walker saga 07 - earth (38 page)

“What happened after …?” I trailed off.

Emotions were choking me, so many mixed feelings. I had lost so much, but not everything. Brace and Lucy were the two people who meant more to me than any others in the worlds. It was like I was seeing everything for the first time. With a crystal-clear clarity that had me breathless.

“How did I get back here?”

Lucy’s face was ravaged, red and swollen. I could see claw marks on her cheeks and knew her grief had been intense and all encompassing. She reached out and clasped my hand, then just sat there holding it. She didn’t speak or move. I sensed that she couldn’t, and I had literally never seen her quiet like this.

“We thought you were gone,” Colton finally said. “Lucy couldn’t feel you any longer. She’s your guide and the bond you share is tangible. On her side at least, but you were no longer there.”

I met her unblinking blue-and-yellow eyes. “You can feel me? Why have you never told me?”

She shook her head, opened her mouth before slamming it shut again. She tried again to speak, and finally words emerged in a hoarse sentence. “I never realized what it was until you were gone. I didn’t know that you were that warm spot beside my heart, the spot which I cherished more than any other. Then it was gone.” She squeezed tighter. “I died with you, Abby.”

Her arms went around me and there was no space between us any longer. I held her as she sobbed, my eyes hot and damp, but I wouldn’t let myself fall apart. If I did, I’d never pull myself back together.

I met Brace’s black eyes. Lucy wasn’t the only one who had died with me that day; my mate had also.

“You thought I was … I died?” I asked him softly.

His features shuttered again, and that sheen was back in his eyes.

“You did, Red, you died in my arms. In the end I shot my energy into you, hoping it might save you.”

“You did save me,” I said, knowing that it was Brace’s energy that had kept me alive long enough to allow the Mother of All to capture my essence. He had infused strength into my soul.

“The … others?” I couldn’t bring myself to say their names. It hurt just thinking about what had happened in the cave.

Lucy sobbed harder then. Colton’s rumbly growls grew louder and his face crumbled around the edges. He seemed to be in physical pain watching his mate fall apart. Brace reached out both hands and cupped my face gently, his thumbs rubbing down my cheek bones. So softly. With such tender care.

“Lalli and Josian are there, but it doesn’t look good … I’m so sorry, baby.”

I was crushed, sagging forward.

Brace caught Lucy and me, his hands falling from my face to cradle us both.

It couldn’t be true.

Why would the Mother save me, but allow the rest to fall? They had done as much as I had, sacrificed as much. It wasn’t fair.

I felt more warmth around me, and as a familiar lick went up my face I knew my hellhound was here. That he had mourned this loss too.

“I need to see them,” I murmured against Brace’s chest.

Poor Lucy was squished between us.

I hoped we weren’t suffocating her. “I have to say goodbye.”

I knew it was going to hurt, but they deserved this from me. And I needed the closure. I could still feel their energy, feel their souls. It didn’t seem real that they were gone, so I had to see it with my own eyes.

“Where are they?’’

Brace pulled back, and Lucy let go of me. She seemed tinier somehow as she sank in on herself, both arms wrapped tightly across her middle. Colton couldn’t hold back any longer. He reached out and snatched her up into his arms, his massive form engulfing the tiny pixie as he cuddled her closer.

Brace’s hands found my face again. It was as if he couldn’t stop touching me, examining my features. “Are you sure you want to do this? Because you don’t have to.”             

His eyes bored into mine then they began scanning my face. The look in his eye was one of disbelief. The bond was telling me that he’d truly believed he would never again see the flash of green in my eyes, or kiss my lips. He had lived with that knowledge for a short time, but it was long enough to crack his heart into pieces.

Right then he was thanking every god he had ever known or heard of that I had returned. He was so busy being thankful he hadn’t stopped to look into my memories. To know that the gods had blessed us. But then he did …

The Mother of All saved you?

There was awe in his voice, but it wasn’t focused on the Mother. Nope. It was all for me. Brace knew I wasn’t perfect, but he still considered me to be above all others, and he was quite pleased to know that the gods valued my life also.

“I need to see them,” I said out loud. “I will say a proper goodbye.”

Brace didn’t remind me that they were gone, that there would be nothing left but shells that would eventually fade away. He supported my need and would make sure it happened.

“Josian and Lallie are with them in the ballroom. Your parents haven’t given up. They’re trying to revive the girls the same way we did you.” Brace got to his feet, and scooped me off the bed, before setting me down with tender care.              

A burst of love flooded the darkness in my mind; my parents never gave up. Cerberus moved to my side then. I reached out and rested my hands on him.

“They literally left your side only moments before you woke,” Lucy said, sounding less distraught. “Brace begged them to try and help the girls. He said that you would want them to make sure there was no way that had been missed to save them.”

The welling of tears which I had been holding at bay surged forward again, and I threw myself at my mate.

“Thank you. Thank you.”

I murmured the words over and over. I had never believed I would have someone like Brace in my life. Someone who did everything in his power to ensure my happiness. I was blessed in so many ways. And yet, my heart still ached.

“Lallielle’s trying to reach them through dreamscape. She can go deeper into one’s subconscious. Josian is providing backup power,” Brace said. “I had to push them pretty hard to get them to leave. It wasn’t until they knew for sure you were coming back to us that they went to help the others. I think they expected you would sleep longer.”

I halted his explanation. I knew my parents loved me more than anything. They would not have easily left my side when I was hurt.

“Let’s go to the girls.”

I pushed down the remaining flickers of hope. I knew my girls were gone; I’d felt it. Josian and Lallielle wouldn’t find them hiding deep in their subconscious. And yet, I still couldn’t stop myself from literally running toward the ballroom.

I sensed the mood long before we made it into the large, ornately clad room. Stepping onto the top of the long staircase, my eyes were immediately drawn to the angels that decorated the ceiling. It was oddly appropriate considering the room was being used as a sort of open-air tomb.

Reality was, I couldn’t bring myself to look down upon the scene I knew waited below. There was a heaviness in the air, a sense of mourning and pain. I could feel the emotional resonance of everyone who waited there. All of us had lost someone. For some it was their mate. For me it was my sisters.

Sucking in what I hoped was a fortifying breath, I took the first step and started to descend. Gods, it was a lifetime ago that I had walked through those doors on the eve of my eighteenth birthday. Almost killing myself in those ridiculous heels. A lifetime ago that I didn’t know the true joy of Brace. Or my half-Walkers. I didn’t know of the pain and fear and craziness that the next year fighting the Seventine would bring. My world had done a complete three-sixty, and even though we had won – we had beaten them – the cost was just too high.

When Brace, Lucy, Colton, Cerberus and I had almost reached level ground, my eyes finally fell on the scene. My heart stuttered in my chest, its beats all over the place. Breathing was suddenly so much harder to do.

Everyone gathered around the seven bodies which were laid out in an arrangement, raised up on padded white tables. The closest one I could see was Francesca. Her whiteness both contrasted and blended with the marble floor. Standing at her side was Lallielle, head bowed, lips moving. I knew my mother was spiritual. She prayed to the gods. And she loved her sister.

At the foot of each girl lay her sacred guide. They mourned with the rest. Their cries were low, but I heard and felt every single one.

Brace wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into his warmth, helping me regulate my breathing by matching our bodies together. Lucy and Colton were on the other side of me, and my best friend was still sobbing.

“I haven’t stopped crying since the dark mountain,” she whispered, as if she’d heard my thought. “Standing on the outside, watching the girls fall one by one. Hearing as you begged for them to stay. As you fought for them. Knowing that in the end you would probably … die.” She sucked in deeply, as if just saying those words killed her.

I hadn’t even realized that I’d spoken out loud during those last moments with the half-Walkers. But I must have.

“If I never live through something like that again. It will be too soon.” Lucy finished.

I reached out and hugged her one-armed. “I’m so sorry. It sucked. It really freaking sucked, and I would do anything to change what happened.”

She had no idea how much I wished I could erase our loss. I’d give anything.
Dammit.
It wasn’t fair.

I was just about to step out onto the marble floor when a tall male emerged from beside the staircase. His blond hair was disheveled, his face drawn. A cord of something flickered in my stomach, the connection between us flaring.

I couldn’t stop myself from crossing the two steps to meet him. I hesitated briefly, examining Lucas. He looked the same: perfectly chiseled and coldly handsome features. It was as if the gods had precisely carved him to fit a stereotype of the ruling Emperor that he was, but they’d lacked a touch of the warmth I found in Brace’s beauty.

He stepped closer, and before I could react his arms closed around me. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

The weird mini-bond between us was really humming now. Lucas and I were the chosen rulers of First World and would always have a connection. Something I wasn’t particularly comfortable with, but it was there nonetheless.

I could feel Brace’s gaze on us, and as I shifted my head I found that his hard eyes were locked on Lucas’ face. His jaw was rigid, but so far he hadn’t punched the Emperor in the jaw. So we were doing okay.

I pulled back. “I’m sorry about Ria,” I said to him. My voice cracked. Clearing my throat, I tried again. “I just can’t … I should have been able to do something. I should have saved them.”

Lucas reached out, grasping my biceps, bringing me closer to his downturned face. “We saw what happened, Abby, you did everything you could. You almost died. Ria would have been so proud of you.” The iciness was back in his blue eyes, and I knew he was trying to compartmentalize his pain. “I just wish I’d had time to make things right with her. I chose duty again, and again. And Ria paid the price. It’s too late now, but if I had the choice again, I would not take the same path.”

Lucas was not the same male that I’d first met in this very ballroom. Sure, he was still arrogant and annoying, but his emotional growth was incredible. Everything had changed for him on that day when he’d finally understood that he could have both Ria and me in his life. Both of us had a role, and for a little while there he’d been happy. There wasn’t much happy now, though.

We lingered together for just a few more moments, before I moved back to Brace, Lucy and Colton. Lucas followed and the five of us crossed the space to our fallen loved one.

Lallielle and Josian noticed me at the same time. My mother dashed from where she’d been beside Francesca, and my father – who’d been at the other end of the room beside one of the girls – zoomed across as well. Brace let me go at the last moment, allowing my parents to encase me in their arms.

“You’re grounded for life, Aribella.” Lallielle was holding me so tightly I was worried I might burst. “Forever. You’ll stay here with me, and not leave my side until I recover from almost losing you again.”

I let her hug me hard. I squeezed her back even harder. I had no words. There was too much emotion swirling inside me, but this hug was perfect. The three of us stood there for a long time. Josian still hadn’t said anything. When finally we pulled apart, I tilted my head back to meet those autumn-leaf eyes.

“Dad … are the others …?” I let my words trail off.

He shook his head. “I’ve tried everything I could think of. For some reason their shells remain stable, but there’s no spark of essence inside.”

I couldn’t stop the whimper which escaped me. I had known it, but hearing the words was almost like losing them all over again.

Josian hung his head then. A sense of hopelessness washed over him. “I’m not worthy, baby girl. You had to take on so many extra burdens because of me. I almost lost you because of my weakness. I’m a broken man.”

I shook back my curls, which I’m sure could really use a brush – and some shampoo. Showering had not been high on my list of priorities lately. I was quite gross actually, something which would have been important last week, but today was nothing.

I reached forward and gripped the tightly woven, silky shirt Josian wore. My hands constricted into fists as I pulled him closer into me.

“Don’t blame yourself, and don’t ever say you’re not worthy. You fought with everything. You sacrificed so much. No more pity party.” I was fierce. “We’re alive and won’t sully the memory of those who didn’t make it with regret. We move forward and we celebrate the freedom of all the worlds.”

It was a long speech. Badly worded. But I meant it.

Josian’s god-like features hardened further. His eyes turned even more golden as his emotions took over.

Then finally he nodded. “You’re right, and it’s time to say goodbye to our brave soldiers. They’ll be released with the dawn. Now is the moment for final blessings.”

All of the fight whooshed out of me again. I shook my head a few times, in a reasonably frantic manner.