GOOD-BYE WHISPERS
by Holly Meredith
“Can it be?” asked Brett.
“It’s true,” said Roxanne. “We’re moving and I know it’s lousy for you…for me, too.”
Brett shook his head, deep in thought. “But you’re my life, my love.”
Roxanne put her fingers to his lips. “Don’t say another word, my darling.”
I stopped for a moment, thinking about the plot and what should come next. Doodling, I wrote Sean Hamilton’s name sideways in the margin. One week from today he’d be here skiing. Spending the day with me. I added curlicues around his name. It was hard to push away such excitement. Then I reminded myself we were just friends and marked out his name with an X.
Paula went to look for a book in the reference section. That’s when it happened. Someone touched the top of my head.
I turned around and there was Jared, his bold, yet wistful eyes watching me.
My cheeks flamed with embarrassment. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“Just saying hi to my girl,” he said.
I felt uncomfortable, even with the many students studying around us at desks and in chairs.
I moved my backpack off the chair next to me, and he sat down. “Whatcha studying?” he asked, glancing at the beginning of my story.
“Nothing, really,” I said, twirling my pencil. “Just starting another story.”
A strange look crept into his eyes as he stared at my writing pad. “Who’s Sean Hamilton?”
Yikes! He’d seen the name in the margin.
Jared leaned over so that his pointer finger touched Sean’s name, crossed out in the margin of my story. “Is he fact or fiction?”
Nervously, I cleared my throat. “He’s just some boy I met last Christmas.”
Jared’s eyes registered jealousy. “What’s this about?”
“It’s no big deal.”
“Are you going to tell me about him or not?” Jared asked.
By now, everyone around us was aware of the conversation. Jared’s voice had inched up in volume with every sentence.
I wanted to crawl under the table. No, better yet, under the giant snowdrift outside the library window.
“Jared, please, not here,” I whispered, glancing around.
He stood up abruptly and pulled me with him toward the hallway.
“We’re not supposed to be out here,” I said.
“Then you name the place,” he said.
The only unpopulated place I could think of was the auditorium. I felt jittery as we headed there. “Jared, you’re overreacting,” I said as we settled into two seats near the stage.
Jared’s eyes narrowed. “I think you’d better start at the beginning with this Sean thing.”
“He’s a friend of my dad’s,” I said. “I hardly know him.”
“But you were thinking about him back there,” he insisted.
“Only because he’s coming with my dad to ski next weekend,” I blurted without thinking.
“Oh…so that’s it.” Jared stood up, walking around with his hands smashed in his jeans pockets. He was scrutinizing me, making me feel guilty. Actually rotten.
I leaped out of my seat. “I’ve done nothing wrong!”
Jared’s eyes bored into me. “Has Sean been writing to you?”
“And what if he has?” I shot back.
“Does he know about…you and me?”
Out of nowhere came the urge to slap him. For the pat on the head in the library. For his accusations. “It’s none of your business,” I snapped. “You don’t own me.”
“Is that how you feel?” He put his foot on the seat, leaning on his knee as he glared down at me.
Jared’s frown, his words, made me even more angry. “I don’t know
how
I feel right now,” I said, sitting down again. “But I know one thing for sure.” I took a deep breath. “It’s too much. You and me…we’re…way too exclusive.”
Slowly, Jared sat in front of me, leaning over the seat. His face softened as the frown disappeared. Then he reached for my hand. “What are you saying, Holly-Heart? That it’s wrong to like only one person?”
I stared down at our hands. “I’m not ready to be this serious,” I said, fighting back the tears. “We’re too young.”
“Love doesn’t know age barriers,” he said. “Look at Mr. Ross and Miss W.”
I should have known he’d use them. “Honestly, Jared, would you believe me if I said I want to be friends with lots of boys, including you?”
“Why don’t you just say it, Holly,” he said, minus the Heart. I could sense him backing off again. And not just because he pulled his hand away. “It’s about leaving, isn’t it? You want out because you don’t think it’ll work if you’re in Denver.”
“Even if we weren’t moving, it might be a good idea to cool it…spend less time together,” I said, avoiding his eyes, trying to be gentle about this.
He slammed his fist against the back of the seat. “Because of Sean? Or because you want to meet new people—big-city guys?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s because of me.”
“Well, consider it done,” he said in a mocking sort of way.
I looked up at him, shocked.
“I really don’t know how I feel about being friends with you anymore, Holly,” he continued. “And don’t expect me to follow that no-flirting rule of yours any longer.” With that, he left me sitting alone in the semidarkness while the storm howled outside.
It was howling inside, too.
Crushed. That’s what I was. Totally and completely crushed. “Will the real Jared Wilkins please stand up,” I whispered.
I sat quietly, pondering the events of the week.
“I don’t ever want to lose our friendship,”
Jared had told me. His plans to drive to Denver when he got his license and to call me long-distance still rang in my ears. So much for our prayer pact and Matthew 18:19.
My heart beat a zillion miles an hour. But my tears had dried up. Angry and hurt, I ran to the solace of the girls’ rest room.
GOOD-BYE, DRESSEL HILLS
I was washing my hands when Paula burst into the girls’ bathroom. “There you are,” she said, out of breath. “I’ve been trying to track you down.”
“Jared and I needed to talk.” I filled her in on the latest details of the Holly-Jared thing.
“Oh, wow, I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, coming over to lean on one of the sinks. “I’m surprised Jared turned on you.”
I pulled two paper towels out of the dispenser. “People say and do weird things when they’re angry,” I said, pushing the rumpled-up towels into the trash. “Besides, spending so much time with only one guy when you’re fourteen…I don’t know…my dad says it just doesn’t make sense.”
Paula nodded, touching up her shoulder-length hair. “Fourteen going on twenty-six, my mother says. But she explains it like this: From the time we’re first attracted to guys, until we marry our life mate, females are more inclined to want special friendships with only one male at a time. It’s one of the things God did when He created Eve.”
I smiled at my reflection. Paula had a way of expressing herself like no other.
“That’s how I felt about Danny, and then Jared. But now,” I paused, pulling my compact out of my purse. “Now it seems like it was a mistake not to be friends with everyone, you know?”
She nodded.
Just then, Andie flew into the rest room. “Holly!” she called, running over to me. “Are you okay?” She flung her arms around me.
“I’ve had better days,” I mumbled.
“You poor baby.”
“I’m okay, really,” I said. “It’s Jared who’s got a problem.”
“I know.” She flung her purse on the shelf above the sink. “He’s not being too cool about this,” she informed me. “He just told Stan and Billy you two called it quits.”
“He did…already?” I said, amazed.
Andie sighed. “Jared’s a macho male machine, in case you’d forgotten. Now brace yourself for this, okay?” She held on to my shoulders, looking into my eyes.
“I can almost hear it now,” I scoffed.
“Jared’s taking the credit for breaking up with you, like it’s some big deal for him. But let me guess—you were the one who got this whole thing started, right?”
As usual, she was right on track. I nodded. “If that’s the way he wants to play this game, let him,” I said, resigned to whatever happened. It wasn’t easy dealing with this kind of craziness when you were trapped at school.
“Supper is served” came Miss W’s voice over the loudspeaker.
“Chow time!” Andie grabbed my arm and guided me into the hall. She instructed Paula to walk on the other side of me so Jared could see we were a unified force. “He’s not gonna mess with your head anymore,” Andie said, leading me to the cafeteria.
Andie was like that. She liked to take charge of things, especially when I was hurt. Maybe because, like me, she was the oldest in her family. Her twin brothers—at age three—were so much younger.
Stan came into the lunchroom and got in line with Andie. He glanced out the windows at the vicious, swirling storm. “Tennis, anyone?” he joked.
Andie laughed.
“Has anyone heard the weather report?” I asked. “Sure would be nice to know when this blizzard will be over.” I wondered what Mom and Uncle Jack were doing at home. Were they getting calls, or was
our
phone line dead, too?
Stan reached for a tray and handed it to Andie. “I heard Mr. Ross tell another teacher that the elementary schools closed at noon because of the severe windchill factor.”
“That’s good,” I said, relieved that at least the rest of my family was home, safe and snug.
The cafeteria was a sight to behold. There were candles burning in glass holders on each table. And somewhere, they’d found plastic yellow daffodils for the centerpieces.
“Let’s sit over there,” Andie said, pointing to a table for four. Miles away from our usual spot. Paula and I followed Stan and Andie as they led the way.
I tried not to pay attention to Jared sitting with Danny and Billy across the cafeteria from us. Amy-Liz and her friends Joy and Shauna were eating with them, too. I didn’t mind that the girls were there. It was their laughter that bugged me. Especially Jared’s.
The spaghetti was great, and all of us concluded that Mr. Ross and Miss W were a good culinary team. When they got ready to retire from teaching, they could make extra money cooking for snowbound students.
Halfway through dessert, the principal made an announcement about phones being available for calls. “Students who have not had a chance to make a call may come to the office now,” he said.
I looked across the cozy table at Stan. “Want to call home?” I asked.
He shrugged. “It’s more important for you to find out what’s happening. Go ahead.” He was referring to Uncle Jack’s phone appointment.
I glanced at my watch. Six-thirty. “It’s still a bit early,” I said. “What if the call hasn’t come yet?”
“Then I’ll call back later,” Stan offered. “That way we’ll know what happened with the move for sure.”
“Thanks,” I said, excusing myself.
Just as I got up, the lights went out. The kids
ooh
ed softly. I reached for the glass candle holder on our table. “Mind if I borrow this?”
Andie grinned up at Stan. “We can see just fine, can’t we?”
Oh, puhleeze,
I thought.
Paula looked uncomfortable about remaining at the table without me. I understood how she must feel. Especially since I kept hearing Jared’s voice—and Amy-Liz’s—drifting across the cafeteria.
“Come with me,” I invited Paula, who jumped up.
We made our way by candlelight down the hall to the office phones. Only a few kids were in line ahead of us. Because there were fewer students this time, Mr. Ross allowed longer conversations than before. The office shone with soft candlelight. Three teachers stood around talking.
“Wouldn’t you hate to monitor phone calls for a living?” Paula whispered behind me.
“Actually, I feel sorry for them,” I said. “This has got to be every teacher’s worst nightmare—stuck overnight at school with a bunch of kids.”
“I wonder where we’ll sleep,” she said.
“Maybe we won’t,” I joked.
Mr. Ross paced nervously as each student talked on the phone. His eyes looked strained. He’d removed his sweater hours before, and the sleeves of his blue dress shirt were rolled up to the elbows. I could almost picture him stirring noodles in a deep pot of boiling water, with Miss W by his side. “Next,” he called out as a girl hung up the phone.
Two more to go,
I thought, dying for news about Uncle Jack’s decision. Surely the phone lines hadn’t been down all over Dressel Hills.
Paula asked Mr. Ross where we’d be sleeping if the blizzard didn’t let up soon.
“We’ll give the ladies the library since it’s carpeted. How’s that?” He smiled broadly. “Miss Wannamaker and Miss Hess will monitor the girls’ side of the building. Lights-out will be ten-thirty.” He said it as though he wished that were only a few minutes from now.
Paula flashed her perfect smile. “Bookworms unite,” she said. “We’ll have plenty to keep us occupied, if the electricity comes back on, that is.”
“We sure hope so,” Mr. Ross said. “We might easily run out of candles, and we don’t have many flashlights.”
Finally I held the phone receiver in my hand. I punched in my phone number. Busy. Quickly, I redialed. Still busy.
“I’ll try again later,” I told Mr. Ross, who was back to pacing.
Paula dialed her number next, since her cell was still useless. Her line was busy, too. We stepped out of line and let the student behind us go next.
“Maybe my dad’s talking to your uncle,” Paula said. “Maybe they know something already.” She offered a comforting smile. Like she knew exactly what I was feeling.
Jared and Billy passed us in the hall, still joking around. I turned away. It hurt seeing Jared so jovial and carefree after what happened between us today.
When it was my turn again, I dialed my phone number. Again the line was busy.
Paula dialed next. She nodded her head, signaling she’d gotten through. “Hi, Mom. I’m still at school. We’re stranded here, but I guess you knew that.” She paused. “How’s Kayla?”
A longer pause ensued as Paula listened to her mom chatter, no doubt.
“I miss you, too,” she said at last.
Suddenly I had an idea. “Ask your mom if she’s heard anything from Uncle Jack,” I whispered.