Look Both Ways (9 page)

The visit was brief, but during that time Susan gained a world of respect for Willard Cartwright Jr. She saw him not as a minister who spouted platitudes in the pulpit, but a man with genuine warmth and compassion. She also knew her views of Cedargrove, its citizens, and their problems had changed. They returned to the car and Will expressed his sentiment.

“I had no idea you knew anything about my father. I’m sure it made his day to know that someone your age remembers the way it was. Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me. I meant what I said. My mother told me of your father’s civil rights work during his college years, and that he once marched with Dr. King. I quake in the presence of people like him. I know how much courage it took for them to put their lives on the line to make this world a better place for the rest of us. I’m forever ingratiated to all of them, both black and white.”

“The struggle hasn’t ended yet, Susan. That’s what this whole thing with Sealand is about. This area has been singled out. I’m sure of it. Maybe they hid things to make it look okay to you, but I can assure you it isn’t.”

Feeling a ton of guilt wrapped in the likeness of Price Bishop, she tried to explain Sealand’s position and listened to Will’s concerns for Cedargrove residents whose appeals for clemency with delinquency problems had been rebuffed by Sealand’s staff. Susan was pleased that they were able to disagree without being disagreeable, but hoped the Sealand and Cedargrove discussions would cease.

He passed a red brick house with white trim, pointed to the driveway, and honked his horn. “That’s my house, and my best friend is in the driveway. His name is Rex. Not original, but easy to remember. I’m divorced. The death of our seventeen-month-old son and my ministerial duties drove my wife away. I won’t dwell on it. I just wanted you to know.”

She waited a few minutes, silently composing her next lines. “I’m divorced as well. My promotions and salary drove us apart, and I left him after a very disturbing physical confrontation. I won’t dwell on it, either. It’s in the past.”

As they neared her apartment she wondered how he viewed their date and how it would end. She liked him a lot. He was jovial and upbeat, yet serious and committed. She unwittingly compared him to Travis, who was bland and deeply connected to bad memories.

They arrived at the door and he took her hand.

“I enjoyed having you as my guest today. You’re a very pleasant and very beautiful lady. Thank you for brightening my world.” He kissed her hand.

“I had a wonderful time. Thank you for inviting me.” She unlocked the door and turned to say good-bye. “I didn’t mean to climb on my soapbox, Will. I know the issues of your neighborhood are important to you and I respect that a great deal, even when we disagree.”

He nodded. “I’m glad you said that. Yes, the issues of Cedargrove, my church, and my congregation are important to me.” There was an amused twinkle in his eyes. “But I’m often reminded that I’m still a man. Mrs. Whitehead, Auntie, says I should pay less attention to my duties and more to my personal life. I plan to follow her advice. Do I have your permission to call you sometime?”

She found his gallant manner almost as thrilling as his crooked smile. “I’ll look forward to it.”

“How about dinner later in the week? I’m not sure of the day, but I can call you when I get to my office.”

“My evening calendar is clear all week, so just let me know when you’re available. Thanks again for a wonderful day.”

She watched him walk away and realized she had already surrendered more of her heart than she could afford to lose.

CHAPTER 5

The next week was a busy one for Susan, but she managed to squeeze in a little time for relaxation—and Will. As she feared, she would have to strip the files and underwrite the loans without any assistance from Price’s department. The few files his staff did review contained cryptic notations such as “documentation missing” or “unable to determine cause of rejection.” When questioned, Price had a ready answer.

“I don’t know how to convey this message to you, but this isn’t going to work. It’s almost impossible to do what you’re asking. These underwriters have current files that must proceed or we’ll be getting a lot more visits from angry applicants. I simply don’t have the manpower to go back and underwrite denied loans, no matter how many ministers cry foul.”

The war was on, and she planned to take no prisoners.

She was in the middle of a major problem involving a Dallas branch office when Will called. She kept him waiting only as long as necessary before taking the call.

“I really enjoyed spending time with you Saturday, but I would like to do something next time that wouldn’t bore you to tears.”

Hearing his voice, Susan imagined his laughing eyes. She wondered if the lack of male companionship could explain her intense response to him, but quickly discarded that theory as she and Travis had been in each other’s presence and she had felt nothing remotely resembling what she felt for Will.

“Well, I wasn’t bored; women generally aren’t bored at fashion shows. I actually enjoyed it, and enjoyed meeting your father. I enjoyed being with you.”

“The pleasure was all mine, and I would very much like to see you again. I’m tied up today and tomorrow. Are you free for lunch on Wednesday?”

“I sure am.” Wednesday seemed a lifetime away. She wanted to see him now, to touch him, to have him extinguish the fire that was building inside her.

* * *

“We’re having lunch on Wednesday,” Susan repeated to her mother that evening. “I met his mother and one of his sisters at church. He stopped to check on his father when he was driving me home, and I met him as well. He looks much younger than his age suggests.”

“Does he…is he still handsome?” Tammy asked hesitantly.

“He is. Angie said the stroke happened just after finishing a sermon. He’s expected to regain most, or all, of his mobility, but you can see his frustration and impatience. I’ll ask Will more about it on Wednesday.”

The enormity of Susan’s responsibilities became clear as calls for directions and assistance came from the other branches. But even in the midst of erupting crises, her mind kept drifting to Will’s appealing smile. On Wednesday, she brushed, flossed, and reapplied her makeup before leaving for Farrell’s Steakhouse. Will was waiting at the table.

“I’d figured I’d better not be late twice,” he said, smiling as he stood.

She ordered tea and was surprised when he ordered a glass of wine.

“What? We serve this stuff in church. Go ahead, have a glass.”

“No, thank you. I can hardly respond to the crisis around me when I’m totally sober. One glass of wine and I just might tell them all where to go and how to get there.”

“I’m sure you’re very capable, even after a glass of wine.” His voice was smoky and smoldering. “Tell me, how did you get in the lending business?”

“Just a fluke. I was headed for law school when I took a summer job at Sealand. A branch manager hired me, and I guess he liked my work. I continued there and went for an MBA instead.”

They talked of nothing in particular, but he laughed a lot. Susan found nothing to dislike about him. He was an entertaining, relaxing, and exceptionally handsome man. She remembered her mother’s interest, and inquired about his father.

“My mother was excited that I had met your father. He’s obviously made a big impression on her. I hope his health is improving.”

“Thank you, and thank your mother. Dad is my hero, and it’s great to know he is well thought of by others. He was a little surprised that your mother was aware of his summer in Washington. It was a special part of his youth. My appreciation for him, as a father and a minister, is tremendous. His illness was yet another example of just how precious life is. He’s getting stronger every day, and I thank God for that.”

He walked her to her car, held the door, and asked if she was free for dinner on Friday night.

She said yes, and he said he would pick her up at seven.

“I’ll see you then. Thanks for lunch.” She wanted a kiss. A hug. Something to take with her. She drove away, aware that he was there with her. He was inside of her.

“Friday is day after tomorrow.” She almost sang the words. “I guess I can wait that long.”

* * *

Work became one long telephone call. By Friday, Susan was exhausted. Knowing she would be seeing Will brightened the drive home. He called as she was trying to decide what to wear.

“Susan, it’s Will. I am so sorry, but I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. Another one of those small church emergencies. But I’ve cleared my calendar for tomorrow. All day. I hope I didn’t ruin your evening.”

“Ah, no, I understand.”

“So you’ll forgive me and let me make it up to you tomorrow? Please?”

She tried to hide her disappointment. “Sure. No problem.”

“You’re an angel. We’ll spend the day in Galveston. It’s not the beach as you know it, but it is close by. Dress casually. Shorts or whatever. I’ll pick you up…say ten o’clock? Is that too early?”

“No, ten is fine.” She hung up, grabbed her purse, and headed to the Galleria to shop for shorts. The store had a huge selection, and she had a hard time choosing. She ended up with eight pairs, and spent much of the evening deciding which one to wear. She finally settled on khakis and chose a pale pink, very feminine pullover. She fell asleep thinking of tomorrow.

The lump in her throat allowed no room for breakfast to pass, but Susan managed to drink a glass of milk and nibble the edges of a slice of wheat toast. She packed a shoulder bag with tanning lotion, sunglasses, and minimal essentials.

She was holding Dino when she answered the doorbell. “On time again,” she said, looking at his khaki shorts, navy shirt, and thrilling smile. “Early, even.”

“Yeah, you were my inspiration. Hey, what’s that?” He pointed to Dino.

“This is Dino,
my
best friend, and don’t tell me you hate cats.”

“Hate is too strong a word. I’m just more comfortable with dogs, but I get along with most cats. Hi, Dino.”

He reached out and the cat jumped from Susan’s arms. Laughing, she said, “Come on in. I’ll get my hat.”

“This place is fabulous. Decorate it yourself?”

“It belongs to Sealand and came fully decorated. I added a little color and my limited Lladró collection.”

“Boy,” he said, looking around. “They must like you a lot.”

“I wouldn’t say that. They own four units in this building. I’m just lucky one was available when they transferred me here.” She said good-bye to Dino and followed Will to a red Jeep Wrangler.

“See, I’m also a Jeep fan. This is my runaround utility vehicle. It’s usually just me and the dog on Saturdays.”

The conversation was easy, and Susan began to relax and enjoy the music on the radio. Will had tuned to a jazz station. He already knew she liked jazz, so she wasn’t sure if the music indicated his personal taste or his effort to please. They both smiled a lot, and Susan got her first glimpse of Galveston Island when they crossed the bridge.

“So tell me, how do you like Houston so far?” he asked.

“I don’t like the traffic, and I’m fascinated by the size of your newspaper,” she answered. “The article I just read regarding twenty cool things about Houston definitely wasn’t referring to the weather. Other than that, I like it.”

“Ask a question and get a direct response. I like that. We had two newspapers at one time. The
Houston Post
folded many years ago, and
The Houston Chronicle
now rules solo.”

He parked in Galveston’s historic district, where the island’s shops and restaurants were mostly housed in French-styled buildings that reminded Susan of New Orleans. So did the humidity. They window-shopped and toured a museum of Galveston’s history before stopping for a snowball. Susan welcomed the pause, but was not prepared for Will’s next question.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what happened to end your marriage? I know you told me the basics. I’m only asking so I won’t make the same mistake he made.”

“Nothing is ever one person’s mistake,” she answered, and sat beside him on a bench in front of a craft store. “Stan was the campus athlete, the one every girl wanted. I’m a big sports fan, especially basketball, so it was a natural match. We dated for roughly six months, had a brief engagement and a wonderful wedding.”

“I take it you don’t go in for long engagements?”

“I…well, I guess I can tell you this. I mean, who better to tell than a minister?” She looked into his eyes. “I’m very old-fashioned when it comes to…intimacy. I was a virgin, and was determined to remain one until after I married. And I did.”

“Wow! That’s not the answer I expected.”

“My father didn’t expect it, either. His mouth hinged open when Stan asked his permission to marry me and I told him the reason we didn’t want to wait.”

The memory made her smile. “Stan is not a bad person, but like so many, he was plagued with self-doubt. I didn’t realize it for quite awhile, but he craved attention the way some men crave drugs and alcohol. I was fortunate to have found a job that became a career. Stan was supportive and complimentary, but the higher I rose, the lower his ego sank.”

Will listened intently and stroked her arm when she finished.

“And I thought you were going to say he cheated.”

“Is that what happened with your wife?”

“No, no. She and I were very much in love. At least I was. I was the happiest man on earth when our son was born, but Tracey became restless. We had met when she worked for my accounting firm, so I suggested she return to work part-time and leave Trey in the church’s day care, but that was not enough. Her sister is a big socialite in Houston, and I had promised to keep Trey while she attended one of her sister’s fancy parties. Dad was out of town and someone at the church needed my help. I called to say I would be a little late and she told me to forget it. I assumed she’d stay home, even though she said she wouldn’t, so I took my time with the family. I didn’t get home until almost midnight.”

Words caught in his throat and Susan felt his pain.

“I saw Tracey asleep on the sofa when I walked into the living room, so I went to the nursery to check on Trey.” His head fell forward. “His body was tangled in the bed covers. He wasn’t breathing.”

“How did it happen?” Susan asked, taking his hand.

“Tracey had brought home a slice of cake wrapped in plastic. I assume she dropped it in Trey’s crib when she put him down. He choked.”

“Oh, Will.” It was her turn to offer comfort. “I’m sure she felt terrible.”

“She may have felt terrible, but all I saw was anger. She even told the church that my responsibilities there had caused our son’s death. The gap was too wide to bridge. She didn’t want the house or anything from it, so we settled monetarily, and she left. I don’t really know why I still live there. I shouldn’t.”

“Probably because, in spite of the tragedy, your happiest memories are there.”

He smiled faintly. “You’re probably right.”

“Well, Rev. Cartwright, or Willie Joe if you prefer, you’ll have to create new ones. I’m sure that is what Trey would have wanted.”

His smile broadened. “Mind telling me how old you are?”

“Not at all. I’m twenty-seven. How old are you?”

“Thirty-eight as of three weeks ago.” He took her hand. “And just how did you acquire so much intelligence and compassion in such a short time? Were you one of those child prodigies?”

“I doubt it, but I did have a wonderful childhood. My parents are both strong, loving people. My brothers and I weren’t allowed to watch much television. We had to pick certain shows and watch them together. To this day, I love cartoon heroes.”

She saw that the twinkle was back in his eyes, and his full attention was on her. Her attraction to him was more than just physical. She felt him deep inside of her heart.

They finished their snow cones and continued walking into the older sections of Galveston. She was fascinated with the architecture and he seemed fascinated with her. Before the walk ended, she felt comfortable enough to share a few secrets she had never told anyone. He smiled a lot, and each time her respect deepened and the ripples of passion she felt grew more insistent.

Susan did not think much of the beachfront, which was littered with cars, people and debris. She and Will removed their shoes and strolled along the water’s edge. He held her hand and they laughed like kids when the cool waves lapped at their feet. Will took folding chairs from the Jeep after their walk and purchased two bottles of water from a street vendor.

“I’m having fun, Miss Cross,” he said, smoothing lotion on her shoulders.

“So am I, Willie Joe.”

“I never should have told you that,” he said, laughing as he lightly pinched her shoulder. “Now you’ll torment me with it forever.”

They talked longer, but Susan’s thoughts remained on one word—forever.

* * *

Susan and Will had dinner at a little restaurant that was owned by someone he knew. He asked for a table on the deck, where the breathtaking vista of a sheltered glen was trapped in the sun’s dimming glow. He ordered champagne and raised his glass.

“To you, Susan Cross. Thanks for making my heart feel lighter than it has in years.”

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, and at that moment, she wanted him more than her next breath.

The conversation remained light and entertaining. Unlike Travis, who flatly stated his point of view, Will offered an opinion, asked for her comments, and listened attentively. They clearly had two things in common: they both had a broad and open-minded viewpoint on life, and they both loved their parents.

They finished dinner, shared a dessert, and stared at the moon from the deck of the restaurant that overlooked Galveston Bay. A band played soothing music, and he put his arm around her shoulder.