Authors: Emma Raveling
What was I thinking?
Dealing with the aftermath of the Governor's Ball had tied up my time and kept me away from her.
It had worked. At least for a few days.
Until I entered the Training Center tonight and my stomach clenched at the sight of her exhausted, pale face. Her body looked like it was about to give out.
She always pushed those limits. Even with herself.
I took another long swallow, welcoming the burn. Melodic cadences soared on a wild note of yearning.
War's nature was to devour. Elementals had relentlessly demanded and taken from the
sondaleur
.
It was why I'd gone into that mat room. To find out what she needed. Some part of me wanting again to give her what no one else did.
Instead, she'd given me something I didn't know I craved.
A sudden wave of self-disgust surged. I slammed the crystal tumbler down on the nightstand. A crack appeared, amber liquid weeping on to the dark mahogany.
How long had it been since someone wrapped their arms around me like that?
I'm sorry.
Those words, her voice, strong enough to carry the weight for both of us.
I should've pushed her away. Shouldn't have greedily taken in the uninhibited trust, that glimpse of calm acceptance she offered.
A sharp knock came at the door and I yanked it open harder than usual.
"I was on my way to Lumiere when I heard music." Augustin tilted his head. "Didn't know you were staying here tonight. Fifth suite?"
I nodded and ran a hand through my hair. Good. Work was a perfect distraction.
"What is it?"
"Thought you might want to know Nexa's back."
I'd assumed as much since Julian had walked in on us. I tried not to think of what might have happened if he'd come in a few seconds later.
"I'll go talk to her."
"It can wait —"
"I should take care of it now."
I shut off the music and grabbed my keys.
"How's the investigation going?" Canny eyes observed me closely.
"Nothing much yet," I said easily. "Maybe Nexa has something new."
But as I drove to the Academy campus, my uneasiness over the state of the investigation returned.
So many questions without answers. How did the Aquidae know Haverleau's layout? How did so many of them work together in a coordinated attack? How did they know about the Warden Pair?
We needed more information fast. Because I was almost positive there was a traitor. And whoever it was wouldn't wait long to strike again.
I parked and walked toward Nexa's cottage. A breeze brought the earthy fragrance of the woods at night. Light shone through the Training Center's windows, casting shadows against its stark, concrete lines.
I wondered if she was still in there.
With Julian.
Sharp resentment flooded my veins and I forced myself to turn away from the building. Maybe coming back to the Academy wasn't such a great idea.
Nexa's door opened before I could knock and she pushed me aside with a strength that belied her age.
"Come." Her tiny figure headed for the bluff. "I need to feel the air."
I followed her to the edge of the rocky cliff and breathed in the familiar salty tang. Nexa closed her eyes, lifting her face up as if she felt the inky night pressing against her skin.
The faint pulse of magic brushed against me. "You're unsettled."
Empaths were the most unnerving people to be around.
"It's rolling off you." She nodded at the ocean. "Like the waters."
Darkened sea churned with power, the dull rumble of restless waves echoing an insistent rhythm that matched the pressure coiling in my chest.
"It's been a difficult week," I said politely.
"Yes." She paused. "The terror is growing."
"Did you find anything?"
"Not in Lyondale," she said. "All the cells have pulled in tight. No Aquidae anywhere in the city. But I located two in Fayette."
A town about four hours southeast. "Did he get anything?"
"Only rumors about a girl involved in Lyondale activity."
"A child?"
She nodded. "Around seven years old. And that she was somehow near the top."
A little girl heading the Aquidae? One strong enough to carry off the attack on Haverleau? Highly unlikely.
She pulled out a cigarette. "My great-grandson believes she could be a front for the real Aquidae lieutenant."
It was a solid theory to consider, especially since Julian was an excellent investigator. His Virtue gave him an almost unparalleled advantage out in the field.
Irritation beat against me, growling for release. "I expected you later."
She lit her cigarette and inhaled. "We came back for Kendra."
I startled. "What?"
"I have a lesson with her tomorrow." She took another long drag and exhaled. "And Julian wished to see her."
I kept my response calm. "I see."
Silver strands of hair whipped around her weathered face. "My session with her will be difficult. Will you keep an eye on her?"
The question turned the agitated resentment into a full-bodied roar.
Obligations of duty had long provided the discipline necessary to put aside my own needs for that of my kingdom.
But I'd recently begun to wonder if I could be more than the Warrior Prince.
If there was a way to be Tristan again.
It was an impossibility, of course. And the only reason I'd momentarily forgotten that was because of what I'd felt in her arms earlier tonight.
I was losing my mind. "Of course."
"Look at me, dear." She was the only one who still spoke to me as if I were a child. "Only you can do this."
"Ansel was a friend and Naida entrusted me with her," I said, impatient. "Of course I'll —"
"The
sondaleur
is torn between responsibility to her people and her own individual desires. She's shut off from the world because she believes herself incapable of fully existing in it." Wrinkled fingers suddenly latched on to my arm. "She reminds me of you."
I stiffened. Her fingers held tight, but her voice gentled. "Your need to deny yourself. Her need to protect herself."
Kendra didn't trust others because she grew up learning about the lies hidden behind a smile. Her Virtue was both the greatest gift and the most horrific curse.
And I didn't trust myself. Not around her. Not when War could snatch people away as easily as Eric.
Leadership required distance. I had to be prepared to carry out the difficult acts no one else could.
"Part of me is broken." The words came out harsh. "She doesn't have to become like that."
Nexa let go of my arm and exhaled. Sinuous coils of smoke slowly dissipated into the air.
"Not broken," she finally said. "You're both warriors. Scars are part of what define you. They're proof of your strength."
"Perhaps we're asking too much of her."
She ignored the pointed remark. "You're a survivor. The Warrior Prince. You can provide the help she needs."
But did I have the control necessary to give it?
"The
sondaleur
may also have what you need," she murmured.
I remembered falling into dark green eyes, the solace found in the simple touch of an embrace.
And was left shaken at the realization that Nexa was right.
EIGHT
"Enough with the bullshit."
Eyes narrowed and she shoved her hand against my chest. "It's just so easy for you, isn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. The amazing Warrior Prince."
In that moment, there was nothing in the world I hated more than that name.
"Everyone worships you," she continued. "Thinks you're God's gift. And you stand there and have the nerve to tell me these things, when you don't know
anything
about me."
The frustration I'd barely kept at bay yesterday awoke. Every sacrifice, every denied need shivering, stretching under my skin.
"You make these comments, pretending that you actually care. But I know the truth."
That glimpse of darkened wild energy I'd seen in her at Club Axis returned. Pushing. Provoking.
"You're keeping your end of the promise you made to my mother and grandmother. You're doing your duty toward the
sondaleur
. Your damned honor won't let you do otherwise."
The words slammed into me. Agitation fired through my veins, a dangerous build-up demanding release.
She thought this was about honor? When I stood here, shaking from the amount of control it took to leash in my desires, vibrating from the stunning realization that this had stopped being professional long ago?
"I'm your job. Just some fucking job you're responsible for as gardinel."
The air thickened. Energy swirled in answer to her, rising in a burning cloud.
"So come off your high horse and quit acting like you give a crap."
She pushed my chest harder. "You don't need to —"
Her wrist felt fragile in my hand, the exquisite sensation of silken skin against my calloused fingers almost enough to snap the last thread of restraint.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
Relentless eyes shone with fury and challenge. "Why? Because you're keeping something else from me?"
Like the night we first met, the intent in those dark green pools was clear before the movement happened.
Her foot struck my thigh, sending a slight vibration up and down my leg.
Not bad. But it must've hurt.
Left fist flew forward. I stopped it before she could injure herself further.
"Let…go!"
I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me.
"Kendra."
She was going to hurt herself. Body tautened, trying to ignore the overwhelming stimulation of being this close to her.
"Stop this —"
She lifted her left foot. Damn it.
I hooked her ankle and held her close so my arms took the impact of our fall. Tilting my hips, I used my weight to keep her down on the wet sand. Hands pinned her wrists above her head where they couldn't do any damage.
Fierce anger and something darker combined to battle itself out on her beautiful face. It was that edge again. The need to question, to test the boundaries between us.
It was the very essence that convinced me she was the
sondaleur
. She'd come to Haverleau with the force of a tidal wave, breaking through unyielding granite crags.
Breathing quickened, senses screaming with awareness. Rough, wet sand rubbed against exposed skin. Waves pushed against us in a rhythm as unceasing as time.
Sleek curves fit snug beneath me, feminine softness pressing against every hardened inch. The rapid rise and fall of her chest matched the throbbing pulse in my blood.
Unimaginably soft lips brushed against mine. I swallowed a groan at the excruciating pleasure.
"Don't."
I had to get up. Walk away.
But I couldn't fucking move.
"You don't know, either."
My jaw flexed. "Know what?"
"Who you really are." Her voice grew stronger. More demanding. "Are you a gardinel or a prince? You were forced to accept responsibility and duty for your kingdom. You never asked for it or wanted it. And sometimes…sometimes, you don't know what you need to do or if you can even do it. You want to break free. You want to stop feeling so alone."
My entire world tilted, sliding under me like shifting sand.
Had it been about making her walls fall? Or the other way around?
I'd long accepted aloneness as a part of my fate, a consequence I paid for my life.
Until recently. When I'd begun to imagine the possibility of a future.
Not for my people, or my kingdom, or for elementals.
A future for me.
I tried to regain footing with a reason I'd repeated so many times, I'd convinced myself it was truth.
"I've accepted my life. I know what I need to do."
"No, you don't."
And with that, she smashed through.
The control I prided myself on. The discipline reminding me I was alive. The self-denial and distance I needed to fulfill an unwanted inheritance.
All crumbled in an instant.
There was only her, awash in sea and sand, the maddening scent of jasmine and roses weaving around us and the devastating awareness in those glittering eyes.
I gave in.
Body lowered, sinking into her depths, ravenously seeking every sensation I craved. Mouth savored her hot, sweet taste. Fingers indulged in thick locks of silky hair. Palm traced lines and curves, memorizing the feel and shape of her thigh, hip, breast.
Drowning in the feel of her arching back, her fingers threading through my hair.
The soft moan that came from the back of her throat sent something powerful and undeniable ripping through me.
I wanted her to make that sound again. And again.
Everything was forgotten. Every intention of not crossing that line, of keeping distance before this became something it shouldn't.
All that remained was want. Need. Ache.
And…fear. That this would be the only moment I could ever have for myself.
A distant part of me registered how strange that was and I struggled to grasp the thought behind it.
Because… because…
Because she's an ondine.
I jerked, breath coming out in a rush.
Darkened eyes held my gaze. Pink lips were slightly swollen, cheeks flushed against creamy skin.
Reason sluggishly pushed its way through the fog of desire.
I wasn't the one who'd pay for this. I was the bastard who could cost her everything.
When was I going to understand? It was as it always had been.
The future of our world before my own.
She wasn't meant for me. She was meant for all elementals.
My mouth finally managed to work. "That was a mistake."
She flinched. "Sorry about that, Your Highness."
That title. This cursed life.
I swore and walked away from the dangerous fire that could consume us both.
NINE