Choice Theory (48 page)

quality community and, 322–25

criticism, 21, 22, 33, 36, 52, 93, 218

in love and marriage, 164, 173, 180

crying, 56, 119, 208–9

as control behavior, 25–26, 57

death: anorexia and, 51

from gunshot wounds, 32–33

see also
murder; suici dedelusional memories, 232–33

Deming, W. Edwards, 10–11, 284,302

denial, 116

depressing (depression), 4

clinical, 70

conflict and, 115, 116, 118–26, 131

creativity and, 137, 145–47, 150–51

reality therapy for, 62–73,75–76

reasons for, 79–83, 145, 150, 151

of the workless, 111–12

deprivation, voluntary vs. involuntary,32

diet, 84–85

discipline, school, 249–50, 268–69, 277344

disease, 32

autoimmune, 137–46, 152–53

heart, 84–85, 140–41

psychosomatic, 79, 84, 137–59

divorce, 11, 34, 39, 59, 68, 74, 100, 127, 179, 182, 200, 258

doctor–patient relationship, 78–79

dogs, 217

downsizing, 9, 11

dreams, 134–35

driver’s license tests, 274–75

drug abuse, 7, 22, 29, 49, 87

prevention of, 209n

Drug Enforcement Agency, 22

drug rehabilitation, 24

drugs, 194, 216, 239, 245

brain, 4, 29, 70, 87–88, 257

children’s use of, 196

creativity–destroying, 135, 153–54

memory and, 232–33

Stacys’ use of, 252, 253

eating problems, 22, 215

anorexia and, 32, 51, 52

education, 12, 234–82

in choice theory, 24, 61, 62–63,66, 71, 77–78, 208–9, 320–25

control psychology in, 50, 56,59, 237, 238, 241–42, 249, 250–51, 257–60

defined, 237–38

discipline and, 249–50, 268–69,
1–77

at Huntington Woods, 255, 258, 268–74, 176, 281, 318, 319

of learning disabled, 255–59

nonmath problem solving vs.math problem solving in, 247–48

quality world and, 45, 49–50,55–56, 59, 239, 243, 245, 248–51, 257

and resistance to going toschool, 214–15

schooling and, 237–47, 249, 251–52, 255, 257, 260, 262, 274

at Schwab Middle School, 259–71, 277, 314,318

Stacys and, 248–55, 258, 259

success of, 21–22, 55–56

workless and, 109

see also
quality schools;students; teachers; teacher–student relations Edward VIII, King of England, 35

Einstein, Albert, 135–36

elementary schools:quality, 254, 255, 258, 268–74, 276, 281, 318, 319

Stacys in, 249–51

Ellis, Albert, 10

endorphins, 51

evolution, 39–40

family, family relations, 9, 10

choice theory and, 195–206

trust and, 191–233

visits to, 129, 130

see also
children; divorce;marriage; parent–childrelationshipfantasy, 29, 34, 35, 124, 130, 153

love and, 163

sexual, 175–76

sharing of, 164

fat, dietary, 32

fathers, 200, 224

abusive, 193–94, 245

of author, 89–91, 191, 310–11

workless, nofather–son relationship, 19, 20, 63,
66,
90–91, 191

fear, 52, 60, 61, 82, 155, 157, 263,319

of creativity, 175

sharing of, 164

of the workless, 109

Federal Reserve Board, 286, 287

feeling:creativity and, 136, 137

in total behavior, 72–73, 76, 78, 80, 83, 85, 87, 121, 146

see also specific feelings

fertilization, 27

First Step Program,
178–79, 320

Ford, 292

Fostoria, Ohio,
First Step Program
in, 178–79, 320

Founding Fathers, 40

freedom, 5, 28, 31, 39–43, 193

of choice, 18–19, 41–42, 77

from guilt, 18

quality world and, 48, 55, 57, 58

redefining of, 332–36

strength of need for, 91, 93,99–103, 106–9

survival and, 33

free speech, 40

friends, friendship, 34, 49, 257

choice theory used with, 14–15

compatibility and, 36

good, 14–15, 30, 36

power and, 37

sex and, 35

sociopaths and, 107

the workless and, 109

frustration, 85, 134–35, 144–45

creativity and, 136–37

of Tina, 168–69

fun, 28,30,31,41,43, 164

quality world and, 58

sex and, 35

strength of need for, 101, 103, 106, 109

Funt, Allan, 141

Fuster, Valent, 140, 141

future, 173

as unpredictable, 167–71

ganas,
31, 153

Gates, Bill, 288

General Motors, 292

generosity, 40

genetics, genes:in basic needs and feelings, 25–43

control behavior and, 25–26

personality and, 91–92

purpose of, 27

“Gift of the Magi, The” (Henry), 102

Glasser, Carleen (second wife), 49, 88, 93, 99, 109n, 259, 262–64, 268, 311–14, 320,326

Glasser, Naomi (first wife), 93, 99, 207, 283–84

Glasser, William (author):dreams of, 134–35

family background of, 89–91

fantasy loves of, 163

William Glasser Institute, 209n, 154–55, 268, 337–40

Gone with the Wind
(Mitchell), 46

grandparents, 25, 207, 219

greed, 287–89

grocery store coupons, 247

guilt, 18, 157

guns, 18–19, 32–33

happiness, 1, 10, 15, 22, 88

defined, 22

education and, 268, 271

quality world and, 49–51, 57

search for, 29, 240

Harrington, G. L., 5, 115

headaching, 137, 146, 197–202

heart disease, 84–85, 140–41

Helfgott, David, 193–94

help, asking for, 81–82, 83

Henry, O., 102

Hepburn, Audrey, 163

heroin addicts, 22

Herriot, James, 241

Hirsch, E. D., 239

Hispanics, 245

history, 247, 276

hives, 139

Hoffman, Dustin, 92

hope, 77, 123, 164

human vs. technical progress, 8–10

humor, hostile, 30

hunger, 32, 51, 56

Huntington Woods Elementary School, 255, 258, 268–74, 276, 281, 318, 319

husbands:

Hustler,
49

hypnosis, 232–33

immune system, 137–46, 152

infants: control behavior of, 25–26, 57

play of, 41

power of, 38

quality world of, 56–57

infidelity, 34

information, 3–4, 17, 26, 196

memorizing of, 237–39, 248, 255

insurance industry, 158

worker’s compensation and, 296–97

jealousy, 33, 34, 53

jobs, 77–78, 129, 131

loss of, 82–83

promotion in, 31

satisfaction with, 9

of the workless, 108, 109–10, 112

see also
bosses; work, workplace Jordan, Michael, 135

jury trials, 47

Kelleher, Herb, 11

kindness, 158, 309

Kissinger, Henry, 35

knowledge: acquisition of, 237–39, 249, 253

use and improvement of, 239, 247

language, of control vs. choice, 21

laughter, 41, 103, 141, 164, 208

lead management: education and, 235, 239, 254, 268

solving circles and, 303–5

work and, 289–92, 303–5

learning: fun and, 41, 43, 101, 103

quality world and, 55–60

schooling vs., 237–42

learning disabled, 255–59, 272

letter writing, 68, 71

listening, 21, 39, 43

literature: education and, 240–41, 247

love in, 33–34, 35

lithium carbonate, in

living together, 166

loneliness, 22, 30, 31, 35, 43, 49, 87–88, 128, 195, 257

creativity and, 136–37

love and, 163

Los Angeles Times,
140

love, 28–31, 33–37, 42, 43, 163–71, 193, 194, 289

child abuse and, 220, 229

compatibility and, 36

defined, 34

falling out of, 164, 174

fantasy, 163

loyalty vs., 115, 119–28, 149

nonsexual, 36–37

parental, 193, 208, 209, 211, 215, 217–18

in quality world, 59, 60

reality therapy and, 64–70

sexual, 33–36, 163

sex vs., 97, 102, 103

strength of need for, 91–92, 93, 96–98, 100–104, 106

teenage, 206, 210

the workless and, 109

loyalty vs. love, 115, 119–28, 149

Macbeth
(Shakespeare), 240–41

manic–depressive (bipolar) disease, 111, 136, 154

marijuana, 88

marriage, 5, 9, 89–113, 164–90

abusive, 6–7, 52, 89, 177–79,320–21

boredom in, 174, 175

compatibility in, 89–94, 177

complementary differences in,91

control psychology in, 65–70, 89–91,
97,
164–65, 174–84

failure of, 12, 13, 34, 41;see

also
divorce fear and resentment in, 52

fun in, 41

happiness in, 10

hostile humor and, 30

negotiation in, 42, 93–106, 173–74, 175, 177, 181–82, 187–90

power and, 39, 42

quality worlds and, 48, 52

reality therapy and, 63–70, 80–82

separate interests in, 36, 174

see also
divorcemarriage counseling, structuredreality therapy, 179–90

extended, 188

questions asked in, 179–80

solving circle in, 181–82, 187–90

Marshall, George, 288

Marshall Plan, 288

masturbation, 29

math, 260, 263–64

vs. calculation, 242–47

medical costs, 321–22

memorizing, 237–39, 248, 255

memory, child abuse and, 231, 232–33

men:powerful, 35, 39

as sociopaths, 106–7

women hated by, 49

see also
fathersmental illness, 34, 76–77, 146–49

depression as, 70, 71–72, 79

Mentley, Kaye, 270–73

Mercer, Terri L., 178n

middle schools:quality, 254, 259–71, 277, 314,318

Stacys in, 251–52

minorities, education of, 12, 245,*59

misery, 3–14

child abuse and, 221, 225

as choice, 3, 4

control psychology as cause of, 5–6

of failure of love, 33–34

failure to satisfy basic needs and,30–31,43

prevalence of, 3, 11

prevention of, 13

quality world and, 51

of Tina, 166, 171

two responses to, 22–24

see also
pain; sufferingmoney, 182

disagreements over, 94, 95–96, 183, 186, 187

mother(s), 57,
66

of author, 89–91, 191–92

child abuse and, 224, 225, 226, 229, 230

guilt tactics used by, 18

mother–child relationship, 25–26, 29, 63, 191–92

motivation, 57

in control psychology, 16–17

feeling good as, 28–29

of students, 12, 14, 241

moving, 90–91, 108–9

Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus, 135–36

murder, 34, 38, 52, 80–81

My Last Duchess
(Browning),53

My Quality World Workbook,
209n

needs and feelings, basic, 15–43

quality world and, 45, 47

relationships and, 41–43

see also
belonging; freedom; fun;love; power, the powerful;survivalneeds and feelings, strength of, 89–113, 1
77

of sociopaths, 106–9, 112

of the workless, 107–13

negotiation:in marriage, 41, 93–106, 173–74, 175, 177, 181–82, 187–90

parent–child, 210, 216–17

nervousness, 118, 121

neurosis, 146, 154–57

new psychology, need for, 3–24

nicotine, 87

Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy
Business Recipe for Both
Business and Personal Success
(Kelleher), 11

objectivity, 47

obsessing, 146–47, 154–55, 157

obstruction, 292–96

Ohio, Education Department in, 263

Ohio State Venture Capital Grant, 265

Orthopaedic Hospital, 78

ownership thinking, 15, 41, 52–53, 103

pain, 26, 29, 31, 122, 146–47, 157

controllable vs. uncontrollable, 20

of powerless, 39

panicking, 146–47, 154–56

paradoxical counseling, 157

parent–child relationship, 191–219

control psychology in, 4, 7–8, 18, 19, 20, 25, 59–60, 195–96, 212

father–son, 19, 20, 63, 66,90–91, 191

giving advice in, 210–11, 213–14

mother–child, 25–26, 29, 63, 191–92

negotiation in, 210, 216–17

of poor and powerless, 11

quality world and, 56–60

of the workless, 110

parents:education and, 237, 249, 251, 2–55–56, 269, 270

elderly, 195

quality world and, 50, 52, 53,57–60

trust and, 190–219

see also
fathers; mother(s) Parkinson’s disease, 135

past, the, 121, 231–32

avoiding, 116–17, 130, 231

of the workless, 110

Pauling, Linus, 142

peek–a–boo, 41

performance reviews, annual,302–3

personality:compatibility and the strength ofthe needs and, 89–113

differences in, 92

phobicking (phobias), 76–77, 79, 146–47, 154–55

physiology, 4

creativity and, 135, 136

in total behavior, 72–76, 80, 83–85

Pittsburgh conference, 234–35, 248–49

play, 41

pleasure, 88

delaying, 29

quality world and, 49–50

search for, 21–24, 29, 30, 49

sex and, 29, 31–32, 35

see also
happinesspneumonia, lobar pneumococcal, 148

police, 322

politics, quality world and, 45, 47,48, 54, 55

posttraumatic stress disorder(PTSD), 136, 154–55, 157–58

poverty, 11–12

power, the powerful, 6, 11, 18, 29,37–39

anorexia and, 51

helping others and, 30

loss of, 31

love and, 42

quality world and, 47, 48, 51,53, 58, 60

sex and, 35

strength of need for, 91, 92, 94,98–102, 106, 108, 111

survival and, 33

powerless, the:control behavior accepted by, 6