Christmas and Forever (10 page)

Chapter Eight

A chain tightened around his heart as if Liya herself was pulling on the metal. “It’s going to happen,” he whispered hoarsely.
I just wish it could be me.
“You’re a lovely young woman, sweetheart, and I’m going to be jealous and hate the bastard for the rest of my life.”

“You promise?”

Aidan chuckled in spite of himself. Cradling her in his arms, he dropped a kiss on a closed eyelid. How was he going to let her go? When he was with her, life felt calm, peaceful, almost as if his world hadn’t been gutted and thrown to the wayside. He tipped her chin. “Are you still leaving?”

“I don’t know. Why should I stay?”

Aidan traced his knuckles against her cheek. “Because I want these three days more than anything else I’ve ever craved in a long time. I want to know what it feels like to have a woman belong to me. And because you’re the only person I wish to spend the holiday with.”

She regarded him in that open, honest way he had come to admire. “I didn’t want to call off the arrangement. I know you don’t think highly of me because I’m willing to do this, but…” She lifted a shoulder. “It’s just not something I could ever regret.”

His eyes snapped open. There was no hope for them and despite it all she continued to voice her affection for him. It was too much. Aidan closed a hand over her breast and cupped it gently. “I won’t regret it either, sweetheart.”

She bit her lips as he fondled her breast through the cotton sweater. Her gaze centered on his erection. “See how hard you make me? That’s all for you, Liya, because you’re the only woman in my mind.” He thumbed her moist bottom lip. So full and wide. His cock jerked in response. Her mouth looked so warm and inviting. Aidan ached to feel those lips drawing him in. It had been years since a woman fellated his cock. Sarah had disliked the act so he hadn’t forced the issue. He lowered his hand and felt like a heel. There was something oh so wrong about his willingness to take everything Liya offered. Aidan sighed. What did it matter? His leg was aching just about as much as his cock right now. He didn’t know of any woman in her right mind who would jump at the chance to take his prick into her mouth when he was limping like an old man desperately in need of a crutch.

“It’s your leg, isn’t it?” she asked, gliding off the ice and onto the patch of snow.

No use lying to her. He nodded. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this. I think I’ll just head inside and take a painkiller.” He wouldn’t. Painkillers had about the same potency as a Tic Tac at this point.

“I’ll return with you.” She bent to unlace the skates. After throwing on the boots, she flattened her palm to his leg. “No more hiding from me. I don’t care what your leg looks like. You experienced a devastating accident and by some miracle you survived. You’re here with me now. So I’m going to say this once, plain and straight. I don’t give a fuck what your leg looks like.”

“You have quite the little mouth on you, sweetheart.”

She raised a brow. “Well you’ve always known that. Just like I’ve always known how lonely you are. That’s why I didn’t want to give up on you.”

“Liya, please tell me you’re not doing this out of a misguided notion of self-sacrifice, to please me.”

She paused in front of him. “Would it be so wrong if I was doing it to please you? Sometimes a woman cares about a man enough to put aside thoughts of consequences and hurt.”

“Is that how you feel about me?”

“You’re just seeing that? I love the clinic and I love helping others, but, you have to know you’re the biggest reason I stayed on, even when my course load had become much more difficult.”

His cock went impossibly hard. Here was a woman laying it all out, making him seem like someone worthy of a second chance. Aidan coughed. “If we go inside together, I’m going to have to touch you. I can’t…I can’t be so close to you without…” His voice trailed. God, he was weak. “I need to be inside you.”

A low moan escaped her throat. As Liya looked up at him, her eyes softened. “Aidan. I want nothing more.”

The walk to the cabin seemed long and torturous. Each second lasted an hour and each minute an eternity. When they arrived at the cabin Aidan felt her arm on his back, ushering him inside.

“Come on. I know you’re in pain.”

He shook his head. Fucking old man. But, by the determination on her face, he didn’t want to disobey. He sat on the couch and watched as she flitted about the room.

“I’ll be right back,” she muttered, dashing around a corner. In less than a minute she was back in the living room, a small bottle in hand and a terrycloth towel in another.

“Dare I ask what you have planned for me?”

She giggled, and the sound rang so utterly feminine and charming. “Just sit still, Dr. Keegan. I’m in charge now.”

Aidan reclined his head on the couch. He grinned to himself. It felt good to have her flitting around in the cabin as if she owned the place. After another trip into the kitchen, she returned with a bowl in hand and placed it on the ground beside the other items. Aidan frowned as he studied her weapons of choice.
Dear God. Lavender Oil
.

Aidan bent forward and stroked her hair. He knew what she meant. He wondered if she knew how much it meant to him having another person, having her, lie beside him.

“Why aren’t you sleeping at nights?”

She tested a finger in the water then looked up from her position by his feet. “I had to get up a lot in the nights to give my brother his medication. It became a habit. There were times I was always afraid I’d fall asleep and something would happen to him and I wouldn’t be able to help. I never wanted to miss holding him when the time came.”

She inhaled deeply as if it cost her a lot to confide in him. She rolled the jeans upward. Her fingers grazed the hair on his leg. Aidan knew the instant her fingertips made contact with the jagged scar and puckered skin.

“I don’t care,” she repeated, reassuring him.

Aidan’s palms misted. Aside from his doctors and the physical therapist he had worked with for a few months after the surgery, no one else had seen the extent of the damage.

She peeled up the jeans and exposed the skin. Aidan felt the cool air hover across his leg, causing it to seize up and cramp even more. Liya dipped the towel into the bowl and flattened it over the scar, massaging in a circular motion. His head pushed back into the sofa. Immediately the heated water, glistening with drops of the lavender oil, began to dull the ache.

Aidan studied her in silence. How could she stand to look, much less touch the disfigured flesh? He had to stop her. Leaning forward, Aidan tried to lift her hand from his leg. “You don’t have to do this.”

Liya pushed away his hand, removed the towel and lowered her soft lips to the scar. “Three days, Aidan. Three days and I’m your woman. Let me do this for you.”

Replacing the damp towel, she swiped it up and down, dabbing on the wound while her other hand massaged the knots. The need to please her and return everything she was handing him rose deep from within. He wanted to treat Liya as she deserved to be treated. Which meant, she deserved way better than being with a man devoid of a heart fully able to love her. Aidan’s chest tightened.
He
wanted to be the one to hold her all the time. Make sure that she slept well at night. He wanted to give and promise her so many things, but he couldn’t promise to give her his entire heart, although Liya was worming her way into it day by day, and had been for almost a year. Aidan just hadn’t wanted to realize it.

“Liya?”

Her gaze flickered upward. The crimson sparks of the fireplace danced in her eyes and her rounded face appeared lovelier than ever. “There are so many men out there––men who are younger, handsome and unhindered by injuries. You’re a beautiful young lady, sweetheart. Why me?”

She wrung the towel. “Why not you? Like I said, I feel safe around you. I want you, but there’s something about you that draws me in, even if I know the outcome is impossible.”

Aidan groaned inwardly. He knew it was impossible also, but did she have to voice it at a time like this? “What are you going to do when you leave here? Are you going to find a boyfriend?”

She shrugged and sat up with her chin brushing against his kneecap. “Maybe. I’m tired of being alone. I’m not like you.”

Liya was correct. She had every right to find love. Aidan couldn’t restrain the bitterness. He looked down at her. She hadn’t even showered yet since they’d made love. His sperm, however small the amount he had accidentally ejaculated, was still inside her and here she was openly discussing her plans to be with another man. Sarah hadn’t been a virgin when they married and he hadn’t cared because it was unimportant and his love for her was blinding. But Liya— she was something new. She belonged to him and however much he was unable to return the sentiment, it killed him to know she would experience passion with someone else. Each and every night while he slept alone, Liya would be wrapped up in the arms of another man. Would he one day see her walk down the street with a big belly carrying some other man’s child?

Anger jackknifed into him, anger directed at himself. Aidan lashed out, “Are you going to let him know you lost your virginity to a man old enough to be your father?”

“Are you insulting me or yourself?” she asked with unnatural calmness.

The anger melted and drained out of him. Of course she would see through his self-derision. “Myself,” he relented. “I’m being an ass.”

“Does that mean you don’t want me to find love?”

Yes, only if it’s with me
. “I want you to be happy.”

“But happy by myself, just like you will be by yourself too, right?”

He gritted his teeth. When she put it that way, it sounded absurd.
He
sounded absurd. “You’ve never been in love before. You have no idea how it feels and the fear that comes with losing the ones you love— that it might happen all over again. I can’t go through that again.”

“Is that what you’re afraid of?” she asked, her small hand curved around the taut muscle in his leg. “You’re afraid to give your heart to me because you think you might lose me?”

His jaw clenched. This was no longer about his promise to Sarah. “Yes. Damn you.” He jerked her to stand before him. “But that won’t happen, because you promised you’d leave my heart intact. Isn’t that right, Liya? You promised I wouldn’t fall in love with you and God help me, you’d better keep your word.”

Fear skittered into her eyes. He could see a pulse beating rapidly in her neck. What the hell was wrong with him? Aidan loosened his hold. No woman had ever brought him to the point of violence. He pulled her close and nuzzled the tender skin below her nape. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She entwined her arms around his waist. “You didn’t scare me. You didn’t scare me at all. I just wish I could take your pain away. I’d do anything for you.”

“Liya, you shouldn’t say those things. I can’t offer you a future, sweetheart.”

Against his lips, she whispered, “Give me tonight and tomorrow. It’s Christmas.”

Aidan lifted her and laid her bare on the crimson Oriental rug in front of the stone fireplace. Aidan sat, allowing his hand to explore the delicate flesh at the junction of her thighs. The kindling crackled and flared, casting a golden orange radiance on her pussy. He could see every crevice and fold on her drenched sex, glistening in the light. Aidan stroked along her center. She shivered in response. Parting her thighs wider, he draped her leg above his shoulder and kissed the delicate area behind her knee. “You enjoy being petted, Liya?”

Nodding eagerly, she rolled her hips. She was so wet. Aidan flicked his finger across her clitoris. She shivered again and thrashed her head to the side. He couldn’t resist. Aidan lowered his head and brushed his lips on the succulent bud.

A low gasp echoed in the room. She hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t either. Tasting Liya was going to prove to be a huge mistake. He peered upward and drank her in. His angel. How could he deny her this pleasure?

“Kiss it again, Aidan.”

Aidan wedged her legs apart until it was wide enough to see the folds separating. God, she was beautiful down there. His cock swelled and Aidan ran his hand along the protrusion. It was so tempting to push her back and shove his prick in to the hilt. So tempting to actually spill his seed inside her pussy. Give her everything. His throat seized. No way. He would never do that to Liya. He looked down at her soft yet flat stomach. Yes, it would definitely kill him if he got her pregnant and had to lose her and the baby. Not once did he think something like that would happen to him. If it could happen once, why not twice?

Liya focused on him. “I’m losing you again, aren’t I?” She attempted to bring her legs together.

He held her ankles, stilling her movement. “Don’t ever do that.” Aidan hoisted her leg higher, until her toes dangled over his shoulder, and reveled in the sight of her pussy. He was dying to get a taste of it.

Lowering his head, he dove in and tongued her clit. Moisture trickled from her pussy onto his lips. Heaven help him, she was sweet. Sweeter than he ever thought a woman could taste. A log sizzled in the fireplace, casting a shadow against the wall as Aidan placed his hand beneath her lush ass and lifted her to his mouth, licking between her folds. He heard her delightful squeals and it went straight to his heart. His tongue delved deeper, thrusting into the narrow slit until tiny tremors held her deep in throes.

When the tremors subsided, Aidan shrugged out of his clothes. He wanted the intimacy of skin touching skin. He straddled her waist and mounted her, pushing the enflamed tip in her slickened vulva. “I need you right now.”