She wasn’t particularly inclined to refuse his kiss. It seemed sort of safe, like dancing.
From side to side, he rubbed his mouth against hers then slid his tongue across the seam of her lips then rubbed some more.
Delilah swallowed a
mmmmm
sound. He drew her bottom lip into his mouth and ran his tongue over her soft inner lip. Following his lead, she joined in the seductive rhythm of his caress, although he kept in control, the same way he had when they’d danced.
If she thought about it, it was the same way he’d lightly kept control when they’d made love.
He tilted her head for better access and explored her recesses more deeply. Her head felt light, her knees buttery, her skin hot and other various parts swollen and achy. His mouth moved in a way that reminded her of sex with him, provocative and consuming, making her want more.
When he finally pulled back, he inhaled with a ragged breath. She did the same, unable to look away from the deep, drugging intimacy in his dark eyes.
He inhaled again, his gaze still holding hers. He lifted one finger to her still-buzzing lips. “Have you even been courted?”
She shook her head, not sure what was happening between them, inside her.
“Maybe it’s time you were.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead and pulled back. “Good night.”
Unable to respond, she watched him as he walked out of the condo. Courted? How strange. Her heart felt all squishy and her stomach was jumpy. She felt like a little girl again, just jerked from her mother’s custody and living with her father. New home, new school, no friends. She was gawky, raw and vulnerable. Hopeful that someone would like her. Hopeful that someone would approve of her.
She’d been hoping that for years. That was why Cash had been so important to her. She closed her eyes and slid her fingers through her hair and tried to tell herself that she was an adult and she didn’t need anyone’s approval, especially Benjamin Huntington. But she couldn’t totally extinguish that little girl hope.
Robert still hadn’t made love to Lilly. She was ready to tear her hair out. Stifling the urge to tap her toe in impatience, Lilly bided her time during the dreadful rubber chicken dinner at the Kiwanis Club meeting. She’d figured out what she needed to do. She needed to thoroughly disrupt Robert. Subtlety wasn’t going to work.
As she sat in the large gathering room provided by the library, she toyed with her food. She hated to admit it, but she’d used Delilah as her guide. If Delilah had wanted to get a man’s attention, what would she do? How far would she go?
Further than Lilly would go, she suspected, fighting an anxiety attack. If the elderly man seated beside her knew what she had planned, he would keel over with a heart attack. That meant she needed to make sure that Robert was the only one who heard what she planned to say to him.
She downed a sip of iced tea and wished it was alcohol. Wondering if she should have brought a tranquilizer with her, she mentally slapped herself.
What would Delilah do?
she chanted to herself. Delilah would get a huge kick out of her secret. She would smile and laugh at herself.
Lilly needed to go to the ladies’ room.
She rose. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” Taking her courage in her hand, she bent slightly and cupped Robert’s ear. “I’m not wearing any panties.” She counted to three. “What are you going to do about it?”
Her face flaming, she quickly walked to the rest room before her bladder finished the job of embarrassing her to death. After using the bathroom, she washed her hands and fanned her face to bring down the color. She took a deep breath, reassuring herself that she wouldn’t have to deliver on her dare until after Robert had given his speech. She still had the last course of partially frozen Sara Lee cheesecake to bolster her nerves. She just hadn’t known that going pantyless would feel so, well, breezy.
Pulling open the door, she stepped outside and nearly walked straight into Robert.
“Whoa.” He caught her with his hands.
“Oops. Excuse me,” she said, feeling her throat tighten with embarrassment.
He drew her to the side of the hallway and cleared his throat. “I think I didn’t hear you correctly a few minutes ago.”
Lilly wanted to seep into a crack in the floor. She couldn’t say the words again, especially not in the bright light of the hallway, directly to his face. She swallowed over her dry throat. “I said excuse me.”
He shook his head. “No. You whispered something to me right after you got up from the table.”
“What did you hear me say?”
He paused, his gaze meeting hers. Then he chuckled. “I want to hear you say it.”
Do I have to
? She bit her lip. She glanced both ways and whispered, “I’m-not-wearing-panties-what-are-you-gonna-do-about-it?”
He cupped his ear and drew closer to her, his mouth twitching with telltale humor. “Excuse me. I think you said it too fast.”
At that point Lilly knew he was teasing her, pulling her leg, as her father used to say. She narrowed her eyes. “You know what I said. You know what I asked.”
He raised his eyebrows. “There’s nowhere to meet your challenge. We’re supposed to meet my parents at their house for a drink after the meeting.”
“We can be late,” she said defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest.
“But where?” he asked wearing a surprised, but intrigued expression that gave her hope.
“There’s a room that’s being renovated at the end of the back hall.”
“Here?” he asked, incredulous. He lowered his voice. “In a library?”
“Only if you’re up to it,” she said, packing her words full with double entendre. “We should get back to the meeting.” She skimmed her hand down his red power tie. “You can think it over during your speech. And for the record,” she said, as she cupped his ear again, “I’m on the pill.”
On Virginity: Take heart. The second time is usually better than the first.
—D
ELILAH’S
D
ICTUM
I
f her father knew what she was doing, he would roll over in his grave ten times. After she and Robert returned to the table, she asked herself the question again,
what would Delilah do?
When Robert walked up to the podium to speak, she moved her chair to the front, so that no one stood between her and Robert’s vision.
He glanced in her direction and she crossed her legs.
He paused an extra beat and continued to speak.
Oh, yes, the man was smooth. It would take quite a bit to ruffle him.
He looked again in her direction and she uncrossed her legs, discreetly, of course.
He paused again, this time clearing his throat.
He continued to speak and every time he turned his head in her direction, Lilly crossed or uncrossed her legs. By the end of his speech, she counted eight coughs and ten forehead touches, as if he were trying unsuccessfully to keep his head from turning in her direction.
She was amazed at how powerful she felt, and all she had to do was move her legs and wear no panties. Technically, she could have just
said
she wasn’t wearing panties.
Robert concluded his speech and everyone applauded. Standing, she waited for him to shake hands with the crowd of people who had rushed up to speak to him afterward. Several moments passed and her feeling of euphoria began to wane. By the time he finished glad-handing, she wondered if he would remember her dare and her pantyless state.
A few more moments passed and she wandered to the water fountain for a sip of water. Lowering her head, she took a long drink. Just as she was ready to lift up, she felt a hand over hers on the lever for the fountain.
“Better drink up,” Robert murmured. “I want you to give me a private tour of the library renovations.”
Lilly nearly strangled over her drink of water. She met his gaze and he looked more determined than she’d ever seen him. Her heart hammered with a combination of anticipation and trepidation. A quick slice of panic raced through. Omigod, could she do this?
She had to. She glanced behind him. Several people still milled around in the large meeting room, but no one appeared to be looking.
“Hurry,” she whispered, snagging his hand and urging him down the hall with her. She guided him around another turn and down an unlit hall to a door with a sign that read
DANGER: RENOVATING. NO ADMITTANCE ALLOWED
.
Lilly pulled out a key and opened the door.
Robert stared at her in amazement. “How did you get that key?”
“I asked for a tour of the library earlier today. After the librarian finished, I asked for a key to get a second look at the renovations.” She slid the key into her purse. “I’ll return it tomorrow.”
“You planned this,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Are you complaining?” she asked in what she prayed was a sultry voice as she stepped inside the darkened room where she would finally lose her virginity.
“Not at all,” he said, following her in and closing the door behind him. He reached to turn on the light and she covered his hand.
“There’s a frosted window on the door. A light will draw attention.”
“How do we see where we’re going?”
She took his hand. “It’s not that far. I set out a dropcloth this afternoon.”
He gave a low chuckle. “You surprise the hell out of me. I would have never guessed you could be so—”
“So what?” she asked, eager to know what he thought of her. Eager to know that he thought of her at all.
“So wild,” he said, pulling her against him. She could barely see his face, but his warmth and nearness felt so good, so comforting. “Who would have thought little Miss Lilly White could be so wild? Sweetheart, you don’t have to do this. We can wait if—”
She shook her head at the mere suggestion of waiting and wrapped her arms around him. “I’ve told you I don’t want to wait any longer, Robert. I feel like I’ve waited my entire life for you.”
He brushed his hand over her hair in a gesture that calmed her. “You’re so sweet. And so hot,” he said, lowering his voice. “You keep surprising me. So when are you going to prove to me that you didn’t wear any panties?” he asked, his voice low and sexy.
Her heart skipped in her chest. “You can find out now.”
He lowered his hand to her thigh and nuzzled her nose with his. He slid her skirt upward and she felt a cool draft of air. Suddenly his warm hand was on her bottom.
“Oh, Lilly, you feel good,” he said, and she was very glad that she had exfoliated her entire body this morning in the shower.
“You’ve got such a nice little ass,” he whispered and took her mouth in a french kiss.
She felt herself grow warm from the inside out. The indolent stroking of his hand on her bare skin made her feel sensual and a little bit bad. He lowered his other hand to her thigh and skimmed it up her thigh and across her femininity. The quick intimacy took her by surprise. She gasped.
“Mmmm. Your legs feel so silky and you taste so good. I wonder how you taste all over,” he said, taking her mouth in a deeper, more carnal kiss.
He slid his hand between her legs and softly stroked her. Lilly forced herself to relax and concentrate on the seductive touch of his fingers.
Their pants of breath mingled in the still air and he gave a low groan as he rubbed against her. She could feel his erection through his dress slacks.
“Touch me, baby,” he told her.
Eager to hide her lack of experience, she slid her hand over him, cupping him, listening carefully to his tone to guide her caresses.
He rubbed her faster and she echoed his movements. She felt herself buzz in all her feminine places.
“Oh, Lilly, you feel so good.” He plunged his finger inside her. The movement took her by surprise. “That’s what I want to do,” he muttered. “Get inside you.”
His dark needy tone was a visceral turn-on. She unzipped his slacks and touched his bare erection.
He swore under his breath. “Where’s that dropcloth?”
She guided him a few feet further into the room and knelt down on the carpet. He followed her down and pushed his slacks to his knees. Shoving her skirt up, he pushed her thighs wide apart and thrust inside her.
Pain seared her. She felt too-stretched, totally invaded and not in a pleasant way. She lay beneath him frozen.
“God, you’re tight. Are you sure you’re not—”
Self-conscious, hurting, but determined not to die of embarrassment, she pulled his mouth down to hers and kissed him.
The kiss must have done the trick because he started moving again, thrusting and moaning with pleasure. It didn’t hurt so much now. She might could even like it, she supposed, feeling as if she weren’t really participating. He thrust again and let out a long moan.
“Oh, baby, you felt so good.” He kissed her cheek. “So good.” He kissed her other cheek. “I wish I could have lasted longer, but oh, you felt good.”
She felt warmed by his gratitude. She couldn’t remember him acting so grateful. Her feminine places burned and she felt vaguely dissatisfied. She shrugged. Oh, well, the deed was done.
“Was it good for you?” he asked, pulling back and zipping his fly.
“Sure,” she said, pushing down her skirt and sitting up. She felt a sticky spot on the drop cloth beneath her and made a face, thankful for the darkness.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I mean did you come?”
“Of course,” she said, knowing she hadn’t, but didn’t want to over think right now.
“Lilly,” he said, moving closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. “I have a feeling you’re not telling me the truth.”
She tensed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I have an awful feeling this was your first time.”
Her cheeks heated. “Well, why would you think—”
“Lilly.” He squeezed her. “Tell me the truth.”
She closed her eyes. The darkness wasn’t enough. “It was my first time,” she whispered. “But I’ll get better. I just need more experience.”
“Better?” he echoed in disbelief. “You were so good I couldn’t last once I was inside you.” He reached for her hand. “I’m the one who needs to make it better for you, but I’m not sure this is the place.”
Her heart softened at his eagerness to please her. Maybe he did care for her more than she’d thought. “I want to be so good for you. I want to be perfect for you.”
“You are, sweetheart. You couldn’t be better.” He gently pulled her upright. “Lilly, you amazed me tonight.”
His tone made her feel happy, but something else didn’t seem right. She rubbed her legs together and felt uneasy at the damp sensation. She didn’t want to act like a scared, inexperienced virgin. “I want to please you.”
He gave a dirty chuckle. “Well, darlin’ you really pleased me tonight.” He sighed, kissing her forehead, making her feel cherished. “It’s a shame my parents are expecting us.”
Lilly couldn’t face Robert’s parents without taking a bath and putting on underwear. She just couldn’t. “Listen, would you mind terribly if I called a raincheck tonight?”
He skimmed his finger down her cheek. “Not what you expected, was it?” he asked, his voice full of regret. “I’ll make it better for you next time. I promise.”
Trying to pull herself together, she dipped her forehead against his chin. “Maybe it’s like pancakes,” she said.
“Pancakes?” he echoed.
“My housekeeper used to say that the first batch of pancakes never turns out because you’re in such a rush.”
“And you definitely put me in a rush.”
She felt a trickle of relief at his desire for her.
“Next time, we’ll take it slow.”
Robert drove her home and walked her to the door. “I wish I could stay,” he said, and kissed her. “Remember I’m golfing tomorrow, so I’ll see you Monday night.”
“Monday night,” she echoed, eager to get inside the safe comfort of her home. “Good night.”
Maxine greeted her and followed her upstairs while she soaked in a soothing bath and tried to answer the question of whether she liked sex or not. Ticking off a comparison on her fingers, she decided she liked getting Robert rattled, she liked him to hold her, and she liked having him grateful. She hadn’t liked the messy part, and going pantyless in November was insane.
Emotionally, it had lacked something. She had expected to feel swept away, yet totally enveloped by Robert. She’d expected to feel safer, yet more excited than she’d ever dreamed possible. She’d expected to feel reassured about Robert’s commitment to her.
She did. And didn’t.
She wondered if this was one of those times when sex wasn’t the answer after all. She wondered if the situation with Guy Crandall was clouding her judgment, muddying her vision of Robert’s feelings for her. Maybe she needed to take a deep breath and believe Robert had strong feelings for her and would stand by her. Maybe she needed to believe that deep down, he really did cherish her.
Petting Maxine, she drew comfort from the dog Robert had given her. She would have never predicted how much comfort the dog brought her. Still, their lovemaking had left her feeling empty. She went to bed wearing comfortable pajamas and cotton panties with a little pain in her chest. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about it.
When Lilly rose the next morning, she moved gingerly, but was pleased that she wasn’t as sore. Starving, she bounced down the stairs to grab the Sunday paper from the front porch and enjoy it with her breakfast. She opened the front door and found a bouquet of red roses on her front porch.
Delighted, she picked them up, along with the paper. She opened the legal-sized envelope and read the note scrawled by Robert.
Dear Lilly,
I will never be able to think of library renovations in the same way. Thank you for an amazing evening. I’ll be thinking of you today.
Yours, Robert
She smiled inside and out. He must have delivered them on his way to play golf. It was the first time he’d given her flowers. She often wondered if he thought of her when she was with him, let alone when they were apart. Knowing he’d gone to a little extra trouble gave her hope.
Sniffing one of the roses, she removed the tiny bottles of water at the base of each stem and arranged them in a crystal cut vase. She put a frozen waffle in the toaster and opened the Sunday paper.
Another envelope fell on the table. Lilly picked it up and felt her blood plunge to her feet. It was addressed to Guy Crandall. Her fingers shook as she opened the unsealed envelope.
Send $10,000 in the enclosed envelope for wedding expenses. You do want to get married, don’t you?
Lilly crumpled the note and threw it in the trash can under the sink. Her waffle popped up in the toaster, but her appetite had disappeared.
“Come out to dinner with me,” Benjamin said to Delilah.
She shook her head. “No thanks. I’ve worked at home most of the afternoon and I’m going to treat myself to a take-out chili dog from that place down the street.”