Read Tough Love (Hidden Secrets) Online
Authors: P. J. Belden
Walking
down the hall, I went into the playroom to find the boys looking sad. “Hey guys, what’s wrong?”
“Jack!”
They squealed.
After
their excitement calmed down a bit, I sat on the couch. “Sissy tells me you’re not talking to her. Why not?”
“She
made us leave when we were having fun,” Sebastian said, quietly.
“She
yelled at us,” Atreyu said just as quietly.
Taking
a deep breath, “Guys, your sister has a lot going on right now. She shouldn’t have yelled, but sometimes adults do things they don’t mean when they are overwhelmed by something. I bet you she is really sorry.”
We
sat and talked for a bit longer before they wanted to play a game. I have to say I was kind of getting addicted to this
Minecraft
game. It was so simple, but yet so damn intriguing.
“Hey,
I know you guys aren’t talking to me, but I’m going out. Jack’s going to stay with you…”
“Damn,”
I breathe. “You look breathtaking.” I had to shift in my seat and pray she doesn’t see my body’s reaction to her.
She
blushes. Shannon had put the sides of her hair up and curled it. She wore a little make-up and had a tight low cut white shirt with a jacket thing over it. A cute little black skirt and heels finished her outfit. Damn, my chest tightens and again a feeling of change washes over me.
“Thank
you. Take care of them please. I’ll be home soon.”
This
night was going to drag!
“It
is not!”
“Hey!
What is going on?”
“Why
is she going out?”
“Because
Scott asked her on a date.”
“But
it doesn’t make sense.” Sebastian says, shaking is head.
“What
doesn’t?”
“She
is happy with you. Then last night while she was in her room, she’s listening to a song about love, saying she has to get over you.”
My
heart stopped.
Shannon
Seeing
Jack’s reaction to the way I looked really lifted my mood. But it kind of fell flat when Scott showed up. It wasn’t that he was rude or inconsiderate, but it just wasn’t the reaction I had hoped to get. Conversation flowed between us easily, just as it had last night. Scott was a good guy and I did enjoy my time with him, but I got a sense of him not being ready for anything serious. Which I was okay with, but I wasn’t the jump in bed right away kind of woman.
So
as we walk up to the door at the end of the night, my heart hammered in my chest.
“Thank
you for tonight, Scott. I had fun.”
“I
enjoyed myself too.” He takes my hands in his. “You’re a lot of fun to be around.”
“Goodnight,
Scott.” I turn to go inside, but he pulls my hand, spins me around and kisses me.
I
pull away quickly. “I’m sorry Scott…”
“I
know, but you can’t blame me for trying,” he says with a smirk.
“You
know?”
“I’m
not a blind man, Shannon. I just hoped I might have a chance. I’m not angry, though.” He leans in and kisses my cheek again. “Thank you. If you need anything, I’m only a phone call away.” Smiling, he turns and walks away.
I
walk inside to a quiet house. Instead of going and checking on the boys, I walked out the back door and stood outside looking up at the sky. Everything was washing over me.
“Am
I not meant to be happy?” I said to the empty yard.
Looking
around, everything just felt so empty anymore. How did I get here? Why is it that I’m in love with a guy that cannot seem to love me back? Frustrated, I walked back inside. Slipping off my shoes, I walked down the hall when I saw the light in the living room on.
“Hey,
boys asleep?” I whispered when I walked in.
“Yeah,”
was all he said.
Walking
over, I sat at the other end of the couch. “Okay. Um, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I…”
My
sentence was cut short as Jackson pulled me to him and slammed his mouth down on mine. Holy shit! But just as fast as it happened, he pulled away and stood up pacing back and forth.
“I’m
sorry. I’m sorry…”
I
flew up off the couch, angrier than I’ve ever been. “You are unbelievable! God!” Storming over to him, I pushed him in the shoulder. “I went out on a date with a perfectly nice guy, but I couldn’t do anything beyond that because I’m so fucking stupid to be in love with a guy that hurts me on a daily basis because I’m not good enough for him.”
Turning
I stormed out of the living room and down the hall to my room. When I went to slam the door, it was forced back open before being slammed shut by Jack. Never before had I wished for a bigger room than I do right now. With Jack in here I just couldn’t breathe.
“What
do you want, Jack!” My voice was shaking.
“What
do I want? What do I want?” He looked at me, walking slowly up to me cupping my face in his hands. “I want you.” He whispered, lowering his head down.
Just
as his lips were about to reach mine, I whispered, “Please don’t stop.”
“I
don’t plan on it,” he breathed before taking my mouth with his.
The
kiss was gentle this time. His lips moved against mine before I felt his tongue run the seam of my lips. With a sigh, I opened my mouth granting his tongue entrance. With a little hesitation, I met my tongue with his. His tongue pushed against mine with such tenderness that it sent a buzzing feeling straight down my spine. Jackson’s hands moved from my face and traveled down my back, wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
My
hands fisted in his shirt holding on tight. The kiss deepened further. A moan filled my ears, but I don’t know if it was from me or from Jackson. He moved his hand up to my neck, running his thumbs back and forth. Then slid them down my shoulders, pushing my jacket off, I let it fall to the floor. Slowly he lowered me down to my bed, crawling on top of me, never breaking the kiss.
Jackson
moans loudly as his hands travel down my sides. He breaks the kiss, trailing kisses down my neck. One hand starts to run up my leg pushing my skirt up.
“Jackson…”
I breathe.
“Hmmm,”
he moans.
“Jackson,
this is too fast.”
Resting
his head against my shoulder, he starts laughing. Pushing his shoulder, he falls to the side laughing harder.
Sitting
up on my elbow, looking down at him. “I don’t see what is so funny here, but if you feel the need to keep laughing at me then you can go home!” I hissed climbing out of bed, leaving the room to find my purse.
When
I reached the living room, he wrapped is arms around my waist, pulling me back into his chest. Jackson lowers his head and nuzzles my neck, placing a few kisses across my shoulder.
“I
wasn’t laughing at you. My laughter was because of me. It’s been a while since I’ve even kissed a woman, so I got a bit carried away and almost embarrassed myself.”
“It’s
been a while for me too. I’m sorry, but I’m just not the type of person to rush into things like that.”
“Hey,”
he says softly as he turns me around. “Don’t ever apologize for that. We’ll take this slow. I’m just as nervous about it all, but I can’t push you away anymore.”
Just
as he began to kiss me again, my phone started to ring. Even without looking at it, the chill that ran down my spine was enough to tell me who was on the phone. Jackson noticed my tension.
“Who
is it?” He asks.
“I
don’t know…”
Jack
let go of me and walked over to my phone looking down at it. His confusion coming across his face. “It’s coming up ‘Mom’.”
I
nod my head. “Whoever it is calls and says they are my mom then blames me for killing them.” Tears well up in my eyes.
“No,
don’t cry. Everything will be okay. Let’s ignore these calls and get you in bed. Then I’ll see you tomorrow to get you moved into my house.”
Looking
down I bit my lip, “Jackson?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you mind staying here tonight? I know I took sex off the table, but…”
He
put his finger over my lips. “I have no problem with it. Do you want me on the couch?”
I
shook my head. Biting my lip, I looked up at him through my lashes. “No.”
He
groans. “I’ll share a bed with you if you stop giving me that look. I’m struggling with control as it is.”
I
laugh softly. “Deal.”
We
head to my room. Changing in the bathroom, I walked back into my room to find a half naked Jackson already laying in my bed. The sight was a breathtaking and heart racing vision. He pats the bed next to him with a smile on his face. Walking over, I crawl into bed. Jackson wraps his arms around me. We both sigh contently. Slowly, I drifted off into the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had.
Tomorrow
was going to be different. Tomorrow would be the first day of a different life for me. A life that I’ve finally found. A life I never thought I’d have. Tomorrow, I can freely kiss Jackson whenever I want and not worry about ruining our friendship. For the first time in a long time, I look forward to tomorrow. Snuggling in closer, I sigh again.
“You
need to stop that. Especially when you’re barely clothed as it is. Trying to picture you less sexy is impossible.”
I
laughed and he joined in. “Goodnight Jackson.” I whispered.
“
Goodnight, Beautiful.” He pressed a kiss to my head pulling me closer.
Jackson
Having
Shannon in my arms was far more than I thought it would feel like. She had me wrapped around her damn finger and she didn’t even know it. Part of me didn’t want to sleep. I was afraid of waking up tomorrow and it all being a dream. That I didn’t have the woman I’ve loved more than anything in this world, in my arms. My heart couldn’t handle that disappointment. Sadly, the little sleep I got last night won out and I fell asleep.
Movement
in my arms, woke me from the best sleep I’ve ever had. Opening my eyes, I’m met with the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever came across. She smiles shyly at me, biting her plump delicious lip. Unable to hold off any longer, I lean over and seal my lips over hers. When I tried to deepen the kiss, she pulled back.
“Good
morning, beautiful.” I smiled, running my knuckles down her cheek.
“Good
morning. Um,” she said, not meeting my eyes.
“What’s
wrong?” I asked, raising up on my elbow.
“I’m
just wondering… I mean is this…,” she sighs. “What is this?”
I
laughed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but you look so cute when you’re nervous.” I press a soft kiss to her lips. “This is a start. We’ll move slowly. Both of us need to adjust to this new idea of being a couple, but that is what I see us as.”
“You
do?”
“Yes,
so tell Scott to back off.”
“He
already is. We decided that last night.”
“But
I saw you kiss him,” I say nervously.
She
laughs softly. “That explains the caveman kiss. He kissed me. He wanted to see if he could get me over you.”
“Oh.”
“Okay, I need to get up and get breakfast started for the boys. You can go back to sleep if you want.”
Climbing
out of bed with her, “How about I help you?”
We
both got dressed and walked into the kitchen. Together we made pancakes and some fruit bowls with Greek yogurt. Shannon asks me to go get the boys. Opening their bedroom door, I froze, then laughter escaped.
“What?”
The boys asked in unison.
“Nothing,”
I laugh harder. “Come on, it’s time for breakfast.”
I’m
still laughing as we walk into the kitchen. Shannon looks up and smiles. “What’s so funny?”
“The
boys were still in their bedroom,” I said laughing.
She
archs her eyebrow in confusion, “Okay?”
“We
were helping.”
I
start laughing harder. “They have started packing.”
“I’m
struggling to find the humor in this.”
Laughing
still, I tell her to go look. She leaves and comes back in. I watched her mouth twitched, struggling to hold back laughter. Shannon walks to the counter, leaning on her hands. Standing next to her, I have tears in my eyes from trying to hold it in. When she looked up at me with the same face, I lost it. Sinking to the floor laughing harder than I’ve ever laughed before. Shannon places her hand on my shoulder, still trying to hold it in. Pulling her down in my lap, she loses it.
By
the time we pull ourselves together, the boys are looking at us like we are crazy. Shannon rested her head on my shoulder, her body still shaking with silent laughter. I look up at the boys.
“I’m
glad you guys are excited about staying at my house for a little bit, but um…”
“Guys,
you can’t tape up your clothes,” Shannon finishes.
The
boys look back and forth between each other. “We can’t play in the bags, glue is too messy, it was all we had left.” Sebastian says seriously.
Shannon
holds out her arms and they climb in our laps. “You should have waited. Now we have to untape your balls of clothes in there so we can pack them properly.” She pauses a moment. “Are you guys okay with staying at Jack’s for a little bit?”
“Yeah!”
They squeal.
Unsure
if I should say something or not, “I’m excited to have you guys there.”
“
Guys, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.” Shannon says.
“What?”
Atreyu says.
“Well,
Jack and I… We decided…” She tried.
“I
asked your sister out and she finally said yes, but we will only date if you guys are okay with it.”
“Yeah!”
They scream.
“Okay,
get your plates and go to the living room.”
They
grab their plates and start leaving the room.
Atreyu
asks Sebastian, “What’s dating mean?”
“I
don’t know, but Jack’s going to be around more.”
“All
right!”
I
look at Shannon and we both start laughing. Those boys were something else and I loved them more than anything. I’d jump through fire for them.
The
day went by in a flash it seemed. It was about four o’clock before Shannon was actually stepping foot inside my apartment. As we stand in the elevators, my stomach started doing flips. I worried she wouldn’t like it here. The only thing that was brought here were clothes.
“Are
you sure this is all we need here? I’d hate for the boys to mess up something of yours.”
Cupping
her face in my hands, “It’s fine. I purchased some toys for them. There’s a game room that we’ll be playing
Minecraft
in,” I wink at her.
“Jack…
”
I
put my finger over her lips. “Stop. I wouldn’t have offered if I was worried.”
“They
can be so much…”
“Hey,”
I lifted her head in my hands. “I love those boys. Don’t worry about it.”
She
takes a deep breath, “Okay. I’ll try not to. When will the boys be here?”
“Eli
asked that if it was okay with you, he’d like to keep them for the night.”
“Oh,
um… I’ve never been without them.”
“Eli
loves them just as much as I do. I promise they are in good hands. You wanted them to have others outside of you. Give them this chance.”
“Okay,
I guess.” She said nervously.
I
texted Eli the go ahead then showed Shannon around my place. Now it was my turn to be unsure, when she asked whose room was whose.
“Do
the boys need separate rooms?”
“No
they both do better together, but their play area needs to be separate from their rooms or they will not sleep.”
I
swallowed hard. “Do you need your own room?”
She
stopped and stared at me. “Jackson…”
“I
know it’s fast and we just crossed that line into dating, but last night was…”
“The
best night’s sleep I’ve had in a year. For the first time, I didn’t have nightmares.”
“Are
you saying you’ll share a room with me?”
“Are
you asking me?” she smiled shyly.
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
We
both laugh. When I finished the tour, we walked into the living room to sit on the couch. Wrapping her in my arms, we just sat there quietly. Honestly, I was scared. I’m working hard to push my anxiety away and just enjoy the woman in my arms. One day she will ask. One day she’ll want to know, but I’m not sure right now if I’ll be able to tell her. To tell her my shame, my guilt, I just wasn’t sure I’m ready to disappoint her.
“Hey
Jack?”
“Hmm,”
I hummed nervously.
“What
do you do when you’re home?”
“Daydream
about you,” I said without thinking. “Uh, I mean…”
She
starts laughing against me. Then she lifts her head, looking in my eyes. “Did you really or was that just something you said?”
“Embarrassingly
enough, it’s true.” I groaned.
“I
don’t get it. If you… Why have you been pushing me away?”
Wow!
That was a lot sooner than I thought it would be. “Will you settle with me telling you that I’m fighting with a past and I’ll share that with you soon?”
“Fair
enough. So other than dreaming about me… Since you have me here, what do you want to do?”
“Mmmm,
I could think of something,” I wiggled my eyebrows as I leaned over her until she laid on her back.
Laughing,
she rests her hands on my shoulder. “Too soon for that.”
“Hmmm,
then how about a little torture play then?”
Leaning
down, I kiss her deeply. “Yes, I could go for some of that.”
She
wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her. I moaned loudly as she massaged my tongue with hers. Pushing myself up on my arms, I moved my hand under her shirt. She moaned softly and I couldn’t help but grind myself into her.
“Damn
Jax. Did you forget I was still staying here?”
Groaning,
I sit up and pull Shannon up with me. “Yeah I did.” I grumbled.
“Oh
Shannon, hi. Damn Scott and my brother! Do I get a piece?” He half slurs.
“Jake,
I think you need to go sleep it off before you get hurt,” I growl.
“No,
how about I work it off,” Jake thrusts his hips forward, laughing.
“Jake!
This is the reason why you need to seek help brother. I’m not going to sit here and let you talk about my girlfriend like that.”
Jake
starts to stumble backwards. I move quickly to him. “I’m not feeling well Jack,” he says slowly, his eyes wide.
“What’d
you take Jake?” I asked worried.
“Jack,
please…”
I
turn to tell Shannon to get my bag, but she was already gone. However a few moments later she comes back into the room with a vile of something and hands it to me. Looking at her confused.
“Don’t
ask right now, just trust me.”
“Go
get my bag from my room. It’s by the bed.”
She
left and rushed back. As I was preparing things, she started talking to Jake. “Jake, look at me. I just gave Jack something to help cure you. You’ll feel better in a minute, okay?”
“Okay…”
Confused as to what was going on, I injected Jake with this stuff. She ran her hand through his hair, shushing him. She kept telling him that it will work real soon. Soon enough Jake started calming down. With Shannon’s help, we got Jake to his room and in bed. Once we got out in the hall, I pulled her into my arms.
“Care
to explain what I just blindly injected my brother with?”
She
laughs. “Nothing. It wasn’t anything. My uncle had a drug addiction and my mom was the only one that still let him come around. He was always needing a fix or would come over so tore up by something that mom just started carrying around that stuff and telling him it was whatever he needed at the time. It worked. She said his mind told him that it was whatever he needed and he relaxed. So I figured it might work here.”
“Thank
you. You do know that he’s not like that…”
“You
don’t have to apologize for him. He won’t even remember saying it tomorrow.”
“What
do you say we just go to bed. We’ve both had big days. You have an appointment tomorrow. I told Eli to keep the boys until after the appointment so you and I could
really
talk about Sebastian. Okay?”
“Okay,
but can we not bring doctor stuff home. Please?”
“Agreed.
Just wasn’t sure you remembered bout the appointment is all.”
“Let’s
go to bed.”