Chapter 20
“Urges aren't the problem. You get in trouble when you act on them.”
â
Lawson Kerry
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“Is it just me or are you on information overload?” asked Lawson as the seminar on best teaching practices that she and Mark were attending broke for lunch.
“Hey, at least it's a day away from the classroom, right?”
“I actually miss the little troublemakers. I hate that we got here so late. It was kind of hard to see from the back of the auditorium.”
“Well, we can stand here and contemplate the mysteries of C.P. time, or we can grab some lunch. Take your pick.”
Lawson zipped her bag. “I'm not really hungry. You can go on without me.”
“Do you mind if I tag along with you? I'd much rather hang out with a beautiful woman than hang out by myself for the next hour and a half.”
Lawson chuckled. “You wouldn't be saying that if you knew where I was going.”
“Unless it's to hell in a handbasket, I'm game.”
“Not quite. Since we are downtown, I wanted to look at some wedding dresses.”
Mark playfully puffed out his chest and tugged on his pants. “I think I'm secure enough in my manhood to handle that. Plus, there are bound to be some single women in there looking for bridesmaids' dresses, right?”
“I didn't think of that. You'd have to be a complete loser not to be able to walk out with at least one phone number.”
Mark held the door open for her. “Well, I guess we're about to find out whether or not I'm a loser.”
“A good-looking guy like you?” teased Lawson. “Not a chance!”
“So, she thinks I'm good-looking,” stated Mark, blushing.
“Well, I'm sure she's not the first person to say that,” said Lawson, playing along.
“First one in a while,” said Mark as they walked out. “Well, the first one whose opinion I actually care about.”
Lawson looked down at her feet as they continued their stroll. “Why would my opinion matter to you?”
Mark seemed embarrassed. “I don't know. If I had to guess, I might think it was because I still had a crush on you.”
“It was hardly a crush, Mark. More like a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.”
“I prefer to think of it as an instant attraction that thrust us both into the throes of passion.”
“That must be why you never called,” Lawson added sarcastically.
“I wanted to call,” confessed Mark, “but I was scared.”
“Scared of little ol' me?” They stopped at a red crossing signal.
“Scared of the way I felt around you. I know we were young, but the chemistry between us was pretty intense.”
Her pulse quickened when she thought back to that night. “The light's green,” she observed, relieved for the distraction. “The bridal shop is just across the street.”
Mark looked in both directions. “Well, let's make a run for it. I don't want to be the one having to explain to the boss why you were arrested for jaywalking.” Without thinking, he reached for Lawson's hand as they dashed across the street. Once safely on the other side of the street, they looked down at their entwined fingers at the same time. Mark quickly released her hand. “See, I got you here in one piece.”
“Thanks.” Lawson approached the store's entrance. “Are you coming in?”
“I guess so. I don't see anybody I know. I won't have to deny being here later.”
“Have you ever been in one of these before?” asked Lawson after they walked in.
“No, I never had a reason to go into a bridal store . . . until now.”
Lawson was oblivious to Mark staring at her. “These dresses are all so beautiful!” she exclaimed, admiring the intricate beadwork on one of the wedding gowns. She pressed a form-fitting strapless gown against her torso. “You think an up-do will be okay for this gown?”
Mark frowned. “Do I look like an extra from
Queer Eye
? How should I know?”
“What happened to being secure in your manhood?” She rolled her eyes and placed the gown back on the rack. “Considering that you're the one who insisted on coming, the least you could do is offer a valid opinion.”
“I don't see the point of buying a dress if you don't have a wedding date.”
“That is not the opinion I wanted, and we're setting the date very soon. He wants to get married in January, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for next fall.”
“What makes you think I won't have swept you off your feet by then?” asked Mark good-naturedly. “You might decide you want that ol' thing back!”
“Very funny.” Lawson held up a beaded gown. “Oh, this one is gorgeous!”
“Are you sure you should be wearing white?”
“I have just as much right to wear it as your baby's mama does.” She draped the dress over her arm.
“If you're likening yourself to Tasha, you ought to be wearing red.”
Lawson laughed. “I still can't believe that I'm out here picking out wedding dresses with the guy who took my virginity.”
He sidled up next to her. “I don't recall having to
take
anything, it was given to me. You were a
very
willing participant, remember?”
Lawson sighed. “Ah, to be young and full of hormones and questionable judgment.” She opened the dressing room door. “I want to try this dress on, and you are not to go anywhere, understand?” issued Lawson and shut the door behind her.
“The least you could do is let me in,” he teased.
“You saw all you were going to see fourteen years ago.”
“You sure you don't need any hooks fastened or zippers zipped?”
“Positive.”
Minutes later, the door creaked opened, and Lawson emerged in a strapless gown with a fitted bodice and a full skirt. “How does it look?” Mark's mouth dropped, and she panicked. “What? What's wrong with it? It's too much, isn't it? You're thinking I don't have the height to pull this look off, aren't you?”
Mark blinked a couple of times. “Well,
I'm
thinking about pulling it off,” he murmured. “You look great, like . . . wow.”
She faced the full-length mirror and beamed. “You think Garrett'll like it?”
“If he has eyes, he will. That's the one,” he asserted, gazing at her as if he were seeing Lawson for the first time
Lawson squinted her eyes and swayed in the mirror. The thick folds of her dress rustled whenever she moved. “You think so?”
An attendant approached them and spread the train of the dress onto the floor. “You're stunning in that,” she enthused. “Here, try this.” She pinned a tiara with a veil attached to it onto Lawson's head. “It's perfect!”
Mark's eyes were glued to Lawson. “You're breathtaking. I don't think I've ever seen any woman look more beautiful than you do right now.”
“It looks like somebody couldn't wait until the wedding day,” noted the attendant to Mark. “She's going to make you a beautiful bride.” Mark grinned but didn't correct her. The attendant smiled and moved to assist someone else.
Lawson whirled around and placed her hands on her hips. “Mark, why did you let that woman think I was marrying you?”
“You didn't set her straight either.”
Lawson gazed at her profile. “The dress is lovely, isn't it? But I probably shouldn't get my hopes up. Garrett may never speak to me again once he sees the pricetag. He's too practical to spend this kind of money on anything, especially a dress that I'm just going to wear for a couple of hours. This indulgence is going to take a huge chunk out of our wedding budget.”
“Then tell him you got it on sale. I doubt that he'll call up here to verify it.”
She thought for a moment. “I suppose you're right.” She looked at her reflection again. “I don't like lying to him, but I do want this dress.”
“You should get it. It's you all the way.”
“I better take it off before they have to pry me out of it.” Lawson glanced back at Mark, who was still staring at her. “What?”
“Nothing . . . I just can't believe it's you, that's all.”
“If this dress can have that kind of effect on a man, I better get over to that cash register quick!” She hiked up the dress to step down.
“Wait!” Mark stepped out in front of her and lifted the veil from her face. “I just wanted to see you one more time. Your fiancé is a lucky man.”
“Rest assured, I remind him of that all the time,” Lawson added smugly.
Mark thought for a second. “I bet you haven't even been practicing, have you?”
She frowned. “Practicing for what?”
“What do you mean, practicing for what?” Mark pretended to be shocked and reached for her hand. “Didn't you know that the bride's first lover is supposed to be the one who rehearses the first wedding dance with her?” He swept her into his arms.
“Isn't the bride's first lover supposed to be the actual groom?”
“In theory. Then again, the bride's first lover and groom may end up being one in the same.” He pulled her closer. “I bet there's something else you didn't know.”
“And what's that?” she asked, giggling as he goaded her into dancing with him.
“I bet you didn't know that this platform right here doubles as a time machine.”
“Is that right?” They swayed along with the music that could only be heard by the two of them.
“Yep. You see, it may look like we're dancing in the middle of a bridal shop, but we've actually leapt back into the ninetiesâspecifically, graduation night at Manny's basement party.” Lawson laughed out loud as he began singing in her ear. “
So you're having my baby, and it means so much to me
. . .”
“You're silly,” said Lawson, but pretended with him nevertheless.
“I must be. I don't know what I was thinking all those years ago,” admitted Mark, holding the small of her back. “I can't believe I didn't see what a catch you were.”
“Mark, we were just kids. Even if we'd gotten together, I'm sure we would have screwed it up way before now. Things happen for a reason and work out the way they're supposed to.”
Mark stopped dancing and lifted Lawson's chin toward him. “If that's the case, then why do I have such a strong urge to kiss another man's fiancée?”
Her heart fluttered. She was not sure of what to make of her feelings or Mark's words. “Urges aren't the problem,” she said. “You get in trouble when you try to act on them.”
“Well, what would you do if I acted on it? On second thought,”âhe leaned in to kiss herâ“I'm sure you can show me better than you can tell me.”
Lawson shied away from him before his lips made contact with hers. “I think your time would be better spent trying to find us a good seat in the auditorium.”
“Are you sure?” gambled Mark, not quite ready to give up his pursuit.
She nodded. “We work together, Mark. I'm trying to keep it ethical. Even if I wasn't, I would never do anything to hurt or betray Garrett. He's been too good to my son and me.”
“Gratitude is no reason to stay committed to someone, especially when there's a man standing in front of you who would do anything to have another shot with you.”
“My feelings for Garrett run much deeper than just gratitude.”
He seized her hand. “But are you one hundred percent sure you want to marry this guy?”
“Do you know how much money I'm about to drop on this dress? If I wasn't serious before, I am now,” she answered, attempting to lighten the mood.
“So, you won't even consider giving me another chance?”
She let go of his hand. “Mark, I'm going to marry Garrett.”
“Okay. You're engaged, not married. Nothing is official yet.”
“I love himâthat much
is
official.”
Mark nodded and heaved a sigh. “I take it that there's no chance for us to turn back the hands of time, huh? I mean, we are in this time machine, after all.”
She shook her head. “I'm in love, Mark.”
They were both silent for a moment, thinking of what could have been, but focusing on what was. “Like I said before, Garrett is a lucky man.” He touched her cheek. “I guess I'll have to look you up next lifetime.”