Black Widow (5 page)

Goddamn, what just happened?

I bring my fingers up to my mouth where I lightly tug on my bottom lip as I look down at my outfit, running my other hand down the black short skirt that Becca insisted I wear when she showed up at my apartment with it in her hand. I’m so self-conscious in it, especially right now.

I hear him clear his throat lightly and I look up, letting go of my lip when he reaches for my hand again, bringing it up to his lips whispering, “It was nice to meet you, Kamii.”

Without saying another word, he releases my hand and turns to walk away. I watch him walk straight to the door and leave without talking to anyone else. My mouth’s slightly open in shock as I stare at the closed door behind him.

Becca’s laugh takes me out of my dreamland, “Yeah, you like?”

I shake my head, “What was that? I know I’m out of the whole dating scene but what the hell just happened?”

She laughs, “Who knows with men. He was into you though.”

I look up, surprised, “You think?”

“Hell yeah, I think! The way he looked at you. Hot damn!”

“God, yes. I felt that...”

“In your pussy?” she interrupts.

“
What
? Um… No… Did you really just say,” I lean in to whisper, “the p word?”

She throws her head back laughing, “Yes, I did. Pussy, pussy, pussy. And I bet yours is wet right now.”

I put up my hands, waving them in defeat, “Ok, ok. I get it.”

“Then admit it. I saw that fuck-me-now look he was giving you. And you were giving it right back to him.”

“Ok, fine. Yes, I’m… wet,” I whisper which makes her laugh even more.

“Girl, own it. Talk about it. Be it. Fucking is awesome! Don’t deny it.”

“I know. I won’t deny it but it’s been awhile so let me get back in the swing of things before I start talking about my,” I lean in again, whispering, “pussy being wet.”

She claps her hands together in celebration, “Yeah, that’s my girl!”

I can’t help but laugh. “But explain to me, why did he just turn and walk away? I really have no clue how this is supposed to work.”

“Who knows? Maybe he’s a hopeless romantic and believes if it’s meant to be he’ll see you again,” she says flipping her hand through the air dismissively as she takes a sip of her drink through the little black straw.

I pick up a nut from the basket in front of us and throw it at her, “Now you’re totally fucking with me.”

“Hey now, look who just cussed! Am I rubbing off on you?”

I smile, picking up my drink, holding it up, “Well, I guess you are. Cheers to that.”

We tap drinks then she says, “Ok good, because there is something I want to talk to you about.”

Oh God, what now? Does she want free legal advice? Is this why she’s been so nice to me? Here I thought I made a friend...

I sigh, totally deflated when she says, “How open are you, sexually…?”

Whoa, so not what I thought would come out of her mouth.

Since I’m just happy it wasn’t a legal question, I answer, truthfully, “Well, it’s been awhile, so unless things have changed, I would say I’m pretty open,” I pause. “I’m not a lesbian though.”

“Don’t worry,” she crosses her hands in front of her, laughing, “neither am I so that’s not where I was going with this. What if I said I could introduce you to a world that you only read about in your books?”

I have to admit, I’m intrigued. I’ve had many dreams about living out scenes in some of the books that I’ve read, “I guess I’d have to say tell me more,” I smirk at her.

“Yes! I knew it. I knew there was a sex kitten inside that little body of yours.”

“Ok, don’t get carried away. I said tell me more. Not take me away right now.”

She laughs, “Ok, so what if I told you I belong to a private sex club and we’re looking to bring in new members.”

“Wait, what?” I ask totally shocked to hear that she not only is a member of a sex club but she’s actually inviting me?

“You heard me. You can bring all those book fantasies to life and more.”

“How? I mean where? I mean who?” Is she kidding me right now? Could this really be happening?

“Ok, don’t freak out on me now. That guy,” she pauses, tilting her head to the door, “there are guys just like that guy there. All hot as hell and offering you things you only imagined in your dreams.”

“Is it safe?”

“Yes, actually, this new place is going above and beyond to make sure it’s safe. Everyone has to sign a code of conduct, a background check and take a STD test.”

“Ok, but is it safe, like word wise?”

This time she picks up a nut and throws it at me. “Yes, it’s a safeword type of place but there’s more to it. It fits whatever kind of kink you’re into, depends on the night you go. Not just BDSM every night. It will be the best time of your life. Trust me.”

“How long have you done this?” is all I could think to ask.

“A few years now.”

“And…”

“And what? I love it. Believe me, I don’t share this lifestyle with everyone, only a selected few,” she winks.

I’m so overwhelmed. Never, ever did I think I would be having a conversation like this. There are so many things running through my mind. Every time I wondered if I would have the nerve to join a club if I had an opportunity and here it is, right in front of me. Then the thought hits me like a stab to my heart, “But I don’t have a guy to go with. How does that work?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. With your hot little body guys will be lining up to play with you. There’s one catch with this place though.”

There it is.
I knew this was too good to be true.
Wait, did I really just think that? Wow, could I really do this?

I shake my head, focusing on this little catch first. “Oh God, what?”

“It’s all anonymous.”

“Ok, what do you mean? I can’t use my real name?”

“No, and you have to wear a mask covering your eyes, like you’re going to a masquerade ball or something.”

“Why? Wait, so you don’t know who you’re, um, playing with?” Is she serious right now?

“No, you don’t. It adds to the fun of it. Everyone is there for the same reason, to get off. This way it takes all the drama, real life shit away from it.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know if I can have sex with someone when I have no idea who they really are.”

“I get it. I do, really. But just come with me. You’ll see what really goes on and I bet you change your mind.”

“What? I can just come and, um, watch?” The thought alone makes my chest tight with excitement.

“You know you want to,” she smirks. “Place opens tomorrow night. Say you’ll come with me?”

I can do that. Just watch. Shoot, that will fulfill enough of my fantasies to hold me over for a long time. I shake my head up and down, “Ok, I’ll come with you. Just to watch, though.”

“Uh huh, and sign up by the time you leave,” she winks.

J
ust breathe. In through my nose, out through my mouth.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m going to a sex club. Me. This is crazy.

I look at the reflection in my mirror and see a completely different person staring back at me. Becca and I met today to go shopping at Union Square. I bought clothes I’ve only dreamed about wearing but never thought I would have the chance.

I have on a sexy little black dress that comes up around my neck and has capped sleeves. The dress is tight around my waist then flows out with a little sheer lining at the bottom, giving a little peak-a-boo from under the end of the short skirt.

I also bought the sexiest lingerie I’ve ever seen though I don’t dare have it on. The bra and panties are black with lace and a garter belt that’s hooked up to stockings that run up my thigh with a black line running down the back of my leg where I would wear a stiletto heel with them.

Really, Becca made me buy it, though I’m not sure exactly why since I’m not a member and have no idea if I will actually become one.

I stare at the bag lying on my bed and think about the last time I had lingerie on. I was with Nick…

“Come here gorgeous,” Nick says with nothing but sex in his eyes and his tone.

I stare at him, naked on our bed. It’s official. I’m Mrs. Nick Schafer. I wore sweet, innocent but sexy, lingerie under my wedding dress. I just slipped the dress off and now I’m standing here, giving myself to him as his wife.

I walk toward him and he takes me by surprise, pulling my hand down to him and flipping me around so I’m lying on my back with him partially on top of me.

He takes his fingers, starting at my face and sliding them down my neck, over my stomach and down to my mound. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of mine and I melt at his expression.

I love him more than anything in the whole world and he just stood up, in front of everyone we know and said he would love me for the rest of my life. Could life get any better?

He starts to run his fingers up and down my slit, teasing me through my panties and I realize yes, life is about to get that much better.

I grab my chest and sit down on my bed. It’s been awhile since I’ve thought about Nick that intensely and now I can’t breathe. I vowed I would love only him, for the rest of my life. Now here I am going to a sex club. Without him. What the heck am I doing?

There’s a knock at my door and I know it’s Becca.

Shoot. I can’t do this. What am I going to say to her?

I answer the door and she reads it all over my face.

“Oh no, girl. You’re not backing out on me. Look at yourself. You’re hot! Guys will be all over you and you’ll break their hearts when they realize you’re just there to watch and you aren’t a member yet.”

I’m reminded of my own broken heart but I don’t dare go there again. I’ve already relived too much for one night, so I keep it to myself. “I’m just not sure. This is all just nuts.”

“Yes, nuts, balls, cocks, whips, chains,” she leans in smiling, “and wet pussies. It will all be there. Come on, you’re just watching. No harm, no foul, right?”

She has a point and I have to admit, I felt a twitch in between my legs when she said the wet p word. I may be a widow but I still have needs. Needs that my rabbit vibrator are just not serving any more.