I was sitting on the bed drying my hair with a towel when I heard the front door open. Looking into the living room, I saw Bastian come in carrying a large bag. Relief washed over me. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how worried I had been over the past two days.
“You’re back,” I said softly as he walked into the bedroom.
He quirked a brow. “Did you miss me?”
I blushed and looked down at my lap. “If you disappeared, I would be stuck here, with no way to escape. The food was running low…” He chuckled. “I doubt that’s all. I have a feeling you missed me.” Maybe I had, but I wasn’t about to admit it. I’d sooner chew off my arm.
“What’s in the bag?” I asked.
“Food, and something special for you.”
“Special?”
He nodded. “I know you’re afraid, Enid, but you’ve done well. It will take some time before you welcome me into your bed. I know we’ll get there.” I fought the rush of panic and smiled at him, hoping to appease him. He hadn’t given me reason to distrust him, had been kind to me so far, but I was still uncertain.
He pulled out a short peach tunic style dress. It wasn’t much longer than the horrible thing I’d worn in the cell, but the material looked soft and pretty. “This is for you. I had it made with you in mind. While you can’t wear the clothing of a Vaaden woman, I don’t like you wearing the typical slave garment either.” I reached out and touched the material reverently. “Thank you,” I whispered.
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With a smile, he tugged me to my feet and slowly slid the shirt over my head, dropping it on the floor. I shivered, feeling exposed and vulnerable, but he quickly reached for the new dress and slipped it over my head.
The material was cool against my skin and so light I couldn’t tell I was wearing anything. “It’s beautiful,” I said softly.
“Not as beautiful as you.”
I looked at him in surprise, shocked to see the warmth in his eyes. I could tell he meant what he said. He’d surprised me with the kind gesture of having a dress made for me.
Showing false bravado, I smiled. “I bet you say that to your wife and other slaves too.”
He shook his head, his expression serious. “I have no wife, nor slaves except for you.”
“But, I thought… don’t Vaaden men have to…” I couldn’t say the words. I’d heard the men had to have sex on a regular basis or their health would suffer for it.
“Yes, we have to have sex often, otherwise we falter and eventually die.”
“But… if you aren’t sleeping with me and you don’t have a wife or another slave, aren’t you going to become ill?”
He shook his head. “As much as I hate using the public harems, I’ll go there until you’re ready. As it is, I’m only going every few days.” He caressed my cheek. “I would prefer to be with you.”
I blushed and looked down at my feet. “I wish things were different, that
I
was different.”
“I don’t. It will get easier with time, and before long you’ll be ready.” I looked at him skeptically. No matter what he said, he wouldn’t be able to convince me that I would ever get over the rape. I wanted to be a normal woman with normal needs, but I was afraid it would never happen. It wasn’t just the physical damage they had caused, but the mental anguish that had gone along with it. I still had
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nightmares. They had eased some since Bastian had come into my life, but they remained, hiding in the shadows of my mind.
“Come on, let’s get you fed.” He took my hand and led me into the other room. I noticed the food containers out on the table and my stomach rumbled. I hadn’t lied when I’d told him the food was running low. Before he’d returned, I was ready to ration my meals to make sure I had enough to last, not knowing how long he would be gone.
* * *
Sitting on some pillows on the floor, he read to me. I wanted to know more about the planet I now had to call home. When I’d relaxed, he reached out an arm and pulled me close. I immediately stiffened again, but he didn’t release me. After a few minutes, I settled against him, convincing my body he wouldn’t hurt me. In my mind, I already knew he would never harm me. He’d been far too kind for a monster to be lurking within him.
He closed the book and looked down into my upturned face. “I promised you I would be slow and patient.” He reached out to caress my face and my heart thundered in my chest. “I’m going to kiss you, Enid.” Fighting against the lightheaded feeling and the black dots that swam before my eyes, I felt his lips touch mine. He was gentle, his lips coaxing me to kiss him back. I tried to respond to his kiss, but my lips wouldn’t cooperate. My jaw locked.
Somehow, I managed not to pass out. When his tongue touched the seam of my lips, I sucked in a large breath, air filling my oxygen-deprived lungs. I hadn’t realized until then that I had been holding my breath.
“Kiss me back, Enid,” he whispered against my mouth.
“I’m trying,” I answered softly, and I really was. I wanted to make him happy, but my body refused to obey. Bastian was kind and patient, the type of man I’d always wanted to find. He was always gentle with me and I knew he would never hurt me intentionally, and yet I was unable to submit to him completely.
His fingers trailed along my jaw, sending shivers down my spine. As his tongue delved between my lips, I felt as if someone had tipped me over a cliff. I’d never
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experienced the heady feelings he invoked in me. His kiss was gentle yet demanding, as if begging me to kiss him back.
Tentatively, I responded to his kiss, my motions stiff at first. As a tidal wave of emotion swept over me, I relaxed against him and kissed him with a hunger that surprised me. My hands rested against his chest and I felt the hard contours beneath my palms. The reminder of how strong he was made me pull back, feeling hesitant once more.
He smiled at me and caressed my jaw. “Thank you, Enid.”
“For what?”
“For kissing me back, for trying.”
I smiled back at him and slowly leaned against him again, allowing him to hold me. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
I woke the next morning to find myself draped across Bastian. A quick look showed me he was still asleep and I tried to ease away. His arms tightened around me, holding me in place. Panic surfaced for a moment, but I fought it back down, refusing to give in to the blackness anymore.
The previous night, Bastian crawled beneath the sheets next to me. His eyes raking over me, making me wonder what he was thinking. He’d held his arms open in a silent invitation and I’d answered by cuddling up next to him.
Having him hold me was pleasant. With Bastian’s strong arms surrounding me, I knew that no one would harm me. And for the first time in what seemed like forever, I was able to sleep without nightmares haunting me.
Now, feeling braver, I reached up and traced his strong jaw, feeling his whiskers rasp against my fingers. If possible, he was even sexier with a five o’clock shadow.
Violet eyes slowly opened and studied me. Taking care not to scare me, he shifted so I lay fully on top of him. His arms loosened around me, giving me the freedom to leave if that’s what I desired.
His tenderness touched me and tears sprang to my eyes.
He frowned and wiped them away with his thumb. “Why are you crying, little one?”
“You’re so good to me, so gentle.”
He smiled. “You’re easy to please if that’s all it takes.” I laughed and settled my head on his chest, allowing his hands to stroke down my back. “Did you know that I didn’t have a single nightmare last night? It’s the first time I haven’t dreamt of…”
“Shhh. You don’t have to speak of it.”
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I nodded and hugged him.
I could tell I had surprised him by the gesture and his hands stopped rubbing my back for a moment. His fingers trailed down my arms and back up, causing goose bumps to rise in their wake. I felt butterflies in my stomach, but the good kind.
“I want you to take a shower with me,” he murmured against my hair.
I nodded and rose from the bed. His heated gaze followed me to the bathroom where he joined me a moment later. Starting the water, he reached for me, slowly lifting the dress over my head. He set it aside carefully before stripping off his own clothing.
Stepping into the shower, I let the warm water run down my body. I held out a hand to him, letting him know it was okay to join me. He grasped my fingers and stepped under the water with me. His body was close enough that I could feel the heat of his skin, but he wasn’t touching me.
I had an idea, but I wasn’t sure if he would like it. I would never get over my fear of men unless I could do a little exploring.
“Bastian, may I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Would you let me wash you?”
His eyes changed to a dark purple and I realized my request had sparked his desire. “If you wish.”
I held my hand under the dispenser on the wall and cool gel oozed into my hand. Slowly, I lathered his neck and shoulders, working my way down his arms to his hands. Raising my eyes to meet his, I soaped his chest, sliding my hands down his abdomen.
Looking down, I saw that his cock was long and hard, and I swallowed down my fear. I knew that Bastian wouldn’t hurt me. He’d already assured me that he wouldn’t take me against my will.
I reached down and soaped his cock from head to base, thrilling at the hiss he emitted. I stroked him a few times, marveling at the feel of him in my hand.
“Enid, if you don’t stop…” he said in a strangled voice.
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Thanks to reading countless romance novels, I understood what he meant. I was torturing him without meaning to do so. “I’m sorry.” I immediately released him and he turned his back to me. I lathered him down to his narrow hips. My hands skimmed over the cheeks of his ass and I felt his body tense under my fingers.
With a low growl, he turned to face me. “Enough. If you keep touching me, I won’t be able to hold back.”
My hands dropped to my sides.
“Let me wash you,” he said as he lathered his hands with the gel.
Nudging me toward the back wall of the shower, one of the few places the water didn’t reach, he massaged the gel into my neck and shoulders, easing my tense muscles.
With his heated gaze on mine, his hands dipped down, cupping my breasts. I forced myself to stay upright, to not faint, but just barely. His hands glided over my stomach and down my hips. When he reached between my legs, black dots swam before my eyes.
“Bastian…”
He understood and stopped. “We have to work past this, Enid. You’ve improved since coming here, but you still have a ways to go.”
“I know. I know I do, and I’m trying.” I desperately wanted him to believe me.
With a sigh, he motioned for me to turn around. He soaped my back and quickly slid his hands over my ass, not lingering, as I knew he wanted to do. Pulling me back under the spray, we both rinsed.
He turned off the water and reached for a towel, holding it open for me. Gently wrapping me up, he lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bed.
“Bastian?”
His eyes stayed on mine as he slowly unwrapped the towel, not paying any heed to the fact he was dripping water on the floor.
“Bastian, what are you…”
“I just want to look at you. Can I do that much at least?”
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I nodded. As his eyes devoured me, I felt my nipples pucker and blushed in embarrassment. My body wanted him, even though my mind wasn’t ready yet. I watched as his hands reached out to cup my breasts, his thumbs stroking over my nipples.
My body shivered in both desire and fear. He spread my legs, and his hands caressed my thighs. My breath came out in short pants and I knew I was going to hyperventilate if I didn’t calm down.
“Easy,” he murmured. “I’m going to ask something of you, but it doesn’t require me to touch you.”
“What is it?”
He moved between my legs, spreading them further. I felt my pussy open to him and I fought the urge to scramble away. His cock was heavy and full, throbbing with his need to be inside of me.
“I want to pleasure myself while I look at you.” My eyes flew to his in surprise.
“And I want you to watch while I do it.”
He gave me a wicked grin and reached for his cock. As he stroked himself, his hand caressed my thigh, eyes fastened on my pussy. I watched as he stroked himself faster and harder, and felt my pussy grow wet with need.
Throwing back his head, he ejaculated on my stomach, his seed warm and sticky against my skin. I knew I should be horrified or terrified, but I was intrigued.
He leaned down and gently kissed my lips. “Thank you.” With a wink, he pulled my towel out from under me and cleaned my stomach and then his cock.
I still lay sprawled on the bed, confused by the ache I felt between my legs, the desire curling in my belly. His eyes drank me in and I watched in wide-eyed wonder as his cock grew hard again.
He sighed and pulled on some pants before tossing my dress to me. “You’d better cover up. As much as I love looking at you, it’s only going to torment me.”
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I did as he commanded, the material scraping across my erect nipples causing them to pucker even more. I’d never desired someone before and the feelings were both exciting and scary. But one thing was certain, I would not only end up under Bastian, but I would enjoy every minute of it. His kindness and patience with me had made me quickly overcome my fears. I’d never thought it would be possible, but I wanted to be with him more than anything. The scariest part -- I felt like I could easily fall in love with him.
The next day, Bastian disappeared again. This time I knew he was going to the harem. There was a twinge in my chest, but I ignored it. Until I was ready to please him, I had no right to be upset over him sleeping with someone else. I had no claim on him.
Curious about the things I’d felt the previous day, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Lifting my peach dress over my head, I stared at my reflection. My breasts were full and heavy, my waist slim, leading to hips that flared gently. The red curls at the junction of my thighs stood starkly against my pale skin.
Drawing in a breath, I decided to experiment a little. I cupped my breasts and slowly stroked my nipples. They immediately reacted, hardening into points. I gently squeezed them between my fingers, and pleasure zinged through me, leaving me dazed. I’d never touched myself before and felt a little awkward doing so now.
I slid a hand down my torso and my fingers brushed against my pussy. I was slick and wet. Delving between the lips, I found my clit swollen with need. As my fingers brushed across it, I gasped in pleasure. I rubbed myself again and again, until finally, a tidal wave washed over me as pleasure unlike anything I’d experienced before overtook me, leaving me weak.
After knowing the pleasure I could experience with Bastian, I wanted him to touch me. If only my brain would get the message! I still felt a little hesitant, but I was working on it.
Turning on the shower, I decided to clean up. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out Bastian could smell my arousal. I wasn’t sure how long he would be gone, but maybe I would be ready for him when he came back.
* * *
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I actually didn’t have to wait too long. He came back before night; at least, I assumed it was before night. My quarters didn’t have a single window and time stretched endlessly. When he entered the bedroom, he found me stretched across the bed, re-reading one of the books he’d left for me.
My dress had ridden up and barely covered my ass. I watched as his eyes flared, desire turning them to a dark purple. I swallowed my anxiety and tossed the book onto the floor. Crawling onto my knees, I placed my hands against his chest.
He backed away as if burned by my touch. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be back in a minute.”
I watched as he hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. A moment later, I heard the water turn on and listened to the sounds of him bathing.
When I heard him groan, I realized he had pleasured himself while he was in there. My face flushed hot and I licked my lips. It was time.
With a towel wrapped around his waist, he walked back into the room. He looked so good I couldn’t resist going to him.
“What are you doing?” he asked as I touched his bare chest.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, unsure if I would be able to follow through or not.
But I wanted to and that was a step in the right direction.
“Enid, if you aren’t ready…”
“I think I might be.”
He sucked in a breath and let my hands explore his chest. After a moment, I reached for the towel and loosened it, letting it fall to the floor. I studied his hard cock, surprised that the previous feelings of fear and anxiety weren’t there. I only felt desire.
Tentatively, I reached out and stroked him, fascinated by the velvety feel of him against my hand.
He moaned and thrust against my hand, ecstasy etching his features. “You’re trying to kill me.”
I smiled thrilled that he enjoyed what I was doing. It gave me a sense of empowerment knowing that in this, he was at my mercy. I stilled as he tentatively
23
reached up to stroke my hair, and then my face, his fingers trailing across my cheekbones. Slowly, he leaned forward giving me plenty of time to pull away, and he brushed his lips across mine in a tender kiss. His lips stroked my mine gently, as if afraid to hurt me or scare me, and something inside of me broke.
A tear slid down my cheek and he caught it with his fingers.
“We can stop if we need to.”
I shook my head. “I’m not afraid.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“Because no one’s ever been so careful with me, ever cared about my feelings or desires. I’ve never dated much, and my family has always been distant.” His eyes softened and he kissed me again, his lips lingering against mine. “I promise I’ll never hurt you.”
I gave him a tremulous smile. While I didn’t trust men as a rule, I knew I could believe him. He was different from the others. The few Vaaden men I’d seen seemed to be barbaric, but Bastian was kind and considerate, even more so than the men on Earth.
Backing toward the bed, I tugged him along with me. When I felt the backs of my knees touch the bed, I lay down, pulling him down on top of me. This time, I instigated the kiss, my hands trailing over his shoulders and down his back, feeling the muscles ripple under my fingers.
I felt his hand caress my breast, lightly pinching the nipple and I gasped in both shock and pleasure. He nudged my knees apart and settled between them and I felt his cock against my pussy.
His hand trailed down my stomach, dipping between my legs. His fingers parted my pussy and teased my clit, stroking it in small circles. As he stroked me faster and harder, I felt pressure building inside of me. When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, I cried out his name and arched off the bed, my first orgasm instigated by a man ripping through me like a tidal wave.
He kissed the side of my neck and the head of his cock gently pushed inside of me. “Are you sure, Enid?”
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I nodded, unable to speak after the incredible pleasure I’d just experienced.
He slowly entered me, giving me time to adjust to his length and width, stretching me. The experience wasn’t unpleasant, just different. As he began to move with slow strokes, I found myself lifting my hips to meet him, wanting to feel him deeper inside of me. I’d never felt connected to someone before, but at that moment, I felt as if Bastian and I shared something special.
“You feel incredible,” he whispered in my ear.
“So you do,” I responded shyly.
He chuckled and continued his slow rhythm. I didn’t know much about making love, but I knew there was more to it than this. I wiggled my hips and then froze at the intense look on his face as he stared into my eyes.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know that? I could lose control.” I shook my head. “You’re careful with me. I know you won’t hurt me.” He thrust into me harder, each stroke becoming faster and deeper until I thought I would die from the pleasure of it. As I felt a warmth spread through me, I arched against him one last time, the intensity of my orgasm stealing the breath from my lungs.
He collapsed beside me and pulled me into his arms. I snuggled next to him, feeling content.
“I think it’s safe to say you’re over your problem trusting men,” he said in a drowsy voice.
“Not men. You.”
He kissed the top of my head and a few minutes later I felt his breathing even out and knew he was asleep. Closing my eyes, I lay in his arms and smiled.