I quickly caught my breath and stumbled off the couch, landing on the soft carpet. I scrambled to get back to my feet as quickly and quietly as possible. I had never slept next to a man before and I didn’t want Jace to know that I had let my guard down with him. I had to learn to be more careful with Jace. I just couldn’t seem to think straight around him.
I very carefully made my way down the hallway and to my bedroom, closing myself inside. I stared blankly down at my lonely bed before throwing myself down and pressing my
hands to my head.
I quickly pulled the blanket back, crawling under the soft fleece of the blanket. It had always been my safety zone and at the moment I needed safety from myself. I rested my head against the wall behind me, mind spinning, as I twirled my
fingers in my messy hair trying to make sense of my own emotions.
A few moments later, I heard footsteps creeping down the hall and then the sound of Jace's door as he softly shut it behind him. How embarrassing, I had probably woken him up by falling out of his arms. I had a feeling that it was going to be tough to face him in the morning. That was if I could even manage to fall back to sleep.
I tossed and turned for what felt like hours before giving up on sleep. I sat up, arms stretched, as I looked around my new room. Everything from the glass table, black trunk, and pictures on the wall were an unfamiliar feeling that made me wish that I had my own home.
Finally, I hopped out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. The door was wide open so without a second thought I stepped inside, flipping on the light behind me.
"Oh shit!" I screamed surprised by the sight in front of me.
Jace stood there in only his underwear while brushing his teeth. He peered over his taut shoulder and grinned with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. He looked just as cool and calm as ever. “Good morning.”
I felt my eyes wander down to his low hanging boxers that were so low on his waist that even I felt embarrassed. I threw my hands over my eyes and forced myself not to peek. "I'm sorry," I stammered. "I didn't know you were in here." I turned back to the door and started walking away humiliated.
He pulled his toothbrush from out of his mouth and spit in the sink. "It's fine." He walked up next to me, pulling his boxers up. "I'm done now. The bathroom is all yours.” He walked out of the bathroom shutting the door behind him.
I stood there shocked and motionless for a moment. I really wished that he would learn to wear clothes more often. I didn't know how much more of his body I could handle. I just needed to erase it from my mind.
I grunted to myself and hopped in the shower.
After taking a quick shower and getting dressed. I stepped into the living room to see Jace throwing on a black leather jacket. He smiled sweetly upon noticing me watching him. "You look nice," he said. "Hey, I'm going to be gone for a few hours. I
might bring some company by later so feel free to have anyone over that you please. You’re always welcome."
I gave him a long stare before walking over to the loveseat and plopping down roughly. I suddenly flinched when remembering what happened there last night. “Okay. Have fun,” I mumbled. I jumped up from the couch and gave Jace a reassuring smile.
Jace gave me a quick look before he headed out the door. I couldn't help but to notice how his eyes lingered down to the loveseat right before he shut the door behind him. I was sure that it was nothing, probably just an eye twitch or something.
I leaned against the leather couch and took a long deep breath. I had a lot of energy and nothing to do for the day. Caleb of course was always an option. He never seemed to be working and in fact I had no idea where or if he even worked. I hadn’t spoken to him for almost two days and I was sure that my phone would probably have at least a few missed calls from him by now.
I paced around the living room for a few minutes before heading to my bedroom and pulling my phone from out of my purse. I dialed Caleb’s number and surprisingly got an answer on the first ring.
I could hear his light breathing in the phone moments before he even responded. "Look who is still alive," he said playfully. "I've been calling you for two days now." He was trying to play it off, but I knew that he was annoyed. He always was when he didn't hear from me for a few days.
I huffed into the phone and rolled my eyes not really wanting to get into it. "Just come over," I blurted before I could manage to change my mind. “I need to keep busy.”
His heavy breathing filled the phone line as I waited for his response. “Fine,” he breathed. “I’ll be there in ten minutes. I just need to make a quick pit sto
p first.
"Wait," I shouted before he could hang up. He was eager to get to me and rushing to get off the phone. "I don't live on Remington anymore."
He was silent before he let out a small laugh, clearly confused. "What exactly do you mean? Is everything alright?" he questioned.
"I couldn't afford to pay rent. I had to move," I replied quickly.
He grunted into the phone. "I sent out that money order like you asked. They had to of gotten it by now," he said, sounding slightly annoyed.
I let out a deep breath not caring to explain. "I was already behind from last month though. It’s a long story. Just never mind." I paused. "I met some guy and he offered to let me rent out his spare room."
I heard him growl into the phone. That wasn't unusual for him. "Tell me where you stay at and you can tell me more when I get there."
"1533 Lighthouse Road. It’s a white house with a blue door. It should be easy to find."
I hurriedly hung up the phone before he could say anything else. I was a big girl and I didn't need to explain anything to him. I tossed my phone aside and wandered back to my bedroom in search of my black jacket. It was almost the middle of September and already, I could feel the change in the weather. I didn’t mind it though. It was an excuse to keep bundled up and hidden from the outside world. It was what I did best.
I stepped outside taking a seat on the front porch. I leaned my head back, eyes closed, as the light wind blew through my hair and softly kissed my face. It reminded me of older times. Ones that I didn't want to remember. I wanted to be able to feel the cool wind and think of something better. I needed new memories, ones to be proud of.
The sound of screeching tires startled me from my thoughts. I looked up to see Caleb’s red car pull into the driveway and jerk to a halt. His face looked stiff through the windshield, and I could tell that he was trying to calm himself down.
He sat behind the wheel for a few seconds before jumping out and walking over to me. He stared down at his feet while chewing on his bottom lip. Then suddenly he looked up with a look of torment in his desperate eyes. "I would've helped you if you asked. You've always known that, Avery." He let out a breath of frustration and tugged on his blond hair. "What are you so afraid of with me?"
I placed my hands in my jacket pockets and looked out into the street. It was quiet and peaceful. How I wished my life could be. "I didn't expect for this to happen. Besides, I could never live with you, Caleb," I replied.
“You know this.”
He looked down into my eyes before taking a seat next to me on the wooden step. "This guy." He paused for a heart beating second. "Are you sleeping with him? I find it a little fucked up that you won't even spend more than a few hours at a time with me, but yet you moved in with a complete stranger," he huffed. “Tell me.”
I looked over at him with my nose scrunched in annoyance. He had no right to ask me that question. I didn't belong to him and I didn’t have to answer to him. "No, if you must know." I stood up and walked into the house with him following closely at my heels. "That's exactly why I can live here with him," I breathed. "He doesn't want from me what I can't give." I looked behind me, staring him straight in the eye. "You do.”
He sat down on the couch and placed his head in his hands. "I care about you, Avery. I understand that you don't want anything more, but I was hoping one day that you would eventually let me in."
If only he could've understood just how impossible that was. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. Truthfully, I didn't want to. He had already been trying for over ten months. I felt nothing.
I decided it was time for a change of subject before I changed my mind about hanging out with Caleb. "Hey lets go get some lunch," I stammered, trying to figure out if it were a good idea to take him to
The Indy Go
or not. "I'm starving."
He looked up a bit surprised with a small smile on his face. We usually never went out in public. It was one of my rules. It was just easier that way but this time things were different. I needed to get things off my mind and keep busy.
“Where do you want to go?” he asked, while standing up and fixing his black flannel shirt. He still didn’t look very happy.
I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. I forgot to mention the fact that I no longer had to work at the club anymore. That should make him happy. "Oh yeah, I have a new job.” I grinned and walked toward the
door. “Have you ever heard of
The Indy Go
?”
A small smile crept over his baby face. "The little diner by your old place," he said joyfully. "Yes. I’ve been there. You went and applied there?"
"My new landlord owns it," I said smoothly, hoping not to upset him more. "Let’s grab some food."
The look on his face was not what I expected. He looked almost angry, as if he wanted to choke someone. He shook his head and bit his bottom lip. "The guy that you live with," he questioned. "That's weird. He let you move in and gave you a job. Isn't he some kind of hero," he mumbled.
I silently followed Caleb outside and to his car. He slammed his door behind him and looked down at his phone while shifting the car into drive. “Looks like I have to make another quick pit stop. It will only take a few minutes.”
I nodded my head and turned to face the window. It didn’t really bother me, but he always seemed to have to make pit stops. A part of me wondered why, but at the same time, I didn’t want to know too much about him. It was my way of keeping a distance. “Sure,” I mumbled.
He parked his car into the driveway of a small white house with peeling paint and beaten up windows about five minutes away from Jace’s house. It looked just about as bad as my place on Remington had. I sat back and played with the seatbelt while Caleb quickly ran inside.
I looked up when Caleb suddenly appeared back in the car. “See, I told you that it would be quick.” He strapped on his seatbelt and looked over at me with a smile, looking happier than he had before entering the house. “Now let’s go and eat.”
I looked at him wide eyed. “Someone is suddenly in a good mood.”
He pulled his car into the parking lot of the diner, parking it in the closest parking space. “I’m just happy to be out with you. I was worried for the last two days.”
I pursed my lips and reached to take the seatbelt off, before following Caleb out of the car and into the diner. “Okay. Sure," I replied.
We took a seat in the far back of the diner waiting for Stacy to greet us. To my surprise, an older woman that looked to be in her mid-fifties, walked over with a huge grin on her sweet face. “Hi there, folks. My name is Maple and I will be your server.” She grinned from ear to ear while eyeing us up and down, brown eyes sparkling with joy. “What can I get you two love birds this morning?”
My stomach twisted at her words. I let out a high-pitched laugh as I waved my arms at her. “Oh no. No, he’s not my boyfriend.”
Caleb looked up at me with a look to kill as he groaned. “I’m not very hungry. I’ll just take some scrambled eggs and some milk.” He forcefully pushed his menu across the table with a forced smile. “Thanks.”
“I will take-“
“Avery, is that you?” A scratchy voice called from near the kitchen. Winston poked his graying head around the corner and smiled. He looked happy to see me. “Dear, I see that you have met the new waitress.”
Maple leaned over into the booth and rubbed the top of my head. It was a soft, motherly touch, that made me feel welcome. "You’re such a beautiful young woman." She smiled. "I've heard a lot about you."
I gave her a small smile and nodded my head. It had to of been from Winston and his big mouth. "I'm guessing from, Winston?" I asked.
Her face lit up and she nodded her head. "No. From Jace," she replied. She paused for a moment, looking over at Caleb with curious eyes, before quickly turning her gaze back to me. "What would you like to eat, dear? You always eat free here. That’s the boss's orders."
I shifted in my seat feeling a bit uncomfortable. Jace already provided me with everything that I had and now, free food at the diner. It was unnecessary kindness. I stared down at the table and took a deep breath. "I'll just take the breakfast steak and eggs please."
"Coming right up, dear." Her white curls bounced as she wiped her hands over the front of her yellow dress and then clapped them. "You heard that, Winston. Get to work." She smiled so big that I thought her face would rip. “It’s so good to finally meet you.”