Thank goodness our feuding days were past. What a nightmare it had been since the twins moved to Dressel Hills last year. Their flirtatious ways had made me sick. On top of that, Paula had openly tried to steal Jared’s attentions away from me. But things had changed between Paula and me. I actually considered her one of my very best friends now. Would she miss me enough to keep in touch by email?
Over the din of voices, I saw the door open. A hushed silence fell over the kids as Miss Hess, our choral director, marched into the room. Her black boots clicked across the floor like muted staccato notes. I hurried down the aisle and quickly slipped into the seat beside Paula.
“Miss Hess looks wiped out,” Paula whispered.
“Maybe she had a late date,” I said back. “Or maybe the musical’s getting to her.”
Young and pretty, Miss Hess had a positive outlook on life, but she was also quite a perfectionist. I knew she was concerned about the spring musical. In fact, I’d heard that she was getting a student drama teacher from a college in Denver to help her direct it.
I’ll miss the musical if I move soon.
The thought stabbed my heart, and I breathed deeply, watching Andie fidget at the piano. She glanced up at me, holding my gaze longer than usual. A lump grew in my throat as I thought about leaving this school, this town. Could I survive without Andie and Paula? Jared and Danny? Billy and—
“Good morning, class,” Miss Hess said, interrupting my thoughts. “Today we’ll begin with five-tone scales on
ah,
then on
oo.
” She gestured for us to stand. “Everyone ready?” She faced the piano, nodding as Andie gave the beginning note.
It was hard warming up your vocal chords when all you really wanted to do was cry. My voice sounded squeaky as we worked our way up the scale.
Paula must’ve noticed. She glanced my way after the first set of warm-ups. “You okay?”
“Barely,” I said, making sure Miss Hess didn’t catch me talking.
“ ‘Edelweiss’ next, please,” Miss Hess announced when we finished our warm-ups. “Altos first.” She paused, glancing up at me. “Holly Meredith, will you perform the solo today?”
My heart sank, but I nodded.
Just my luck.
Andie began to play the introduction.
“Go for it, Holly,” Paula whispered.
I peered over at the tenors. Jared tugged on his Nike T-shirt, flashing his glorious grin at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and counted the measures before my solo. Only eight.
Could I pull it together in time?
Jared’s smile…those blue eyes…his sweet words…I might never see him again!
Tears sprang up, blurring the notes. I blinked my eyes, wiping the tears, trying desperately to see the music. Where were we, anyhow?
Struggling to find my cue, I listened to Paula next to me. My solo was coming up—only a few measures away. I coughed, trying to clear my throat.
When I opened my mouth to sing, nothing came out.
I tried again. It sounded squawky—perfectly horrid!
Miss Hess stopped the music and leaned her arms on the podium. “Holly?” Her soft hazel eyes expressed concern.
I froze in place as Miss Hess and the entire choir waited for my response. Coughing, I tried to speak, but a squeak emerged, “I can’t…”
Paula put her arm around me. “Holly’s not feeling well,” she explained. She led me down the aisle. And a roomful of eyes pushed through the back of my head as we left the room.
GOOD-BYE, DRESSEL HILLS
In the girls’ rest room, I dashed to the first available stall. Locking the door behind me, I let the heart-wrenching sobs pour out.
“Holly, what’s wrong?” Paula asked through the door.
“The worst thing in the world might be happening,” I stammered.
“Are you sick?”
“Worse.”
“Are you
very
sick?”
“It’s not cancer, but it is terminal,” I blurted.
“Open the door, Holly,” Paula said. “You have to come out and talk to me.”
I fumbled for the lock. “It’s just…so hopeless.”
By the time I emerged, Paula’s face was ashen. “Is something wrong…at…at home?”
Leaning over the sink, I tried to rinse my face. The red blotches remained—hopeless. “Nothing’s wrong between Mom and Uncle Jack, if that’s what you mean. I’ve been through divorce before. Believe me, it’s nothing like that.”
“Well, then
what
?”
I hesitated, looking up at her. “We might be moving,” I said softly.
Paula’s eyes grew wide. “When?”
“We’ll know by Friday.”
“That’s the day after tomorrow,” Paula said. “Will you be completing the school year here?”
Sometimes Paula talked like she was straight out of another century.
“Wouldn’t
that
be nice! The least Uncle Jack should do for me,” I said. “He’s completely unreasonable these days. All he thinks about is his dumb company. It’s
so
annoying.”
“I would think so.” She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “I wonder if this will affect my dad’s part of the business. He never told us your uncle was thinking of moving.”
“Maybe you’ll move, too—at least it’ll be nice for me if you do,” I said. More tears.
“For me, too,” she said with a hug. “We’re friends now, don’t forget.”
It was true. Paula and I had come a long way since her family moved here last year. For the most part, Andie, Paula, and I were a threesome now.
After pulling gobs of toilet paper off the roll and dabbing at my eyes, I was ready to face the world again.
The practice for “Edelweiss” was over when we returned to the music room. The guys were working on an ensemble section of “The Lonely Goatherd.” Miss Hess didn’t comment as Paula and I took our seats. Thank goodness.
After class, things went crazy. “Holly, are you okay?” Jared asked, rushing over to me.
Danny followed on Jared’s heels, his serious eyes surveying the situation. Billy and Andie came up to me. Soon, they and Amy-Liz, Joy, and Shauna circled me like a wagon train roundup.
I couldn’t remember having been fussed over so much. It made me nervous. How could I stand here and discuss the possible move in front of all my friends?
Grabbing my arm, Andie spoke up. “We’ll fill you guys in later.” She ushered me through the huddle and out the door.
“Hey, wait up,” Jared called.
“Later.” Andie flung the word over her shoulder.
“Holly!” Jared tried again. He wouldn’t give up, I was sure of it. I heard the sound of footsteps, then I felt Jared’s hand on my shoulder, gently turning me to face him. “Look, if you’re sick, Holly-Heart,” he said, using the nickname Mom gave me because of my Valentine birthday, “I’ll call your mom for you.” He took out a cell phone.
“Does she look sick to you?” Andie asked.
“Well, her eyes are puffy,” he observed.
“That happens when people cry. It’s normal,” Andie explained sarcastically. “She’s having a mood change, that’s all. When the sun comes out again, she’ll tell you all about it.” With that, Andie proceeded to pull me down the hall toward her locker, leaving Jared behind.
“Thanks,” I said, waiting for Andie to work her combination lock. “You were sweet back there.”
“You can’t let these guys run you around, Holly,” she said as she flung open her locker. “And Jared’s way too possessive of you, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
I gasped. “He is?”
“Look at his eyes. You’ll see it if you know what to look for.” She reached up, stuffing a notebook inside her messy locker. “Remember what your dad told you in California?”
“I know, but—”
“Well, I’ve been watching Jared,” she said. “I’m telling you, he’s getting just a little too mushy, if you ask me.”
“Shh! Here he comes,” I said.
Jared came over and touched my hand. “Holly-Heart, let’s talk.”
Despite Andie’s disapproving look, I nodded.
“Everything okay?” he asked as we walked to lunch.
That’s when I told him my news. Half the school stared as we entered the cafeteria. By now, the choir had probably spread the word about my crying episode. That was one of the few disadvantages of attending a pocket-sized school—everyone knew everyone else’s business.
Jared pulled out a tray, letting the excess water drip off before handing it to me. “Any chance you won’t go to Denver?”
I shrugged. “My uncle has this wild and crazy idea. He thinks he’s the only one who can run the office there.”
We found a table and sat down without talking. Jared ate his cheeseburger and fries faster than usual. He seemed lost in thought.
Me? I was too upset to eat, so I picked at my food.
Finally I broke the silence. “How can we keep our friendship going with so many miles between us?” I asked softly.
His jaw was set; his eyes looked serious. “How many email messages can you write a day, Holly-Heart?”
“Zillions,” I answered, looking away. His gaze was too intense for me. I didn’t want to cry again.
“Oh, man,” he groaned. “This is so bad.”
“Let’s talk about something else,” I said. “How about the spring musical? What part do you want to audition for?”
Jared scratched his head for a moment, then blurted out, “If you won’t be around, there’s no way I’ll feel like singing.”
“I’m sorry.” I pushed my tray away. “I don’t know how to handle this, either.” I leaned my elbows on the table, my hands on my face. “I can’t believe this,” I cried.
Jared cleared his throat. Maybe he was trying not to cry, too.
“Look, Holly, we’ll work something out.” He paused. “I don’t want to lose track of you. Never.”
I sat up, looking at him. Andie wasn’t kidding, he
was
serious!
“Maybe after I get my license I could drive to Denver on weekends. His eyes brightened.
“But that’s two years away,” I reminded him.
The light in his eyes faded. “Well, I’ll call you every day, then.”
“There’s no way, Jared,” I said, feeling as lousy as he looked.
“Holly,” he persisted, “I’ll get an after-school job to pay for the phone bill or something. I’m serious.” By the look on his face and the tone of his voice, I knew he was.
GOOD-BYE, DRESSEL HILLS
After school, Paula Miller met me at my locker. “Holly,” she said hesitantly, “I don’t have to come over today if—”
“I’m fine,” I insisted, closing my locker. “You’re coming home with me, just like we planned.”
Paula grinned. “Great. I can’t wait to discover the new me.” She zipped up her leather jacket, blinking her mascara-laden eyes. “Maybe I can help you get your mind off moving.”
“Sounds good.”
Since I had tons of makeup leftover from my birthday party a month ago, I’d suggested to Paula that I do a make-over on her. She was really tired of looking like a clone of Kayla, her twin, and was eager to experiment with a new look.
We rode the bus to my house with Jared sitting directly behind me. He kept leaning over every other second with another new suggestion for our possible long-distance relationship. In a way, he was starting to bug me.
When Paula and I got off the bus a block from my house, Jared followed. “Mind if I tag along?” he asked as we picked our way over the snowy sidewalk toward my house.
I felt sorry about his pain, and I would have loved spending the afternoon with him. But I was ready to dump the moving thoughts for now. “Maybe another time,” I said. “Okay?”
Jared seemed surprised at first, but then he slowed his pace. “I’ll call you tonight, Holly-Heart.” And he headed slowly back toward the bus stop.
Now I really felt bad. Turning Jared away like that was heartless. But having him around while Paula and I fooled with makeup wouldn’t be any fun for him anyway.
“Jared’s really nuts over you,” Paula said as we clumped up the deck steps to my house.
“Well, I like him, too. It’s just…” I sighed. “I don’t know what our friendship will be like if I move.” I opened the front door. “It’s not fair to expect anything of each other at our age.” I took off my jacket and hung it up.
Paula nodded. “Just be glad you’re
not
older. What if you were dating?” She pulled off her jacket and draped it over the living room couch.
“For now, let’s pretend I’m not leaving at all,” I said, ushering her into the kitchen. “Let’s talk about your make-over. I was thinking I’d give you a soft, new look so no one will even know you have an identical twin.”
“Sounds terrific.” She pulled out a barstool, all smiles.
Mom showed up just then. “Hi, Holly-Heart,” she said, giving me a quick hug.
“Say good-bye to the old Paula Miller,” I told Mom.
Mom chuckled, grinning at Paula. “Are you sure you trust Holly with your face?”
Paula laughed. “I must be pretty desperate.”
Forcing nagging thoughts out of my mind, I washed my hands, then pulled out plastic bags of facial products and leftover makeup stored under the bar.
“Goofey, we’re home,” I called to my adorable cat. He came purring into the kitchen.
“Care for a snack, girls?” Mom asked.
“Sure, thanks,” Paula replied.
“What about you, Holly?” Mom asked.
“No, thanks.”
Mom’s eyebrows shot up. “You mustn’t be feeling well.”
“Relax, Mom,” I said. “I’m just not hungry.” Usually I could eat everything in sight. Just not today.
Her eyes squinted a little as she pulled a couple of oranges out of the refrigerator.
“Besides,” I said, “preparing to leave the only town you’ve ever known can bring on all sorts of eating disorders.”
Now she really squinted her eyes. “We’ll talk about
that
later.” Mom cast a sideways glance at Paula. She took out some apples and began to peel and slice them into chunks, just the way I liked them.
Goofey spotted Paula and rubbed against her ankle. “Oh, he’s so-o cute,” she cooed, petting him.
I scooped up some cucumber-based facial gook and waved it in Paula’s face. Lowering my voice, I said, “Your face is in my hands, Paula Miller. Are you ready for this?”
Her eyes widened. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”
“You betcha,” I said with great confidence. “You’ll be absolutely delighted with the outcome. Guaranteed!”