Watery Graves (7 page)

Emmy bounced to her feet, and grabbed twenty from the cash tin. “Let’s just go give that lady this twenty. I don’t want her telling everyone I stole from her.”

“Emmy, she didn’t give you that much,” Sebastian shouted after her.

But Emmy disappeared into the crowd. Despite her search, Mrs Paltry had to have left the town square. Emmy was so aware of the stares and whispers that followed her. It was
as if they had all been watching.  As if they hadn’t they had their minds made up about who she was and what she was like, anyway.

*

The van shook and rattled up the rough dirt track. Emmy sat in the back, eyes closed. Her head pounded and her body felt like a rag doll.

“I’m going to leave you guys in charge more often. We’ve sold most of our stuff. That doesn’t happen much.”

She opened her eyes to see the smile on Sebastian’s face break out wider. “It was great, Dad. I’ll do it again.”

Emmy groaned inwardly. Sebastian seemed to be the new draw card for women. And there were girls their age buying things that they ordinarily wouldn’t be into. Emmy pressed her forehead to the cool window. It soothed her until the van lurched and her head bumped against the glass.

When they pulled up to the kitchen hut, Emmy fell out of the van. She left the door open, put one foot in front of the other and made it to the quiet of her bedroom cabin. She didn’t look back but knew that Kristian and Sebastian were watching her. But she didn’t care. She had nothing left. All she wanted was to shower away the town grime and climb into bed.

Chapter Twelve

Family time with Maya had become sacred. She rested a lot during the day. The only chores that were done were those that desperately needed it. Baking happened the day before market day. Maya joined in when she felt like it. Otherwise, she sat and watched from the cushy rocking chair Kristian brought into the kitchen for her. Being together was more important than anything. Most days she spent whole afternoons in bed though just to get through.

Cards kept Maya’s mind active and everyone else calm. She shared in Emmy’s hand but was watching each play carefully. Emmy pointed to a three of spades. Maya nodded, giving approval for her to throw it out as an unwanted card.

Sebastian picked up a card, grinned and showed Maya.

Maya’s eyes lit up. “That’s what you’ve been waiting for.”

He spread out three fives and dropped the last card on the pile.

Kristian, Ingrid and Emmy groaned.

“Start counting guys,” Sebastian gloated.

“I had the joker Sebastian,” Kristian whined.

“Take off 50 points, Dad. Fifty smackaroos.”

After they tallied their scores, Maya cleared her throat. “Let’s take a break,” she said, her voice raspy.

“Okay guys,” Kristian said, sliding off the bed. “Let’s give Maya a rest.”

Ingrid reached for Emmy’s hand and pulled her up.

“I haven’t finished the scoring,” Emmy protested.

Sebastian didn’t budge from the spot beside his mother. “Are you sure you want to quit Mum? I’m ahead by 73 points.”

“We’ll make sure we come back to the game later then,” Maya said, patting the bed. “Sit down for a moment, Em.” Maya looked up at Kristian and Ingrid, then indicated the end of the bed where they’d been for the card game. The two of them looked at each other but obeyed her silent instruction.

Emmy placed the notebook on the bedside table. “What’s wrong?” she asked, looking at Ingrid but getting nothing from her mother’s confused expression.

“Is this a discussion you want the kids here for?” Kristian asked.

“Of course,” Maya said, reaching out for Sebastian and Emmy’s hands.

Her hands were cold and bony. Emmy stroked her papery skin with a thumb.

“You don’t need to say anything Maya. We’re here for you,” Ingrid said.

Maya shook her head
. “I just want to talk about something. About the kids. I’ve been watching them. I think it’s time we let them hang out more in Mercy Falls, maybe without us.”

“I did that the other day,” Kristian said. “I left them working the markets while I delivered some wine.”

“But they were stuck together behind a stall with other people watching over them.”

“It’s not the time to talk about that,” Kristian said. “They want to be here with you.”

Emmy saw a look pass between Sebastian and Maya, a look that made her stomach surge. It meant they had been talking and planning.

“They’ve got everything they need here,” Ingrid added. “Look at them. Pink cheeks. Dimples in the right places.”

Emmy couldn’t help but glance in the mirror and stroke her cheek.

“I don’t think we’ve done the right thing by keeping the kids holed up here with us,” Maya said.

“But we’ve all decided on letting the kids work the Sunday markets. They’ve done that a few times now,” Kristian said. “It’s a great way for them to pitch in, too. Right now we need it.”

“It’s a good start but they need something more,” Maya argued.

“Emmy hates working the markets,” Sebastian said.

“See? Emmy hates it,” Ingrid said.

“She hates it because she can’t handle people,” Sebastian added.

“See? This is what I’m saying. She needs to know how,” Maya said.

Kristian and Ingrid stole one of those secret looks, and Emmy’s stomach surged again. Alliances were forming. The people she knew and loved were beginning to see things differently. The last thing she wanted was fights and disagreements. “You can leave me out of it. I’m happy here,” she said.

Ingrid reached forward and rubbed Emmy’s leg. “It’s okay, Em. If you don’t want to go out there, you don’t have to.”

Maya coughed, drawing Sebastian’s hand up to her chest, tapping it, and clearing her throat. “We can’t keep running away from everything.”

“I’ve never run away from anything,” Ingrid protested. “I’ve dealt with death many times before. I’m here because I choose to live in a peaceful place.”

“Ingrid, it’s a peaceful place to hide,” Kristian said.

Emmy felt her mother’s hand squeeze her leg. Kristian had changed sides, leaving Emmy and Ingrid to draw closer together with their argument.

“My brother died in a flood. My boyfriend drowned in the river in a car.  My father died in a fishing accident and my mother was in so much grief she drank herself stupid and drowned. I’ve lost four people to that river.” Ingrid jabbed her finger at the view of the river beyond the open window.

Emmy held her
breath. It was like her mother’s mantra. Emmy no longer listened to it and she could tell that the others felt the same. It was not going to be enough to win this argument anymore.

Ingrid swallowed, resting her chin on her chest, dark waves of hair falling over her face. Emmy broke away from Maya, edging down the bed to wrap her arms around her mother’s waist. She rested her head in her lap. It was a comfort to Emmy to feel her mother’s breath on her face and to have her hair stroked.

The room went quiet.

Maya was the only one who could find the words to break it. “Our home is peaceful. But over the years it’s become more of a place to hide out. I don’t think we should shut the world out any more.”

“Ingrid,” Kristian whispered, leaning on his elbow to look into her face. “The kids really can’t live here alone forever. We won’t be around to save them all the time. They don’t know anything about life outside this mountain. Emmy can barely function beyond the gate.”

“I have friends,” Emmy reminded him, feeling hurt. “Libby and her sisters. Mrs Bexley.”

“I didn’t mean it like it sounds, Em,” Kristian said. “I just mean you get real quiet out there when you meet people. Sebastian’s fourteen. You’re sixteen…”

“Just turned
sixteen,” Emmy corrected.

“You turned
sixteen a while ago, Em. And I’m nearly fifteen,” Sebastian added.

“…And Sebastian looks out for you, Em. If you ever go down to Mercy Falls on your own you’ll get walked over.”

“Exactly,” Maya supported him, shifting her foot to tap Ingrid’s knee. “They’ve been overprotected, Ingrid. We can’t just throw them out there when they’re eighteen. No responsibility. No understanding of society. What happens if the three of us are no longer there to look after them? Surely me being sick has made you think about that.”

Ingrid looked at her.

“The world can be cruel to kids who are different,” Kristian said. “We’ve left it too long and now we need to help them fit in.”

“I’m not saying that they have to go to school or live down in Mercy Falls. I just think they need to venture out more. Catch a movie. Read books that were published in the past ten years,” Maya said.

“Or newspapers maybe,” Sebastian added, exchanging a glance with Emmy. “Or maybe not. The news might be too graphic, I don’t know. Not a place to start.”

“Start slow. Let them see how other people live,” Maya finished.

“I can read a newspaper or a new book,” Emmy said. “I’d
love
to do that. I
can
do that. But don’t make me go down to town.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

She tried to silence him with a glare. It didn’t work.

“The news can be worse to look at than going down for a walk around town, Em.” He turned to Maya
. “The town kids swim at the river on weekends,” Sebastian said, his eyes bright with the incomplete suggestion.

Emmy looked at him, wondering who he’d spoken to and how he knew that. None of their parents picked it up, unless of course, Maya and Kristian already knew and this was an ambush.

“I want to do it Mum,” Sebastian said. “Hang out by the river. Get to make a few friends.”

“But you can have a friend in Libby, if you want it. I’ll share her with you,” Emmy argued, a rising sense of panic constricting her chest. Now, she was more than willing to share.

“I want to have a boy friend,” Sebastian said.

They all looked at him.

“Really?” Maya asked, her eyes brightening.

“I should have said boyfriend or girlfriend, sorry Seb,” Kristian said.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. A mate.”

“Oh, right.”

They all nodded.

“For a second there I thought you were taking a big step and deciding to be more of yourself,” Maya said.

“Mum.”

“Yes you’re right. We’re digressing.” She cleared her throat
. “I want you two kids to feel brave and try some new things from time to time. Life can be interesting if you aren’t so afraid of everything.”

Ingrid tried to speak.

Maya leant over, reaching for Ingrid’s hand. “Emmy can swim on her own now. She doesn’t need us anymore. She’s not going to drown. And she’s smart enough not to swim alone, drunk or in raging flood water. And she’s certainly not depressed. It’s time to let her go Ingrid.”

“I don’t think I, um, can…” Ingrid stammered.

Emmy couldn’t hold it in any longer. “People get raped.”

Sebastian threw up his hand
s. “See that’s why you shouldn’t read papers and you should get out and walk around town once in a while.”

“Bad things happen out in the world. I like it here.”

“What you read in the papers are the worst days in people’s regular everyday lives. Most of the time things go pretty smoothly.”

“My whole family drowned,” Ingrid said. “That’s pretty bad. Nothing smooth about that. Kind of freaky really.”

“I will be with her every second we are at the river bank,” Sebastian added.

“I’m not swimming,” said Emmy.

“See? She’s not swimming,” said Sebastian.

“I didn’t say I was going.”

“You just did.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did indirectly,” Kristian said, and grinned.

Ingrid and Maya were locked in silent communication. They could speak without speaking. Emmy wanted to pull her mother’s gaze away but it was too late.

“Maybe, it is time,” her mother said. “Let me think about it.”

*

Not far from the shore, Emmy stood knee deep in the river. For the first time, Kristian didn’t inspect it for her. He sat up with Ingrid and Maya, shaded by a pine tree. Sebastian was closer to the shore line. But she had the very real sense that she was on her own.

She knelt down, wetting her arms and face. This whole swimming thing was taking on a new purpose now that it looked like she might have to hang out by some stupid river bank.

“It’s getting shallow right the way across,” Kristian called. “I expect you could walk it soon.”

“I don’t like this,” Ingrid yelled. “We should stop.”

“No it’s clear, Ingrid,” Kristian said.

Sebastian handed Emmy a float.

“No. Do it on your own,” Maya managed to call. She was wrapped in a blanket and propped against Kristian. “Don’t be afraid.”

Kristian glanced at Ingrid, then down at Emmy. “What do you want to do?”

“It’s shallow most of the way,” Sebastian added.

“Let her go,” Ingrid called.

“You heard her,” Sebastian grinned. “You’re free to swim.”

Maya cupped her hands
. “If you get tired, float,” she called to Emmy. “Hold your breath. Puff out your chest. And float. Don’t be afraid.”

Ingrid nodded, her face stony and grey. “Fine. It’ll be okay.”

If Emmy thought too much about what her mother might be thinking, her nerves took her over. When it came time to swim, the urge to run was overpowering. Maya was usually beside her counter-arguing any fears. Instead she looked up at her, hoping for some calm reassurance. But death was on her mind every time she looked at Maya, now.

A life without fear seemed impossible. The fear of losing someone she loved was something she was waking up to every day. It was hard to shake it out of her mind. It sat there like thick, black tar sticking to every thought and experience. Sometimes, it was too much. She did the only thing she knew how to do, got back to the everyday comfort of tending the vegetable patch, herding goats, picking fruit and doing home school.

“Don’t dive Emmy,” Ingrid instructed. “Just push off.”

Emmy ducked under the water. The transparent image of her father’s smiling face beamed back encouragement. She dug her toes into the mud and pushed off. At times her fingers brushed rocky outcrops on the bottom. Hidden behind each rhythmic breath, she thought she could hear a small dog yapping. She didn’t bother looking for it anymore. She assumed it was a part of the swish of the water.  The ghosts of her grandparents, her young uncle and father swirled in the water below. In moments of mischief, they reached up and brushed her fingers as she stroked, sending a tingle through her body. They had lived before her. With their offer of protection, in them she placed her trust.