Authors: Deborah Bladon
"Do you have a boyfriend?" He leans in closer as the words leave his lips.
I don't speak. I only shake my head from side-to-side.
I flinch as his index finger finds my chin. "Do you have a lover?"
A pink blush races through my skin. I've never had a lover. I've made love but those men weren't lovers. "No," I murmur under my breath.
"No?" he questions as his lips hover over mine.
"No." I repeat back wanting to grab the back of his head with my hand so I can taste his breath.
"Have you ever had a lover?" The hand on my waist traces a path from my hipbone down my thigh. I'm already wet. My panties are so wet just from being this close to him. I can't let him feel me there.
"Yes." I push back into the door breaking the contact between his hand and my leg.
He counters by taking a step closer to me. I can sense the strength of his chest pressed against mine. He's aroused. I can feel his hardness through his pants. I want to push the door open and pull him into my bed and into my body.
"You want to kiss me, don't you?" His lips are so close to mine. All I have to do is lean forward and claim them with my own.
"I need to go inside." I reach back with my right hand and clench the doorknob.
His hand instinctively covers mine. "You're scared of me." His tone is stern and composed.
"I'm not." I shake my head as I try to turn my hand to no avail. "I'm not scared."
"I'm going to kiss you." I jolt when I feel his lips brush briefly against mine. "And I'm going to have you in my bed."
"No," I whisper knowing that the word betrays what my body is feeling. "You're not."
"I will." He pushes his body closer to mine and I can feel the outline of his cock. It's large. It's hard. It's all I want. "If not tonight, soon."
I shiver as I try to push myself further away from him. The resistance of the door is forcing my body further into his. "No," I repeat. "I can't."
"You can't?" I feel a small chuckle course through him. "Or you won't?"
"I can't." I say as I finally manage the strength to twist the doorknob in my hand. I stumble backwards as the door swings open. "I can't."
"Sadie." He reaches out to grab me as I almost tumble off my heels. "Stop. Wait."
"I'm not like all of them." My throat tightens as I speak. "I don't do that."
"Sadie." His voice is softer now. I know he wants me to look at him. I can't. I won't.
"I don't. Go find someone else," I say quietly as I pull free of his hand and slam the door.
Chapter 8
"Tell me you're fucking kidding me." Alexa pops a piece of orange into her mouth.
"Don't swear." I wave my index finger in the air across the dining room table. "Maria hates swearing."
"Newsflash, Maria," she screams in the direction of the kitchen. "Sadie is an adult now."
"Shut up." I bark back at her. "Maria is an angel. Don't tease her like that."
"Whatever." She picks up a strawberry and dips it in the yogurt cup on her plate before she eats it. "You're saying that Hunter Reynolds wants to do you?"
"I guess?" I shrug my shoulders.
"You guess?" She waves her fork in the air. "There is no guessing, Sadie. Did the man say he wants to fuck you or not?"
"He said he wants me in his bed," I say slowly wanting to repeat what Hunter said word-for-word.
"Holy shit," she playfully fans herself. "He's so hot and he wants you. When are you going to do him?"
"Never." I spit back at her. I'm slightly annoyed that she's not seeing the magnitude of what happened to me last night. Why can't she understand the emotional pain I'm in? A man, a real man finally wants me and it's more than likely that he's interested in nothing beyond me warning his bed for a night before he moves onto someone else. Besides that fact, the moment he'd get a glimpse of the enormous scar on my chest, he'd be pushing me out the door.
"What?" She's on her feet now. "Are you crazy? Men like that don't come along every day?"
I close my eyes as I work to steel my breath. "Alexa. You know I can't sleep with him." I tilt my head as I look at her lowering herself back into her chair.
"Don't say that." She reaches across the table to cradle my hand in hers. "Not all men are going to run away screaming because you have a scar, Sadie."
I smile at her attempt to reassure me. She's the only person who knows how things ended with Will and I. She held me when I cried over his rejection. She knows exactly how I feel about my scar. "I can't risk it again."
"You don't know how he'll react until he sees it."
The level of masked reassurance in her tone is matched only by the doubt in my mind. "He's gorgeous. He can have any woman he wants. He's not going to want me anymore if he sees the scar."
"I think you're selling yourself short." She presses on, "I'd give him a chance. You've got nothing to lose."
She's wrong and I want to point it out to her. I have everything to lose. I'm on track right now to fulfill my dreams. I want to honor the person whose heart is beating in my chest. I can't do that if I'm sleeping with a random guy. My heart gets too invested and I'll spend weeks crying about him when he moves on to the next girl. I won't risk that.
"Give him a chance." She covers another piece of strawberry in yogurt. "If you don't, I might," she teases.
"Speaking of you, how was Danny?" I need a change in subject and her sexual escapades last night are just what she needs to focus on to get her mind off Hunter and me.
"Not like I remember him." She pushes her empty plate to the corner of the table. "I'd give him a D minus."
I burst out laughing. "That's why you're studying to be a teacher. You've got that grading thing locked up tight."
She giggles so hard so almost spits out the orange juice she just sipped. "Funny for you. Not funny for me. No orgasm for Alexa last night."
I laugh even harder as Maria winces at that statement as she walks into the room.
***
"You're a lifesaver, Sadie." Josephine pulls her arm around my shoulder. "Thanks for coming in on such short notice."
"It's not a problem," I lie. It was a problem. I had planned on staying in this dreary Sunday evening and watching a movie. When Alexa bailed on her shift after calling another guy in her quest for sexual fulfillment, I was the go-to gal. I couldn't say no when she asked me to cover for her. I could never say no to her. That's what best friends were for.
"It's been pretty quiet all day." She grabs her purse from beneath the counter before walking towards the entrance. "Lock up and I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Bright and early," I call to her as the glass door shuts behind her.
I spend the next hours busying myself with making beverages for the few customers who do stream in amid the rainstorm that is currently pelting the city. Between that and finishing up next week's schedule time flies and soon it's just fifteen short minutes until closing.
"I'll have a mocha latte." I recognize the smooth tone of his voice before I turn around to face him.
"Hunter," I whisper his name as I punch in the order. He hands me a twenty-dollar bill and I make change, never once looking up to meet his gaze.
"Keep it." He motions with his hand towards the tip jar and I push the few bills and coins into it before turning to make his order. We stand in silence while I take my time preparing the latte, hoping that he'll be taking it to go. I need him to walk out of here as soon as I hand him the paper cup.
"Here you go." I try to sound gleeful. Instead it translates to overly enthusiastic which makes me feel even more humiliation.
"You're almost done, right?" I catch a glimpse of him gazing at his watch out of the corner of my eye.
"I need to clean up after closing." It's not a lie. I do have a few minutes of tidying before I can take off. Tonight, I may stretch that to a few hours to avoid him.
"I'll wait." He settles into one of the empty booths that overlooks the parking lot.
"No customers inside after closing." I walk past him to hold open the front door.
He stands and walks quietly to the door. "I'll be in my car." He motions towards the almost empty lot at a sleek, black Mercedes C Class. "I'll drive you home."
"No." I shake my head slightly. "I'll be here for a bit. Maybe we can talk another day?"
"I'll be in my car," he repeats without emotion as he bolts into the rain.
I lock the door behind him and immediately reach for my phone. I text Alexa telling her it's an emergency and I need her advice pronto. I get to work cleaning the counters and tables. I store all the perishables in the refrigerator in the back and prep everything that is needed for me when I arrive back for my usual brisk Monday morning shift. I glance at my phone and there's no response. "Dammit," I whisper under my breath. In a few minutes I'm going to be sitting in Hunter Reynolds’s car without a clue about what to do.
Chapter 9
I pull the heavy glass door shut as I immediately feel the rain pelting down on me. The awning over the shop is doing very little to protect me from the downpour. I'm going to look like a pathetic drowned rat before I even get to his car.
I turn towards the lot and I almost run face first into his chest. He's raced over to get me, an umbrella above us. I smile at the sweet gesture as I allow him to guide me through the torrent and into the dry tranquility of his car.
"That's a lot of rain," he mumbles as he closes the car door behind him after helping me settle into my seat next to him.
"Yes." I offer. I feel my heart racing. Alexa's words taunting me to just go for it and sleep with Hunter are ringing in my ears. Maybe she's right. Looking at him now, with moisture pooling on his top lip, his hair disheveled and his skin glistening, I'm so tempted.
"What happened last night?" He doesn't waste any time jumping into the subject of the elephant in the room or in our case, the car.
"I'm not interested in a one night stand," I say the words calmly, trying to temper my racing pulse.
"Do you think that's what I want?" he asks. His eyebrow pops up in unison with the question.
"I think that's what you generally do." I want to be diplomatic but he was the one who showed up on my doorstep the other night looking for the number of a woman he just met a few hours earlier.
"Why would you think that?"
"You wanted Petra's number after the party." I gaze out the window, playing the next words I want to say over and over in my mind. They have to come out right. "I assume it was so you two could hook up."
"She's beautiful." His words bite. It's an obvious statement but one I don't need to hear.
"Exactly," I counter. "You do that, don't you? Have sex with one beautiful woman after another?"
"I try to get some sleep in between." He laughs.
I cringe. He didn't disagree with the statement. "That's not what my life is about," I say quietly.
"What is your life about?" He rests his hand on my knee and I flinch from the contact.
"School and work," I blurt out. "Those things are what I care about."
"You're on semester break right now." His hand traces a faint path along my knee.
I feel my breathing stall at his touch. "Why are you doing this? I'm not your type."
His hand drops to the seat. I can hear his breathing change. "What's my type?"
"Petra. Alexa. Someone beautiful. Not me." I look at his face. I want him to see that I'm serious. I know I'm not the type of woman he generally pursues.
"You're very beautiful." He meets my gaze and I see something within his eyes. "You're different."
"I don't want to be another conquest." I reach for the handle of the door. "Men like you don't pay attention to girls like me."
"What does that mean?" His eyes are glued to my hand. I jump slightly when I hear the unmistakable click of the car doors locking.
I try desperately to mask the panic I feel. "Please don't lock the doors," I whisper. "I don't even know you."
I catch my breath again when I hear the doors unlock.
"What do you want to know about me?" He pulls his hand away from my knee and leans back in his seat so he's almost facing me directly.
"Anything," I murmur. "I don't know anything about you."
"I'm twenty-six. I split my time between Boston and New York." He sighs before he continues, "I travel way more than I'd like for my job. I work too much."
I smile at the information. He's twenty-six. He's five years older than me. He seems so much older. Maybe I just feel that much younger than him because he's different than any other man I've ever been around. He's cultured, he's sophisticated and he's now showing me a side of him I didn't realize was there before.
"Tell me more about you." He lightly touches my hand.
I don't pull back. I adore his touch. I like the way it makes me feel inside. "You know a lot about me already." I lift the corner of my mouth in a sly smile. "I'm twenty-one. I go to work and school."
"That's it?" He cups his hand over mine now. "No exciting stories of your past to share."
I instinctively reach for my chest with my other hand. It's a reflex response when I feel I'm exposing too much. My scar reminds me that I have to be protective of myself and of the person who gave me my life back. "Nothing really," I whisper.
"Why do I scare you?" His words are gentle. The tone of his voice controlled. "You were shaking last night when I wanted to kiss you."
I hold my breath for a second. "I've never been with anyone like you."
"Anyone like me?" he asks as he leans closer to me now.
"Yes." I stare at him, trying to pull some understanding from inside of him. "I'm not very experienced."
"You don't sleep with men you just meet, do you?" His breath traces a path across my cheek. I don't pull back this time. I won't. I can't. I don't want to.
I shake my head slightly. "I don't."
"Do you kiss men you just met?" His lips taunt me. They're now hovering so close to mine.
I don't respond. I can't find my voice. All I want is to feel. I lean in as his hand cradles my cheek and his finger caresses my skin. I want his kiss. I want to know what it's like to feel those soft, beautiful lips claim mine. I stare at his eyes as they gently close, the long lashes fluttering shut. I run my tongue along my lips just as his brush against mine. I'm lost in that moment. My hand grabs the back of his head, pulling his mouth into mine.