God Save the Queen (18 page)

             
We approached a little clearing in the middle of the woods that was comprised of about five hundred square feet of open grass and, in the middle, a small lake about the size of a football field. The water was a beautiful azure blue, and the bottom was lined with flat rocks. Across the lake there was a large group of rocks that formed a cliff from which I imagined the villagers dived to cool off on a hot day. There were narrow and very precarious-looking stairs cut into the rock so that one could walk up to the top and jump into the lake.

             
I felt the reins slip out of my hands as the horses ran over to eat some of the higher grass that grew on the other side of the lake. I glanced over at Kevin and saw that he was just as entranced as I was. Then he caught my eye and we both looked up at the cliff.

“Should we?” he asked.

“Could we?” I asked, slightly more skeptical. I was not a fan of heights, so this would be a challenge.

             
We undressed down to our bathing suits as fast as we could, and then dashed around the lake to the cliff side. The next thing I knew, I was climbing up the side of the cliff, Kevin a few feet above me. I was careful not to let go of the flimsy-looking railing, knowing there was a long fall. I also tried not to look down so I wouldn’t chicken out. When I reached the top, I saw Kevin standing looking over the edge, his face as pale as a ghost.

             
I laughed and said, “You’re not afraid are you? I mean, it’s just a jump.”

             
Kevin looked back and grimaced. “Yeah, it’s a pretty high jump. What if I slip and hit the rocks or something?”

             
“You won’t, not if you jump at this spot here. And besides, it’s only water. I’ll save you if I have to.”

             
“All right.” He shrugged, then lifted his arm to the sky as though holding a wine cup. “To our love lives.” Then he took a step and jumped off the side.

             
I let out a scream before hearing a splash of the water. I ran over to the edge of the cliff and crouched down to look. I saw the ripple of where Kevin had landed but I didn’t see him! The bubbles were still covering the spot where he landed.

             
“Kevin!” I shouted, leaning over as far as I could. “Kevin!”

             
Then the bubbles subsided and I saw that not even his body was to be seen. I could only see the bottom of the pool. Kevin simply wasn’t there.

             
“Kevin!” I shouted, though more from fear than irritation. “This isn’t funny. This is just evil. Come out so I can kick your ass.”

             
I heard a laugh behind me and I quickly turned around. There was Kevin standing at the other end of the rock with a wicked smile on his face. He started walking toward me. “No, you wouldn’t do that.”

             
I took another step forward. “Oh, I would too.” Then I pushed him back hard. “How could you scare me like that? I thought you died.” I pushed him again.

             
“I don’t think a woman in your circumstances should be pushing a man like me around.” He suddenly grabbed my wrists.

             
“What are you …” It suddenly hit me. I looked down and saw the water below. “You wouldn’t dare,” I said through gritted teeth.

             
Kevin smiled before he grabbed the small of my back with one arm and swept his other arm under my legs. I knew that fighting him at this point might be more dangerous than submitting, so submit I did. I grabbed onto his neck and buried my face into his wet chest as I felt the wind running through my hair as we pushed off the cliff. There was a two second pause--barely enough time to brace myself--before I felt the shock of cold water being flushed over me. I felt myself let go and was floating in the water. I kicked down to the bottom of the lake, then pushed off with all my might. I suddenly felt the air rush through my lungs as I reached the top.

             
I was still gasping for air I heard Kevin snicker, “There you are.” He began to swim toward me. “I thought I was going to have to pull you to shore and do a little CPR.”

             
I half screamed, half laughed as I splashed him. “You’re such a jerk!”

             
He grabbed my waist and led me out of the water. “Sorry, but I had to do it. It was that tempting. And oh, you should have seen the look on your face, it was priceless!”

             
“Whatever. I’ll get you back,” I said as I lay on the grass to let the sun dry me off. Then I heard my stomach rumble. “Did you bring any food?”

             
Kevin laughed as he reached for little bag. “Did I bring any food? Please, An, remember who you’re talking to.” He threw the contents at me.

             
We finished lunch relatively quick and took another swim in the lake. We wanted to make sure that the powers would really work. Then Kevin spread out a blanket and lay down on it.

             
I walked over with my arms crossed. “Oh, you didn’t bring one for me?”

             
He patted his abs. “You can rest right here.”

             
I rolled my eyes, but did go and rest my head on his stomach. I was too tired to think what I was doing. I think the sun was getting to me. Once I lay down I felt my eyes getting heavy. I was able to hear his breathing as I tried to fight my weighty eyes. I could feel his chest go up and down, following the sound of his breathing. It was soothing. I felt his fingers run through my hair as I closed my eyes. My body tensed up from shock and he was able to feel that on his skin because he then said,

             
“If you want me to stop, I will. You know, if it’s uncomfortable.”

             
The thing was, I didn’t know if I wanted him to stop or not, because it felt so good. “No it’s fine. It feels fantastic.”

             
Then he let out a big sigh as I felt his chest heave in and out. “You think that lake works? You really think it helps you find the love of your life?”

             
I shrugged. “Maybe. And maybe your special someone will emerge from the lake like Venus de Milo and say, ’Here I am. You found me!’”

             
He laughed and continued to stroke my hair as I fell asleep.

*
              *              *

             
I was in a church. This was strange because I never really went to church, but there I was and I heard the sound of wedding music playing in the air. I looked around for the bride but she was nowhere to be seen. I suddenly felt my feet move under me and began to walk. I looked down and saw that I was wearing a white dress. I was the bride. I was walking down the aisle. I looked at the people I passed and I saw everyone. Mari, Avery, Barnes, Antonio, Terrence, all of my court, and even Michael and his little redheaded tart. I finally got to the altar and saw my groom standing there, looking like the happiest man alive. The man of my dreams, the one who stood with me through it all. Although he didn’t know it yet, he was going to be the father of my little sailor-suited children. I looked down shyly as Kevin lifted my veil….

*
              *              *

             
I felt my eyes burn as I slowly opened them. The sun was setting in the West and was shining right into my tender sleeping eyes. I let out a slight groan as I began to stretch. I had to shake that stupid dream off. Kevin wasn’t the man of my dreams and I knew that; he was just my friend. The fact that I had seen him before I drifted off to sleep must be the reason why he had a starring role. I felt the body below me move up in down rapidly as Kevin began to laugh yet again.

“Well
, hello there, sleeping beauty. Glad to see you’re up.”

             
I half closed my eyes to shield them from the sun. “How long was I sleeping anyway?”

             
“I’d say a good three hours. But don’t worry. I just woke up fifteen minutes ago.”

             
That was when I noticed how close the sun was to the mountainside. “What time is?”

             
Kevin looked at the sun too and then said, “Well, I don’t really know. It looks late. Let me check.” Then he leaned over to his khakis and looked at something, I assumed his watch. Then looked back at me and smiled. “It’s almost six.”

             
In that one swift movement everything changed. I looked up at Kevin’s face. Something was different about it, something more … well,
profound
was the word that came to mind. I wondered why I’d never noticed it before and if it had always looked like that. I felt an irresistible impulse to reach up and touch it to make sure it was real. And when he smiled at me I felt as thought my heart was not only going to jump out of my throat, but do a couple of laps around my head. I just felt like nothing else mattered. Along with that, when his arm left my waist where it was resting, I felt insecure. Like something. . . no, not exactly like he was holding me together, but I didn’t like how it felt when his hand left my side. But it was when he looked down at me that I caught my breath, because behind his head a light began to glow around it. To call it a light doesn’t do it justice, though; it was more of a halo, and it seemed to say--no, it positively screamed,
“You found me!”

             
I gasped. “Oh my God!” Two things happened after that in quick succession. The first thing was that Kevin freaked out and turned his head, as if expecting to see a grizzly bear behind him. The second thing was that I jumped up and grabbed all of my things. “Oh my God!” I looked at Kevin one more time, saw the light again, then blinked like crazy in hopes it might dispel the illusion. “Oh my God!”

             
“Whoa.” Kevin really looked alarmed now. He grabbed my arm to settle me down, and my arm began to heat up at his touch. “What’s the matter?”

             
I yanked my arm from his burning grasp. “Nothing, we’re just … um, we’re going to be late for dinner. We should probably head back. Now,” I said, touching my arm where he had. My fingers felt icy-cold compared to the heat his hands had left.

             
“But An, it’s only dinner with the usual gang, it’s not a state visit. Besides, Aldo said we could skip it if we wanted to come back late.”

             
“No, no I definitely think we should … eat with other people. I just like eating dinner with lots and lots of people.”
That way I can maybe get rid of this feeling
, I thought.

             
Kevin looked skeptical. “Since when?”

“
Hmm? Since that date with Gianni …”

             
“Well, that wasn’t really a date, was it? More like cruel and unusual punishment.”

             
“Kev, please,” I begged.

             
“All right, fine,” he groaned, sounding more than slightly irritated as he grabbed our belongings to go.

             
I sighed with relief and thanked him. I thanked him a lot, like maybe ten times. I was hyper, all right. I was desperate to get as far away from this place as possible. This lake was not helping my love life one bit. It must be poisoned or something, I decided. Maybe someone dumped chemicals in the lake--hallucinogens or something like that. All I knew was that until that moment when Kevin said, “It’s almost six,” I had never had, not even for a nanosecond, the slightest feeling of anything remotely like love toward Kevin at all.

             
Once we were out of the woods, our horses galloped to the top of the olive grove hill. The sun was still a vibrant red as it began to set and the sky around it turned a mustard color. This would have been the perfect setting for the end of a romantic novel, I thought wistfully.
Only please leave Kevin out of it.

             
“I had fun today, Anya,” Kevin said, looking over to me.
              “I did too,” I said, refusing to look his way and see that glow again.

             
“Look An, there’s … there’s something I kinda wanted to--”

             
“Last one to the villa has to give Lynette a foot massage!”
I yelled as I galloped away.

             
“Anya! Anya, come on! I was being serious!” Kevin yelled. But I left him and all thoughts relating to him in the dust. What I was most afraid of was this: Just like the sun hiding behind the Sicilian hills, those overwhelming feelings were bound to rise again.

Chapter 27

Preparations

             
On the morning of my birthday I awoke early to the sound of hushed voices around me. I opened my eyes and saw Mari, Avery, Antonio, and Barnes standing at the foot of my bed.

             
“What the--?” I started to say as I sat up.

             
Barnes suddenly produced a harmonica from behind his back and gave it a toot. Then Mari, Avery, and Antonio began singing “Happy Birthday” to me as I sat there groaning and eventually laughing uncontrollably. It was by far the most unharmonious, off-key rendition of “Happy Birthday” I’d ever heard. Considering my antipathy toward birthdays, it was just about what I deserved. They even substituted “Dear Anya” to “Empress Anya.” Naturally, Barnes didn’t sing at all; he just did this silly little Oompa Lompa dance thing while every else sang. Once they were done they took a quick bow as I sat up straight and applauded. “Bravo! Bravo!”

             
“What, no encore?” Avery laughed as she walked over and helped me out of bed.

             
“No, thank you. One chorus was enough.”

             
After I hugged each one, they presented me with my birthday gift. It was a simple and elegant chain bracelet. The outside of the clasp was engraved with
Happy Birthday Anya,
and when you opened the clasp there was engraving on the inside:
Love, Avery, Mari Antonio and Barnes
. I was genuinely touched and whispered, “Thank you. I love it.”

             
It was only a moment or two when I realized Kevin was nowhere to be seen. Ever since returning from Sicily, the only time I saw him was when we practiced our dance. I was getting much better but I still felt a slight burn whenever his hand touched mine. It wasn’t painful but it sure was disconcerting. Still, I was able to push all other feelings aside while we were together, and I still considered him as only a friend. Even if I sometimes had to repeat it like a mantra over and over again:
He’s only a friend … only a friend … only a friend …

             
“Avery, where’s Kevin?” I asked, trying to sound offhand.

             
She was pushing me toward the bathroom with one hand, a bunch of clothes in the other. Yes, it was always that difficult to get me going in the morning. “Kevin? Oh, he’s coming to pick you up soon. He’s got a special surprise he’s dying to show you.”

             
“He’s picking me up? Wait, why are you giving me these clothes? I’m just going to get breakfast and I’ll be right back, right?” I asked as she shoved the clothes into my arms.

             
“Oh no, you won’t! We have to redecorate your room, silly. And you still need to pick out your dress. Where going to bring them in here since this room is the perfect fit to put them all in. Kevin’s going to take you to the surprise and then show you what the ballroom’s going to look like. Now go!” She pushed me into the bathroom. “Hurry, he’s going to be here any minute!”

             
I quickly threw on my jeans and a nice white sweater. I didn’t have enough time to do anything with my hair, so I quickly threw it up in a bun and stuck some makeup on my face. I thought I looked good, considering it took all of five minutes.

             
When I walked out everyone was scuttling around not paying attention to me, so I decided to go sit in the waiting room. I was just about to sit when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Kevin standing there, but he looked a little different. During the time that I’d been here he wore suits, or at least a shirt and tie. When we went horseback riding in Italy he wore khakis. Today was the first day I had ever seen him wear jeans, and he looked so good in them. They fit him perfectly and I was surprised he didn’t wear them more often. Along with his jeans he was also wearing a very snug navy polo shirt that made his upper body look more astounding than ever. He smiled and I felt my cheeks flush only slightly as I mentally repeated my mantra:
He’s only a friend … only a friend … only a friend …

             
“Hey, you ready to go?”

             
I nodded mutely and we walked out of the chaos of my room. We kept walking down the hallway saying nothing, really just looking at the floor. Finally I decided to ask, “Um, where are we going?”

             
“Now, now, didn’t Avery tell you it was a surprise?” he asked, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

             
“Yeah, but I think I have the right to know what kind of emotional stress you have in store for me.”

             
“Emotional stress? You really think that’ll happen?”

             
“It has to. It’s not just a surprise, it’s a
birthday
surprise, and I told how I am about birthdays. I’ll either be extremely happy and cry, or very sad and cry. I’m just warning you, tears will be shed.”

             
Kevin smirked, though not unkindly. “Look, you’ll be happy. I know it. Besides, we’re already here, so you can’t back out now.”

             
I was just about to look at where we were when I felt two huge hands go over my eyes. I ignored the blazing heat around my eye sockets and scratched at the hands while I asked Kevin, “What are you doing?”

             
“I don’t want you to see it yet,” I heard him say. Then he pulled me by the hand, but my feet weren’t going anywhere. Then I felt his breath against my ear as he whispered, “It’s all right, you’ll be fine. Just let me guide you, okay?”

             
I nodded and felt my feet move. We went straight for a little, then Kevin pulled me to the right. Then my feet walked a little while longer and I felt my body turn away from Kevin. Finally I felt a wonderful coolness as he lifted his hands from over my eyes. It took a while for my eyes to get adjusted, but when they did I saw where I was.

I was in the portrait room
, surrounded by the watch eyes of many great and not-so-great rulers. Most of them had expressions that I can only describe as Major Attitude. You always got the feeling as you walked past these monarchs that they were looking at you in distain, as if they were saying, “Yeah, that’s right, I ruled a country. What did
you
do?”

Suddenly my eyes fell on a portrait I didn’t remember seeing before. Or rather, it was someone I never
expect to see here. Me.

             
It was my portrait I was looking at, and it was hanging in the place of honor apart from the other portraits. I was amazed by how good the little old man had made me look. My skin was flawless with a creamy complexion.
On my best days, maybe,
I had to admit. I had to chuckle at the fact that I looked so serious, even wise, when I remembered all too well what I’d been thinking the whole time I was being painted: “How much longer is this going to take? My butt is totally numb!”

My eyes were painted to transfix and that’s exactly what they did. Every other part of the painting was just as
wonderful. The background was perfection, and not a hair on my head was out of place. Not even a strand. My dress had just the right amount of ruffles while my hands delicately lay on them. I went up and touched it lightly to make sure it was real. When I felt the hard paint under my fingers, tears welled in my eyes. It
was
real, and that’s what I really did look like. I looked royal, and I was beginning to feel it too. Had I really changed so much in the last seven months? It was almost surreal.

             
I backed up and turned to look at Kevin. I wiped away the tears in my eyes as I said, “This was the best surprise ever. It’s perfect. Thank you.” Then I attacked him with a hug. His arms wrapped around me and wouldn’t you know, the burning sensation wasn’t there this time.

             
“Want to see what the rest of the palace looks like?” he asked me.

*
              *              *

             
The decorating team really outdid themselves. When Kevin opened the East Ballroom doors all I saw was a white and gold blur. The golden pillars were wrapped in a white satin fabric, and at the top of each one was a gigantic bouquet of flowers. The rosewood banister that surrounded the top floor had white ribbons connected together to form a U-like pattern. Tables were placed around the floor except for a large area reserved for dancing. The staircase looked phenomenal as well. The staircase itself was a two-tiered structure that flared out as it went toward the bottom. But they had added a red carpet down the center, where I would be making my grand entrance, and on each side of the carpet were so many flowers that I thought my nose would lose its sense of smell before I finished my entrance.

             
After the initial shock, Kevin decided to do one more final rehearsal before I made my “Grand Descent,” as we had jokingly referred to it. I was glad I chose to wear my high heels before leaving my bedroom. I walked up to the top of the stairs as Kevin got himself situated at the second platform. I slowly made my descent and met Kevin at the appropriate spot. Once we walked down the last set of stairs, Kevin and I performed our most perfect dance to date. It was absolutely unblemished; nothing went wrong. Our only hope was that we would be able to perform just as well at the ceremony. After that Kevin informed me that it was time to go back to my room to pick out my dresses. We walked back to my room discussing the night ahead of us.

             
“So are you getting nervous yet?” he asked in a teasing tone.

             
“Well, actually, yeah,” I admitted, staring at the floor. “It’s all hitting me now as I speak. I mean, this whole experience up to now has been so … illusory. You know, when LaGard told me that I was going to be empress, I just figured it wouldn’t really happen. Sure, I’d stay at the castle for a while, but eventually they’d realize I wasn’t really empress material and they’d send me back on a cheap flight.” I stopped in my tracks and turned to him. “But now it’s really happening. My God, Kevin, by noon today I’m going to be Empress of Russia. You bet I’m nervous … terrified is more like it. What if I’m not cut for it, what if I’m a failure? What if it turns out they got the wrong girl and I’m not even supposed to be here, and some other girl in another country is going to see me on TV, and it’ll turn out
she’s
the real descendant, and there’ll be a huge shake-up and they’ll whisk me out of the country and I’ll have to live in seclusion somewhere under a different name to avoid the press and--”

             
“Okay, enough of this,” Kevin said, and then pulled me in gently by my shoulders. “Now listen to me, and listen well. You are meant to be here. I know it because I was part of the whole investigation team. You
are
the right person, and there’s no one else. Now there’s nothing to be terrified about, Anya. You are not a failure and you
are
cut out for this job. You’ve accomplished so much already and you haven’t even been crowned empress! Besides, everyone is rooting for you.” He placed his hand on my check. “And that includes me. Just remember what the painter said: ‘Only doubt will be your downfall.’”

             
I nodded and felt the warmth on my cheek, but it was different, nicer warmth this time, like sinking into a nice warm bath. It burned a bit at first, but it felt good right afterwards. It felt
right.
I put my hand on top of Kevin’s and nodded. Then we walked back to my room, Kevin draping his arm around my shoulder as he pulled me close to him. There was no need for my mantra then.

*
              *              *

             
When we reached my room, Kevin said one last goodbye to his friend Anya. The next time he would see me I would be Empress Anya. I smiled and waved and he ran down the hallway. Then I walked into the room, or what I thought was my room.

             
Everywhere you looked there were dresses. Red ones, blue ones, silver ones; short ones, long ones, shiny ones, dull ones. Dresses galore. I grabbed my head as I got my bearings, then walked past what looked like acres of dresses. I wanted to touch them but didn’t because some looked too delicate and I was afraid of ruining them. I was starting to get dizzy when Avery came around the corner and rushed over to me.

             
“There you are!” She grabbed me by the arm. “We thought you were going to be late. These over here,” she motioned to the left, “are all of your choices for the ceremony. And these,” she motioned to the right, “are the ball choices. Now, I can see that this is a bit overwhelming, so Mari and I picked out three of each so you wouldn’t have to worry about it. But if you see something else we haven’t picked, then please don’t feel you’ll hurt our feelings or anything silly like that. It’s your day, so it should be your choice.”

             
I nodded all the while, but what was really going through my mind was, what the hell happened to my room? I was brought to a spot where I believed my bed was supposed to be and sat down on a wooden crate of probably more dresses. Then I was shown my three ceremony choices. There was a short white dress with long sleeves, a blue short-sleeved tea dress, and finally a floor-length red dress with three-quarter-length sleeves. I kept thinking about which would be the most comfortable to walk and kneel in throughout the ceremony. After much thought I finally picked the red dress. It seemed regal enough, and besides, I would only be wearing it for an hour, hour-and-a-half tops.