Inside Seka - The Platinum Princess of Porn (45 page)

He wouldn’t even stand up to talk to me so I leaned over and said, “It’s a good thing John Holmes didn’t have your fucking attitude, because he wouldn’t have gone anywhere.”

Henry Winkler was on the other side of him and I moved out of there so fast I smacked right into him. I said, “I didn’t mean to mow you down like that.”

Henry said, “Someone should have told Kilmer that earlier.” Afterwards, fan after fan was telling me how rude he was. He sat there playing with his iPod, never even took his sunglasses off, and wouldn’t pose for pictures. I also heard he wasn’t on time the whole weekend. He just didn’t seem to be a nice person. There’s absolutely no need for that, especially when you were Batman and have kids for fans.

In spite of exceptions like Kilmer, I’d still say that 99% of the celebrities are nice to their fans. Larry Hagman and Barbara Eden have also been quite friendly whenever our paths cross at these events. And I love Dawn Wells from
Gilligan’s Island.

At one Chiller Con, Paul Reubens was there. I loved him on
Murphy Brown
and of course as Pee Wee Herman. I always thought he’d gotten a bum rap in that porn theater bust that derailed his career for a while.

We both had packed lines. It was just crazy. At the end of the day, I knew a short cut through the kitchen because there’s an elevator in there.

All the staff was saying, “Hi, Seka. How are you?” I guess I make friends easily. Then here comes Pee Wee Herman yelling, “Hold the door!”

When I saw him I shrieked, “Oh my God!”

Then he goes, “Oh My God!”

I told him, “I always wanted to meet you!”

So he repeated, “I always wanted to meet YOU!” It was just comical. We started taking pictures of each other on the elevator. We’ve been great friends ever since. Unfortunately, because of the controversy, we have to kind of play it cool when the general public is around. I guess you could say Pee Wee Herman is my secret lover. Ha!

Erin Moran from
Happy Days
was trying to find a table at one Chiller after a Nor’easter had created some chaos in the big tent we were in. I grabbed one for her and we hit it off. She has so much energy it’s ridiculous. And she’s just plain funny as hell. I invited her to dinner with a group of celebs who we usually go out with the last night of the show. We started drinking, with Erin downing martinis. In the middle of it all, this one actor next to me keeps looking down my shirt. I finally said, “Do you want to see them?” and pulled them out right there in the restaurant. Then my girlfriend Stevie did the same. Then all the women at the table started taking off their blouses and were down to their bras, including Erin. Of course, we kept our backs to everyone so as not to offend.

It was a memorable evening. As are most of my experiences on the road.

At the Hollywood Collector’s Show in Chicago with
Playboy
Playmate of the Month, August 1982, Cathy St. George. It was her birthday.

With Big Ken Norton, former heavyweight champ.

Making a Soup Nazi sandwich (Larry Thomas) with Marilyn Chambers.

Me and my ‘rasslers: The Iron Sheik and Capt. Lou Albano.

No, really, this is what a fan fest looks like. Me and two ghostbusters.

The greatest lover I ever had: Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens).

A real gentleman, Henry Winkler.

50.
Orphaned Again

I can’t say I had any great love for my mom.

Mom was always jealous of me. I was daddy’s little girl. I later learned that when she was pregnant with me she did everything she could to have a miscarriage. I don’t know what the medication was called at the time, but I was told she was taking it.

Hey, it’s great to be wanted.

In spite of it all, I came out stronger, bigger, and tougher than my brother and sister. Yet as fate would have it, I looked exactly like my mother. The problem was, she didn’t want anyone around who was younger and prettier.

Throughout my life, if I saw her once a year it was a lot. But when I did it was usually a doozy. I’ll never forget the time she visited my first husband and I walked into the kitchen and she turned around, gave me an odd look, and wrapped her arms around Frank. “He doesn’t want you — he wants me. Why don’t you go away so we can finish what we’re doing?”

Pretty sick shit. It was just another way to make me feel less of a person, like I wasn’t good enough.

Frank just looked at me uncomfortably and said, “I haven’t done anything.”

“I know,” I responded with disgust in my voice.

She was beautiful and used to being the center of attention, but clearly when I started developing it was competition she could not stand. I just looked at her and shook my head. Nothing had changed. It was sad.

The fact I didn’t see her all that much was probably a good thing. I guess I was trying to be a good kid because in spite of it all, I bought her a home in Florida. She was taking care of my grandparents and didn’t have any money, so I didn’t want her to worry about paying a mortgage or rent.

Plus, I didn’t need her coming to me all the time for cash. With the house, all she’d have were her normal monthly bills. But I held the title in my name, because I figured she’d do something crazy — she always did.

One day she called out of the blue and said, “Could you send me some autographed pictures?”

“Sure, Mom. Who do you want me to make them out to?”

“Just sign them.”

I didn’t think much of it until she called a while later. “I just want you to know, I told the carpet guy that Seka was my daughter and he put all new carpeting in my house for the pictures.”

Oddly, I think it was the one time she was proud of me.

When AIDS was all over the news, I got a call from a reporter, saying he’d heard from a “good source” that I was HIV positive. “Who’s the source?”

“Your mother.”

With mothers like that, who needs a knife in the back? I called her. “What’s your problem? I don’t have AIDS! Are you trying to destroy my career?”

“I dreamed it, so I figured it must be true.”

“I’m not even going into how crazy that is, but why the hell did you call the press about it?”

There was no good answer and we both knew it. She did it for the attention. Just calling a reporter and saying she was Seka’s mother might not have gotten her much play. But saying her daughter Seka had AIDS? Well, that was newsworthy — if it were true. Thank God I don’t think anyone in the media ran with it, but they could have. Thanks, Mom.

My mother would sometimes say to me, “I know you’ll take care of me when I get real old. I can come live with you.”

“Oh no, old woman. You will not be living in my home and I will not be taking care of you. You need to take care of that part of your life. And I will not take care of your funeral arrangements, either.”