When he had made himself presentable, in a sky-blue dyed-leather tunic and high boots, he went up to his grandfather's audience room.
Inside he found Danvan Hastur of Hastur, Regent of the Seven Domains, talking to Kennard Alton. As he opened the door, Hastur raised his eyebrows and gestured to him to sit down. “One moment, my lad, I'll talk to you later.” He turned back to Kennard and said in a tone of endless patience, “Kennard, my friend, my dear kinsman, what you ask is simply impossible. I let you force Lew on usâ”
“Have you regretted it?” Kennard demanded angrily.
“They tell me at Arilinn that he is a strong telepath, one of their best. In the Guard he is a competent officer. What right have you to assume Marius would bring disgrace on the Comyn?”
“Who spoke of disgrace, kinsman?” Hastur was standing before his writing table, a strongly built old man, not as tall as Kennard, with hair that had once been silver-gilt and was now nearly all gray. He spoke with a slow, considered mildness. “I let you force Lew on us and I've had no reason to regret it. But there is more to it than that. Lew does not look Comyn, no more than you, but there is no question in anyone's mind that he is Darkovan and your son. But Marius? Impossible.”
Kennard's mouth thinned and tightened. “Are you questioning the paternity of an acknowledged Alton son?” Standing quietly in a corner, Regis was glad Kennard's rage was not turned on
him
.
“By no means. But he has his mother's blood, his mother's face, his mother's eyes. My friend, you know what the first year cadets go through in the Guards. . . .”
“He's my son and no coward. Why do you think he would be incompetent to take his place, the place to which he is legally entitledâ”
“Legally, no. I won't quibble with you, Ken, but we never recognized your marriage to Elaine. Marius is
legally,
as regards inheritance and Domain-right, entitled to nothing whatever. We
gave
Lew that right. Not by birth entitlement, but by Council action, because he was Alton, telepath, with full
laran
. Marius has received no such rights from Council.” He sighed. “How can I make you understand? I'm sure the boy is brave, trustworthy, honestâthat he has all the virtues we Comyn demand of our sons. Any lad you reared would have those qualities. Who knows better than I? But Marius
looks
Terran. The other lads would tear him to pieces. I know what Lew went through. I pitied him, even while I admired his courage. They've accepted him, after a fashion. They would never accept Marius. Never. Why put him through that misery for nothing?”
Kennard clenched his fists, striding angrily up and down the room. His voice choked with rage, he said, “You mean that I can get a cadet commission for some poor relation, or my bastard son by a whore or an idiot, sooner than for my own legitimately born son!”
“Kennard, if it were up to me, I'd give the lad his chance. But my hands are tied. There has been enough trouble in Council over citizenship for those of mixed blood. Dyanâ”
“I know all too well how Dyan feels. He's made it abundantly clear.”
“Dyan has a great deal of support in Council. And Marius' mother was not only Terran but half-Aldaran. If you had hunted over Darkover for a generation, you could not have found a woman less likely to be accepted as the mother of your legitimate sons.”
Kennard said in a low voice, “It was your own father who had me sent to Terra, by the will of the Council, when I was fourteen years old. Elaine was reared and schooled on Terra, but she thought of herself as Darkovan. I did not even know of her Terran blood at first. But it made no difference. Even had she been all Terran . . .” He broke off. “Enough of that. It is long past and she is dead. As for me, I think my record and reputation, my years commanding the Guard, my ten years at Arilinn, prove abundantly what I am.” He paced the floor, his uneven step and distraught face betraying the emotion he tried to keep out of his voice. “You are not a telepath, Hastur. It was easy for you to do what your caste required of you. The Gods know I tried to love Caitlin. It wasn't her fault. But I did love Elaine, and she
was
mother to my sons.”
“Kennard, I'm sorry. I cannot fight the whole Council for Marius, unlessâhas he
laran
?”
“I have no idea. Does it matter so much?”
“If he had the Alton gift, it might be possible, not easy but possible, to establish some rights for him. There are precedents. With
laran
, even a distant kinsman can be adopted into the Domains. Without it . . . no, Kennard. Don't ask. Lew is accepted now, even respected. Don't ask more.”
Kennard said, his head bent, “I didn't want to test Lew for the Alton gift. Even with all my care, it came near to killing him. Hastur, I cannot risk it again! Would you, for your youngest son?”
“My only son is dead.” Hastur said and sighed. “If I can do anything else for the boyâ”
Kennard answered, “The only thing I want for him is his right, and that is the only thing you will not give. I should have taken them both to Terra. You made me feel I was needed here.”
“You are, Ken, and you know it as well as I.” Hastur's smile was very sweet and troubled. “Some day, perhaps, you may see why I can't do what you wish.” His eyes moved to Regis, fidgeting on the bench. He said, “If you will excuse me, Kennard . . . ?”
It was a courteous but definite dismissal. Kennard withdrew, but his face was grim and he omitted any formal leave-taking. Hastur looked tired. He sighed and said,
“Come here, Regis. Where have you been? Haven't I trouble enough without worrying that you've run away like a silly brat, to look at the spaceships or something like that?”
“The last time I gave you too much trouble, Grandfather, you sent me into a monastery. Isn't it too bad you can't do it again, sir?”
“Don't be insolent, you young pup,” Hastur growled. “Do you want me to apologize for having no welcome last night? Very well, I apologize. It wasn't my choice.” He came and took Regis in his arms, pressing his withered cheeks one after another to the boy's. “I've been up all night, or I'd think of some better way to welcome you now.” He held him off at arm's length, blinking with weariness. “You've grown, child. You are very like your father. He would have been proud, I think, to see you coming home a man.”
Against his own will, Regis was moved. The old man looked so weary. “What crisis kept you up all night, Grandfather?”
Hastur sank down heavily on the bench. “The usual thing. I expect it's known on every planet where the Empire builds a big spaceport, but we're not used to it here. People coming and going from all corners of the Empire. Travelers, transients, spacemen on leave and the sector which caters to them. Bars, amusement places, gambling halls, houses of . . . er . . .”
“I'm old enough to know what a brothel is, sir.”
“At your age? Anyway, drunken men are disorderly, and Terrans on leave carry weapons. By agreement, no weapons can be carried into the old city, but people do stray across the lineâthere's no way of preventing it, short of building a wall across the city. There have been brawls, duels, knife fights and sometimes even killings, and it isn't always clear whether the City Guard or the Terran space force should properly handle the offenders. Our codes are so different that it's hard to know how to compromise. Last night there was a brawl and a Terran knifed one of the Guardsmen. The Terran offered as his defense that the Guardsman had made him what he called an indecent proposition. Must I explain?”
“Of course not. But are you trying to tell me, seriously, that this was offered as a legal defense for murder?”
“Seriously. Evidently the Terrans take it even more seriously than the
cristoforos
. He insisted his attack on the Guardsman was justifiable. Now the Guardsman's brother has filed an intent-to-murder on the Terran. The Terrans aren't subject to our laws, so he refused to accept it and instead filed charges against the Guardsman's brother for attempted murder. What a tangle! I never thought I'd see the day when Council had to sit on a knife fight! Damn the Terrans anyhow!”
“So how did you finally settle it?”
Hastur shrugged. “Compromise, as usual. The Terran was deported and the Guardsman's brother was held in the brig until the Terran was off-planet; so nobody gets any peace except the dead man. Unsatisfactory for everyone. But enough of them. Tell me about yourself, Regis.”
“Well, I'll have to talk about the Terrans again,” Regis said. This wasn't the best time, but his grandfather might not have time to talk with him again for days. “Grandfather, I'm not needed here. You probably know I don't have
laran,
and I found out in Nevarsin that I'm not interested in politics. I've decided what I want to do with my life: I want to go into the Terran Empire Space Service.”
Hastur's jaw dropped. He scowled and demanded, “Is this a joke? Or another silly prank?”
“Neither, Grandfather. I mean it, and I'm of age.”
“But you can't do that! Certainly they'd never accept you without my consent.”
“I hope to have that, sir. But by Darkovan law, which you were quoting at Kennard, I am of legal age to dispose of myself. I can marry, fight a duel, acknowledge a son, stand responsible for a murderâ”
“The Terrans wouldn't think so. Kennard was declared of age before he went. But on Terra he was sent to school and required, legally forced, mind you, to obey a stipulated guardian until he was past twenty. You'd hate that.”
“No doubt I would. But I learned one thing at Nevarsin, sirâyou can live with the things you hate.”
“Regis, is this your revenge for my sending you to Nevarsin? Were you so unhappy? What can I say? I wanted you to have the best education possible and I thought it better for you to be properly cared for, there, than neglected at home.”
“No, sir,” Regis said, not quite sure. “It's simply that I want to go, and I'm not needed here.”
“You don't speak Terran languages.”
“I understand Terran Standard. I learned to read and write at Nevarsin. As you pointed out, I am excellently well educated. Learning a new language is no great matter.”
“You say you are of age,” Hastur said coldly, “so let me quote some law back to you. The law provides that before you, who are heir to a Domain, undertake any such risky task as going offworld, you must provide an heir to your Domain. Have you a son, Regis?”
Regis looked sullenly at the floor. Hastur knew, of course, that he had not. “What does that matter? It's been generations since the Hastur gift has appeared full strength in the line. As for ordinary
laran,
that's just as likely to appear at random anywhere in the Domains as it is in the direct male line of descent. Pick any heir at random, he couldn't be less fit for the Domain than I am. I suspect the gene's a recessive, bred out, extinct like the catalyst telepath trait. And Javanne has sons; one of them is as likely to have it as any son of mine, if I had any. Which I don't,” he added rebelliously, “or am likely to. Now or ever.”
“Where do you get these ideas?” Hastur asked, shocked and bewildered. “You're not, by chance, an
ombredin
?”
“In a
cristoforo
monastery? Not likely. No, sir, not even for pastime. And certainly not as a way of life.”
“Then why should you say such a thing?”
“Because,” Regis burst out angrily, “I belong to myself, not to the Comyn! Better to let the line die with me than to go on for generations, calling ourselves Hastur, without our gift, without
laran,
political figureheads being used by Terra to keep the people quiet!”
“Is that how you see me, Regis? I took the Regency when Stefan Elhalyn died, because Derik was only five, too young to be crowned even as a puppet king. It's been my ill-fortune to rule over a period of change, but I think I've been more than just a figurehead for Terra.”
“I know some Empire history, sir. The Empire will finally take over here too. It always does.”
“Don't you think I know that? I've lived with the inevitable for three reigns now. But if I live long enough, it will be a slow change, one our people can live with. As for
laran,
it wakens late in Hastur men. Give yourself time.”
“Time!” Regis put all his dissatisfaction into the word.
“I haven't
laran
either, Regis. But even so, I think I've served my people well. Couldn't you resign yourself to that?” He looked into Regis' stubborn face and sighed. “Well, I'll bargain with you. I don't want you to go as a child, subject to a court-appointed guardian under Terran law. That would disgrace all of us. You're the age when a Comyn heir should be serving in the cadet corps. Take your regular turn in the Guards, three cadet seasons. After that, if you still want to go, we'll think of a way to get you offworld without going through all the motions of their bureaucracy. You'd hate itâI've had fifty years of it and I still hate it. But don't walk out on Comyn before you give it a fair try. Three years isn't that long. Will you bargain?”
Three years seemed like an eternity at Nevarsin. But did he have a choice? None, except outright defiance. He could run away, seek aid from the Terrans themselves. But if he was legally a child by their laws, they would simply hand him over again to his guardians. That would indeed be a disgrace.
“Three cadet seasons,” he said at last. “But only if you give me your word of honor that if I choose to go, you won't oppose it after that.”
“If after three years you still want to go,” said Hastur, “I promise to find some honorable way.”