“You won't hurt me, darling. Don't stop!” she pleaded, her need for him overcoming her shyness. Her hands feverishly clung to him, holding him tightly while she rained fervent kisses on his mouth.
He raised his head, his eyes searching her passionclouded ones, and then with a muttered whisper he closed his arms about her in fierce demand. He moved into her, reverently guiding her to accept the gently rhythmic sliding. This joining would be forever imprinted in her memory. She was part of this man. He was the universe, vibrating with all the love in the world, and he was lifting her to undreamed of sensual heights, reaching, reaching….
He supported himself on his forearms, tangled his hands in her hair. “I wanted our first time to be long and sweet…but, darling…I can't wait much longer!”
“You…don't have to wait….” She arched to impale herself more completely on his throbbing warmth.
“Oh, God! Oh, love—” He probed urgently, turning this way and that, and moaned with pleasure.
Gloria desperately wanted what they were reaching for, dreaded missing it, and quivered with expectation beneath the pressure of his body. She clung to him, aware only of that thrusting, pulsing rhythm increasing unbearably to a tempo that brought her higher…higher—
She came languidly back to reality and found her hands clasping Jack's tight buttocks, his bearded face pressed to her neck. He was still huge and deep inside her, but the waves of frenzied pleasure that had ripped through her were subsiding. In their place swelled a burning desire to comfort and pleasure him. Her hands moved lovingly over him, smoothed his hair back from his face, stroked it, hugged his head to her breast. With utmost tenderness she pressed her lips to his forehead. She had learned the mysteries about which she had read and imagined, but which she'd never truly believed were accompanied by such overwhelmingly forceful feelings. It was almost as if they were totally and completely in love!
He was a stranger to her, his background as different from hers as night from day, she thought frantically. And yet she felt as though she'd known him all her life, wanted him, needed him, loved him.
His heart was still thundering against hers when he wrapped his legs around her and turned on his side, taking her with him. They lay quietly facing each other, her soft belly tight against his hard one. They kissed for a long time, as if it were the first time and there never could be anything beyond a kiss. His tongue was inside her mouth and moving softly and slowly while his fingers teased the nipple on her breast and then drifted lightly down to her belly and fluttered their way to the place where they were joined. The varieties of stroking thrilled her in a thousand different ways, creating a hunger deep, deep inside her. She knew she should be shocked, but she wasn't. The feeling was so acutely pleasurable that she tightened her arms and legs about him and murmured unintelligible words in his ear. He laughed deep in his throat. It was a tender, loving, knowing laugh.
“I wish I could see your eyes. You're so incredibly sweet, Glory, Glory. I want you to feel everything—”
“I'll explode—” She arched against him when he flexed his hips. “Jack…”
“Talk to me, darling. Tell me what you want, what you feel. I've never known anything more wonderful than the feel of you tight against me, surrounding me. You're like a warm, living china doll—sweet, fragile, yet strong, passionate. Oh, be still, darling!” He breathed in gasps when she moved urgently. Then, “Yes! Oh, yes!” With a long breath he thrust at her full force, and incredibly her body responded to his. They merged into a long, long, unbelievably beautiful release and lay shuddering in each other's arms.
Gloria held him tenderly. She felt an odd sense of power. This big, rough man had quivered in her arms as she had in his. He had made her feel as if she were wonderful, precious, worthwhile—they had come together, as equals, in dignity and need. Slowly his breathing steadied, and he rolled onto his back. His arms pulled her to him and his hand sought her thigh to bring it up to rest on his. They were quiet for a long while, her head on his shoulder, his hand stroking her thigh.
“This brings a new dimension to our relationship,” he said softly.
Gloria held her breath through the seconds of silence that followed. She looked up. The face that was so close to hers was not smiling—she could see clearly enough for that.
“Oh, there's no need for you to feel obligated,” she said, trying to keep the quiver out of her voice.
“Obligated? What the hell are you talking about?”
“I don't want you to think…that I expect—”
“Hush!” The word was sharp, and there wasn't a trace of humor in his voice.
Gloria peered at him apprehensively, trying to read his expression. A few seconds ago she had felt young and happy and cherished, and she wanted desperately to feel again that closeness of mind and body they'd shared.
Jack turned his head toward her. “You're not just a one-night stand. There's much more between us than that. We've got to get it all sorted out.”
She shut her eyes tightly to hold back the tears.
Don't spoil it,
she cautioned.
Don't let him know how afraid you are of being alone, or how much his tenderness means to you.
Their union had been everything she had dreamed a union between a man and a woman in love would be. But he had not said anything to her about love….
“I can't leave Peter in there by himself. He might wake up and be frightened.” She threw back the sheet covering them. Jack's arms tightened around her, refusing to let her go.
“I thought about that. I'll bring him in to sleep on the couch where we can hear him if he wakes up.”
“No. I'll go.”
“Don't go. Stay here with me, Glory. Let me sleep with you in my arms. You keep all my ghosts at bay, my sweet one.” His voice was husky and pleading, and tore at her heart. “Say you'll stay.”
“All right,” she said mindlessly.
“I'll get Peter.”
When he was gone, her hands sought the warm spot where his body had lain.
Oh, dear Lord! I've gotten myself in deep trouble this time. I've fallen in love with an aging hippie!
she thought miserably.
He's sweet and kind, but there's nothing else about him that I admire. He has no ambition. He's content with his hand-to-mouth existence in an old shack in the mountains, and he's ruthless when crossed. I could never live the way he lives, especially with Peter—I need security. Besides, I know absolutely nothing about his background. He could have a criminal record, or be married, for all I know. And what would my family think if I came riding up to the house on a motorcycle with a man with long hair and a beard? They'd be sure, then, that I'd lost my mind.
Something he'd muttered in her ear while in the throes of passion came filtering into her mind.
I want our first time to be long and sweet.
Did he plan for this to be a regular arrangement—that they would perform a service for each other? Dear God! Did he think she was the type of woman who would enter into such a relationship?
Such thoughts ran wildly through her mind as she stared into the darkness, but when Jack returned, slipped into bed beside her, and gathered her tenderly to him, she went to him eagerly and nestled against his strength. In spite of all the reasons she'd cited against continuing a relationship with this big, rugged, sometimes fierce man—he made her feel wanted and…safe.
Long after Jack had fallen into a deep sleep, Gloria lay cozily against his very male body. No one could doubt
his
fundamental virility—it radiated from every pore in his aggressively masculine body. She pushed the thought of the
other
sexual experience she'd had out of her mind. Jack's lovemaking had been tumultuous, and she had responded vigorously to his instruction in the elementary pleasures of loving.
As far as she was concerned, he was her first and only
real
lover.
M
ORNING CAME, AND
with it the realization that she was alone in Ethel's bed. The bedroom door was closed, but she could hear the sound of voices coming from the living room—Gary's, Jack's, and Peter's. The clock on the bedside table was turned face down. She turned it up and was astonished to see that it was nine o'clock. Heavens! She hadn't slept that late in ages.
She threw back the covers, and the cold air hit her naked body, giving her goose bumps. There was a soreness and a stickiness between her legs. She grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom, carefully locking the door behind her. The face that looked back at her from the mirror was the same face she'd seen yesterday morning. How could that be, when she felt so different inside? A man had made love to her all through the night—a tender, caring, considerate man, a man as different from her former husband as day from night. Marvin had cruelly, and hurtfully, taken her virginity, leaving no doubt that it was distasteful to him to do so, but that duty was duty and
legally
he was required to consummate the marriage; then he had left their bed on their wedding night, never to return. Jack had made sure that she shared in the enjoyment of their union, kissed away her tears when heightened emotion caused them to spill from her eyes, held her in his arms while she slept.
Gloria stepped into the shower and let the warm water splash over her. She wondered with increasing anxiety what Jack's attitude toward her would be this morning. Would he be flippant about what happened between them? Would he simply ignore it? Had it meant anything to him, beyond physical relief? Would he take it for granted that he was welcome in her bed for as long as he wanted her?
She washed herself quickly, dressed, then combed her short blond hair into place. No use in prolonging the agony, she told herself. Face him and get it over with.
She found Gary alone in the kitchen; he was getting ready to go out the back door.
“Morning. I heard Peter. Did he go back to our room?”
“Jack took him up to his place. He said to let you sleep. He thinks you've about wore yourself out.”
“I…was tired.” She turned to pour a cup of coffee, because she could feel her cheeks tingle.
“I'm on my way to get Janet. She'll be a big help to you.”
“She can have Aunt Ethel's room. I'll get it ready.”
“No way,” Gary said with an earthy laugh. “That woman's stayin' with me!”
“Oh! Of course. Um…Gary, did Jack say when he'd be back?”
“No. He just said tell you he had Peter with him. Don't worry about the kid. Jack'll take care of him.”
“I know that. I was just wondering—”
“I'll stop and see Ethel. I should be back by noon, and then you can go.”
Gloria stood at the sink and watched Gary back his station wagon out of the garage. She gulped down the coffee, then gathered up her cleaning supplies and started her rounds. Work was the only thing that would keep her thoughts at bay this morning.
Gary returned with Janet shortly after noon. She was a short, full-figured woman with shoulder-length dark hair and soft, dark eyes. Gloria liked her immediately; she was warm and friendly, and obviously very much in love with Gary. She made fresh coffee while Gloria made sandwiches. The three of them sat at the kitchen table and talked about Ethel and the motel until the clock struck two.
“I thought Peter would be back by now,” Gloria remarked anxiously.
“Are you going to see Ethel today? I told her you'd probably come this afternoon,” Gary said.
“I was, but I hate to go not knowing about Peter.”
“Janet and I will be here. We'll look after him if Jack comes back and wants to leave again—which I doubt.” Gary grinned and winked at Janet.
The realization hit Gloria like a dash of cold water that Gary knew she and Jack had spent the night in Ethel's room.
Well, so what?
she thought stubbornly.
I'm an adult, and I don't feel one bit guilty.
Yet, despite her determination to handle herself coolly in this new situation she found herself in, she was frightened, anxious, and apprehensive about seeing Jack again.
“If you're sure you don't mind looking after Peter, I'll go on to town. I want to get back before dark.”
“Don't worry about a thing.” Janet got up to clear the table. “I'm here to help.”
Jack had brought Peter back to the motel while she was in town, and left again before she returned. Peter chattered endlessly about the day: about his dog, watching a jackrabbit run, seeing kittens, a covey of quail, a pocket gopher, a badger. The small boy was so full of all he'd seen and heard, the words tumbled over each other as they spilled out of his small mouth.
“Jack's dog's name's Ringo. It's big and black and has a short tail. Jack makes him mind. He yells and Ringo walks beside him. Guess what, Mom? Jack's town is old…the streets are all dirt…Jack let me dig in the street—”
Jack, Jack, Jack. Peter had said his name a hundred times since coming home. It was hours after his usual bedtime that he calmed down enough to go to sleep. Gloria sat beside him for a long while before she got into her own bed.
“Oh, Jack,” she whispered into the silent room. “Thank you for giving my son such a wonderful day.” Almost without knowing it she added, “And me such a wonderful night.”
Gloria thought about her visit earlier that day with her Aunt Ethel. She had been pleased to see how well her aunt was adjusting to the home. She was in a wheelchair now, and there was always someone willing to take her out into the main room where there were a television and a pool table, and where numerous card games were going on almost all day. Gradually she was getting her speech back and no longer cried when Gloria had to leave. Her eyes sparkled when Gloria told her Janet and Gary were going to be married, and that they planned to stay at the motel until they found a house so they could have Gary's little girl with them.
“Good…good…but you?” Ethel had asked her with an anxious look in her eyes.
“Don't worry about me. Peter and I will keep the motel going until you can come home. I have an income from Marvin.” Gloria knew the white lie was necessary. It wouldn't do at all for her aunt to know she'd cut herself off from Marvin's money when she left Ohio, and that all she had was her small personal savings and a little money from the sale of a few pieces of jewelry he'd given her.