Authors: M.D. William Glasser
pain of, 39
preschoolers, quality world of, 58–59
present, the, 121
as emphasis of reality therapy, 116–17, 130, 167–69, 220–21, 231–32
prevention, 13
problem solving, 244–48
nonmath vs. math, 247–48
Procter and Gamble, 263
proficiency testing, 280–82
progress, technical vs. human, 8–10
Prozac, 4, 70, 87–88
psychology, traditional, failure of, 5
psychosis, 135, 136, 146–49, 153–54, 193
bipolar (manic–depressive), in, 136, 154
psychosomatic diseases, 79, 84
creativity and, 137–59
psychotherapy, 62–63
drugs and, 88
the workless in, 110–11
punishment, 5–8, 13, 16, 21, 50,55,61
education and, 237, 238, 241, 249, 250–51, 253, 257
holding back love as, 97
in parent–child relationship, 7–8, 19, 20, 59, 60, 196, 200, 207, 208, 212
put–downs, 29, 30, 52, 106, 173, 187
quality, defined, 236
quality community, 254, 309–31
history of vision of, 314–18
implementation phase of,330–31
initial steps in creation of,325–28
picturing of, 318–25
readers’ groups and, 328–29
Quality School, The
(Glasser), 235, 269, 270
Quality School Consortium, 254
quality schools, 234–37, 239, 247, 154–55, 159–80
competence and testing in, 273–80
criteria for, 282
Quality School Specialist Program, 2–55
Quality School Teacher, The
(Glasser), 234, 269
quality world, 44–61, 113
community and, 60–61
defined, 45
ideal relationship in, 102
ideas for belief systems in, 45,54–55, 57
love and, 163, 164
people in, 45–60, 68,
69,
71, 74, 102–5, 148, 150–51, 163, 169, 182, 192–94, 198, m, 236, 245, 248, 257
self–idealization in, 53
sharing of, 164
things in, 45, 54, 57, 239, 243, 249, 250, 256, 257
two opposing pictures in,
see
conflict
Quality World Activity Set, The,
209n
Rain Man
(movie), 92
rational emotive behavior therapy, 10
readers’ groups, 328–29
reality:defined, 44, 46–48
dreams and, 135
learning to deal with, 59
of men vs. women, 167
of workless person, 109, inreality therapy, 62–88
case studies of, 62–76, 80–83, 85–88, 115–3*, 148–53, 156–57. 165–74, 182–90, 197–206, 221–31
conflict and, 114–33
defined, 62
marriage counseling in, 179–90
total behavior and,
see
totalbehaviortraditional counseling comparedwith, 116–17
rejection, 49, 83, 84, 164, 211, 2.31
religion, 6
quality world and, 45, 47, 54
remarriage, 34, 69–70, 93, 101
resentment, 52
responsibility, teaching, 212, 213
retirement, 42, 90–91
rewards, 5–6, 16, 21, 41, 208
Ritalin, 257
schizophrenia, 136, 147–49
schooling, 237–47, 249, 251–52, 255, 257, 260, 262, 274
calculation vs. math in, 242–47
defined, 237
schools,
see
education; students;teachers; teacher–studentrelationship
Schools Without Failure
(Glasser), 270
Schwab Middle School, 259–71, 177, 314, 318
science, 243, 247
serotonin, 87
sex, 60, 187
of adults abused as children, 221–25, 228–29
children and, 196, 205, 206, 216
long–term, 175–76
love and, 33–36, 163
love vs., 97, 102, 103
power and, 35
premarital, 165, 166, 167
quality world and, 48, 49
strength of the needs and, 97, 102, 103, 105
survival and, 31–32, 35
unloving, 7, 22, 29, 49, 239, 2–45
sexual abuse, 218, 219
case study of, 221–31
sexual aids, 176
Shakespeare, William, 135–36, 240–41, 245
Shine
(movie), 193–94
signals, in control psychology, 16–17
Simpson, Wallis Warfield, 35
smoking, 84–85
sociopath, 106–9, 112, 113
workless person compared with, 108, 109
solving circle, 42, 94–106, 173–74, 175, 177
child–parent, 210, 218
in marriage counseling, 181–82, 187–90
premarital, 100–101
in workplace, 303–5
Southwest Airlines, 11, 289
Staying Together
(Glasser), 190
strangers, 15, 309
stress, 84, 95, 197–98
students, 234–82
failing, 38, 237,
2.39–41,
259
learning disabled, 255–59, 271
motivation of, 12, 14, 241
overage, 264–65
at Pittsburgh conference, 234–35, 248–49
quality world of, 49–50, 55–56, 239, 243, 245, 248–51, 257
at Schwab Middle School, 259–68
Stacys, 248–55, 258, 259
see also
teacher–student relation–Shipsuffering:control over, 4, 29, 77
control psychology and, 7
power and, 40
see also
misery; painsuicide, 32, 34, 53–54, 69, 81, 147
survival, 25–33,43, 231
crying and, 25–26
quality world and, 48, 56–57
sex and, 48, 49
strength of need for, 94, 95–96,98, 101, 102, 106, 108
system, the, 12
systems approach to counseling, 12
Take Effective Control of Your
Life
(Glasser), 140–41
taxes, 287, 288
teachers, 6, 9, 23, 25, 131, 194, 134–43, 159–76
power of, 38
at Schwab Middle School, 259–68
teacher’s assistants (TAs), 277–78
teacher–student relations, 10, 12,50
computers and, 55–56
quality world and, 49–50,55–56, 59
role–play of, 239–41
school success and, 21–22
Stacys and, 248–55
technical vs. human progress, 8–10
teenagers, 198–206, 209
love needed by, 217–18
power of, 38, 60
quality world of, 55–56, 60
Ten–Step Discipline Program, 269
testing, 273–82
proficiency, 280–82
in quality schools, 273–80
thinking, 4, 129, 239
creativity and, 135–36
dreams as, 135
ownership, 15, 41, 52–53, 103
in total behavior, 72–76, 79, 80, 83, 85, 87, 121, 135, 146
TLC (total learning competency), 273–80
toddlers, quality world of, 58
total behavior, 72–88, 145
activity in, 72–76, 78–79, 80, 83, 85, 87, 146
creativity in, 135–36
defined, 72–73
dreams as, 134
feeling in, 71–73, 76, 78, 80, 83, 85, 87, 121, 146
physiology in, 72–76, 80, 83–85
thinking in, 72–76, 79, 80, 83, 85, 87, 121, 135, 146
trust, 52, 64, 103, 191–233
child rearing and, 195–218
dealing with child abuse and, 218–33
establishing, 211, 213
inability to, 116–17, 220, 223, 236
rebuilding, 212
tutoring, 261–62, 266
unhappiness,
see
misery; pain; sufferingvan Gogh
Vincent, 135–36
Van Vleet, Marjorie, 312
Ventura School for Girls, 314–19
Vietnam war, 55
violence, 7, 22, 49, 194, 239, 245
violence
(cont.)
depression as alternative to, 80–81
in marriage, 6–7, 52, 89, 177–79. 310–11
of sociopath, 107
of Stacys, 252, 253
survival and, 32–33
vitamin C, 142
vocational schools, 252–53
Wadsworth VeteransAdministration Hospital, 142–44
Waller, James, 118n, 151–52
wars, 55
withdrawal, 173
women:abuse of, 6–7, 52, 98, 177–79, 221–31
domineering, 89–91
male hatred of, 49
power and, 35
workless, 108
see also
mother(s)work, workplace, 11, 283–305
boss management and, 284–89, 292–96
high–quality, 10–11
lead management and, 289–92,303–5
obstruction and, 292–96
performance reviews vs. solvingcircles in, 302–5
see also
bosses; jobsworker–manager relations, 9, II, 12.
worker’s compensation, 296–302
workless, the, 107–13
psychotics compared with, 153
W
HEN
I
GOT STARTED
on the wrong track, Bob Sullo did a lot of thinking and helped me straighten out. I probably would have gotten there eventually, but I appreciate very much what he did. His book,
Inspiring Quality in Your School
(NEA Professional Library, 1997), discusses how a lot of choice theory is put to practical use in a school.
Bob Wubbolding, a colleague of twenty-five years, made some good suggestions throughout. His expertise is reality therapy, and he is in the process of writing a new book,
Reality Therapy for the 21st Century.
Among the things he’ll do in this book is answer all the people who question whether there is a research base for this therapy. There is.
Kay Mentley, mentioned in depth in chapter 10, is the principal of the first quality elementary school, Huntington Woods, that is choice theory from floor to ceiling. Put together every fantasy about what a school should be; Kay and her staff have brought them to life. Her book,
Quality Is the Key: Stories from Huntington Woods,
is available from the William Glasser Institute.
Linda Harshman, the director of the William Glasser Institute, made it possible for me to have the time to write this book. She is a lead manager; talk to any of our staff and you will quickly see why. To me, she is indispensable.
If you found that the book reads easily and clearly, I thank Cynthia Merman, my editor. When I sent her the manuscript, I said, “Work your magic.” She did.
Brian Lennon, from Skerries near Dublin, Ireland, gave me the support I needed when my editor faxed me while I was in Slovenia to tell me that the book was great, but that it needed a new subtitle. He helped to steer me in the right direction, but my many Slovenian and Croatian colleagues also did their part. When we asked, “What does choice theory mean to you?” they said, “Freedom.” Recently at a conference in Acapulco, I had the pleasure of meeting a caring brain researcher, S. Paul Rossby, who presented a paper on the neurophysiology of violence. When my wife and I talked to him afterward, tears came to his eyes when we told him we believe that violence is not irreversibly imprinted into the brains of many young people who seem so callous and hard to reach. With caring and choice theory, their violence can be reversed. We look forward to sharing ideas with him again.
If you want to reach any of these people for any reason, and they are well worth reaching, contact the William Glasser Institute for their addresses. They helped me, and I’m sure they would not hesitate to help you.
I have to stop here. If I went on, I might not be able to stop short of the hundreds of people teaching choice theory who are joining me in the task of driving the plague of external control psychology from the Earth.
WARNING: PSYCHIATRY CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Glasser describes how psychopharmacology has usurped the role of psychotherapy in our society, explains the wide implications of this radical change, and details what can be done to counter it.
FOR PARENTS AND TEENAGERS:
Dissolving the Barrier Between You and Your Teen
Glasser shows how parents can strengthen their relationships with their children by listening to their points of view and admitting that they, as parents, might occasionally be mistaken.
CHOICE THEORY:
A New Psychology of Personal Freedom
In one of this century’s most significant books on psychology, Dr. Glasser offers a non-controlling psychology that gives us the freedom to sustain the relationships that lead to healthy, productive lives.
THE LANGUAGE OF CHOICE THEORY
•
WITH CARLEEN GLASSER
Using real-life conversations as examples, the left-hand page of this guide cites typical controlling orders or threats, while die right pages exhibits a more reasonable version, using choice theory.
CHOICE THEORY IN THE CLASSROOM
Glasser puts his successful choice theory to work in our schools—with a new approach to increasing student motivation.
REALITY THERAPY:
A New Approach to Psychiatry
Glasser explains his procedure, an alternative to Freudian psychoanalytic procedures, showing its merits over conventional treatment.
COUNSELING WITH CHOICE THEORY:
The New Reality Therapy
In this long-awaited continuation
of Reality Therapy,
Dr. Glasser takes readers into his consulting room and illustrates exactly how he puts his popular therapeutic theories into practice.
REALITY THERAPY IN ACTION
“In this age of managed
care …
reality therapy might be a better alternative to expensive psychiatric drugs.”
—
Library Journal
CONTROL THEORY IN THE PRACTICE OF REALITY THERAPY:
Case Studies
•
EDITED BY NAOMI GLASSER
A collection of case studies and examples of how Control Theory can translate into the practice of Reality Therapy.”
THE CONTROL THEORY MANAGER
Combining Control Theory with the wisdom of W. Edwards Deming, this indispensable management resource explains both what quality is and what lead-managers need to do to achieve it.
THE QUALITY SCHOOL:
Managing Students Without Coercion
An examination of coercive management as an educational problem.
THE QUALITY SCHOOL TEACHER:
A Companion Volume to The Quality School
How to establish warm, totally non-coercive relationships with students, teach only useful material, and promote student self-evaluation.