Breathless (171 page)

I knocked on the door, but no one answered, so I tried the knob. The door was unlocked, and I let myself in. I glanced around for signs of life, but there were none. Trish apparently wasn’t home since her car wasn’t outside, and Jesse was nowhere to be seen either. The place was eerily quiet.

I walked through the living room and down the hall to his room. His door was closed, and I hesitated before opening it. As soon as the door opened, I wished that I’d left it closed. Jesse was in his bed in only his boxers with his arm wrapped around Ally. I felt like I was going to vomit when she opened her eyes and gave me a triumphant grin. She’d won. She’d finally taken him from me.

“No,” I whispered.

Ally held a finger up to her lips. “Shh, he had a long night. You don’t want to wake him.”

At the sound of her voice, Jesse groaned and opened his eyes just barely.

“Ally? What are you doing here?”

“You don’t remember last night?” she asked sweetly.

I was going to be sick.
How could he do this to me?

“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” I said in a shaky voice.

“Emma?” Jesse’s eyes opened wider as he took in Ally in bed with him and me standing by the door. “What the…oh shit. Emma, it’s not what you think!”

“I’m not stupid, Jesse. We had a fight last night, and then I walk in to see you in bed with someone else the next morning. It’s not hard to put two and two together.”

“Let me explain! I was drunk, and Ally brought me home. I don’t know how she ended up in my bed, but I swear, nothing happened.” He looked down at Ally with pleading eyes. “Ally, please. Tell her nothing happened.”

She turned away from him, so he couldn’t see her facial expression as she smiled at me again and winked. “Emma, nothing happened.”

“I can’t…I have to go.” I turned and ran from the room.

I threw the front door open and rushed to my car. I really was going to be sick. I stopped beside my car and started throwing up violently.
Dear God, why did he have to do this?
We could have worked everything out. I would have stood up to my mom and told her that I loved Jesse and that I was going to be with him. I would have put it on a billboard if he wanted me to. But now…everything was ruined.
Everything.

“Emma, wait!” Jesse yelled as he ran out of the trailer.

“Please. Just leave me alone,” I managed to gasp out as sobs wracked my body.

“I swear, nothing happened. Ally is just my friend. That’s it.”

“A friend you sleep almost naked with?”

“I don’t know how I ended up like this, but I know I didn’t cheat. No matter how drunk I was, I would never do that to you.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. We’re done, Jesse. I can’t even stand to look at you.”

“You don’t mean that,” he pleaded.

“I do. I never want to see you again. I think you should move with your mom because I don’t think I could stomach the sight of you at school.” Now that I’d stopped vomiting, I opened my car door and got in. “Good-bye,

Jesse. Please don’t try to contact me again.”

I cried the entire way home. I cried like I’d lost my best friend…because really, I had. Jesse had been everything to me, and he’d tossed me aside like I didn’t even matter. He’d begged me to believe him.
But how could I when I walked in on him and Ally?
There was no coming back from this. I’d given him everything, including my virginity, and now, I had nothing left—nothing.

True love doesn’t exist.

***

Jesse

I watched her car disappear around the corner, taking everything that mattered to me with it.
How did this happen to us?
I knew from the pain in her eyes that she was truly gone.
I didn’t cheat. I know I didn’t.
No matter how drunk I was, I would never betray her like that. Despite my insecurities from the night before, I still wanted to be with her.

It took everything I had not to chase after her. I couldn’t let her go. I couldn’t let her think the worst of me. Maybe if I gave her a few days to calm down, she would see reason and know that I didn’t cheat. Needing some kind of outlet for the emotions running through me, I slammed my fist into the side of the trailer before I walked inside. I went back to my room where Ally was still in my bed.

“Why were you in bed with me?” I asked.

“I’m sorry. I got tired while I was watching you. I must have fallen asleep.”

“How did I end up in only my boxers?”

“I took off your clothes for you while you were sleeping. I thought you might be uncomfortable.”

I sighed. “I wish you didn’t. It looked really bad when Emma came in here.”

“So what? I thought you were done with her.”

“I never said that. I was just confused and upset over some stuff her mom had said. Now, it looks like she’s done with me. She told me to stay away from her.”

“I wish I could say I was sorry, but I’m not. It’s time you moved on from her. She’s not the right girl for you.”

“How can you even say that? You know nothing about her,” I said angrily.

“But I know you. You could do so much better, Jesse. Why can’t you see that?”

“I don’t want anyone else!” “Not even me?” she whispered.

“What?” I asked incredulously.

“You heard me. You can’t pretend that you don’t know how I feel about you.”

I wasn’t pretending. I had no idea where this was coming from. Ally had never even hinted that she felt that way about me.

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Her face twisted in anger as she spit out her next words. “Of course you don’t. You’ve been so wrapped up in her that you can’t even see what’s right in front of you.”

“I—”

“Just don’t even say a word. I should have known better than to hope for something between us.” She stomped past me and out the door.

I stood there with my mouth hanging open, trying to process what had just happened.
Ally wants me? When did that happen?
I walked over to my bed and fell down onto it. My head was pounding like hell, and my world had gone to shit in just twenty minutes.
Why the fuck do I even try?
I closed my eyes, letting the world fade away.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d slept, but I woke up to someone tossing my ass out of bed.

“What the fuck?” I groaned.

“Get up, asshole,” Andy said.

“What the hell is your problem?” I asked. Apparently, today was shit-onJesse day.

“Ally just came home, crying her eyes out. I can’t believe you would do that to her!”

“Do what?” Now, I really was confused.

“Sleep with her, and then kick her out. I thought you were better than that. We’ve been best friends for years, and she’s my sister!”

“Whoa, wait a minute. I never slept with Ally, I swear.”

“Well, that’s not what she’s saying, and I’m taking her word over yours. Stay the fuck away from us, or I’ll kick your ass. I mean it.”

“Andy, I swear, I didn’t!”

“Whatever. Just stay away from us.”

He turned and stormed out of my room.
Jesus, could anything else go wrong today?
I’d lost Emma, Ally, and Andy in the span of a few hours.

“Jesse, why are you on the floor?” my mom asked from the doorway.

I looked up to see her staring at me with concern. “It doesn’t matter. Is your offer to go with you still open?”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Of course it is, honey. What happened to make you change your mind?”

I ignored her question. “I can have all of my stuff packed by morning.”

Yeah, I know I’m running, but I don’t care. Obviously, my word is shit to everyone around here, so what does it matter if I’m here or on the other side of the country? I’m done with all of it, all of them.

I spent the rest of the day and the night packing.

When Mark pulled up the next morning with the U-Haul, I didn’t hesitate to load my stuff first. After we had everything loaded and my mom’s car attached to the back of the U-Haul, I hopped into my Jeep, and I didn’t look back as I followed them onto the interstate and away from everything and everyone I loved.

Epilogue-Two Years Later

Life sucks.
It had taken me a while to realize that, but it finally hit me like a ton of bricks.
The only positive is that you learn from your experiences, and you grow.

Two years ago, I’d certainly grown up when I walked in on the boy I thought I loved in bed with one of his best friends. I’d learned to let him go as time passed—or at least I thought I had.

Now, I wasn’t so sure.
There are people who pass through your life who forever change you and everything you thought you knew about yourself and the world.
Jesse was one of them.

It had been two years since I left him standing in his driveway, but I’d never been able to let him go completely.

I’d debated this decision for months. I’d told myself over and over that it was stupid and pointless, but I always knew that I would end up here. I knew that Jesse had been a part of my old life, my old self, but I couldn’t get my heart to accept that little fact.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I drove down I-79 from the Pittsburgh airport to my new school. Up ahead, I saw the sign welcoming me to my new home. It was ridiculous to be nervous at the sight of a simple sign.

The chances of him ending up at the same school as me were slim to none.

Then, why am I here?

I took a deep breath as I glanced up at the sign just before I drove past it.

Welcome to West Virginia.

Twisted Ties,
book two, now available

About the Author

K.A. Robinson is the
New York Times
and
USA Today
Bestselling Author of The Torn Series. She lives in a small town in West Virginia with her husband and son.

For more information, check out:

Facebook:
www.facebook.com/karobinson13

Twitter:
@karobinsonautho

Blog:
authorkarobinson.blogspot.com

This is a short intro into
Break Me No More
, plus the first two chapters. The full story will release early next year and will follow these four characters. Instead of using the first few chapters to explain the beginning of the story, I thought I’d do a character intro to show a little bit of the path they are about to head down and then explain the why in the full novel.

Meeting Emery

Coming down off a high is the worst feeling ever. Your frame shakes, your stomach tosses and heaves as your body tries to fight off the inevitable wrangling of withdrawal. No matter how much you try to contest it, the only way to rid yourself of the excruciating pain is to succumb to your addiction. Stop fighting it. Just give yourself what your body craves, what it needs, so it’ll all be over and done with.

My addiction is just like all the others. I crave the feel of it between my fingertips, Need the delicious taste of it upon my lips. Want the smell of it lingering around me, teasing me with that sweet aroma long engrained into my memory so that I shall never forget it. I refuse to give up what my body desires. What it craves.

And even though I don’t want to reject everything that I think I need, I know that it’s what I have to do.

My name is Emery Hadley and my addiction has a name. That name is Killian Weston Reid.

I never thought I would become so absorbed in another human being that I would have withdrawals when I am denied him.

But I have and I am addicted to Killian and the only way to rid myself of him is to fight everything my body so fiercely thinks it needs.

It is easier said than done, though. I have tried many times to relinquish his hold on me and I always fail. This time, I have a strategy in play and I could very well lose my soul using this particular treatment for recovery. Desperate times call for desperate measures and I would rather lose my soul than lose my entire being. Maybe it’ll work and maybe it won’t, but at least I will know I’ve done everything in my power to eliminate his potent hold on me.

I have all forces working against me and my strange addiction. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and moving on can be quite difficult to do. The fact that my absolution comes in the form of someone Killian and I went to school with is just the topping on my fucked up sundae.

My options are not vast at all. Walker Creek is surrounded by nothing but trees, mountains, and creeks. I have nowhere to hide, and I sure as hell can’t run away. My parents need me slaving away at Hadley’s, our restaurant and bar, or I would have been on the first train out of Walker Creek, Montana over a year ago when I graduated.

So, see, trying to get sober will be extra hard to do.

I blame it all on a stupid fucking ball, too.

It seems absurd until you hear why though.

Five years ago when I was just in my freshman year of high school, the weather was shit, and the volleyball coach made us practice inside with the football players. Estrogen and testosterone filled the gym. The guys were being assholes while the girls were being flat out bitchy. So when the football coach and the volleyball coach joined forces, threw us a dodge ball, and said take it out on one another by sport, it was all said and done. The game had begun. Freshman girl volleys against varsity football players seemed entertaining at the time. It wasn’t until the ball hit me smack dab in the nose did I find the entire idea revolting. That was the moment when both my addiction and my absolution appeared in my life. You didn’t live in Walker Creek without knowing who the Reids and the Walkers were. And on this particular day, with blood pouring from my nose, I wanted to vanish into thin air and rue the day that Mrs. Goosey had made us play with the guys.