Various States of Undress (15 page)

Suddenly, he completely understood what she meant by feeling trapped. Unlike her, he hadn’t bothered to seriously consider what would come next in life. He knew he wouldn’t be on presidential detail forever. He could work for Uncle Sam for the long haul, but did he really want to move all over, all the time? If he even ended up with a family of his own, would he end up putting them second . . . or third . . . like his father had?

Knowing that Regina and Carolina were watching him closely, he tried to smile. It didn’t work. Finally, he let out a large sigh. “Just the thought of doing security for the rest of my life makes me want to jump out that window over there. I . . . I’ve thought about quitting my job. I’ve dreamed about being a pitching coach for—hell, I don’t know—some small college in Florida, maybe. Find kids with potential—kids who don’t have superstar written all over them from the get-go. Give them support, encouragement. And then see where that takes me.” He ran out of breath as he finished talking and the last few words came out on a croak.

Carolina blinked at him. “You want to be a . . . teacher?”

“Yeah, I’d like that, but it’s not reality.” He shrugged. “It’s just a pipe dream.”

“It’s not a pipe dream. It’s your future, if you want it to be.” Regina pointed at Carolina. “And you?”

Jake glanced at Carolina’s petite face. It was white—pinched around her mouth. He knew what she wanted to say, and also that she hated to admit that she
didn’t
want to be a teacher. But she needed to let it out. If she didn’t, she would just retreat further into herself. There was nothing he could do to make her feel better, either. She needed to do that on her own. Nodding at her in encouragement, he touched her arm briefly. “Tell her. You’ll feel better.”

Carolina raised one stiff eyebrow. “I can’t believe
you
talked. Have you been sniffing that plant in the corner?” she muttered.

“There’s nothing weird about that plant and it’s not what you assume it is. Kind of like all of us standing here,” Regina said. “Now quit stalling and talk.”

Jake glanced at both women, a smile playing around his lips. “Carolina, it’s not that hard. Just tell her.”

But he had to admit, it was surreal, standing in a second-floor greenhouse in a cabin in Wyoming, surrounded by tons of snow and spilling deep, dark secrets to a woman who
looked
like a Keebler elf, but had the personality of a pit bull. And what’s more—he felt good about it. For now. But he knew himself—and later he would be kicking his own ass for being so open. What the hell was happening? Why hadn’t he changed the subject when he had a chance? Maybe it was because he wanted to hear Carolina’s answer. He wanted to know what the future held for her.

“Regina,” Carolina began. “When did you decide you wanted to be a photographer?”

“When I was six.”

Carolina nodded. “When I was six I wanted to live in a Barbie dream house. I had no clue beyond that. It’s taken years to finally realize what I want to do with myself.”

Regina grinned. “Are you going to drop out of school?”

“Drop out?” Carolina paused. “I
want
to. It’s not that I don’t still have a lot to learn, but I can’t think of a better teacher than you.”

In response, Regina pulled her into a big hug and then drew back, squeezing Carolina’s shoulders. “You ought to know something, though. If you decide to study with me, I’ll put you through the ringer. I’ll criticize every photo you take. No mercy,” she warned.

“Well, thank God for that.” Carolina laughed. “Finally someone who’s not afraid to tell a First Daughter like it is.”

Jake found himself laughing along with her, sharing her relief. Regina was the best thing for Carolina right now—someone who would take Carolina at face value. Treat her like a normal human being. Carolina deserved nothing less, and that’s what he’d been doing too, hadn’t he? He’d
tried
to do that—when he wasn’t protecting her with his life, that is. Which was all the time.

The smile fell away from his face as his own cursed analytical mind began to work, spoiling his rare happy mood. He had to face facts. The truth was, as long as he was her professional protector, he couldn’t truly let himself see her as
just
Carolina. And because of that, she couldn’t truly know him, either.

Turning away before the women noticed his resurgence of anxiety, he strolled down a narrow row. Thick plants brushed his shoulders and he rolled his head on his shoulders. Who was he kidding? He and Carolina had a snowball’s chance in hell of actually moving beyond their time in Wyoming—and there were a lot of snowballs out here. Nobody could change that, not even Regina. The feisty old woman might have her heart in the right place, but she didn’t realize that she was just feeding them feel-good garbage. She didn’t have anyone to answer to but herself, so it was hardly a surprise that she didn’t see the big, complicated picture.

He could. It wasn’t pretty.

Absently, he walked to the bank of windows and looked out. Snow-covered mountains arched steeply as far as the eye could see. Little smudgy sticks of hardwood trees on the horizon poked up here and there—a reminder that eventually, everything would change. The snow would melt, the season would turn, the trees would branch out, and life would move on. He would move on. And Carolina would too. They had to. It was their duty.

“Jake?”

He turned and smiled down at Carolina, who wore a hopeful look on her lovely face. Before he could stop himself, he reached down and touched her cheekbone. “Happy?”

She nodded, but then turned to glance out the window, her expression thoughtful. “Honestly? I’m not sure I can be happy if you aren’t.”

Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked away, disappearing from his watchful gaze as the plants closed around her.

A
S THE SHADOWS
grew dark later that evening, Carolina moved restlessly in the kitchen, stacking clean dishes in the cupboards and wiping down the counters. In the background, the bursts of laughter from the TV were getting on her nerves. All afternoon she’d been thinking about the grilling she and Jake had both received from Regina. And the more she thought about her future, the more tied up in knots she became. She didn’t want to go back to school. She didn’t want to keep up this charade with Jake either—pretending to everyone but him that she didn’t care about him one way or the other. She did care.

And she wanted their relationship to be real.

Jake didn’t seem to be aware, though, and he didn’t seem to be bothered by the too-loud TV. He just sat kicked back on the sofa, his ankles crossed in front of him on the coffee table, watching
Jeopardy
. “Final question,” he called out. “Want to make a bet?”

“What’s the category?” She tossed the dishtowel on the counter and walked to the sofa, leaning over to run her fingers through his hair.

“Memorable moments in sports.”

Carolina made a face. “Okay, I’ll gamble.” She sat down next to him and settled her legs over his. “How much cash does the top player have?”

“Twenty grand.” Jake grinned at her. “I bet half.”

She grinned back. “I bet it all.”

He shook his head. “Big risk.”

“Big payoff,” she countered.

He leaned forward and grabbed a notebook and pen from the coffee table. “I think we ought to make the bet more interesting.” Glancing up, his gaze focused on her mouth. “I win and you give me kisses. Lots of them in lots of places.”

“That sounds like a win-win,” she said, and grabbed the notebook from him to tear out a sheet.

Jake chuckled. “And if you win?”

She hesitated a moment. “We have a chat,” she answered. “And I choose the subject.”

“Sounds ominous.”

“It might be, but I hope not.” She smiled at him, but turned her attention toward the TV as her stomach jumped in apprehension. Could she really broach the subject of the future with him? But how could she not?

“I think you’re trying to psych me out,” Jake commented, then he too, focused on the TV as Alex Trebek read the final question.

“What Major League baseball player holds the career record for stealing home plate?”

Jake laughed and scribbled in the notebook, then handed Carolina the pen. “Easy.”

“Hmm.” She frowned, pretending to think for a moment, shielding her paper as she wrote. She glanced up at his amused expression. “I hope you guessed right.”

“Guess? Honey, I don’t need to guess about baseball trivia.”

Carolina didn’t try to stop the smile that crept over her face. “Good. After the commercial, we’ll see what’s what.”

He chuckled again as they sat through a bunch of ads. Then upbeat, hopeful sounding music began to play and Marie Fulton’s smiling face filled the screen. Carolina gasped. “Mom!” She sat up straight. “Oh, this is the commercial for Family First.”

“The public service initiative?”

“Yeah,” Carolina answered. “She’s really passionate about it and . . . hang on, I want to listen.”

“When was the last time you called your mother?”
Marie gave a nice First Lady smile and Carolina smiled back at the TV.

“When was the last time you called your grandparents? Or your son?”
Marie continued.
“Family is important and the bedrock of America. The closer we are, the more we thrive. It’s simple to encourage one another, and I encourage you to take a few minutes each hectic day to connect, or reconnect with your loved ones. Family First.”

She smiled again as the camera faded to a still shot of the President sitting on a sofa, his feet propped up. Marie sat beside him, her head on his shoulder. Carolina, Virginia, and Georgia stood behind the sofa. Everyone was laughing.

“That’s a great photo,” Jake murmured.

A shiver of pleasure ran through Carolina’s body. She’d taken it. Of course, it would get skewered by the talking heads. Some of them would call it staged—which of course it was; she’d been hiding the camera remote in her hand—but the emotion was genuine. The connection was real. Oh, God . . . she wanted Jake to be a part of that. He’d barely spoken about his parents, but she knew he didn’t have the warmth and closeness she had with hers.

“Jake . . .”

“Final Jeopardy,” he said quickly. “You ready?”

“Sure.”

The question was read again and all three contestants chose Jackie Robinson as their answer. Jake laughed and flipped around the notebook. He’d written Ricky Henderson. “Suckers. What did you put?”

Grimacing, Carolina showed him her paper. “Ty Cobb.”

“Ohhh,” he groaned. “That’s too bad, Carolina.”

She smiled and pointed at the TV, where Alex was shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, folks, but the correct answer is Ty Cobb.”

“What?” Jake shot off the sofa, tumbling Carolina’s legs to the side. “Bullshit.”

She began to giggle.

“How did you know that?” he asked.

“My dad loves trivia. Sports, mostly. Especially baseball. He had this deck of flashcards when I was a kid and he made us play along.”

Jake groaned and started for the kitchen, but turned around. “I didn’t know he was a baseball fan.”

“Yeah. You could probably have some pretty great conversations with him.” She glanced up, smiling, but Jake’s expression was inscrutable. After a moment, he walked to the refrigerator and pulled open the door.

She closed her eyes briefly. Did he think she was fishing for him to make some kind of commitment? She hadn’t been. Not consciously. All she wanted was to talk to him about the future . . . and he had lost the bet.

“Jake?”

“Yeah?” He came back holding a bottle of water and settled next to her. “You want to gloat? Go ahead.” He winked.

“No, I’m not going to gloat. But I am going to hold you to that chat.”

He took a drink of the water and deposited it on the coffee table. “Okay.”

“It’s kind of still about baseball, actually.” She gave him a smile and continued quickly. “I was wondering if you’d given Regina’s little interrogation any thought. About your future.”

“No.” He reached for her hand. “If I wasn’t an agent, I wouldn’t get to see you every day,” he said lightly. “That wouldn’t work for me.”

“I see how it could work.” Pausing, she waited until he met her gaze. “We
both
make major changes in our lives.”

“Like what?” He sounded skeptical, but there was hope threading through his voice. It gave her courage.

“Like you quit your job.” She swallowed. “And I quit school.”

He let go of her hand and folded his arms. “Carolina . . .”

“At least think about it. I’m not trying to grab onto you like some kind of leech, Jake. I’m not planning our wedding or naming our kids. I’m just being honest about the way I feel, and part of that is . . . wanting to make my life better. Happier. I feel that happiness beginning with you, and I think you feel the same way. We ought to encourage each other, if nothing else. Correct me if I’m wrong.”

He looked at her for a few seconds and then slowly unfolded his arms, but he didn’t correct her. He also didn’t acknowledge most of what she’d said. Instead, he raised his eyebrows. “Are you really going to quit school?”

“I am.” She lifted her chin and stared at him.

He didn’t comment. Dropping his gaze, he got up and walked away from her, toward the bedroom.

Her heart sank.

Chapter Ten

T
HEY SAID A
watched pot never boils, but Jake had never put much stock in old sayings. The saucepan he was standing over had come to a boil in about three minutes, and he had been watching it the entire time.

As he stared down into the bubbling water, he realized that his need for Carolina had surfaced the same way—coming to a rapid boil a few days ago at the moment he realized that he was going to be alone with her for days. They’d been at the cabin a full week, though it seemed much longer than that. Now, counting today, there were only two full days left before Courtney showed up.

One weekend. Two days. Forty-eight hours. He would calculate the minutes, but he was too distracted to do the math. All he knew was that no matter how he counted it, it would be the same. Time didn’t change, but Jake suspected with a sinking feeling that he would never be the same.