Your Orgasmic Pregnancy (10 page)

• Titty-F***ing Mama
  Anotherdelightformanywomenin T2 is anever-growingvolup- tuous bosom with deeply rich-colored nipples. For many of you, enhanced breast tissue can add “titty f***ing” to your sexual rep- ertoire for the first timeever. Imaginehowpressingyourcleavage around your partner’s shaft can rekindle the fireworks between you. Bring your partner to arousal with oral or manual stimu- lation. Stare deeply into his eyes as you use your upper arms to squeeze your breasts tightly together around one very erect mem- ber. Incorporate lube to allow enough slippage yet enough fric- tion to bringhimeither to climaxor to the verge. Continueusing your hands to stroke, rub, and manipulate as you choose, and
  

  watch your partner reach new ecstatic heights. If you can handle it, have your lover tweak your nipples, which are probably more sensitive than ever. This action alone may easily send you into an orgasmic frenzy.
  

  On another breast-related note, you will definitely need a good bra for extra support during this time, so why not select one that’s also sexy? Although “erotic” and “supportive” don’t always go hand in hand when you’re talking about undergarments, you and your partner can make the search a team effort and have fun with it. Pore through all the hysterical, hideous, and heat-induc- ingpossibilitiesforyour“private viewingsonly” wardrobe. Agreat place to get started is LSR Maternity (www.lsrmaternity.com). Theluxurymaternity brand APeainthe Pod(www.apeainthepod
  

  1. om) also carries sexy apparel, such as the Elle Macpherson bra line, which offers comfort, style, and pretty lace accents.
     

     For all your maternity clothes, but especially undergarments, always opt for natural, dye-free cottons if you’re experiencing any sort of skin irritation. Consider using baby detergents that are free of dyes and fragrances to avoid irritating the hot spot ’tween your thighs.
     

• Broaden Your Horizons
  

  As you explore and enjoy the vast array of sexperiences available
  

  to you and your lover, don’t neglect noncoital play. To give you an idea of what others are up to, we’ve listed some compelling find- ings anoldcolleagueof Yvonnefoundoneroticandsexualactivi- ties preferred during and after pregnancy:
  

  • nongenital tenderness (preferred by 41–53 percent of lov- ers surveyed)
    
  • clitoral stimulation (preferred by 25–32 percent)
    
  • breast stimulation (preferred by 23–30 percent)
    
  • vaginal stimulation (preferred by 15–30 percent)
    
  • oral stimulation, man active (preferred by 6–16 percent)
    
  • oral stimulation, womanactive(preferredby 4–11 percent)
    
  • anal stimulation (preferred by 0–3 percent)
    

    It’s important to keep in mind that some of these numbers are most likely skewed due to social taboos, misinformation about sex during pregnancy, or a lack of know-how regarding safe and do- able sexual activities in the presence of a growing belly. Take the statistics with a grain of salt, and approach the material in this chapter with an open mind. Sex during the second trimester and beyond offers you a lot of choices.
    

    The following incentives should also inspire you. Sexual ac- tivity helps you:
    

  • Keep weight off—Sex can help burn fat and calories. Some lovers claim benefits like weight loss and increases in strength, flexibility, muscle tone, and cardiovascular con- ditioning.
    
  • Manage pain—Sex does wonders for lower-back pain in particular.
    
  • Combat stress—Sex fights your body’s tension by improv- ing your stress response, releasing oxytocin, and stimulat- ing feelings of warmth and relaxation.
    
  • Boost intimacy—Sex acts like a relationship glue by send- ing mood-boosting hormones throughout your and your lover’s bodies.
    
  • Keep your immune system strong—Sex helps your body ward off ailments.
    
  • Sleep better—Sex, including sex with yourself, will help you to sleep more soundly and easily.
    
  • Increase your energy and optimism.
    
  • Enjoy a shorter labor.
    
  • Experience less discomfort during pregnancy and labor.
    
  • Decrease fetal stress, resulting in a calmer pregnancy.
    
• Full-Body Blahs
  

  We haven’t forgotten about those of you who aren’t enjoying sex-
  

  ual bliss all the time. If you’re experiencing the opposite—full- body blahs—don’t worry. You’re normal. You may simply require morerest, less stress, oralower-keyapproach to yoursexlifewhile pregnant. Check out the following pointers:
  

  • Seek out intimate moments with your partner even when you’re not in the mood for sex. Do not allow the blahs to
    

    

    How You Can Help Her
    

    Give her loving reassurances that you are there for her and will help her no matter what. Make regular romantic gestures, espe- cially ones involving tender touch. Throughout her pregnancy, her interest in tenderness will stay constant or even increase.
    

    for partners
    

    interfere with your desire for intimate touch with your partner. In fact, there are few quicker fixes for a really hor- rible day than a bit of sensual touch or sex play.
    

  • Masturbate. Even a small amount of pleasurable self-touch will likely improve your mood and sense of well-being. Masturbation is also known to improve rest and sleep.
    
  • Surroundyourselfwitheroticphotographs, literature, art- work—whatever turns you on. Even when she’s pregnant a woman needs to seduce herself at times.
    
  • Tune in to your senses. Everything is enhanced during T2. Food tastes better. Scents are stronger. Music is more in- tense. Your skin is more receptive. Immerse yourself in this sensory surplus.
    

Even if some of pregnancy’s “side effects” are impacting your game, the more you and your lover are able to be intimate, the better it will be for your body and relationship now and in the long term. It’s important to stay connected with regular touch,

which is a powerful and important component of closeness dur- ing this time. Often underrated, intimate touch is the driving force behind sensuality in late pregnancy. Touch offers physical and emotional benefits such as a boost to your immune system and mood, and the release of oxytocin to enhance sexual arousal, response, and pleasure. Kissing—the long, wet, slow, deep kiss- ing of your presex days—ups the voltage and maintains your con- nection without requiring the energy of more vigorous sex play.

During any loving touchfest, deciding how far you want to go is entirely up to the two of you, but know that occasionally “taking one for the team” can yield some delightful surprises. You may find yourself feeling caught up in ecstasy when you thought you were ready to roll over and fall asleep. Choose to experience the new sensations and heightened sexual response that are the gifts of pregnancy. Delight yourselves by committing to do the deed as often as you can muster the time and energy. The resulting hap- piness and good memories will be worth the effort. Jay fondly re- calls apostclimacticmomentwhenhiswifewascarryingtheirson: “One time, when she had an orgasm, she lay back and said, ‘I bet he’s going to like that.’ And we laughed. We thought that her or- gasm had to be a good thing for him—that it would make him feel good.”

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Sexual Positions to

Accommodate Your Growing Belly

Your breasts are heaving. Your genitals are throbbing. Your whole being is aching. You’re literally dripping with anticipation.

You want sex—no, make that
need
sex—and you want it
now
! Only you’re not sure what you should—or are allowed to—do.

During T2 andbeyond, it’s natural for lovers to find their en- thusiasm for eroticism stifled by real and perceived restrictions on what sorts of activities are okay. While positions putting any pressure on a preggie’s stomach are absolute no-no’s through- out most of your pregnancy (and are probably too uncomfortable anyway), pregnant couples can indulge in a number of basic posi- tions all the way to D-day. These include, but are not limited to, safe variations on: woman-on-top, modified-missionary, side- by-side, rear-entry, standing, and sitting positions.

For these and any other sexual positions you and your partner mayengageinduringyourpregnancy, therearecertainrulesand cautions that need to be observed:

1. Stick with positions that allow shallow thrusting. Your cer- vix may be tender or even bleed with deep penetration, es- pecially late in the pregnancy, when it’s ripening.
   
2. Keepyourpartner’s weight
   off
   yourbellyandtenderbreasts. This can be challenging, but it’s important.
   
3. Utilizepositionsthat allowforthewoman’s controloverthe depth and angle of penetration (in this way she gets to play cowboy!).
   
4. Beginning at four months, according to Dr. Joel Evans, coauthor of
   The Whole Pregnancy Handbook,
   women should not be on their backs for more than five minutes or so.
   

   

   What’s Going on with Your Partner
   

   People have the tendency to see pregnancy as a delicate condition, so remind your lover that you’re not fragile—that you can handle business as usual, inside the bed and out. Many people auto- matically assume that preggies can’t take care of themselves, even in everyday activities. Prove that you are autonomous. Danielle worked up to sixty hours a week until just days before she went into labor. Others, including your lover, will admire your feats, which will make you seem even sexier and more desirable. A 1998 study reported that a woman’s positive work life was associated with a greater frequency of sexual intercourse during pregnancy, and greater sexual satisfaction and less frequent loss of sexual desire at four months postpartum.
   

   for hot mamas
   

5. Avoid positions that require the preggie to twist.
   
6. Communicate! If you’re not jiving with a position, let your lover know. If things need to be switched up, speak up. If you want it harder or faster, take charge.
   

The following positions offer a wide variety of choices. Use your imagination to make them your own by modifying them. Without further delay, let’s have sex!

Note: Although the focus in the following positions is vagi- nal-penile intercourse (including intercourse with a strap-on dildo), if you’re in the mood for anal sex these positions work for that as well.

Woman-on-Top

Especially early in pregnancy, straddling your partner and riding high should pose no challenge at all. Take care to prop yourself upright to avoidexertingunduepressureonthebelly. Whilesome pressure on a pregnant woman’s belly is often inconsequential, excessive pressure can be fatal to the fetus and should be avoided. Don’t lie on your belly or press it too hard against your partner, even in the heat of passion. Doing so can restrict the aorta, stem- ming the flow of blood to you and your child.

Benefits of Woman-on-Top

~
You receive direct stimulation of the clitoris.

~
Beingon top puts you in control of the speed, angle, anddepth of vaginal thrusting.