Choosing Happy (Madison Square #2) (26 page)

Chapter 25

Madison

Bryan watched Sean disappear up the stairs before he turned back to face me. I wiped a tear from my eye and forced a smile to my face. “How was your flight?” I asked.

“Fine,” he said. He studied my face as I did my best to try to keep myself from falling apart.

Bryan narrowed his eyes. “Did he say something to you?” I shook my head, and he sighed. “I’m sorry, Madison. I didn’t know he would be here. My relationship with my son has been strained, at best. I’m sorry if he said or did anything to upset you.”

“No,” I said. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

Bryan stepped toward me and ran a hand down my arm. I did my best to remain still even though my instincts were screaming at me to move away from his touch. “I’ll talk to him. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. This weekend was meant to be fun.”

I looked up at him, a sweet smile spread across his lips. He looked so much like Sean, but at the same time he wasn’t. My heart sank and tears pricked behind my eyes, threatening to fall at any minute.

The sound of footsteps stampeded down the stairs and Sean rounded the corner, his eyes landing on Bryan’s hand, which was still resting on my arm. He was dressed, his jacket clutched in his hand, his knuckles red and irritated. He glared at us, his fingers turning white as his grip tightened on the jacket. He turned quickly on his heel and headed down the hall. I flinched as the sound of the door slamming echoed down the hallway.

Bryan sighed and looked back at me, his hand moving up my arm once again.

I looked around and finally stepped out of his reach. “Can we sit?” I asked. “There’s something we need to discuss.”

Bryan’s brows pulled together as he nodded.

We made our way to the living room, and Bryan took a seat on the couch as I settled into a chair across from him, trying to put as much space between us as possible.

Bryan frowned and stayed quiet as he waited for me to begin.

“Sean and I…” I started, then paused to clear my throat and steel my nerves before I continued. “We’ve met before.”

Bryan nodded.

“We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks.”

Bryan’s expression never changed. He stayed still, lips tight and muscles stiff as I told him everything, about how we met, how things ended just before the ball, then how I found out that he was Sean’s father. Through it all, he never said a word.

When I was done, he nodded. “So this morning…” he said, letting the question hang in the air between us, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“I’m so sorry. After I found out, I panicked. I’ve worked so hard on this project and I didn’t know what to do or say, but you had to know the truth.”

“Do you have feelings for him?” he asked. I didn’t answer. “My son. Are you in love with him?”

“I…” I stammered. I’ve been asked this question before. Margot, Liam, they both asked me point blank and I said no, but for some reason, as I sat there with Bryan staring at me, waiting patiently for an answer, I couldn’t say it.

Bryan got to his feet and headed over to the bar to pour himself a large glass of scotch and gulped it down. He kept his back to me as he set the glass down on the bar.

“Did he tell you about his mother?” he asked. He kept his back to me as he poured another drink.

“He told me about the accident.”

Bryan turned and pushed his hand into the pocket of his gray slacks. “She was everything to me,” he said with a smile. “Nothing about my life was good until I met her. She saved me. She showed me what it meant to be loved. I was angry, selfish, and determined to better myself. I wanted nothing more than to get as far away from my old man as I possibly could. Diane put me at ease. She was the only peace in my life, and I loved her more than anything in this world. We got married, and things were great. For the first time in my life, I was happy.” He sighed and took his seat on the couch. He was quiet, lost in the memories of his late wife. I stayed still, my hands folded in my lap as I waited for him to continue.

“I never really wanted kids. My old man was a son of a bitch and a drunk. I didn’t want to risk ending up like him, but Diane was different. She wanted a family, and I would’ve done anything to make her happy. When Sean and Emily were born, I made myself a promise. I would ensure that they lived a good life, that they were successful. I wanted them to be smart and driven. Be tough and able to stand up for themselves when the world turned against them. Diane was the nurturer. She was kind and loving in ways that I never thought I was capable. I convinced myself that she loved them enough for both of us. I thought my job was to prepare them, to challenge them to better themselves. By the time I realized how wrong I was, it was too late. When Diane…” His voice cracked with emotion as he said her name. “After the accident, I broke. I blamed myself, I blamed the other driver, and worst of all I blamed Sean. I just kept thinking if he hadn’t gotten in trouble, we wouldn’t have been on the road that night and Diane would still be here.”

I wiped a tear from my eye, and looked away. I could feel the regret and anguish he felt, the pain that had been a constant part of his life for years.

“I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him. Sean was still in the hospital. He needed me and I just turned my back on him. I was bitter and angry and irrational. I started drinking and couldn’t stop. Every day I chased the numbness to the bottom of the bottle, again and again until I looked in the mirror and realized what I’d become, my worst nightmare, my father.”

My heart broke for him. Tears fell freely down my cheeks as he went on.

“I got back on my feet and got the help that I needed, but by then it was too late. Sean and Emily were happy and thriving living with their grandmother. I thought it would be better for both of them if I just stayed away. I kept tabs on them over the years, but I kept my distance. Sean grew into a wonderful man. He was happy, and he loved in a way I never could. I saw how he protected Emily, how he sacrificed for her. I felt intense pride at the man he’d become and at the same time, I knew that he became that man not because of me, but in spite of me.”

“Did you ever tell him?” I asked.

Bryan gave me a sad smile and shook his head. “No,” he said. “His life is full. I’m the bastard who ruined his childhood and abandoned him. I wasn’t going to disrupt his life for my own selfish gain, but when he came to me to ask for help with Emily’s tuition, I gave him a condition that allowed me to get to spend some time with him. I was stupid enough to believe that if he got to know me now, maybe things between us would heal themselves and we could move forward, but I underestimated his pain.”

I nodded. “He hides it well.”

Bryan looked up at me, a small smile on his lips. “That he does.”

“So, why tell me all of this?” I asked. “You don’t owe me any explanations.”

He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. “True, but I don’t want you to make the same mistakes with him that I did.”

My eyebrows pulled down, and I narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t wait until it’s too late to tell him how you feel.”

“But I…”

“Madison, you’re in love with him. I saw the pain in your eyes when he left, and I see it there now. You love him and he loves you. Don’t let fear keep you from making the right choice.”

Tears poured down my cheeks and I looked up at the ceiling, willing them to stop. I took a deep breath and laughed. “Ugh,” I said. “This is a great way to start the weekend. I need to get a grip before Eric gets here.”

Bryan laughed and bit his lip. “About that,” he said. “Seems I have a confession to make. Eric isn’t coming.”

I frowned and wiped at my face. “What?”

Bryan gave me a sheepish grin. “I let it slip the other day that I was interested in getting to know you romantically, and he came up with this whole beach weekend thing as a chance for the two of us to be alone.”

My jaw dropped. That sleazy son of a bitch.

“I was going to tell you last night, then my flight was delayed and then all this. I’m sorry.”

His regret was sincere and my anger lessened. Eric was such a sleaze bag.

“I guess we can call it even then.”

Bryan laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“So, what happens now?” I asked.

Bryan rested his hands on his knees. “Well, we’ll have some breakfast because I’m starving. Then I’ll go upstairs, take a shower, and head back into the city.”

“Right, me too. I’ll just…” I said.

“No,” he interrupted. “Stay. I invited you. There’s no reason you can’t stay and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Besides, it will give you and Sean a chance to talk.”

I gave him a small smile. “Thank you, Bryan.”

He smiled and headed into the kitchen.

We had a nice breakfast on the back deck. We discussed some ideas for the development project and gossiped about Eric. I felt a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was surprising how easily we fell back into a working relationship after spilling our guts to each other.

Bryan headed up stairs to shower and change before heading back to the city. I cleaned up the kitchen and put away the leftover food in the fridge.

I put the last dish in the dishwasher and turned it on just as Bryan came around the corner, his hair damp from the shower and an overnight bag slung over his shoulder.

“Well, I’m off,” he said. He took a card from his wallet and set it on the kitchen counter. “Here is the number for my car service. They’re available to you whenever you need them.”

I nodded. We stood in silence for a moment before he smiled and held out his hand. “A pleasure, as always, Ms. Buchanan. I look forward to seeing you again.”

I laughed and shook his hand. “Same to you, Mr. Townsend.”

He smiled and headed for the door. “Bryan,” I said. He stopped and turned to face me. “You should talk to him. You owe it to each other.”

Bryan gave me a sad smile and nodded before he headed out the door.

***

With Bryan gone, the house was quiet, too quiet. Sean hadn’t come back, and I still had no idea what I was going to do or say to him when he did.

I was going crazy just sitting in the house, so I decided to go for a walk on the beach, clear my head. The sand was cool and rough against my bare feet, and I pulled my sweater tight around me to fight off the wind.

Everything that had happened over the past few weeks ran through my head. The divorce, Sean, Michael, Bryan, my mother, all of it. All the chaos and the drama that had become a part of my everyday life played on a constant loop. So much for being boring. I would kill for just a little bit of boring in my life right now.

Through all the noise in my head, Bryan’s words were what screamed the loudest.
You’re in love with him. Don’t let fear keep you from making the right choice.

Do I love him?
The thought hit me hard. I’d never really asked myself how I felt about Sean. I’d spent so much time fighting against it or discounting the thought as ridiculous that I never stopped to really consider it.

That heart-stopping smile of his flooded my head, and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. My chest warmed just from the thought of that smile, and all the chaos and noise in my head cleared away. None of it mattered. Nothing in my life was more important than Sean. All there was left to do was tell him.

I made my way back to the house and stopped when I saw his car in the driveway. I smiled and jogged up the steps. I typed the code in the keypad and headed down the hall, stopping dead in my tracks when I rounded the corner to the kitchen.

A tall blonde stood there, leaning against the counter. She sipped a glass of wine while she examined her finger nails. She was dressed to kill in a tight black mini dress and sky high strappy sandals. She was probably about twenty-six. Her long hair fell in loose waves down her back and her eye make-up was smoky and heavily applied, giving her a sexy, sinister look. She was a sharp contrast to my skinny jeans, oversized sweater, and no make-up.

I cleared my throat, and her head snapped up. A smile spread across her face, and she pushed off the counter. “Hi,” she said, offering me her hand. “You must be Madison. I’m Chris. Seany’s told me so much about you.”

I stared at her hand in shock. Seany?

I shook my head and then her hand, finally finding my voice. “Nice to meet you. You’re a friend of Sean’s?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “He’s the greatest. We have big plans tonight.”

Big plans, huh? I guess he wasn’t that heartbroken. Seemed he’d moved on pretty quickly.

I heard footsteps on the stairs and Sean appeared, stopping when he saw me. Quickly he turned his attention to the leggy blonde and a smile lit his face. “Hey, gorgeous,” he said. He wrapped his arm around her waist, dipping her back and planting a kiss on her cheek.