Authors: Kimberla Lawson Roby
W
OW, MOM,
you’re back already?” Brandon said when Charisse and Brianna walked inside the house. He and Marvin were sitting in the family room watching college football. It was just after twelve and Charisse knew they’d be glued for the rest of the afternoon. If Brandon could have things his way, he’d watch game after game well into the evening.
“We never even got our hair done. Lisa had a ton of people in there, so we left.”
“Oh,” Brandon said, his eyes still focused on the game.
“Let’s go, Illinois,” Marvin screamed at the television, but never acknowledged his wife.
“Mom, can I go over to Ashley’s?” Brianna said.
“Go ahead.”
“Bye,” she said, rushing out.
“Marvin, can I speak to you for a minute?” Charisse said.
“About what?” he answered, still gazing at the television.
“It’s important.”
This time he looked at her. “Can’t you see I’m watching the game?”
“It won’t take that long.”
“We can talk when this is over.”
Charisse stood behind the sofa for a few seconds and then went upstairs.
Marvin was really worrying her. They hadn’t spoken more than a couple of words to each other since that night Taylor had come over, and now Charisse was starting to get nervous. It wasn’t that she really cared whether Marvin had anything to say to her or not, but she wondered what he was thinking. She wondered what he was planning to do with the information he had on her. Especially since he was treating her more coldly than he had just a few days ago. She’d noticed it the night she’d come home from church after Taylor had left. Which she hadn’t understood because he’d purchased a new television without her consent and she hadn’t complained one bit. He’d even brought alcohol into their home but she’d acted as though she was happy about it. She pretended to love everything he’d been doing, trying to make sure he didn’t blab anything. She did it so he wouldn’t be tempted to have any conversations with her mother.
In her bedroom, she picked up the phone and called Taylor again.
“Hello?” Taylor answered.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing calling me from home?”
“Because Brianna and I got up and walked out of Lisa’s. Can you believe she had the nerve to have three people in there when we got there?”
Taylor laughed. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I know, and on top of that, she had the audacity to tell me she was taking a break to eat before she started on me. And that’s when I’d had enough.”
“My last stylist used to pull that same crap and that’s why Whitney and I started going to Sheena. Sheena does a great job and she never has more than two people in her shop at one time. And in most cases, she only has one client in by themselves.”
“And that’s why I’m calling to get her number. You know I don’t like that she’s a Jehovah’s Witness, but I’m willing to tolerate anything if I can get in and out without waiting.”
“You’re a trip,” Taylor said. “And I’ll be honest with you, Charisse. If you can’t accept Sheena for the decent person she is and respect her right to believe what she wants to, then I think you should go somewhere else.”
“Taylor, please. Just give me the number.”
“No, I’m serious, Charisse. You do this all the time and I don’t think it’s fair for you to judge people and their religion.”
“I won’t even bring it up. I admit that I don’t agree with what they teach, but as long as she doesn’t try to discuss it with me, I’ll be fine.”
Taylor recited the number and Charisse wrote it down.
“So, what are you and Cameron doing today?” Charisse asked.
“I don’t know yet. Haven’t figured anything out.”
“Oh well, I guess I should go so I can give Sheena a call.”
“Remember what I said, Charisse.”
“Good-bye, Taylor.”
Charisse pressed the flash button and dialed the number. Sheena told her that she couldn’t get her and Brianna in until next Wednesday, but of course Charisse wasn’t missing evening church service for anybody. So instead, she took a Thursday appointment.
As soon as Charisse jotted down the information in her Blackberry, the phone rang. She cringed when she saw that it was her mother calling.
She allowed it to ring three additional times and then picked it up. Marvin answered at the same time and Charisse held her breath.
“How are you, Mattie Lee?” he said.
“I’m fine, Marvin. You?”
“Couldn’t be better. How’s Roy?”
“He’s fine.”
“Good.” Marvin said. “You tell him I said hello and that maybe he and I can go hunting together before it gets too cold.”
“I doubt it,” Mattie Lee said. “Roy has a lot of remodeling work that needs to be done around here, so until that’s finished, he won’t be goin’ nowhere.”
“Well, I think Charisse is on the other extension,” he said. “You take care now.”
“Hi, Mama,” Charisse said when Marvin hung up.
“What is he doin’ answerin’ the phone?”
“I guess because I took so long to get to it.”
“Well, since I hadn’t heard from you or seen you, I figured I’d better find out what was going on.”
“I’m sorry, Mama, but I’ve been working a lot of overtime.”
“Well, is that right?” Mattie Lee’s tone was sarcastic.
“Yes.”
“Unh-huh. And which do you think is more important, some job or your mother?”
“You are.”
“Then you’d better start acting like it.”
Charisse didn’t say a word because she didn’t want to say the wrong thing. She didn’t want her mother to have anything else to scream about.
“So, what’s going on with that Marvin?” Mattie Lee continued.
“Nothing. Everything is back to normal.”
“Meaning what?”
“That I have him back under control.”
“And did he apologize for acting a fool like he did?”
“Yes. He’s been apologizing to me almost every day ever since.”
“Well, I suggest you keep it that way…wait, Charisse, hold on a minute. Roy, what are you standing there for, lookin’ all stupid? Don’t you see me on this phone? Now get back in there and wait until I tell you to come out…Just sickening,” Mattie Lee said.
Charisse felt so sorry for her father and sorry that there was nothing she could do to help him. As it was, she couldn’t stand up to her mother about her own issues, so she certainly would never confront her about her father. Her mother ruled over both of them and it was the reason Charisse tried not to go around her. She knew the time would come, though, when her mother wouldn’t hear any more excuses and Charisse would have no choice but to go visit them.
“So, when should I expect to see you again?” Mattie Lee wanted to know. She spoke as if she’d been reading Charisse’s mind.
“Maybe tomorrow. And if not, I’ll come by next week.”
“No, next week won’t work. I’ll see you tomorrow after you leave that church of yours. Because I know you don’t miss a Sunday going to see that Reverend Demon.”
“His name is Reverend Damon,” Charisse reminded her.
“No, I said it right. The man is a demon. So, I’ll call him whatever I feel like calling him. And don’t you ever correct me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah you’re sorry all right. A sorry-ass excuse for a woman.”
Charisse opened her mouth, preparing to apologize again, but Mattie Lee hung up on her. Charisse would just have to make it up to her tomorrow. She wasn’t sure how, but she would think of something.
After washing and drying a load of clothing, Charisse read a few more chapters of Joyce Meyer’s book and then ordered food from the Italian restaurant down the street. Brianna had come back from Ashley’s and she and Brandon both wanted lasagna. Marvin claimed he would eat anything, but Charisse knew he was only saying that so he wouldn’t have to talk to her. His attitude was worse than ever and she was still trying to figure out what the reason was.
When they’d finished eating, Brandon went up to his bedroom to get ready for the movies and Brianna got her stuff together so she could sleep over at Ashley’s. Ashley’s mother was picking her up and one of the parents of Brandon’s teammates was stopping by to get him.
In the meantime, Charisse cleared the table and Marvin left and went upstairs. She’d been hoping he would stay in the kitchen so she could talk to him, not because she wanted to be in his company but because she really needed to get on his good side. She needed to make things right until she figured out how to muzzle him.
She loaded one plate after another into the stainless steel dishwasher, then the utensils and drinking glasses. But suddenly she thought about Pastor Damon. She thought about the way he’d seduced her and how she’d allowed him to do it. She couldn’t help thinking about the way he’d kissed her or the way he’d forced himself inside her so anxiously. She thought about how good he’d made her feel and how she’d been considering the idea of being with him again and soon. He’d made her feel so wonderful that she was prepared to forget about her rule—that she could only be with him once or twice per year. She knew it was wrong, but she had already prayed about their sexual relations and God had forgiven her. She believed that God understood the strain she was under at home and that He would forgive her as many times as she needed Him to. And of course, He would forgive Pastor Damon, because he’d chosen him to lead His people.
When the kitchen was spotless, Brianna was gone and Brandon was on his way out the door, Charisse wasted no time, heading upstairs to see Marvin. When she walked in, though, she saw a large plush towel wrapped around his body, his back covered with beads of water.
She didn’t want him the way she wanted Pastor Damon, but she was willing to do what she had to.
“Marvin, why won’t you talk to me?” she said, walking over to him.
“Talk to you about what?”
“Us. Life. Anything.”
“Because I don’t have
anything
to say.”
“But why?”
“I just don’t.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do?”
“Whatever you want, Charisse. Hell, you’ve always done whatever you wanted anyhow, so what’s the problem now?”
“I want us to work this out, Marvin. I don’t want you hating me the way you do.”
“But you’re only saying this because I know some of your secrets. The kind that could ruin you if anyone found out about them.”
You dirty bastard.
“That’s not it at all,” she said. “I know you’re unhappy with the way I’ve treated you, but I promise I’m ready to change. I want to change because I love you, Marvin.”
“No you don’t. The only person you love is Charisse.”
“That’s not true. And to prove it, I’ve really been trying with Brianna, too. I’ve really been trying to be a good mother to her.”
“Maybe. But how long will that last?”
“Forever.”
“Well, if that’s true, then I’m happy for Brianna, because she deserves that. She’s a good girl, and while I’ll never understand why, she really does love you.”
“Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you think will help us. I’ll even go to counseling like you wanted. We can set it up first thing Monday.”
“We are so beyond that now. I mean, at first, I thought it might help, but then something started happening.”
“Like what?”
“I started thinking about every terrible thing you’ve said to me, every horrible thing you did to me and how I’ve wasted all these years of my life for nothing. And that’s when I realized I no longer want to be married to you.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“That I’m willing to stay until Brandon and Brianna have both enrolled in college, but after that I’m out of here.”
“You don’t mean that. You’re just upset.”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything.”
“So, what’s going to happen until then? Between now and the time the kids finish high school?”
“I’m moving into the guest bedroom and you and I will be going our separate ways. You’ll do whatever you want and I’ll be doing the same.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“No.”
“I won’t live like this. I won’t allow you to treat me this way,” she said, almost in tears. She felt so frustrated when she couldn’t control him.
“You can take this deal or leave it. Either we do it my way or there are going to be real problems. Either you dance to my music or I’m telling your mother about that insurance policy. And after that, I’m telling her how you used to call your brother in the middle of the night, telling him how much you hated him. The man was on his deathbed, dying of cancer, Charisse. And still you would ask him, over and over, why he wouldn’t just hurry up and die. And interestingly enough, the last time you did that, he died the next morning.”
Charisse was stunned.
“Yeah, you always thought you were so clever. But what you didn’t know was that I wasn’t always being the good little boy you wanted me to be. You didn’t know that I wasn’t always asleep every time you slipped downstairs. There were many nights that I eased out of the bedroom and stood at the top of the staircase and I would hear you saying the meanest stuff to your brother on the phone. There were times when I felt so sorry for him but I never said a word. But I’ll bet if your mother found out what you did, she would make your life a living hell. She does a pretty good job of that now, but knowing her, she would probably kill you over something like this.”
Charisse stared at Marvin in a daze. She wanted to beg him to change his mind but she didn’t have the strength. She couldn’t find the words to convince him if she wanted to.
Just this morning, she’d been thinking that all she had to do was find a way to silence him, but now he had something else on her. And she wondered if he knew more than what he was admitting. She wondered if maybe he would reveal some of her other secrets, but only when he thought it was necessary. He would do it as a way to control her.
But Charisse would die before she would allow him to expose her. Either that or she would kill Marvin and put an end to all of this for good.