Christmas and Forever (7 page)

“This is my cabin.”

Oh God. She almost staggered. “You’re not lying?” He remained stoic. Embarrassment crept high up her neck. She flustered, suddenly feeling out of place and unwelcomed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. When he invited me I asked if you’d be coming. He never hinted that the cabin belonged to you. I assumed this was his place.”

“The cabin belongs to me and Sa—”

“And Sarah,” she finished for him. He blinked as if he hadn’t realized what he was on the verge of revealing. She laughed it off. Better that than to let him know it wounded her pride that she was never in the forefront of his mind. “I get it, Aidan. Like I said, I thought this was Dr. Northrop’s cabin and that the others would be here. No harm done, right?” She swung over to the car, wishing nothing more than to leave him in peace.

“I built this for her,” he said quietly. “For us. It was finished a month before the accident.” He stared into her eyes. “It was supposed to be a new start for us after we found out about the pregnancy.”

Liya nodded. She couldn’t fault him for holding on to his memories. She guarded the memories of her parents and brother fiercely. Nothing would ever delete those precious people from her heart or mind.

“Are you spending Christmas here? What about your in-laws?”

His lips quirked, giving him a boyish appearance. “They’ll be fine without me this year.”

“All right. I’m gonna leave now.” She issued him a rueful smile. “I’m sorry you came here and saw me.” He stood beside her as she rested her hand against the car door. Taking in a tremulous breath, Liya turned to him. She hoped her words would give him some peace. “If I could find a way to give her back to you, I would. I swear it, Aidan. I know that might not mean much to you at this point, but I want you to know I get it. You don’t have any space left in your heart.”

His lids lowered as he stalked closer. “And if I did? What if I wanted to make space for someone else, do you think it’s that easy? Who would want to be with me?”

He was testing her. She held his gaze. “I would. I’d want to be with you, Aidan Keegan. I know the man who exists beneath the sadness.”

“Do you feel sorry for me, Liya? Are you thinking of ways to bring some Christmas joy into an old man’s heart?”

“Don’t diminish my feelings for you.”

“I never should have hired you,” Aidan confessed, his voice taking on a raspy edge. “I should have slammed the door in your face and told you to stay the hell away from the clinic.”

Liya folded her arms. “But you didn’t.”

“Why are you making this so damn hard? I came here to find some peace. You walked out of the clinic. I tried to call you today and I thought––” He paused and lowered his head, letting out a loud whoosh of air before lifting his head. Stormy eyes greeted her. “Damn it, Liya, I thought it was the last time I would see you.”

Liya gazed at him. “You care? Would it bother you if we never saw each other again?” All she needed was an affirmation from him. Something to show he cared as much as she did.

“I care. God help me, I shouldn’t, but I do.”

Liya hedged closer, seizing the moment. “Do you want to spend this holiday alone, Aidan?”

His eyes held hers captive, pain as harrowing as the blade of a sledgehammer, slicing into her. It all became clear to her. Aidan was a man fighting an internal battle. He didn’t want to be alone, but was terrified of starting over.

Slowly, he shook his head. The guilt and confusion flickering across his face caused her chest to wheeze in anguish. Aidan thought he was weak for allowing himself to feel again. Liya swallowed back the nerves and hurt feelings. She cared too much about him to let him suffer alone, even if it meant wearing her heart on her sleeve and relinquishing her pride. “Three days,” she stated. “We have the weekend together. For three days, Aidan. Let’s pretend it’s just us. No past. Nothing between us. I won’t ask for a commitment from you and you won’t do the same to me. After that, I’ll walk away.”

She could see the rise and fall of his chest as he contemplated. “You don’t know what you’re suggesting.”

“I do,” she beseeched, placing a hand on his chest. “Let me take care of you. We’ll take care of each other for these three days, and then you’ll go back to your life and I’ll return to mine. No guilt, Aidan. It’s not like there’s a chance of you losing your heart to me. Sarah will still be your number one.”

“It’s not fair to you…” Anticipation dripped from Aidan’s words. He wanted this as much as she did. Needed it.

Liya locked her eyes with his, hoping Aidan could see the honesty and candor within. “I don’t want to spend the holiday alone. We’re two adults, right? I just want to pretend for a little bit how it could have been between us. I know you do, too. You can’t lie to me about that. I know what’s deep inside you, beneath all those layers.”

He glanced at her hand on his chest. “I never realized how selfish I was until this moment.” Touching his forehead to hers, he whispered, “I want that so much, sweetheart. God help me, Liya. I don’t want to be alone either.”

Liya felt his body relax into her touch. Carefully, she weaved her arms around his waist and held him close. “We don’t have to be. It’ll be just you and me. Aidan and Liya. Just three days and then you can return your heart to her.”

His lips brushed across her cheek and she felt his warm breath against her ear like a lover’s caress. “Don’t make me lose my heart to you, Liya. I can’t do that, sweetheart. Please don’t make me lose my heart.”

Her heart ached for him. Pangs of jealousy stabbed at her, seeing the devotion he had for Sarah. What it must have felt like to be loved by him. She stroked her fingertips to his jaw. “I won’t take it from you. That much I can promise you.”
I want you to give it to me willingly
.

Aidan cupped her chin and swept his lips against her mouth. “Welcome to my cabin.”

Jerking back her head, she laughed, joyous tears clinging to her lashes. Finally, they were just a man and a woman––nothing more, nothing less. “Was the kiss a part of the welcome?”

Aidan clasped her tighter to his frame. “Unplanned, but something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” He regarded her in earnest. “Are you a hundred percent sure about this?” Was that a tremor in his voice? Liya gazed up at him. Aidan was dead wrong. What she felt for him had nothing to do with pity or sympathy. And while her actions were meant to bring him a measure of happiness, her moves were not entirely unselfish. She was in love with Aidan Keegan and if she wouldn’t be allowed to have him forever, then these precious few days would remain with her long after they went their separate ways.

A fist clamped and squeezed around her heart. Although he said what she wanted to hear, it stung nonetheless that he made sure to emphasize that it would only be for Christmas.

She padlocked it away deep in the recesses of her mind. It was what she wanted, after all. “All right.” She hooked her arm through his. “You can give me the grand tour later on.” Liya craned her neck and looked to the left as they hedged to the entrance, bags in hand. Beyond an expanse of pine trees, she could barely make out what appeared to be a pond covered in ice. “Does all of this belong to you?” She grinned. “If it does, then I guess surgeons must really be rolling in it, huh?”

A shadow crossed Aidan’s face. “I’m not a surgeon anymore. You know that. And to answer your question, just about everything you can see encompasses the property.”

“If you’re not a surgeon, then what on Earth are you doing teaching those students and how could they leave you in charge of an entire department?” He held the door open and placed her bag alongside his on the floor. “This isn’t a joke.”

“I wasn’t joking,” she countered. “I’m sure you miss practicing what you love, but you have to realize the amount of people you’re helping. The amount that you’ve helped already.”

Kicking the door shut, Aidan eyed her with undisguised interest. “What about you, Liya? Is this your way of helping, doing your part for mankind? How many men have you made this offer to?” His face seemed harsh, unforgiving. If his insinuation weren’t so laughable, she would be insulted…except for the hope that the scent she detected in the air was the aromatic perfume of jealousy. Aidan Keegan, jealous of non-existent liaisons? She really hoped so.

“How many do you think?” Liya was hardly the seductress. If not for her burgeoning love for him, she never would have issued such a brazen invitation, especially when there was the slight fear that Aidan might not appreciate, for lack of a better term, her extra pounds. But, Aidan did seem to need her as much as she needed him, and for now, that was more than enough to keep Liya’s feminine insecurities at bay. She was not going to back down, or back away from him.

“I’d rather remain in the dark,” he muttered.

“I’ve never been with anyone,” Liya confessed. “I’ve told you that I spent the last couple of years caring for my brother. After he passed away, I registered for my first year at Vermont State. Between work and college, there was never any time or anyone I considered special enough.”

His face closed up. Aidan shook his head as if in afterthought. “All this does is let me know what we’re about to do is wrong. You need to wait for the right man, sweetheart— someone who is going to cherish you and give you his entire heart. Everything you deserve. There’s nothing special about me. I’m just a selfish bastard willing to take advantage of you.”

Vehemently, she shook her head. Liya stood on the balls of her feet and murmured against his lips. “I’m selfish too.” She circled an arm around his waist. “This will work. I promised I wouldn’t take your heart, remember? I won’t. I swear to you, I won’t. We can make love the entire time, get it out of our systems. I won’t ever stop by the clinic again, Aidan. We won’t have to see each other.”

Aidan embraced her as if he was afraid to let go and buried his face in the hollow of her neck. “Oh God, Liya. I can’t do this anymore, sweetheart. I can’t do it alone.”

Her eyes widened and her heart quivered. Instead of pushing her away, what she feared he would have done, Aidan lifted her in his arms. Cradling her like a baby, he strode down the hallway, footsteps unhurried. Once inside the bedroom, he nestled her in the middle of the bed then stepped away. Fully clothed and on her back, Liya studied the war raging in Aidan’s features. Her gaze drifted lower to the evidence of his arousal, a massive erection pressing against his jeans.

“Aidan?” She raised her hips and wriggled out of the jeans, then slid her thighs open, praying he would see the move as an invitation to come closer to her. His eyes settled between her legs, with nothing but simple cotton underwear shielding her from his view. She could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he reached for the belt buckle then stopped. He dropped his hands to the sides.

Liya swept her tongue across her lips. She couldn’t take her eyes off the sight of him and the erection so thick and hard straining for release from those pants. How could he not be in pain from it? Worse, didn’t Aidan know how badly she wanted to feel his cock thrusting within her wet heat? The man was going to be his own downfall. Hell if she was going to lie back and allow him to deny them both.

She straightened on the bed. Back arched, Liya crawled on her knees in front of him. Her fingers teased along his groin. “Is it painful?” she asked softly, noting the way he held himself rigid, sucking in a breath. “How long has it been?” She petted him through the fabric, stroking gently with the back of her hand. “Please, Aidan, how long has it been since you’ve allowed yourself to feel a woman’s touch, to have someone lay next to you and keep you warm?”

A groan escaped him as he held her wrist and moved it faster on his shaft. When he answered, it was as if the answer had been ripped from him. “Forever.” He closed his eyes and jerked his hips. “It’s been forever, sweetheart.”

The agony in his voice was palpable, touching her very soul. She wanted to know more. Wanted to know everything about Aidan and how to please him physically and emotionally. Liya nibbled her lower lip. “I want to see you.” She fiddled with the button on his jeans.

A fleeting look of panic took a hold of him. He glanced downward at his left leg, the injured leg. Of course, Aidan was worried she would see the visual extent of his injury. “It’s all right. You won’t have to let me see your leg until you’re ready,” she soothed. “Let me see you, Aidan.” She popped open the button and begged him once more. “Please, let me see you?”

Chapter Six

“I want to see you, too.” Aidan couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. But once they had gotten into the bedroom and he’d laid her on the bed with her legs sprawled, his cock, already rock-hard, quickly turned to lead. Kneeling before him, her smooth back was straightened and neck elongated to look at him. He could see the telltale signs of her nervousness. Her small hands were trembling against the front of his pants. He hadn’t expected that, yet it delighted him like nothing else. She peeled her sweater overhead, allowing it to fall to the side of the bed. Slowly, Liya lifted her head, masses of dark curls swaying lightly from the subtle motion, and met him with a smoldering gaze. Aidan swallowed hard, his eyes riveted to the sight of her hands, reaching around the expanse of her back. Oh God, she was going to bare her breasts to him. Blood coursed rampant through his prick. She freed the hook. Her breasts. Sweet Jesus. Air constricted in his throat, making it difficult for Aidan to breathe. Her breasts were the loveliest pair of tits he had ever had laid eyes on. Bronze-shaded, they were a smidgen lighter than the rest of her body. The areola looked much darker and the nipples were so damn thick, he wanted to bury his face there and suckle her like a newborn baby. Aidan flexed his hips and drew in a ragged breath. It was the only thing he could do to offset the ache in his groin and balls. It wasn’t working. He took in another eyeful of her breasts.