Too Much Drama (10 page)

Leo: Is that a smiley face?

Me: Yes.

Leo:

Me:

Saturday, January 16, 10:35 p.m.

Leo didn't call today. That makes it sound like I sat around all day waiting for him to, which I didn't. I did a lot of things (while I was waiting for him to call), including calling Sophie to see if she wanted to do something. She said she was doing something with Billy. She hesitated, then said I could come along too if I wanted. But the way she said it made me feel like she only invited me because she felt like she had to.

Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe I wasn't.

But I didn't go.

Sunday, January 17, 10:02 p.m.
Going to bed

Leo didn't call today either.

But that's OK because I would have been too busy to take his call. When I woke up, I made a decision to have a positive, productive day versus a day spent ruminating (vocab word) on the fact that Leo hasn't called back or that Sophie and Billy did something together yesterday and didn't really (at least, in my opinion) want me to come along or that my lifelong (former) best friend has turned into an out-of-control, manipulative stranger.

First, I cleaned out my backpack and went for a run. For breakfast I had waffles, bacon, and orange slices and savored (another vocab word) every bite. Then I helped Dad clean out the garage.

When we were done, I showered, did my Bio homework, and then watched seven episodes of
SpongeBob
with May and June. That's the second-highest number of consecutive episodes I've watched of a show I don't like. Since I was consciously being positive, I made a lot of upbeat comments while I was watching it like, “Isn't that stupid sponge funny?” Then I made a scrunched up weird face and told May and June I was trying to imitate SpongeBob.

May and June found my imitation to be hysterical. They were literally on the floor, laughing. Even Mom commented about how sweet it was to see us laughing and having fun together.

It might seem no human could shove any more positive, productive things into a day, but I did. When we finished watching TV, I asked my sisters if either of them needed any help with their homework. June said she did, so I quizzed her on her spelling words, even though I knew she knew them cold before we'd started.

“Can you believe how fast I learned those?” June asked when we'd gone through the list.

“You're a cracker-jack speller,” I said.

“What does that mean?” she asked. I told her she should look it up, and then (because I momentarily had forgotten, but quickly remembered that I was being positive), I said she could use my computer to do so. If that's not the face of positivity, I don't know what is. Oh, by the way, Leo did not call today.

Oops! Did that sound negative?

11:17 p.m.
Can't sleep

I think today's positivity is keeping me awake. So I'm going to say what's really on my mind, and it's not very positive: there's way too much drama in my life and I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of Leo saying he's going to call and not doing it.

I'm sick of wondering what's going to happen between Billy and Sophie. I think I already know what's going to happen. But I don't like wondering when they ask me to do something if they're asking because they want to or because they feel like they have to.

And I'm really sick of thinking about Brynn and wondering what's going to happen. Will we ever speak again? Will we be enemies throughout high school, and then sometime down the road, like at graduation, finally talk about it, realize it was silly, and make up? Or will it be one of those things where we bump into each other years from now as adults, and say something really lame like, “Hey, I remember you. Didn't we used to be friends?”

There you have it.

The girl formerly known as Miss Positivity, is going to sleep.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

—Homer Simpson

Monday, January 19, 10:02 p.m.
Text from Leo

Leo: Sorry didn't call this weekend.

Leo: I had a lot of studying to do.

Me: A test?

Leo: Two of them this week.

Me: Good luck.

Leo: Thanks

I waited. I thought Leo would write more. I even turned my phone off and on again in case he'd written more and there was some technical glitch with the phone that prevented texts from coming through. But nothing came through, which makes me think I have a problem. I'm just not sure if it's a phone problem or a Leo problem.

Actually, I'm pretty sure.

Tuesday, January 20, 6:17 p.m.
Talked to Sophie

Sophie just called and told me that she was in the bathroom after school today and overheard Kelly Blake and Julia Lozano talking about her. “What did they say?” I asked.

“Kelly told Julia that Brynn told her Billy called her and said I kissed him at the party on New Year's Eve, and that he was shocked when it happened and didn't know what to do. Then she said Brynn said he told her he doesn't like me but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings and that he's hoping it just dies out.”

It made me mad at Brynn all over again. I don't know exactly what Billy said when he called her, but I know it wasn't that. “You know Billy didn't say any of that, right?”

Sophie hesitated for a beat too long. I could tell she wasn't sure. “I hope he didn't say it.”

“Of course he didn't,” I said. I knew in her rational mind she had to know that. “Did you say anything to Kelly and Julia?” I asked.

“I was using the bathroom,” said Sophie. “But anyway, I don't care what other people have to say.”

She might not, but I do.

Wednesday, January 21, 6:45 p.m.
Confronted Brynn

Today at dance, Brynn and I ended up next to each other when Ms. Baumann rearranged our dance formation. When I accidentally bumped into her (which I'd been careful not to do but couldn't help doing when Kate tripped and almost knocked me down), Brynn groaned loudly. The girls in the row in front of us turned around to see what had happened.

I'd had enough, plus I wanted to say something to her about what Sophie told me.

At break, I followed her into the bathroom. When she came out of her stall, I said, “I heard what you're telling people about Sophie. Don't spread lies about her.”

“Are you threatening me?” she asked.

“That's ridiculous,” I said to Brynn. It was just the two of us in the bathroom. It seemed like the perfect moment to say what was really on my mind. “This whole thing has gotten out of hand. I'm sorry you're hurt, but we should try to get past this.”

I was offering Brynn an olive branch, but she looked at me like I was asking her to poison her dog. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to be me?” she asked.

I couldn't believe that was her response when I'd tried so hard to be nice. I was officially done. “No,” I said. “I don't.”

Fortunately.

Thursday, January 22, 7:02 p.m.
Home from dance practice
Exhausted

Even though things with the freshman girls on the team aren't as strained as they were a couple weeks ago, it's exhausting being on the same team and in the same dance with Brynn while we're not talking to each other. We've developed an elaborate system for avoiding each other.

When we're in formation for the dance, her position is all the way to the front left, and I'm in the back right. If Ms. Baumann is talking to us and we're gathered around her huddle-style, Brynn and I avoid all eye and body contact. And at break, she goes to the bathroom first while I get a drink of water, then when she comes out, I go in.

It takes effort, but I guess you could say it works.

Tuesday, January 27, 9:17 p.m.
SGA calls
Billy and Sophie answer

SGA at Faraway High School must be busier than the CIA, FBI and all other three-letter government agencies because every time I see Sophie and Billy, they're always coming from or going to a meeting, and they're always laughing and smiling.

Does that bother me? It shouldn't.

But sometimes it does.

Friday, January 30, 6:17 p.m.
Leo called

Leo finally called and apologized for not having called. “I know it's been a while. College is a lot more work than I'm used to,” he said. He talked for a long time about tests and labs and papers he's been working on.

I wasn't feeling forgiving. I had cramps and I'd been in a bad mood for a few days. Not that it was all related to Leo, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Even if you're busy, it seems like you'd have time for a quick call once in a while.” My voice had an edge.

“I'm sorry,” said Leo.

He was quiet. It seemed like he was waiting for me to say,
I forgive you,
but I didn't. “April, what's going on?” he asked.

I realized I wanted to get things off my chest, but it wasn't easy to say what I was thinking. “Um, I guess . . . I feel like I care more about our friendship than you do.”

“That's not true,” said Leo.

“It seems like it is,” I said a little more boldly.

Leo hesitated. “It's not that. I promise.”

“Then what is it?” I asked. I wanted to know.

I heard someone talking in the background. It was a girl's voice. “Hold on,” said Leo.

“I'm coming,” I heard him say. But he wasn't talking to me.

“I have to go now. I'm going to dinner with my roommate and another friend. But I'll be home in two weeks, and we'll talk more.” His voice was matter-of-fact, like I'd asked for his notes from chemistry classes and he could just fill me in whenever we had more time.

Hmm, chemistry. I wonder if we have any?

9:45 p.m.

I keep thinking about my conversation with Leo.

I can't imagine what
it
is and why he couldn't or wouldn't tell me over the phone. Maybe he has a girlfriend and he doesn't want to tell me about her over the phone. Maybe that's who he was going to dinner with.

I've been thinking about it all night and it seems like that's the only thing it could be. I'm going to ask him about it next time he calls.

If there's a next time.

Saturday, January 31, 2:45 p.m.
At Flora's Fashions with Mom

I went to the store with Mom this morning. Another department store placed an order, so she had a lot to do and I volunteered to help out. The morning was really busy. There were a lot of customers coming in and out, so while Mom helped them, I answered the phone and put clothes that people tried on back on the racks.

When the morning rush died down, I went next door to the deli to get sandwiches for us. As I watched the new guy make my sandwiches, I smiled to myself as I pictured Leo making sandwiches in his dorm room. Then I stopped smiling when I thought about the possibility of him making them for his girlfriend too.

When I went back to the store with the sandwiches, Mom hung her
back in an hour
sign on the door, and we sat down to eat. “What's the matter?” she asked. “You look upset.”

“Nothing,” I lied. I didn't want to get into it with her. I pointed to the bolts of crimson, white, and teal fabrics stacked neatly behind the counter. “Are those for the new order?” I asked.

That was a subject Mom was happy to talk about. She got up and went to the counter. When she came back she had a large notebook. “These are the designs,” she said as she showed me pages filled with skirts, tops, and pants.

“They look great!” I said to Mom.

“Thanks, honey.” She smiled like she really did appreciate my stamp of approval. “I'm pleased with how well everything is going. It's a dream come true, really.”

Talking about Mom's hopes and dreams was a welcome distraction from everything I'd been thinking about lately. “How did you know what you wanted to be?”

Mom took a long sip from her water bottle before she answered. “When I was a little girl, I used to spend hours at the sewing machine. I've always wanted to be a fashion designer, even when I was your age.”