Love’s Journey Home (27 page)

“We’ll talk about it when we get back.” Tobias’s voice grew gruffer with each word.
He cleared his throat. “Our brothers and me, we’ll talk and we’ll figure it out.”

“Jah. We will.” He wouldn’t catch her meaning, but Helen didn’t care. She’d been on
her own a long time. She’d earned a voice in this decision. “When you get back.”

“Tell Edmond I said there’s a huge chunk of fence down on the back side of the pasture.”
Tobias’s expression lightened. He was back on solid ground. “He’d best get over there
and mend it. When he puts the horses out to graze they’ll wander off.”

“I’ll tell him.”

Tobias glanced at the sky. “It’ll be light soon. He should get up and get moving before
he has to go to the blacksmith shop.”

“I’ll tell him.”

“Tell him I said he’d best stay out of trouble.”

“I’ll tell him, Tobias.”

He shifted from one foot to the other. “Well, then.”

It was the best he could do. From years of experience, Helen knew how to read into
his words, to unearth the unspoken ones between the lines. “Take care. Come home soon.”

“That’s the plan.”

He turned away, a big hulk of a man made in the image of her father, who’d taken his
leave only a few months earlier. Only Daed would not be returning. The thought made
tears well in her eyes as she watched Tobias lumber down the steps, his boots making
a
clump, clump
sound on the wood.

Thomas and Thaddeus were waiting for Tobias to join them. Helen waved at them both.
She’d have to stop by Emma’s and make sure she was doing all right with the new baby.
It must be salt in an open wound for Thomas to have to go with a new baby at home.
But women took care of the babies. He knew Emma would be fine without him. That’s
what women did.

Inside, she trotted up the stairs, Tobias’s words still ringing in her ears. Edmond
would have to step up and do more work, both here and at the farm Tobias and Peter
shared with their brother Thaddeus. Emma would need help too, although Helen had no
doubt that Josiah and Gabriel would make sure she lacked nothing. All those Gless
boys seemed to be good workers and good-natured. Unlike their prickly, dark-eyed father
with his long legs and know-it-all opinions.

Stop it
.

At Edmond’s door, she paused and lifted her hand to knock. No sound filtered through
the door. “Edmond, Edmond, time to get up.” She opened the door and peered through
the dusky dawn. “Edmond, Tobias says the fence is down again…”

She blinked, sure the darkness played tricks on her eyes.

No Edmond.

His bed stood empty, the covers as neatly arranged as they had been the previous day.

Edmond wasn’t asleep in his bed. So where was he?

Annie stood on the porch, watching Luke shove a scruffy duffel bag into the back of
the minivan parked in front of their house. Dawn hadn’t quite arrived yet and the
air felt damp on her cheeks. She inhaled the smell of exhaust mixed with the scent
of the roses on the porch trellis. Nausea roiled in her stomach. This scouting trip
would lead to other trips until one day they’d be loading furniture into a moving
van and leaving for good.
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it
. She didn’t dare think about it. She had to be strong for Leah. Her sister-in-law
bustled in and out of the house, bringing this and that, little things she was sure
Luke would need on this trip, all the while murmuring to herself.

“We’re not going for a month,” Luke finally said, exasperation written across his
weather-beaten face. He grabbed his fraa’s arm. “Stop.”

Annie had to turn away at the emotion in Leah’s face. She slipped down the steps and
walked around the van. It was big, big enough to carry five men and their baggage
all the way to Missouri and back.

“We’ll be fine.” Thomas popped out of the open door. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried. Worrying is a sin.”

“It is.” He fixed her with that levelheaded stare that always reminded her of her
daed. “Still, it’s human.”

“I think Leah has enough worry for both of us.” She peeked around the van. Luke had
his arm around his wife. They huddled together on the porch, Luke talking to her in
a low voice. Annie averted her eyes. “I need to be strong for her.”

“Could I ask you to do something for me too?”

“Of course.”

“Help Emma.” His voice sounded hoarse. He wasn’t so steady after all. “She has the
new baby and Caleb. Gabriel and his kinner are moving into their house tomorrow so
she won’t have them to feed, but she won’t have them around to help, either.”

“I’ll help her. Don’t you worry.”

“You have so much on your plate with the bakery and Noah. Leah will need you. I hate
to ask.”

“Leah has her sister. Rebecca, Eli, and the twins will help Emma. We’ll all be fine.”
She forced a smile. “Like Luke says, you won’t be gone that long. You know Gabriel
will help too. He doesn’t strike me as someone who’ll abandon his friends.”

“Nee. He’s a good man.” Thomas lifted his hat, resettled it. The whites of his eyes
were crisscrossed with red lines. The pouches under them were dark. Another person
who hadn’t slept. “So is Isaac.”

“Thomas!”

He smiled. “I’m only saying.”

“Don’t.”

“I won’t, then.” He turned and smacked a hand on the roof of the van. “We need to
be off, Luke. We still have to stop for Silas. At this rate, we won’t get to Missouri
until next week.”

Luke clattered down the steps. Leah remained where she was on the porch, her hands
gripping the edges of her apron as if she were afraid it would blow away.

“Have a good trip.” Annie gave her brother a quick hug. “Come home as soon as you
can.”

“Help out my fraa, will you?”

“I will.”

To her surprise, Luke held onto her for another moment in a bear hug that took the
air from her lungs. “It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

He let go and gave her a grin. He was actually looking forward to this new venture.
She could see it in his face. Startled, she nodded. “It’ll be fine.”

“We’ll be back in five or six days, tops.”

“Safe travels.”

He waved, folded himself into the middle seat of the van, and pulled the sliding door
shut. The van took off, spitting gravel and dust at them. Neither Thomas nor Luke
looked back or waved.

Annie stood next to Leah on the porch, watching until the van’s taillights disappeared
into the darkness. Even when Leah went inside, letting the screen door slam behind
her, Annie found she couldn’t move.

It’ll be fine
.

D
espite the early hour, the hot sun beat down on Helen’s prayer kapp. Sweat formed
on her neck and rolled under her collar as she slowed the buggy and brought it to
a stop in front of Josiah’s blacksmith shop. She hopped down and tied the reins to
the hitching post. All the way into town she’d contemplated what she would say. She’d
come here first in hopes of finding Edmond working and not where she was afraid he’d
been during the night. Rumspringa or not, she’d have a word with him. Her mind made
up, she marched across the sidewalk, flung open the door, and entered. “Edmond!”

Josiah looked up from the shoe he was hammering onto the hoof of a very large chestnut
horse. “Easy, girl, easy,” he said. To the horse, Helen assumed. He glared at her.
“Do you mind? Easy, now. My fraa prefers I come home in one piece, what with the crops
in the field and the colicky baby.”

“Sorry.” She eased the door shut with a gentle tug. “I’m looking for Edmond.”

“Give me a minute to finish up.”

She glanced around the long, narrow room with its collection of tools and horseshoes
and the row of stalls, currently empty. No Edmond. Her stomach roiled. “But…”

“Just a minute. I’d rather not get fed my teeth for breakfast.”

She gripped her hands so tightly in front of her she could feel her fingernails digging
into her skin, but she nodded and waited while he popped in the last two nails, examined
his work, and then let the horse’s leg drop. He smoothed the animal’s rump, making
murmuring noises as he moved to the front and then patted its long, graceful neck.
“That’s a good girl. All done.”

Turning to Helen, he pulled off a leather apron and hung it on a hook next to the
rows of all sizes of horseshoes and leather tack. “I’m done here. Walk with me to
the bakery so I can get me a couple of fry pies, will you?”

“Didn’t you have breakfast?”

“My fraa does the best she can.” He wiped his hands on a towel and gestured for her
to go first through the door. “I’ve never seen so much sickness.”

“The baby or her?”

“Her. Much more than the first time.”

It was the most he would say about Miriam’s condition, but Helen gathered what he
was getting at. Morning sickness that lasted morning, noon, and night. She’d experienced
it with Betsy. Or was it Ginny?

“Tell me where Edmond is. Do you know? Why isn’t he working?”

“Whoa.” He held up a mammoth, callused hand. “I sent him home. You just missed him.
I’m surprised you didn’t pass him on the road.”

“Why? Why did you send him home?”

“He hadn’t slept. I could tell it from the wrinkled clothes and the bloodshot eyes.”
Josiah looked both ways, paused for a car to pass, and then started across the street.
“I don’t need him burning himself or nailing a shoe to his hand—or worse yet, getting
trampled—because he’s too tired to think straight.”

“I thought you were going to talk to him.” Helen scrambled to keep up with Josiah’s
long stride. She didn’t really mean to blame the man for her son’s misbehavior. “I
mean, Micah thought you might…”

“That Edmond might learn from my mistakes?” Josiah snorted. “You’re his mudder. Do
you really think children learn from the mistakes of others? I know I didn’t. Did
you?”

Helen’s rumspringa had been singularly boring. She hadn’t done one thing, not one
thing that would’ve bothered her parents—not even embarrassed them a little. She’d
always been proud of that. Now she wondered if she’d missed the whole point.

“Where was he?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Last night.”

Josiah glanced at her sidelong. He clomped along the sidewalk to the bakery, walking
as if he needed that fry pie right now or he might die of hunger.

“Josiah.”

“I didn’t agree to be a tattletale. Edmond trusts me to keep quiet about the things
he tells me. Otherwise he’ll stop talking to me.”

Helen gritted her teeth and fought for control. Josiah opened the bakery door for
her. She exhaled and went through it.

“Helen! I’m so glad to see you. I imagine you’re as worried as I am.” Annie came around
the counter, wiping her hands on a towel. “Oh, Josiah, I didn’t see you there. Is
everything all right? How’s Miriam? What can I get you?”

Josiah held up his hand to stem the flow of his sister’s chatter. “Miriam’s fine.
I’m fine. A dozen fry pies. Surprise me with the flavors, why don’t you?”

Her face wrinkled in puzzlement, Annie glanced at Helen. “What are you two doing together
at the crack of dawn?”

“Dawn has long passed.” Josiah poured himself a cup of kaffi from the thermos Annie
kept on top of the long glass counter. “I’ve already shod a horse this morning.”

“And I’ve made six dozen haystacks for Mrs. Carmichael,” Annie countered. “What is
going on?”

“It’s Edmond. He didn’t come home last night.” Helen blurted it out. She felt the
heat that billowed from her skin. Now her neck would be all blotchy. “I came to see
if he was at work. Which he’s not because your brother sent him home and he won’t
tell me where he was all night.”

“He took Abigail for a buggy ride.” Annie smiled as if her words would placate. “They
stayed out longer than they should, but then that happens when two young people are
running around at the same time.”

“Longer than they should…how do you know this?”