no one else. Not even Brother or Elle. He looked up at the sky and smiled. Blue skies meant Daisy would be happy all day long. He whistled a song about somewhere over the rainbow, and after the “dreams come true” part, Daisy opened the door.

“Hi, Daisy.” He held the eggs with one hand and pointed to the sky. “Blue means dry, and dry means good.”

Daisy smiled at him and her eyes were sparkly like sunshine on a lake. “Thank you, CJ. I love blue skies.”

“Well.” Carl Joseph pushed his toe around in a few shy circles. “Actually God gave ’em to you.” He laughed at that joke. “But you already know that.”

“Of course.” She tapped him once lightly on the shoulder. “Silly, CJ. Of course I know blue skies are from God.” She looked at the eggs in the plastic container and her eyebrows went up. “Good idea, CJ. We have to take the eggs back to Josh.”

“Because that’s what a good neighbor does.”

“Right.” She pointed her number one finger into the air, which she liked to do whenever Carl Joseph had a good idea. “Good job, CJ.” She linked her arm through his, grabbed her big blue purse, and they walked across the parking lot toward Josh’s apartment. “Remember Disneyland, CJ, and how I pretended to be Minnie Mouse?”

Carl Joseph pushed his glasses a little higher up on his nose. “And remember I bought you a pair of Minnie Mouse ears for that day?”

“Right.” She walked a few steps without saying anything, which meant she was thinking. “I have an idea, CJ. How ’bout I wear my Minnie Mouse ears next time we have a date day?”

“We could go to the mall!” Carl Joseph could picture what a fun time that would be.

“To the Disney Store.” Daisy pointed at Josh’s apartment just ahead. “We could ask if Josh wants to come, too. Because maybe he could buy a Minnie Mouse dress to go with this. . . .” She reached into her purse and pulled out a brand-new pair of Minnie Mouse ears. “Tammy and I stopped at the mall on the way home from work yesterday. I bought these for that little girl in the picture on his fireplace.”

“That’s very nice, Daisy.” Carl Joseph smiled, but only halfway. “Except Josh said that story doesn’t have a happy ending.”

“But God gave us a happy ending at Disneyland, remember?”

He thought about that. “And Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. . . .”

“Right.” She pointed with her number one finger again. “So let’s give these Minnie ears to Josh and ask if he should come with us next time and get that little girl a Minnie dress.” Her smile got softer. “Maybe with these Minnie Mouse ears that story will have a happy ending, too.”

“Yeah . . . maybe that, Daisy. Maybe that.” They reached Josh’s apartment. He had Daisy on one arm and the eggs in the other, so he used the tip of his foot to knock on Josh’s door.

They looked at Josh’s door, but Josh didn’t come to open it. “Maybe your tennis shoe didn’t knock loud enough.”

The sunshine felt warm on Carl Joseph’s shoulders. “Yeah, maybe.” He put the eggs down carefully on the ground, because all his eggs were in one plastic container. Then he knocked real hard with his hand, the right way. He put his lips up close to the door. “Hi, Josh. It’s your favorite neighbors!”

Daisy giggled beside him, and she twirled the new Minnie ears and they waited some more. A car pulled into the parking lot and dropped off two girls. A mom in the car told them good-bye and then she pulled away, and still . . . still Josh hadn’t opened the apartment door.

“You think maybe he’s sleeping?” Carl Joseph looked over his shoulder at Daisy.

“If he is, we should probably wake him up.”

“Yeah, right.” Carl Joseph pushed his glasses up on his nose again and tried the door handle. It wasn’t locked, so the door opened right up. A nervous feeling came over him, but he tried to smile, anyway. “I guess he was expecting us.”

Suddenly, Daisy’s smile was gone and she shivered a little. “What if he isn’t here? It might be breaking the law to go inside if he isn’t here.”

“He’s here.” Carl Joseph turned halfway around and pointed to the old Mustang in the parking lot. “See that, Daisy? That’s his car, so he’s here.”

“Okay.” Daisy didn’t sound that sure of herself. “Let’s go in together.”

Carl Joseph picked up the eggs and went inside a few steps. He faced toward where Josh’s bedroom was. “Josh . . . it’s your favorite neighbors. Are you awake?”

“Josh?” Daisy put her hands around her mouth so her voice would be louder. “Josh, wake up, okay?”

The sounds in Josh’s apartment were his refrigerator and his clock on the kitchen wall, and a buzzing fly near the sliding patio door. But not Josh’s voice. A strange feeling started to grow in Carl Joseph’s stomach. It was the same feeling he had when he took the bus one time before he graduated from Elle’s class on independent living. That day he took the wrong bus and he almost got lost forever, except Brother and Elle found him. How he felt that day was how he was starting to feel now.

“Come on, Daisy.” He walked into Josh’s kitchen and Daisy followed him.

“I’m scared, CJ. Where is he?”

“I don’t know.” He thought about opening the fridge and putting the eggs away but then he remembered his manners. It wasn’t his fridge, so probably only Josh should put the eggs away. He left them on the counter in their plastic container. “Daisy”—he put his hands on both her shoulders—“don’t be afraid. Let’s just go to his room and wake him up. Because that’s what good neighbors should do.”

Her eyebrows were all scrunched together. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Carl Joseph didn’t listen to the scared feeling inside him. He held out his hand to Daisy. “Come on.”

Together they walked down the small hallway to Josh’s room and Carl Joseph knocked again. Still no answer. “Josh?”

“He’s asleep,” Daisy whispered. “Go on, CJ . . . go in.” Carl Joseph opened the bedroom door and there was Josh, lying on his bed. “Josh?” He used a regular inside voice because he thought Josh would wake up if he heard his bedroom door open. “Wake up, Josh.”

They walked up to his bed slowly, and halfway there Daisy stopped. “He—he doesn’t look right, CJ.”

“He’s very sleepy.” Carl Joseph didn’t want Daisy to say that, because what if . . . He walked right up to the side of the bed and gave Josh’s shoulder a little shake. “Josh!” This time he used his loudest voice because maybe that’s what it would take to wake him. “Josh, wake up.”

“CJ, I’m scared again.”

“It’s okay. Let’s say his name at the same time really loud. Maybe that’ll wake him up.”

“All right.” She was shaking very much, but at the same time they said the numbers.

“One . . . two . . . three.” Then, they both yelled Josh’s name and Carl Joseph gave his shoulder another shake. But Josh didn’t blink or move or anything. He just lay there, frozen still.

That’s when Carl Joseph thought that maybe Daisy was right. Maybe something was wrong with Josh, and he needed emergency help. On the wall of his apartment and Daisy’s, too, there was an instruction sheet of paper that told about how to get emergency help. Carl Joseph pushed up his glasses and swallowed hard. “Daisy?” He took a step back and turned to her. “Maybe we should get emergency help for Josh. Maybe emergency help could wake him up.”

“Oh, no!” Daisy put her hand with the Minnie ears to her mouth. “Emergency help is for very bad problems.”

“But if he can’t wake up”—Carl Joseph looked back at Josh—“then this is a very bad problem, right?”

“Right.” Tears came to her eyes. “Hurry, CJ, call for emergency help!”

Carl Joseph felt his heart pumping hard against his chest because this was more scary than being lost on a bus. He picked up the phone next to Josh’s bed and tried to remember the numbers. It was nine something—nine-nine-nine, was that it? He put the phone back down and closed his hands very tight.
Please, God. . . . Help me remember the emergency help number. Please. . . .

“What are you doing?” Daisy was crying. “CJ, call emergency help!”

“I’m praying. Because that’s the first emergency help for me.” He didn’t yell at her, but he said it in a certain way so she’d understand.

He saw in the corner of his eye that she was walking a few steps away from Josh and then back again, nervous and scared. “Hurry, CJ.”

Just then God gave him the right number, because he could see it in his head. He picked up the phone and dialed just like he saw it. “Nine-one-one, that’s how to get emergency help.”

In no time a woman said, “Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”

Carl Joseph looked at his favorite neighbor. “Josh won’t wake up.”

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Josh!”
Stay calm,
he told himself. Because he wasn’t really feeling very calm.
Stay calm. Help me, Jesus. I need You.
The first rule in emergency situations was to stay calm and pray. “He lives in the apartment across the parking lot. He’s our favorite neighbor and he won’t wake up.”

“Is he breathing?”

Was he breathing? Carl Joseph hadn’t thought about that. His heart was running fast inside him now. “How can I tell?”

“Sir.” The woman sounded a little impatient. “You check if his chest is moving and if air is coming out of his nose or mouth.”

“Okay . . . okay, I’ll check.” Carl Joseph put the phone on the edge of the table next to the bed and he stared real hard at Josh’s chest. But no matter how hard he stared Josh’s chest wasn’t moving anywhere. Then he put his hand up in front of Josh’s nose, but no air was coming out. Behind him Daisy was crying harder, so when Carl Joseph picked the phone back up he had to talk loud so the lady could hear him. “His chest isn’t moving and no air is coming out.” He began to take fast breaths because that couldn’t be good. No chest moves and no air. “Help us, please!”

“An ambulance is on the way, sir. Are you the only one there?”

“Me and my girlfriend, Daisy. We live in the independent living apartments, but we were here because good neighbors return things they borrow.”

“Yes, sir. Wait there until the paramedics come, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He hung up and he looked at Josh. Maybe a person could stop having his chest move and air come out if he was very, very sleepy. So he tried one more time to wake him up. “Josh!” he yelled. “Wake up right now!”

Still nothing. “He isn’t okay, CJ. Let’s go.” Daisy sounded very scared now, like when the rain came and she was afraid she would melt. “Let’s go outside.”

“We have to wait for the paramedics.” He put his arms around Daisy and rocked her one way and the other. “That’s what emergency help told me.”

So Daisy pressed her head against his chest and they waited that way until they heard sirens.
Please help us, God. . . . Please help our neighbor.
Carl Joseph said the same prayer over and over and over again until he heard someone knock at the door.

“Paramedics. Anyone inside?”

“Carl Joseph and Daisy,” he shouted. “We’re back here in the bedroom.”

Two men in blue uniforms hurried down the hall and into Josh’s room. The first one looked at Josh and then at Carl Joseph. He was in a very big hurry. “Step out of the room, please.” Then he yelled something to the other man about a cart and paddles.

Carl Joseph took one more look at Josh and then, together with Daisy, he left the room. He wasn’t sure how far to step out, but he could hear more sirens, so he decided they should step all the way out to the sidewalk. He took the plastic container of eggs on the way, because he wanted to be sure Josh got them. Then he remembered that anytime he needed emergency help he was supposed to call Brother. He could hear loud sounds coming from Josh’s apartment, and a horrible thought came to him.

What if Josh—what if he was dead? “CJ, what’s happening?” Daisy was still crying and some of her tears were falling on the new Minnie ears. She needed to be somewhere else, somewhere away from the sirens and police cars and the fire truck coming into the parking lot.

“Come on, Daisy. Let’s go to my house.” He took her there, and then he called Brother.

“Carl Joseph, how are you?” Brother sounded happy. “We’re still on for dinner later, right?”

“Brother, something’s very wrong with our favorite neighbor, Josh.”

His brother’s happy sound left right away. “What is it?”

“He won’t wake up. We went there to take back six eggs because a good neighbor returns what he borrows, and Josh won’t wake up.” His words all ran together the way his breaths did. “He won’t wake up and so I called emergency help and now paramedics and an ambulance and firemen and police are all here.”

“Okay, buddy . . . don’t worry. I’m on my way.”

“Thank you, Brother.” Carl Joseph held on to Daisy until Brother came through the front door. “Buddy, I’m going over to Josh’s apartment. Do you want to come or stay here?”

“Come.” Carl Joseph was still breathing too fast and he still felt sick, but he had to go back to Josh. Josh was his favorite neighbor. He released Daisy. “You, too? You wanna come?”

“No . . . yes.” She held on tight to his arm. “Yes, if—if you stay with me.”

“I will.” They hurried out the door with Brother and by then there were other people in the parking lot looking at Josh’s apartment, old Ethel from right upstairs over where Josh lived and the two teenage girls who had gotten out of the car earlier and some other people, too. No one was laughing or talking or doing anything but waiting and watching.

When they got as close as the police cars, Brother stopped and turned to him. “I’ll be right back.”