To Love a King (Court of Annwyn) (9 page)

She tipped her head back. “You always knew what to say.” Her cheek curved. She was smiling.

No, he just knew what not to say. “Not always.”

Sooner rather than later, he was going to have to tell her everything and hope she was willing. But the uncertainty was there. She might want him, but she still didn’t want Annwyn, no matter how much Annwyn needed her. He couldn’t bring himself to use trickery to get Jacqui on his side. And when he only had two days to go, what would he do then? He didn’t like the answer that echoed his father’s words—she’d grow to love Annwyn.

He moved away and buttoned his fly. His heart was still fluttering and his blood was still hot. He wanted her—he had never stopped wanting her. All he’d done was fool himself that he’d stopped loving her. He ran his hands through his hair and then glanced across at her. Where did they go from here?

Nowhere tonight.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood and grabbed his shirt off the floor.

Jacqui stayed on the bed and watched, the hunger still in her eyes. That just made it harder to leave. Perhaps he should stay. It was tempting, better than going back to Annwyn, but even if he did stay, they weren’t back to where they had been. She’d said that. At the moment, all they had was lust—while that was plenty in Annwyn, it wasn’t what he wanted with Jacqui. Slow was better.

“What are we doing, Felan?” She crossed her legs, giving him a glimpse of her lace knickers.

He hoped he’d get a chance to take them off her another night. “Reconnecting? Seeing if the attraction is still there?” Seeing if she was still the one who could save Annwyn with him?

“I think that’s obvious. I meant—”

“I know what you meant, but I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing. Here or there.” It was funny how clear everything was and how he had planned how it would all go down, and yet, when it came to the pointy end of the sword, all of his deals and plans meant nothing if he couldn’t get a Queen. And the Queen he wanted had just kicked him out of bed. He drew in a breath and looked at her. “Tell me what I need to do to make it right.”

She just looked at him. “I don’t know.” Then she slid off the bed and pulled on her skirt. “I’ll show you out.”

He bit back the sharp retort that it wasn’t necessary as he shoved on his shoes. “Thank you.”

The walk back to the front door was much more subdued. For a moment they stood on the front step. He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out and touching her.

“Thank you for dinner. I hope you enjoyed it.”

“Only for you would I get onto a boat.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips and drew back before it became something more. He still hadn’t told her that the Queen needed to give her soul and be pregnant with an heir, as children couldn’t be conceived in Annwyn. And once she had no soul, she wouldn’t be able to conceive his child anymore. One parent needed a soul. That was the reason fairies needed humans. But that was a conversation for another day. He could imagine her horror at hearing that now.

He turned and walked down the steps without looking back. He didn’t want to know if she was watching because if she was he might be tempted to turn around and stay. He could go without; this wouldn’t be the first time he’d walked away. However, he’d have much rather stayed and sealed their reunion, even though he wasn’t keen on the condoms. It went against everything he’d always believed. If a child happened, it was a blessing. The odds were already against her conceiving in such a short amount of time. He knew why his father hadn’t asked for the return of the cup of life. His father saw through Felan’s careful sidesteps and half-truths and knew how unready he was to be King.

He walked back to the cemetery to return to Annwyn. He knew the rules there. And while he’d like Jacqui to be with him, he couldn’t do that to her. They had time to get it together. He’d give her as long as he could. It was all he could do. He let go of the magic that let him be seen.

He’d barely crossed the threshold into Annwyn when the Hunter approached. Taryn looked grim as she handed him a note.

Mortal paper and mortal handwriting. No fairy would write with such a crass hand—if they could write at all.

Meet me in the grove. I will be waiting.

“Sulia? How long ago?”

Taryn raised her eyebrows. “Do you know how hard it is to judge time here?”

He did, but Taryn had been raised in the mortal world and had only recently come to Court and more recently been made Hunter. She was used to the mortal obsession with keeping an eye on the time. “Yes, but I’ve been in the mortal world checking on the damage.”

“Everyone knows that’s not all you’re doing.” Taryn looked at him closely. He was still in jeans and a shirt. As long as they didn’t know with whom, that was fine.

“I was handed the note today. And because I hadn’t seen you for a while, I thought I’d wait here, as I knew you’d need to cross here at some point.”

So not that long really. “Are you coming with me?”

“You can’t smell trap all over that?”

“I can, but that won’t stop me from going.” He could imagine how angry Sulia would be because he’d already freed the trapped fairies. It almost made him smile.

Taryn shuffled and glanced at the ground. “Why not ignore her?”

“I can’t afford to ignore her. Fetch my sword.” The idea of a fight was beginning to sound appealing, a way to burn through some of the tension that wouldn’t leave him and maybe clear his thoughts of what had happened and what Jacqui had said.

Taryn walked over to a tree and picked the sword up. She’d had it ready for him, knowing that he’d read the note and go. “Did you want more weapons or people?”

“No. Sometimes less is more.” Except when it came to Jacqui, he just wanted more and more and more. But he still didn’t have her heart—or even her trust. “I also want you to hang back so it looks like I came alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” It was definitely going to be a trap, but walking out of it would prove more than avoiding it. If he avoided it, Sulia would make sure people found out he was a coward. He had to prove he had nothing to prove and nothing to worry about.

Jacqui lay down on her bed. Even though Felan had only touched the sheets for moments, she could smell him like a hint of summer. Heat and flowers. It would’ve been so easy to stop thinking and worrying, and just fall into his arms. Some things didn’t change. She closed her eyes. The memory of his hands on her skin was fresh now. It had been hard to let him go, but she knew it was the right thing to do. She wasn’t ready to let him back into her heart—or rather let him know he’d never left. Being with him was dangerous, and yet she couldn’t help herself when it came to Felan. If he hadn’t been fairy, would their relationship have been half as much fun, or did she love the danger and secrecy that came with knowing him?

He was truly like no other man she’d ever known. For a moment, she wished he was still here. Her hand slid over her stomach and under the waistband of her skirt to finish what they’d started. Her fingers brushed the scar on her abdomen and the lace of her panties, then slipped underneath them. In her mind it was his touch, his fingers. The heat in his eyes. He’d looked at her the same way he always had—as if the world spun around her. Then she stopped.

She couldn’t do this thinking of him. He should have stayed…she’d wanted him to stay, but he was right. Something would have ended up happening. And no doubt she would’ve ended up regretting it. There was always a price with him, and she was always the one paying.

If she hadn’t have said anything, she’d be in his arms and calling out his name…and waking up alone. He wouldn’t have stayed the whole night. She knew that—she’d seen the dilemma in his eyes when she’d asked him to come over and had known he was tossing up between her and Annwyn. She’d won, temporarily. However, it didn’t feel like a victory.

It felt like he’d breached her defenses and walked straight in. All the time she’d spent moving on had been erased, and once again she felt like the teen waiting for him to come back. That he could still do that to her…and that she enjoyed it scared her. And yet part of her liked that he’d come back to her and that he’d got on the boat for her.

He’d changed. Some part of him was now willing to go further than he ever had before. He didn’t just want her. He needed her. He needed a Queen.

That really freaked her out. That he’d left without the evening going further was a good thing. She needed to reclaim the distance. She wasn’t going to fall into his bed. She wasn’t what he needed. He wasn’t what she needed…only what she craved.

A tiny seed of doubt raised its head. If she resisted, she was going to lose him again. This time it wasn’t so easy to believe that was a good thing. And she wasn’t sure she believed that she didn’t want him in her life. Felan wasn’t any fairy; he was the one she’d once loved more than anyone. He was the one who’d broken her heart. Perhaps he was the only person who could put it back together.

She closed her eyes and took a breath, determined to push all thoughts of fairies out of her mind. He’d gone back to Annwyn, where he belonged, and she was here, where she belonged. However, the expectation that had built in her body didn’t evaporate. She’d never get to sleep if she didn’t take the edge off.

Her fingers moved slowly. Next time, she’d have condoms ready—because that would fix everything—because the lack of birth control was what was broken with their relationship.

Don’t think of Felan…think of that hot actor…

She pressed a little harder, and her breath hitched. Then Felan was back in her mind, doing what she’d wanted—drawing off her panties and running his tongue over her clit.

No, anyone but him.

But it was his lips she wanted to be kissing as he eased himself into her. What was it about him that made her body crazy, that made her want to take chances a sane person wouldn’t, that made her want to throw logic out the window?

Her fingers circled her clit, then she gave in and let thoughts of Felan fill her mind. It was too easy. She groaned as she came, wishing he’d actually been there—then wishing she’d never invited him in and left her in this situation.

She sighed and lay there for a moment. What an
awesome
date. Would they ever be able to manage even the simple stuff again? If he was King of Annwyn, nothing would be simple again. She shivered and sat up. She couldn’t have him unless she became Queen. Maybe it was for the best she’d said no. And she should keep saying no until he found someone else.

But she didn’t want that either. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life imagining him with someone else. She gritted her teeth. She was going to have to make a choice: let him go forever or go with him forever. Neither seemed like good options.

The two necklaces brushed against her skin. She touched the familiar one made of iron. It had protected her for so long and yet Felan hadn’t seemed bothered. She knew his skin would burn if he touched it. He’d shown her that once to prove he was fairy.

With a flick of her fingers, she removed the small mirror he’d given her. A gift so she could watch him while he was away. Why hadn’t he done that the first time around? She held it in her palm, not sure if she wanted to look or not. He’d given her free rein to peek into his life. Did she want to look? Did she want to see what he did when he wasn’t with her?

Would he be taking care of himself after being kicked out of her bed? Her cheeks heated at the idea of catching him in such a private moment, yet she couldn’t resist taking a look into the life he’d kept hidden from her last time they were together.

She uncurled her fingers and thought of him. The surface of the mirror wobbled and then she saw him, blue blood and dirt was streaked across his cheek. She watched, confused, as the scene widened and he swung what looked like a sword, his clothes—the ones he’d worn to see her—stained with fairy blood and grime. Her heart clenched.

No sex—battle. She didn’t want him to die after just remembering why she had once loved him and why it would be so easy to love him again. Did she love him enough to give up everything when she knew he wouldn’t do the same for her?

***

The moment Felan stepped through the doorway into the mortal world, he was attacked. A Grey armed with fairy silver swung at him. The blow only just glanced off Felan’s sword. A fraction to the left and it would have cut his arm. He knew Sulia well enough to know this wasn’t the trap—this was just the warm-up.

The Grey attacked again, the silver blade glinting in the moonlight. Felan pressed forward. He wouldn’t retreat to Annwyn. If he did, the next time he stepped through, there’d be an army waiting for him.
May
she
wither.

He shifted to the left and brought the blade of his sword up underneath the Grey’s guard. The sword bit through clothing and into flesh. He pressed harder and twisted. The man cried out and dropped his sword.

“What did she promise you? A return to Court?” Was Sulia making deals with Greys? He hoped so, as then he’d be able to drop her in the river without a second thought.

He shook his head. “My son.” He gasped for breath, his skin collapsing as he fought to live. “She has my son.”

Fuck.
Was there no low Sulia wouldn’t drop to? “Who is your son?”

“Darkling child.”

Blue blood trickled down Felan’s sword. This Grey had fathered a child with a human in the mortal world. A child that would need to kill to live. Most darklings didn’t survive past their first year.

“Find him, please. Not his fault.”

It wasn’t the child’s fault that he was darkling or that Sulia was using him as a pawn. “I can’t let you live after attacking me.”

The Grey nodded, his strength fading along with what was left of his looks. Haggard and sunken, he’d be dead in moments. “Find him.” His hand grabbed Felan’s so they both held the sword. “Please.”

This was the reason he’d tried to keep Caspian a secret. As much as he didn’t want to draw attention to his son, he was going to have to warn him to be on guard.

“I’ll do my best.”

The Grey’s grip tightened. “Find him or she will kill him. She will kill them all.”

All
? What was Sulia up to? “Where are they?”

“I don’t know.” The Grey took a shuddering breath.

“You could have sent word instead of attacking. I could have helped sooner.” How many children had Sulia taken hostage? Were they all darkling or changeling as well?

“Would you have stopped to help the banished when you are fighting for your own life? Don’t let her—” he coughed. Dark, dying blood ran down his chin. He looked up at Felan, then his head lolled back. Dead.

The body became heavy on the sword. Felan pulled it free and wiped it clean on his jeans but didn’t bother to sheath it. He had a feeling that wasn’t the only Grey he was going to have to kill tonight. Killing fairies was always bad business, banished, exiled, or otherwise.

Worse was Sulia’s method of ensuring assistance—blackmail. It was one thing to trick and make deals, but quite another to stoop to coercion. There was no honor or wit in blackmail. She’d take Annwyn over his dead body—and she seemed to be thinking the same thing.

Taryn stepped through the doorway from Annwyn. She must have only been a few paces behind him, but with the time difference across the veil, a life had been lost. She looked at the scene. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait while I assemble an army or at least a strike force? I’m not sure I’m going to be much help in an actual battle.”

Felan raised one eyebrow. “Doing that will take time I don’t have. You have been training with Verden and that will have to do.” He glanced at the body of the dead Grey. “He wasn’t a properly trained swordsman. I’m hoping most of them won’t be.”

She gave a small nod. “You told me this job would be mostly a title to see out your father’s reign.”

“It was supposed be. I didn’t expect Sulia to want a war.”

Taryn considered this for a moment. “Perhaps she doesn’t. Perhaps she hopes to kill you, and me, out here in the middle of nowhere. No one would ever find us.”

“I’m harder to kill than you think.” He wasn’t sure who he was reassuring, Taryn or himself.

“I’m not.” She glared at him. “You need Verden here, not me. He should be carrying this sword and the responsibility.”

“I can’t change that now. You want him un-banished, we best make sure neither of us dies today.” He touched her arm. “You’ve killed a Grey before.”

“I got lucky. He wasn’t expecting me to put up a fight.”

“That’s because you are young and were raised across the veil. No one knows what to expect from you, but they respect you. You made a deal with the King and won. Few can say that.”

“I got lucky. I know that. You don’t need luck; you need experience.”

Felan nodded. Taryn was right, but she was all he had. While Verden had worked very hard to get to the position of Hunter, Taryn had gotten the job because no one else wanted it and he’d known she would be on his side. “I guess luck will have to do.”

He took a breath. The air was tainted with death and the tang of blood. He’d go alone to the grove and leave Taryn to protect the doorway again. Sulia would either plan to kill him or trap him. He needed more help in Annwyn. Dylis should be here, the woman he would make his Hunter once he was King. He glanced at Taryn, knowing she was right. She wasn’t a warrior, and if she died, Verden would be devastated. “Hide the body. Guard the doorway.” He looked at his watch. He knew it wasn’t showing the correct time, but it would be good enough. “If I’m not back in an hour, you can enter the grove—although I’ll probably be dead.” He went to take off his watch, but she pulled one out of a pocket.

“I used to wear one all the time in the mortal world. I want to be able to use it again.” Her words were pointed and aimed at his heart. She didn’t play games like a Court-raised fairy would—at least not unless she absolutely had to.

He looked at her. “You will.”

“Not if you die tonight. You need someone to watch your back.”

“Sulia won’t kill me.” But he wasn’t as sure of that as he had been. While Sulia may not be holding the sword, she would be there cheering it on and orchestrating the moves like a power-crazy puppeteer.

“You trust her far more than I. Class-A bitch.”

He nodded. “She has hostages. She listened to my mother and then perfected her teachings.”

“Where do we begin looking for them?”

“I don’t know yet. But if she had one to make him fight”—he pointed to the dead Grey—“she will have others.”

Taryn frowned. She wasn’t used to all of this, even though she was learning fast. “What do you want me to do?”

“One step at a time…maybe this is something Verden and a hound can do.” Finding the hostages and breaking Sulia’s hold over the Greys she sought to use would be a big battle to win. He knew Verden wouldn’t refuse the job.

Felan rolled his shoulders and rotated his wrist. He was guessing there’d be no wild fae protecting the grove, as they wouldn’t go anywhere near Sulia. He doubted that she had found a way to corrupt them to her will. If she had, he was in big trouble. Bigger trouble.

“Good luck,” Taryn said.

He nodded at his Hunter. He was going to need it.

His heart was bouncing in his chest, but he wouldn’t reveal or give into the nerves and fear. He’d spent far too long learning how to play the games of Court to ever give anything away. By the time he reached the edges of the holly grove, he was calm.

Beneath his feet, the ground was almost silent, and above, the stars gleamed as if nothing was wrong with the world. He paused at the grove, now filled with only real trees instead of trapped fairies. In the middle of a small clearing sat Sulia, on a chair that must have been brought from Court.

Around him trees rustled, but there were no wild fae here.

“You made it.” She sounded surprised, as if she didn’t realize how well he could use a sword.

Felan walked into the clearing, his naked blade clearly visible. But she didn’t move, didn’t stand. She was acting as though she was already Queen and he was seeking an audience. Everything had been carefully staged, and for that he had to admire her. She was playing a good game, but he wouldn’t let her win.