God Save the Queen (23 page)

             
All my love,

Kevin.

              I looked at the note over again, my hands still shaking as I read and reread his words. I put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming. What had I done?

             
I handed the note to Mari. She sat down on the edge of my bed to read it. When she was finished she folded it and handed it back to me. “Do you want me to go get
Titanic?
” she asked, trying to be helpful as always.

             
“Oh, what’s the point?” I groaned, slouching back into the couch. “The boat sank, just like my relationship with Michael.” I buried my face in my hands, trying to calm down.

             
“Well,” I heard Mari say, “It depends on whether or not you watch the movie.”

             
I peaked through my fingers. “What do you mean?”

             
Mari sat down next to me and began to explain. “Well, if you watch the movie, then the boat will sink, just like it is expected to. But if you don’t watch the movie, well, then it could make it to the port and everyone is happy.”

             
I stared at her blankly. It was an astounding idea, coming from Mari. It sounded wise beyond her years, almost Zen-like. “How is everyone happy?”

             
“Are we talking about real life now?”

             
“Yes, we are.”

             
She sighed. “Well, if you marry Michael, he’ll never be happy. And Kevin is upset too, by the looks of this letter. And come on, we all know that you won’t be happy, and if you’re not happy then the rest of us aren’t either.” She took a deep breath and then continued. “However, if you choose not to, as we’re putting it, ‘watch the movie,’ then everyone ends up happy at the end. That’s because Michael could go back to his bimbo and you know that would make him happy. Then you and Kevin can be together and let’s face it, the whole palace has been waiting for that to happen.”

             
I looked up at her. “So it’s my choice, then.”

             
She nodded. “It’s your choice.”

             
I sat there and thought about it. It
was
my choice. It had always been my choice. Not even that stupid contract could have stopped me in the end. I had just used it as a convenient excuse to avoid facing something I didn’t want to deal with. I realized with a shock that the only reason I didn’t break up with Michael was that I had always had a back-up, Kevin, who I believed would always be there for me. I had been using him shamelessly without realizing it, but
he
realized it when I refused to challenge the contract. My God, he was ready to go to prison for me! And all that high-minded talk I gave him about cheating on Michael being against my oh-so-moral principles. How shallow was that?

             
I looked up at Mari “What time is it?” She told me and I jumped out of bed. “Come on, help me get dressed.” I didn’t want to be late. It’s one thing to turn down a marriage proposal; it’s another thing to be late for it.

*
              *              *

             
I arrived outside the dining hall at three on the dot. Michael had me in a sleeveless long dress, light pink with a black sash under the bust line. Everything from my shoulders down to the sash was a mass of ruffles. I looked only semi-ridiculous. I decided to wear my hair down and loose in its naturally wavy way. I also decided to wear flats, because I just hated my heels. I was going to be a rebel today.

             
The doors opened to reveal Michael and LaGard standing in the center of the room, LaGard prepping him for his proposal, no doubt. I hushed the guard just before he was about to announce my arrival, and walked over to where they were standing. Michael looked a little disheveled as I walked up to him but he regained himself fast enough.

             
“Michael …” I began but he quieted me down and held my hands.

             
“Anya, I need to tell you something. I don’t really know how to say it.”

             
“That’s fine,” I said calmly, “and there’s something I need to tell you too, but I think we need to have this conversation in private?”

It irked me to actually have to ask LaGard to allow us some privacy for Michael’s proposal. Even after I said it, he still showed no intention of leaving. I had to nudge Michael to speak up.

“Uncle, do you mind…?”

LaGard grunted his disapproval. “Just remember what I said, Michael,” he said with a warning finger as he backed out of the room.

Finally alone, I turned to Michael. He looked antsy, as if he’d rather have been anywhere else in the world than in this room with me. And his proposal wasn’t exactly inspired. It began with “Anya, although we have only been together for a couple of months I felt as though I have known you my whole life,” and somewhere in the middle was “You have changed my life in so many ways and they were all for the better,” and closed with “I know that my life needs to be spent with you and that is why I want to ask you, to marry me.” Then he grabbed my hands and got down on one knee.

I’m no expert in these matters, but shouldn’t he have gotten down on his knee before, and not after, the proposal? It made what I was about to say so much easier.

              “Michael, thank you, that was a very sweet,” I said softly as I pulled him back up to his feet. “But no, I can’t marry you.”

             
He looked at me as though I had slapped him in the face. “What? What do you mean? Why?”

             
I paused only briefly before answering. “Look Michael, I don’t know how to break this gently, so I’ll just say it: I know all about the other girl.” As I said this I looked directly into his eyes, which suddenly got very panicky. “You know, the redhead.”

             
His face went absolutely white. “You know about Emily?”

             
“ I do. I saw you kiss her in the driveway that day you went to Spain. And I know that you went with her to Japan on my coronation day. Now,
that
hurt.”

             
Michael’s reaction was surprising. I’d prepared myself for angry denials, but he actually looked devastated. He bit his lip and held my hands tight. “Anya, I am so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain I put you through.”

             
I shrugged. “You did hurt me. But it’s okay now, I got over it. No biggie.”

             
“Anya, I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted you to find out.”

“Well, obviously,” I said.

“No, you don’t understand. it’s just … Look, I was dating Emily before I met you. I told her I was going to Russia for business, but I didn’t tell her then that I was to marry an empress. It would have been a awkward way to break up, and you and I hadn’t yet met, so I wasn’t absolutely sure you and I
would
get married. But once we did meet, I thought it would be a good match and I had to break it off with Emily. That’s why I left the first time, to England--to break the news to her. I did, and what happened next I can’t really defend. She understood the marriage contract, but she said there was no reason we couldn’t keep seeing each other until the wedding.”

“No reason?” I asked him with a lift of my eyebrows.

“I know, it sounds so tawdry, and I can’t excuse it, but at the time … well, it was a compromise; she pressed the point quite hard, didn’t want to end it right then and there, even hinted rather darkly that if I didn’t do as she asked, she had friends who worked for the British tabloids.”

“Blackmail,” I murmured. “My, such a lovely girl.”

“I know, I was an idiot to fall for it. But at the time it seemed an easy way out. We decided to take a few secret trips together, and then I’d come here and settle down to live with you. Anya, for what it’s worth, when I said I loved you, I meant it. You’re beautiful, you’re kind and intelligent, but I loved you more in a friend kind of way.”

“Ah,” I said.

“I’m so sorry. For everything.” He said this with his head bowed, and now he looked up with beseeching eyes. “Forgive me?”

             
I smiled, “Michael its fine. Really it is.”

             
He sighed and hugged me. “Thank you,” he whispered. When he broke away from the hug he chuckled a bit and said, “So what about you? I mean, after all I put you through, you couldn’t have been completely faithful to me.”

He
chuckled some more as he waited for my confession, and then stopped cold when I smiled sweetly and said, “But I
was
faithful to you, Michael.”

“Wait
, you were? I always thought that you and Kevin were having this little thing on the side. You never …”

             
“Nope,” I said smugly. But then I remembered. “Well, actually, last night Kevin and I kissed.” Michael raised an eyebrow. I laughed in reply, “Oh, he tried to win me over, but I told him that I couldn’t be with him because you and I were going to be engaged. But now that’s not even happening, so you see, I’ve spoiled everything.”

             
An awkward silence followed. Michael shrugged and said, “Well, unless I’ve misunderstood this whole conversation, we’re over. You’re single.”

             
I looked at him with eager eyes. “Then we’re done here?”

             
“We’re done,” he said with a wry smile, then nodded toward the door. “Go get him.”

             
I hugged him one last time before running out the door. I couldn’t believe it … I was free … free! I sprinting down the hallway, trying to remember where Kevin said he’d be waiting to meet me. It was … yes! The library! I began to run faster at the thought of seeing him waiting for me. I got to the door and ripped it open, and there was Kevin, leaning over the table. His head snapped up as he saw me walk in. I didn’t even give him a chance to say hi before rushed into his arms and embraced him.

             
He chuckled sadly. “Aw … well, I’m glad to see you’re happy anyway.” Then he held me out at arm’s length. “Well, let’s see the ring.”

             
I flashed my left hand to present my still-bare ring finger. It didn’t seem to process through his brain, so I explained it to him as simply as I could. “I’m not marrying Michael.”

             
Still holding me, I felt his grip loosen as he said, “You’re not getting married?”

             
“I’m not getting married!” Then we embraced again as Kevin swung me around. I giggled, feeling a freedom I’d never felt before. I was now in his arms and there was nothing wrong with that. No more furtive glances, no more guilt or secret rendezvous in the garden … We could now build our relationship openly and be happy forever.

             
Then we heard noises from the hallway. And shouts. Kevin and I looked at each other in confusion and slowly made our way toward the door. We opened it a crack to see LaGard storming down the hallway, Michael shouting after him. LaGard seemed to be heading for the library, so Michael closed the door quickly.

             
“Doesn’t look happy,” he said. I nodded. Even behind the closed door we could hear their voices raised in fury.

             
“Uncle, please! There’s nothing you can do. We’ve both agreed to break off the engagement.”

             
“Evidently you’ve forgotten the contract!”

             
“Uncle, it’s over. It’s a mutual decision. Now, please …”

We instinctively backed away from the door, just in case …

Sure enough, the library door flew open and LaGard charged into the room, his face purple with rage.
“You!”
he roared at me.

Michael
quickly jumped in front of his uncle. “Uncle, if you so much as lay one finger on her, I swear that I will have you personally escorted out of here.”

             
“
You
will have
me
escorted out of here? Enough of this!” His hand went inside his jacket pocket, from which I expected he would produce the marriage contract. I was wrong. I glimpsed something shiny and metallic, then Michael jumped to wrest it from him, obscuring my sightline. The two men fought savagely over it as they filled the room with shouts. LaGard’s hand slipped through Michael’s grasp and finally I saw what they were fighting over--a pistol.

“Uncle, no!”

“Get--out--move--your--” With surprising strength, LaGard hauled back and shoved his knee into Michael’s groin, bringing him to his knees.

My heart was in my throat. At least, I thought with relief, Michael managed to grab the pistol from his uncle’s hand. Or so I had thought.

Sometimes we see only what we
want
to see, and everything happened so quickly that it was just a blur. Now swaying unsteadily on his feet, LaGard raised his hand and took aim.