Wildwood Dancing (10 page)

Aunt Bogdana was not easily diverted. “A party,” she said, eyeing me sharply. “That’s what Teodor should have done,
given a grand party for you, with music and dancing—an opportunity for you to mingle with the young men of the district. As it is, you never go out. Nobody ever sees you. I wonder if Nicolae would agree to hold some kind of entertainment here? He does love his music.”

There was a wistful look on my aunt’s face. She wore her hair covered by a demure lace cap, and her gown, though of the finest fabric, was plain in design and dark in color. I thought I could remember a time, before Costi’s death, when she had dressed in bright silks and worn feathers in her hair. There was a picture of him on a shelf near her chair, right next to an icon of Saint Anne. The little painting had been done on Costi’s tenth birthday. I could not look at it without feeling the terror of being on the raft and drifting away, away, into the mist. Looking into Costi’s painted eyes, I saw Cezar’s frightened tears and heard his voice stumbling through the story.…

“We do go out, Aunt Bogdana,” Paula said as she darned the worn heel of a stocking. We had brought a basket of mending with us, anticipating a long day. “What about church in the village? We meet everyone there. Father’s taken us to all the guild houses in Braşov. We do see people.”

“There’s seeing and
seeing
,” Aunt Bogdana said weightily. “Conducting business in merchants’ counting-houses is hardly the same as dressing up and letting folk look at you. A young man needs to view a girl at her best. A young woman clad for dancing is like a dewy flower—she catches and holds the eye.”

I met Paula’s glance and looked hastily away. Gogu poked his head out of my pocket.
If you were a flower, you’d be pondweed
.

“We won’t be having any parties until Father is back home,” I said. “But thank you for the suggestion, Aunt.”

Aunt Bogdana glanced at me. “Jenica,” she said, “for a girl of fifteen, you are somewhat bold in your responses.” Her tone was kindly; I knew she meant well. “Your father …” She sighed. “He’s a lovely man, but he will insist on going his own way, and that does you no favors, my dear. Suitors won’t care in the least whether you can add up figures and tell silk from sarcenet or jade from amber. It all boils down to manners and deportment, dress and carriage. And the need to keep your conversation appropriate. The frog is an issue. He may be a nice little creature, but he does tend to leave damp patches on your clothing.”

“Yes, Aunt.” There was no point in arguing. Aunt Bogdana was the valley authority on what was proper. “Cezar has already mentioned it.”

“Ah, Cezar …” With another sigh, Aunt set down her cup. Her eyes were on Costi’s picture. Daniela got up and bore the tray away. “Life can be very cruel, my dears, cruel and arbitrary,” Aunt went on. “I think sometimes it is particularly hard for women, as we cannot so easily divert ourselves with business affairs.”

“Some women do,” muttered Paula to her stocking.

“What was that, Paula?” Aunt Bogdana had sharp hearing.

“It’s true, Aunt,” I said, drawn into debate despite my best intentions. “Marriage and children need not be the only future open to us. Father speaks of women in Venice and other foreign parts who wield great influence in merchant ventures—women who manage business enterprises in their own right. I’m already helping Father quite a bit, learning as much as I can—”

“Say no more, Jena. That is not a path you can seriously contemplate. Such women are not … respectable. At your age you cannot fully understand what I allude to. Only a certain kind of female seeks to enter the masculine realm of commerce, or indeed”—she glanced at Paula—“that of scholarship. Our strengths lie in the domestic sphere. A truly wise woman is the one who knows her place. You need suitable husbands. They won’t just chance along. You must make an effort. Being a man, your father simply doesn’t understand. That he has never provided dancing lessons for you illustrates that. There is no point in appearing at a party if all you can do is step on your suitors’ toes. Don’t smirk, Paula. This is not a joking matter.”

“No, Aunt,” we chorused.

“Of course,” Aunt Bogdana went on, “if your poor dear father does recover his health, this will become less of an issue for you, Jena.”

“Oh?” My attention was caught.

“My dear, we all accept that Tatiana will marry first. For all Teodor’s neglect of the upbringing suitable to young ladies, your elder sister has great natural charm, and her manners are at least acceptable. She will do well enough for herself, given the right introductions. As the second sister and somewhat less … As the second sister, it would be entirely appropriate for you to remain at home and look after your father. Teodor will never take another wife; he was devoted to Bianca. He’ll need a companion in his old age. That is one advantage of producing so many girls.”

I could feel Gogu’s outrage in every corner of his small form, even through the woolen fabric of my gown.

“I expect that one of us will stay at Piscul Dracului, married or unmarried,” I said, struggling to stay courteous. “We love the house, we love the forest, and we love Father. Of course we wouldn’t leave him all alone.” It was interesting that our aunt never raised one obvious possibility: that one of us should wed Cezar. Not that any of us would want to. My sisters disliked him and I—I was not sure I wanted to marry anyone at all. Not without love. And whatever I felt toward my cousin, it was not the kind of passion I had heard about in tales, the feeling that swept you off your feet and into a different world. It was foolish to expect that, of course. In choosing a husband, practical considerations almost always came before the inclinations of the heart. This was something Aunt Bogdana had explained many times before.

A certain expression had entered my aunt’s blue eyes, one I knew from experience meant she was planning something. “I’ll have a word with Nicolae on the party question,” she said. “It’s not yet too late in the season, if we move quickly. It is a long time since Vǎrful cu Negurǎ has seen a night of celebration.”

“There’s no need, Aunt Bogdana.” My heart sank at the thought of yet another complication in my busy existence.

“Believe me, Jena, there’s every need. What if the worst should occur? Nicolae is hardly in a position to support the five of you indefinitely. Of course, we must hope poor Teodor recovers from this terrible malady and that he returns to us by springtime. But, as good daughters, you are duty bound to prepare yourselves—”

Behind Aunt Bogdana, the door of the chamber opened a
crack. I glanced up, surprised that Daniela had been so quick. Instead my eyes met Iulia’s, and I turned cold. She was standing just beyond the doorway, motioning frantically for me to come out. We had not expected the hunt back before dusk. My sister’s face was pinched and strange, her eyes dark with shock. She stayed out of view of both Paula and our aunt.

“Excuse me a moment,” I said, putting down my handiwork and going casually to the door.

The moment I stepped out, Iulia clutched violently at my arms. She was babbling something about the snow and an arrow. “The blood,” she kept saying. “So much blood.”

I drew her along the hallway, out of Aunt Bogdana’s earshot. “Take a deep breath, Iulia, and tell me slowly.” I was starting to hear noises from outside now, horses’ hooves, men calling out, doors slamming, running steps on gravel. “That’s it, good girl. Now tell me. What’s happened?” My heart had begun to race.

“The man couldn’t see—the light was funny in the woods, like dusk, almost.… It was the deer he was supposed to hit, but the crossbow bolt—it went straight into his chest, Jena! The blood, I’ve never seen so much blood.…” Iulia was stammering and shaking.

“Who?” I gripped her shoulders, my heart pounding. “Who’s been hurt, Iulia?”

“Uncle Nicolae,” she whispered. “Oh, Jena—Uncle Nicolae’s dead.”

A moment later the burly figure of Cezar appeared in the hallway, still in his outdoor woolens and his hunting boots, the
front of his tunic soaking wet. And red; all red. I felt sick. Uncle Nicolae—kindly, smiling Uncle Nicolae—who only this morning had hugged us in welcome and made jokes as the hunt rode off.

“I must talk to Mother.” Cezar’s voice was cold and tight.

“Paula’s in with her,” I said, struggling to be calm. “You can’t walk in like that—you must change your clothing, at least.”

My cousin looked down at his blood-drenched garb. It was as if he hardly understood what he was seeing. “I must tell Mother,” he said blankly.

“Cezar,” I said, blinking back tears. “Wait, while someone finds you a clean shirt.”

“Oh.” Cezar seemed to shake himself, to force himself into the here and now. “A shirt …”

“I’ll ask someone to fetch one.” Iulia was making an effort to help, even as she wept.

“Tell them to hurry,” I said. Noises from the hall suggested they were bringing Uncle Nicolae in. Someone was crying.

“I’ll stay, if you want,” I offered. My hand was still on my cousin’s arm. He felt as tightly wound as a clock spring.

“No,” Cezar said, frowning at me as if he’d only just noticed I was there. “No, you must take your sisters home.” Then, after a pause during which he stared at the wall: “Thank you, Jena.”

We stood there in silence until a servant came with the shirt, which Cezar put on. The servant bore away the tunic. There was a trail of red droplets on the stone floor. I wondered if our uncle had bled to death in his son’s arms. The awfulness
of it made it difficult to say anything. If this had been someone else, I would have put my arms around him and held him—but Cezar was not the sort of man folk embraced. I hugged Iulia instead, and she clung to me.

“Go now,” Cezar said, squaring his shoulders. Watching him, I saw a frightened eight-year-old about to give his parents the news that their elder son would not be coming home. “There’s nothing you can do here.”

He opened the door of Aunt Bogdana’s sewing room. A moment later Paula came scurrying out, workbasket over her arm, an expression of surprise on her face. The door closed. I gathered my sisters and led them away, muttering the terrible news to Paula as we went. Somewhere deep inside I was willing my aunt not to make a sound until we were out of the house. I put a hand in my pocket, feeling for Gogu. He was all scrunched up tight in the bottom corner, as closed in on himself as Cezar had been.

Uncle Nicolae was lying on a board. They had brought him into the hall and laid him across two benches. There was a blanket over his still form with a creeping bloodstain on it. His dog stood nearby, tail down, shivering. There were men everywhere—grooms, villagers, friends of Cezar’s who had come for the hunt—standing about, grim-faced and quiet. I just wanted to go. I wanted to be home, to be with Tati and Stela, to be able to lie on my bed and cry. I made myself stop beside Uncle Nicolae. Part of me was still refusing to believe we had lost him.
He can’t be dead, he can’t. It must be a bad dream.…

I touched his ashen cheek with my finger. It was cold; cold
as frost. This was no dream, but the worst sort of reality. I muttered a prayer; my sisters echoed the words. We had reached
Amen
when Aunt Bogdana’s scream tore through the house.

My stomach churned. A wave of dizziness passed through me.
You’re fifteen—nearly grown-up
, my inner voice reminded me. I took my sisters’ hands in mine. “Come on, then,” I said. “We’re going home.”

Dear Father
, I wrote,
by now Cezar’s messenger will have brought you the terrible news of Uncle Nicolae’s death. They held a
pomanǎ
seven days later. Florica and Petru came with us, as well as Ivan and his family. There were lots of Uncle Nicolae’s friends, and folk from all over the valley, including Judge Rinaldo and, of course, Father Sandu, who spoke very well. The winter has already begun to pinch, and many people are in need of warm clothing and other supplies. All of Uncle Nicolae’s things were given away. Aunt Bogdana wanted you to have his best embroidered waistcoat and his special writing materials; I have put them away for you. We have not seen Aunt since then, but Cezar has been at church. He told me his mother is prostrate with grief and wants no visitors
.

I paused, quill between my fingers. It was cold in Father’s workroom. Outside, snow lay everywhere: piled up in drifts around Piscul Dracului, frosting the trees with white, blanketing the many odd angles and planes of our roof. Icicles made delicate fringes around the eaves, and the ponds were frozen solid. It was almost Full Moon again—two months since Father had gone away—and we still hadn’t received a single message from him.

“I don’t even know if he got my first letter, Gogu,” I said
out loud. “It’s hard to keep reassuring the others that he’s getting better when they know there hasn’t been any news.”

Gogu made no response. He’d not been himself since the terrible day of the hunting accident. Often his thoughts were a complete mystery to me.

“Come on, Gogu,” I said in exasperation, “say something.”

He turned his liquid eyes on me.
Why not tell your father the truth?

“What am I supposed to tell him? That I can’t get any of the local men to come and work for us this winter? That the fences still aren’t fixed and we’ve started losing stock? I can’t worry Father with those things.”

Winters were always harsh in the mountains. All the same, Dorin could usually get men from the valley to come up and help us with our heavy work, for a reasonable payment. This year, when the men of the district were not busy keeping their cottages clear of snowdrifts, their hearths supplied with dry wood, and the river away from their doorsteps, they all seemed to be at Vǎrful cu Negurǎ, working for Cezar. Ivan had come up to give Petru a hand whenever he could, but the immediate work of the farm meant the bigger job of mending the fences had been put off too long. It must be completed before we suffered any more losses.

“I’m worried, Gogu,” I told my friend as I dipped the quill in the ink once more. “I thought I’d be able to manage better than this. I know Florica and Petru are working too hard, and it’s my job to get help for them, but I don’t seem to be able to do it. And I really don’t want to ask Cezar. He’ll just see it as an opportunity to remind me that girls shouldn’t trouble their pretty little heads with such weighty matters.”