Vanished (9 page)

Papria stuffed the quick flash of anger down.
Hadn’t she proven she could handle herself? “Another,” she asked, and Vendas’ appreciative smile turned to her.

“So what do you think Earth will be like?” he asked, his glass between his fingers. He placed the edge of the bottom on the counter, his wrist flicking as he circled the bottom of it on the white counter.

She shrugged, drinking the liquor in a quick gulp. “Like the images the drones captured. Green in some places, huge cities in others, deserts, expanses of water.” She counted how many she’d had, wondering why the world seemed to be blurring. Three wasn’t enough to get her drunk, no way.

“The idea of natural land is so weird.”  He motioned the man to fill her glass again.

For a moment, she wished things had been different. If she’d been paired with him, before all this mess… He was the kind of man she’d have loved, the kind who evoked the playful side of her with ease. Without regard, he drew the old her out, made her forget the events that had taken place.

“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?” Her words, edged with laughter
, extracted two very different reactions in the men.

Radek stiffened
beside her, every muscle in his body growing tense. Heat radiated off him; his suit seams protested with tiny creaks as they snapped taut.

Vendas’ mouth
just dropped open. “That’s all it takes?” He gestured to the cook. “Two more over here!” 

She stifled a grin
at his teasing, but Radek slipped off his stool. He crossed behind her, his hands closed on Vendas’ shoulders, and the green-eyed man flinched. The two struggled a bit, but Radek won the little battle, ripping Vendas away from her while speaking in a conversational tone.

“I’m sorry, this was a bad idea. We can go, if you want.
I’ll take you back to your room.” He released Vendas, who caught his balance and straightened his suit with a quick jerk.

Vendas
arched a brow at her, but she ignored him, focusing on Radek. “Look, you’re nice, but this,” she gestured to him and then herself, “isn’t working. Just… give me some space, please.”

His expression darkened, and he glanced over his shoulder at Vendas, who stared at the ceiling, pretending not to listen. He turned back to her, his frustration clear in his words.

“Fine. I’ll back off, then.” With short, angry strides he stormed from the room, leaving the lingering scent of mint and pine.

She turned back to Vendas, who eyed her, as
if unsure what to say or do. “Are your breakups always this tense?”

She giggled
, her head so light she didn’t care anymore. “You have
no
idea.”

His quick grin cleared the rest of the tension.
“Some people have no sense of humor. And some just need the shit kicked out of them.”

He downed a drink, and she followed suit. The lightheadedness fluffing up her brain suddenly seemed very funny, and she laughed. Vendas
leaned closer to her, his shoulder bumping hers.

“What’s so funny?”

“I can’t believe I’m here, and that all this has happened. It’s like a nightmare that suddenly turned into the best dream you’ve ever had.”

He shook his head. “Amen to that.” With steady fingers, he lifted his drink in her direction again and knocked it back. She slid down off the
stool, wondering when the world would stop spinning.

Some remnant of a demon flashed in her mind and she jerked awake. Snores issued through the room, and she glanced around, trying to remember what had happened. Across the room an arm and leg hung off the edge of a white couch. Dark green hair peeked at her from under a snow-colored blanket.

She crept from bed, a jagged slash of pain slamming through her head.
Despite the pain, she tiptoed to the nightstand, pulling a knife from the gear. Silent as death, she made her way to the intruder. Pouncing on him, she pressed her knife to his throat in time to feel the cold bite of steel against her hip.

“Why the hell are you here?” She growled the words into his sleepy face. What the hell made him think this was a good idea? She pressed the blade tighter to his flesh, the prick of his
knife digging into her side. Pain didn’t register over the absolute fury raging in her blood.

The mixture of fear and danger in his eyes warned her he wasn’t quite awake, but she didn’t care. Why was he here? What had he done? Horrified, she realized his chest was bare, the blanket pinning his hips not offering more evidence of his crimes.

His own words were tense, and she sensed a struggle in him. “I brought you back and stayed in case you decided to drown in your own barf.”

She wondered why he wasn’t backing down. The unnatural feel of threatening her showed in the sheen of sweat on his brow, the quick shifting of his eyes, the shaking of the hand holding the knife to her side.
It was hurting him, yet he wasn’t relinquishing control to her.

Holding firm, she pressed into her blade a bit more, the skin reddening around the gleaming metal. When his weapon didn’t move, she relented, releasing him. At the same instant, she realized his knife had
slipped to the ground, the muffled thud of it drawing her attention.

She spoke, her words slow, enunciated.
“I will say this once. I am
not
interested.”

It was clear now. He could conjure her playful side, but the past remained, even if he made her
forget for a moment. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t handle the back and forth. It was too painful.

The flash in his eyes warned her
he could sense her pain and distress. Guilt began to replace her receding anger.

“
Get out of my room,
now
.” She retreated off the couch, back toward her own bed and he rose, gathering his suit and other items. She averted her eyes, not wanting to catch sight of him in shorts, anger washing over her in droves. His awkward motions warned her he felt her pain, but the demons circling her mind wouldn’t allow her to call him close for comfort.

He turned. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“Nothing happened.”

“That’s not the point. Get out.” She pointed to the door, holding back the tears that blinded her.

The door slid open, and she caught sight of Radek, his bro
w shooting up in shock when Vendas passed. “People were asking where you were, Vendas, but I guess that’s a silly question. Are you aware you’ve been out for over a day? No one knew where you were.” Radek’s harsh tone echoed down the hall, but Papria had the sensation that Vendas was walking away, refusing to engage the other man’s anger.

She jumped to her feet, racing to catch
Radek, glad she was still fully dressed. Through the open door she sprinted toward his retreating figure. He turned, heading down a hallway, his anger showing in every short step. She caught up with him.

“Radek
, it isn’t what it looks like.” Guilt, anger, confusion muddied her thoughts, none quite making it to the top. Some need to patch things up between them rushed through her, though, and she was determined to see it through.

He stopped, his
wide shoulders squaring before he turned. “I don’t control you, nor would I stop you from… whatever it is you wish to do.” His impassive features stared forward, not bothering to meet her glance. The subtle snub angered her. The council had looked right through her too.

She crossed her arms
, eyes narrowing, silently daring him to push. “But?”

He continued
, blue eyes dropping to hers before jerking back to some imagined spot behind her. “But I worry about your choices. You just went through a very traumatic ordeal-“

“Look, I’m
fine
. Why don’t you get that?” Her anger lashed out at him, and he turned an incredulous look on her.

“Fine? You’re
fine
? You punched me twice for ripping your suit to heal a
gunshot wound
. You almost broke Zoltan’s finger for touching your shoulder. You tried to break my damn wrists for catching you so you wouldn’t fall. You beat the shit out of Zoltan for something that happened in a simulation. Then, you got drunk and did god knows what with someone you barely know.” For an instant, his expression shifted to pity, infuriating her more than his anger would have.

“
That’s
fine
? Have you forgotten that we can
sense
your pain? I can taste it, it’s rolling off you like smoke from a fire. As much as you don’t want to believe it, you need help. You need to deal with this, not pretend it didn’t happen.” He shook his head, his stance taking on a standoffish intensity.

Her eyes welled up at his words, anger bursting through every inch of her. She trembled with fury. Advancing on him, she sho
ved a finger against his chest, ignoring the challenge in his eyes. He was baiting her, trying to get her to give herself away and she knew it.

“It’s none of your business who I take to my room. And I told you, it wasn’t what it looked like. Why am I even explaining this to you? Just back off. I don’t need you to constantly remind me…” Her words trailed off, pain slamming into her as she thought about it.
Images flashed in her mind, any shred of control she had threatening to snap. She clenched her jaw, forcing the words to be steady.

“Leave me alone.” She spun around, walking
away with her head held high. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

His words echoed behind her. “You can’t run from it.”

As if to defy him, she broke into sprint. Her head screamed, a throbbing behind her eyes growing sharper every moment. Back at her room, she opened the door and made a beeline for the bathroom to hurl.

Wondering if anyone would notice if she curled up and died of embarrassment, she inched
back out of the room, worried her stomach might go again. She plopped down on her bed, trying to clear the tears and anger.

For a moment
she thought about the night before, wondering where Vendas’ teasing left off and honesty picked up. Had she led him on? Had he been serious when she thought he was just joking around?

With a groan, she pressed her elbows to her knees and dropped her head to her hands. “Anything else?” she asked, wondering what could
possibly go wrong. Things were such a twisted mess, with Vendas, with Zoltan, with Radek, but mostly with herself. The sensation she was absolutely alone tore through her. No one could ever understand. No one had ever been through this, she was a freak among her kind, and nothing seemed simple anymore.

Tears slid down her cheeks to dot her legs; her fingers tangled in her hair, tugging at the roots. The flash of pain seemed right somehow, and that realization frightened her.

A knock sounded at the door. She spoke without thinking, her voice thick with tears. “Go away.” The door slid open to reveal Farali’s pretty, feline-like face. Red hair shone in the light, and green eyes sparkled as the woman gave her a questioning look.

“
Sorry, have to check on you. Protocol.”

Papria crossed her arms. “I didn’t know you were here.
I don’t want to talk to you.”

Farali moved closer, taking a seat on the couch across the room.
“I’m sorry.” Her warm words brought fresh tears to Papria’s eyes. She hesitated before speaking again. “I was cold when you really needed gentleness, but I couldn’t give anything away, or the council would have made sure you were euthanized.”

Papria looked out the windows, watching the stars. The moisture on her cheeks didn’t abate, no matter how much she begged and threatened internally.

Silence fell, and Papria sensed the woman’s eyes on her. She gave a nod, unable to speak around the painful lump in her throat.

Farali’s tone was soft.
“After the trials, some mental distress is expected. I want to you know I have to evaluate everyone.”

The unspoken end of the sentence eased a bit of Papria’s fears. It wasn’t her alone Farali was worried about, but everyone.

“Tell me, how are you? I heard you didn’t check in yesterday, and you’re not eating.”

Papria glanced to the
woman, her eyes dancing away when she read the concern in the other woman’s expression. The realization Farali knew she wasn’t the only one who didn’t check in sent fire blazing over Papria’s cheeks.

“Good. I’m good.”
The words popped out, and she hated herself for the knee-jerk reaction. It would have been nice to open up, but she couldn’t trust the woman. Or any woman. Ever again. She covered a damp spot on her pants where a tear dotted the material.

“Are you experiencing anything off? Flashbacks, rage, fear?” Farali
stared at her, eyes expectant and Papria wondered how much she knew without having been told.

“Look, I don’t want to talk. My head hurts, and I need a shower.” She crossed her arms, daring Farali to ask more questions.

Instead, she
stood, offering her hand. “Thank you for seeing me. You are welcome to come talk to me anytime.”